Is It Chilly In Here? I Feel a DRAFT - Smackdown - 7/19/2016

[Niners Fan in CT]

Just now, Rev Ray said:

I love the reaction shots of the NXT roster.  Most of them are like the little aliens from Toy Story when the giant claw comes down to claim them out of the machine.

 

And yeah, someone needs to stat get into production where Regal has his NXT cast for Takeover and explain that he has to protect his card and that's why Joe, Nak, Bayley, Asuka, Revival were "franchise protected" and couldn't get taken in the draft.

I said even before the show all they had to do is mention expansion draft rules comparable to an NFL expansion draft where teams can protect a certain amount of people. It would have literally taken them less than 30 seconds to do it.

[Rev Ray]

Also, I kind of wish Kalisto just rolled with that bad interview  and just went into full Sid and said something like "Mean Gene, can I get another take?"

[Go2Sleep]

So now that I'm not super-tired, let me go over everything that was wrong with the draft from a kayfabe perspective.

 

Spoiler

 

Round No. 1
1. Seth Rollins - Raw
2. WWE Champion Dean Ambrose - SmackDown Live
3. WWE Women's Champion Charlotte - Raw
4. AJ Styles - SmackDown Live
5. Finn Bálor - Raw from NXT

The first 4 are actually good picks. Raw being the "established brand" taking Finn at #5 makes little sense especially since they don't have the WWE champ. Roman would've made more sense here because at least they can say they have a 66% chance of getting the belt on Sunday (but when you consider that Seth knows he can't beat Roman, and Roman has a 75% chance of beating Dean at worst, Raw really has a 141% chance of getting the belt).

Round No. 2
6. Roman Reigns - Raw
7. John Cena - SmackDown Live
8. Brock Lesnar - Raw
9. Randy Orton - SmackDown Live
10. WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day - Raw

At least Raw did take Roman here, even though they screwed SD (the "land of opportunity") by taking Finn. SD's picks are indefensible here. The hip new show where guys who wouldn't normally get a chance takes the two mainstays of the last 15 years. Terrible. It also allows Raw to scoop another champion that consists of two guys who could really use a fresh singles start if/when the time is appropriate. How do you not go New Day/Owens if you're SD, and force Raw's hand into taking Cena and/or Orton in the next round, which would keep your options open for the next round? Brock is a fine pick at this level, and ends up complementing their roster nicely.

Round No. 3
11. Sami Zayn - Raw
12. Bray Wyatt - SmackDown Live
13. Sasha Banks - Raw
14. Becky Lynch - SmackDown Live
15. Chris Jericho - Raw

2/3 Raw picks in this round are wrestlers that fit right into SD's supposed identity. I mean, they can't get all the new guys, but whiffing on Zayn after taking Cena and Orton looks so inconsistent with their ideology. They also got totally clowned in the women's department. First, you don't say "I think you missed the best woman wrestler" in a smug tone right after the other team just picked Sasha fucking Banks. Second, if you do say that, the only acceptable pick is Bayley. For the record, I love Becky and think she's been horribly underused, but this spot is arguably the most "second rate" SD looked all night, and there are quite a few candidates for that.

Round No. 4
16. United States Champion Rusev (with Lana) - Raw
17. Intercontinental Champion The Miz (with Maryse) - SmackDown Live
18. Kevin Owens - Raw
19. Baron Corbin - SmackDown Live
20. Enzo & Big Cass - Raw

SD gets owned again by being forced to waste one of their limited picks on The Miz "because they need a champ." Maybe you should've thought about New Day and Rusev when you were picking Cena, Orton, and Bray Wyatt. Then Raw really punches them in the balls by taking Owens who was one of the most ideal SD guys. SD pretty much throws in the towel by taking Corbin when Cesaro, The Club, Neville, any number of NXT guys, and oh yeah... The guys taken right after this pick were still on the board.

