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All-Purpose Health and Fitness Thread


Super Ape

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It's terrible that the ONLY thing I enjoy in my life (besides the unstated obvious) is eating, but that good feeling only lasts as long as the food does. Then I have to fight off sleep after a massive amount of insulin gets released. I've really gotta deal with my issues, long-term (read: forever).

 

Anyone go to Planet Fitness? You cannot believe how much I hate that place. Despise it. Loathe it.

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I just rejoined LA Fitness. It largely sucks but it has a pool and I like to swim because I have achy knees.

My job will pay for half of an annual membership. In order to do this, I need an annual membership. The lunkhead working at membership that day was trying to tell me they didn't have annual sales memberships anymore ("They aren't even in our system!"), but he could offer me a three-for-two plan. I told them I was sure Planet Fitness offered annual memberships, and he said he was pretty certain he could institute a system override.

I was on the treadmill a few minutes after this. All of a sudden, I hear someone yell -- "Yo, my man Gregg!" I look up and there's a guy walking towards me. I don't recognize him. He gives me a NBA introduction-style handshake. "I'm Darnell."

"I've been watching you," he says. "You've been doing real well on the treadmill. But I want to put more muscle mass on you."

I was really confused. He then said he was a LA Fitness trainer, and that I could have a free training lesson and etc. But what a rather insane way to start a sales pitch. He then said he'd call me so we could set up a training time.

 

The next time I went to the gym, I handed in my ID card for entrance. All of a sudden, Darnell sees me. "Yo, Gregg, I called you man. Call me back about your muscle mass!"

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I want to finally get into an actual, honest-to-goodness weight program this year. I generally work out by myself, so I'd probably gravitate more towards machines.

 

I've been out of the gym for about a month or so, and most of my workouts are just me doing nothing but cardio (elliptical, treadmill, running on a track), but I want to balance myself out a little more.

 

Does anyone have any recommendations for a decent weight machine training program?

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Three sets of 8 to 10, 2 minutes rest between, see how long it goes. If more than 60-75 minutes, cut down on a set from each of the small-muscle exercises (biceps curls, triceps whatever) until it's 60-75 minutes. Would help to know the machines, but nah, not really.

 

If you're a big ol' boy trying to lose weight (and this sounds weird, but it's true), an easy way to save time is to not do ab exercises right now. You can add them later and you have bigger fish to fry at the moment. If you're a really big boy, consider skipping calf exercises, for you probably have some decent calves already from being big.

 

As for personal trainers at gyms, avoid like the plague. They never teach you the real deal, because you don't really need them to do that. Instead, they string you along with stupid crap to keep you on the hook. I'm generally pretty blunt with them. "I wouldn't have a personal trainer if he or she were free, much less pay for one" tends to take the air out of their tires.

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Two other pretty weird things that have happened to me at the gym:

1) I was at one of the two stretching kits. Some dude I have never seen before comes up to the one next to me and immediately says hello. I say hello back. "This is the first time I've been to the gym in nine months!" Oh? "I stopped going after my girlfriend... my ex-girlfriend... broke up with me. I got really depressed and couldn't do a thing. But now I'm back!"

There was a pause.

"But there's something else I want to tell you. I'm going to jail in two weeks!"

Oh?

"I was at a bar thinking of my ex and I had one or two drinks too many. I got into a fender bender right outside. A cop saw me coming out of the bar and made me take a breathalyzer. I was just over the limit and it's my second DUI, so I have to go to jail. But it's fine. It's my fault. Just like everything has been."


2) Don't ask why, but I went into the hot tub. I was joined by a man who looked a lot like modern day Ric Flair. He started talking to me and kept on calling me either "daddy" or "baby."

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Three sets of 8 to 10, 2 minutes rest between, see how long it goes. If more than 60-75 minutes, cut down on a set from each of the small-muscle exercises (biceps curls, triceps whatever) until it's 60-75 minutes. Would help to know the machines, but nah, not really.

 

If you're a big ol' boy trying to lose weight (and this sounds weird, but it's true), an easy way to save time is to not do ab exercises right now. You can add them later and you have bigger fish to fry at the moment. If you're a really big boy, consider skipping calf exercises, for you probably have some decent calves already from being big.

 

As for personal trainers at gyms, avoid like the plague. They never teach you the real deal, because you don't really need them to do that. Instead, they string you along with stupid crap to keep you on the hook. I'm generally pretty blunt with them. "I wouldn't have a personal trainer if he or she were free, much less pay for one" tends to take the air out of their tires.

 

I have enough of a familiarity with most of the machines where I won't embarrass myself or anything, I don't think. I was just looking for more of which particular exercises I should be doing and on which days and that kind of thing.

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Three sets of 8 to 10, 2 minutes rest between, see how long it goes. If more than 60-75 minutes, cut down on a set from each of the small-muscle exercises (biceps curls, triceps whatever) until it's 60-75 minutes. Would help to know the machines, but nah, not really.

 

If you're a big ol' boy trying to lose weight (and this sounds weird, but it's true), an easy way to save time is to not do ab exercises right now. You can add them later and you have bigger fish to fry at the moment. If you're a really big boy, consider skipping calf exercises, for you probably have some decent calves already from being big.

 

As for personal trainers at gyms, avoid like the plague. They never teach you the real deal, because you don't really need them to do that. Instead, they string you along with stupid crap to keep you on the hook. I'm generally pretty blunt with them. "I wouldn't have a personal trainer if he or she were free, much less pay for one" tends to take the air out of their tires.

 

I have enough of a familiarity with most of the machines where I won't embarrass myself or anything, I don't think. I was just looking for more of which particular exercises I should be doing and on which days and that kind of thing.

 

Which machines do you have? Usually a machine routine can be done whole-body unless your place has a billion machines. You could do it 2 or 3 times a week, always taking a day off between lifting sessions.

 

Like: Leg press

Leg extension (these really bother my knees - don't be afraid to omit an exercise if it causes you pain)

Leg curls

Calf raises

Chest press

Row

Pulldown

Shoulder Press

Biceps Curls

Triceps exercise of some sort

 

If you wanna do more