Round No. 5
21. Gallows and Anderson - Raw
22. American Alpha - SmackDown Live from NXT
23. Big Show - Raw
24. Dolph Ziggler - SmackDown Live
25. Nia Jax - Raw from NXT

SD finally makes a good pick with American Alpha. Raw finally makes a bad pick (possibly the worst in the draft) with Show at 23, who would've probably been available in the 30s and maybe the 40s. SD still has a chance at Cesaro, Neville, Kalisto, and all of NXT... So of course they take Dolph who's like the worst guy left with a "workrate" gimmick. Nia was probably a reach for Raw, but it fills a need, and they'veso thoroughly owned SD to this point that it doesn't really matter if they start reaching.

Round No. 6
26. Neville - Raw
27. Natalya - SmackDown Live
28. Cesaro - Raw
29. Alberto Del Rio - SmackDown Live
30. Sheamus - Raw

More absolute soul-ownage from Raw. SD misses the last two main roster guys that fit their vision with Neville and Cesaro, the latter being passed over for Natalya who is possibly the worst main roster woman remaining. At this point both teams start swapping garbage, but at least SD can say they got the best of the garbage heap with ADR.

Round No. 7 (announced during WWE Draft Center Live on WWE Network)
31. Golden Truth - Raw
32. The Usos - SmackDown Live
33. Titus O'Neil - Raw
34. Demon Kane - SmackDown Live
35. Paige - Raw

You know Raw's been killing it when Golden Truth at 31 looks like a good pick. Gotta start bolstering the jobber division. The Usos are a solid pick for SD, but what do they do after putting Alpha over? Kane is yet another antithetical pick to SD's narrative. SD could've also really used Paige, but nope, gotta have Nattie and Kane.

Round No. 8 (announced during WWE Draft Center Live on WWE Network)
36. Darren Young (with Bob Backlund) - Raw
37. Kalisto - SmackDown Live
38. Sin Cara - Raw
39. Naomi - SmackDown Live
40. Jack Swagger - Raw
41. The Ascension - SmackDown Live

Why does anyone want the Ascension? Naomi is a solid value at this stage for SD. Raw definitely shores up the jobber division.

Round No. 9 (announced during WWE Draft Center Live on WWE Network)
42. The Dudley Boyz - Raw
43. Zack Ryder - SmackDown Live
44. Summer Rae - Raw
45. Apollo Crews - SmackDown Live
46. Mark Henry - Raw
47. Alexa Bliss - SmackDown Live from NXT

I guess with 75% of the draft behind them, it's time for SD to start understanding their own goals and the concept of value. 3 good picks here for them, Raw's just picking names out of a hat at this point because they're set.

Round No. 10 Picks (announced during WWE Draft Center Live on WWE Network)
48. Braun Strowman - Raw
49. Breezango - SmackDown Live
50. Bo Dallas - Raw
51. Eva Marie - SmackDown Live
52. Shining Stars - Raw
53. The Vaudevillains - SmackDown Live

Vaudevillains behind Eva and the Colones? Ouch. Eva on the main roster is going to be a disaster, but 2/3 good picks for SD... It looks like they've got the hang of this now.

Round No. 11 (announced during WWE Draft Center Live on WWE Network)
54. Alicia Fox - Raw
55. Erick Rowan - SmackDown Live
56. Dana Brooke - Raw
57. Mojo Rawley - SmackDown Live from NXT
58. Curtis Axel - Raw
59. Carmella - SmackDown Live from NXT

More names out of a hat. SD gets bailed out from their own incompetence by getting Mojo when they should've just taken him with Ryder 20 picks ago.

 

TL;DR - Bryan and Shane are the most kayfabe incompetent authority figures ever.

Raw could actually survive for a year or more without help if they managed their roster right. If SD doesn't raid NXT after Brooklyn, they're unwatchable by the end of the year. With each brand doing ppvs every month, this is gonna get old real fast. Get ready for 50/50 feuds that last 3-4 months up and down the card.

[evilwaldo]

People are overreacting to everything.  Who goes where is not as big of a problem as how they are used.

[RIPPA]

I know I have said this already but that was probably by biggest kayfabe wise probably with the Smackdown picks (besides the whole Bryan not picking people he "knows")

Shane constantly lamenting that RAW had an advantage by having more picks but not drafting a tag team till American Alpha.

There is no reason to take Randy Orton ahead of New Day when you are complaining about not having draft picks

[Raziel]

2 minutes ago, evilwaldo said:

People are overreacting to everything.  Who goes where is not as big of a problem as how they are used.

And what has WWE Creative done in the last near decade to make anyone believe that the "how they are used" won't be a problem?

[JohnnyJ]

I just want to know who Apollo Crews pissed off. One of the things I don't like about the draft concept is the people who are drafted in the later rounds look like losers. 

 

[clintthecrippler]

Apparently you all missed when Kalisto joined the RAW booth for commentary one night during his Del Rio feud. That was like last night but for an entire match and he was trying to sell a PPV bout. Way uncomfortable.

[evilwaldo]

2 minutes ago, Raziel403 said:

And what has WWE Creative done in the last near decade to make anyone believe that the "how they are used" won't be a problem?

Exactly my point.  When your division consists of six people the range of matches is quite small.  When you only have two or three hours of television per week and four or five belts creative is going to have a difficult time utilizing the talent in a proper manner.

 

1 minute ago, JohnnyJ said:

I just want to know who Apollo Crews pissed off. One of the things I don't like about the draft concept is the people who are drafted in the later rounds look like losers. 

 

Welcome to every pro draft.

[CSC]

 

[nate]

16 hours ago, piranesi said:

Ugh.  Bryan as a GM sounds like a guy you used to be in a band with who now finds you on facebook and is trying to sell you a time share.

That's eerily specific.

[Spritenaut 32]

I didn't really enjoy the show, but Bryan passively aggressively hating Nakamura and indy guys he worked with for years (aside from AJ) by not drafting any of them was amusing.

The Network show was worth it's weight in awkward unscripted moments.  Booker T better start packing his own food from now on.  Someone obviously put COCAINE in his cocaine (not that I know he does cocaine).  Bagging on Cena was hilarious, as was Rene asking the Usos how they like being hated for teaming with Roman.  Then there was Zayn's bit and Owens' promo, which may or may not have been scripted.  Oh, and JoJo looking like it was time to crawl under a rug and exit the room via secret tunnel during the Cesaro interview.

The Kallisto interview was bad, but I felt like him clearly saying "God Damn" the moment the mic started to move away was worse.  Give this man a live mic on RAW!

I feel like the big loser last night might have been Bayley.  Longer they stall on bringing her up, the more I feel like they'll either never call her up or inadvertently kill her dead when they do.  It seems really obvious they don't know what to do with her on the main roster.

 

[EVA]

5 hours ago, RIPPA said:

Well even then you could find kayfabe reasons for all the NXT slights (Regal presenting a can't draft list or guys working the Takeover show not eligible) but when they spend the whole night babbling about Shane leaning on Bryan's familiarity with wrestlers for their picks and then they didn't take Cesaro

Bryan is very familiar with Kane.

[piranesi]

3 hours ago, Playa Shunna Ver 3.0 said:

"Like I said...i'm here to make a good....sta....a good lucha thing......"

 

Kalisto's first and last WWE promo.

The thing is, what is logically supposed to be the end of that he was going for?  I'm here to make a good lucha what?

make a good lucha impression?

make a good lucha proud?

make a good lucha sandwich?

 

[JCM]

I kinda feel bad for Bayley having to see a bunch of women she carries to watchable matches get called up before her, but then I see Sasha two minute tag and handicap matches on the MR where everyone involved looks worse and I don't feel so bad.

[nate]

1 hour ago, Vader does my taxes! said:

I didn't really enjoy the show, but Bryan passively aggressively hating Nakamura and indy guys he worked with for years (aside from AJ) by not drafting any of them was amusing.

The Network show was worth it's weight in awkward unscripted moments.  Booker T better start packing his own food from now on.  Someone obviously put COCAINE in his cocaine (not that I know he does cocaine).  Bagging on Cena was hilarious, as was Rene asking the Usos how they like being hated for teaming with Roman.  Then there was Zayn's bit and Owens' promo, which may or may not have been scripted.  Oh, and JoJo looking like it was time to crawl under a rug and exit the room via secret tunnel during the Cesaro interview.

The Kallisto interview was bad, but I felt like him clearly saying "God Damn" the moment the mic started to move away was worse.  Give this man a live mic on RAW!

I feel like the big loser last night might have been Bayley.  Longer they stall on bringing her up, the more I feel like they'll either never call her up or inadvertently kill her dead when they do.  It seems really obvious they don't know what to do with her on the main roster.

 

But not knowing what to do with someone on the main roster hasn't stopped them before (Breeze, Corbin).

[mattdangerously]

4 hours ago, RIPPA said:

 

He forgot the word "luchador"!  Goddamn, that is amazing.

There's a lesson to be learned here:  NEVER say "shock the world" in a live wrestling promo.  It never goes well.

[Niners Fan in CT]

Remember when Triple H said WWE really needs to be careful about calling guys up and not having something for them to do.

[evilwaldo]

19 minutes ago, Niners Fan in CT said:

Remember when Triple H said WWE really needs to be careful about calling guys up and not having something for them to do.

See below because you will see a lot of that now.  Calling it in advance.

59 minutes ago, JCM said:

I kinda feel bad for Bayley having to see a bunch of women she carries to watchable matches get called up before her, but then I see Sasha two minute tag and handicap matches on the MR where everyone involved looks worse and I don't feel so bad.

Welcome to the New Era of WWE wrestling!!!!

Seriously, how else will you fit all of the groups on television?

[Ace]

4 hours ago, RIPPA said:

There was a neat little thing on the Network where they had Golden Truth on and they were talking about how happy they were to still be together and how they were old guys just trying to extend their careers and fight off the young guys.

I really wish I had just watched nothing but the Network show

Since I was on the west coast, that's exactly what I did.

 

[Roman]

1 hour ago, piranesi said:

The thing is, what is logically supposed to be the end of that he was going for?  I'm here to make a good lucha what?

make a good lucha impression?

make a good lucha proud?

make a good lucha sandwich?

 

... make a good luchador humble.

[A Guy Named Tracy]

3 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I feel bad for Kalisto. He gets a chance to talk, which he usually doesn't and was clearly nervous. Yeah, he flubbed his lines, but I don't think it's the worst thing I've ever heard. Let's be honest. Take Scott Steiner for example. His promos were incoherent and didn't make much sense. He gets a pass though because he's bat shit insane and fit his character. 

I dunno, that was pretty awful. His stammering was Jumpin Jeff Farmer bad. Thank goodness he didn't bring up tables turning the wrong way. 

[Roman]

On the good side, if he flubs his lines next time and says he's half the man that his opponent is, he probably wouldn't be wrong.

[Nice Guy Eddie]

Of course, this whole thing was doomed from the start because not even Shane McMahon can be seen as getting one over on Stephanie. Until she is no longer a focal point of storylines that gets to cut the balls off the actual wrestlers; this is what we're going to get. There are some on this board that have been noticeably absent from this thread that will misconstrue this as me having an issue with a successful women in a traditionally male dominated industry or me wanting to see Stephanie the victim of domestic violence or whatever her apologists come up with. I don't see how some can simply chalk it up to a heel getting heel heat. 

[zev]

Bo Dallas and Braun Strowman will be the NWO B&W version of the Wyatt Family.

Also, I am happy for all the people in this thread that are happy Lawler won't be on RAW or SD.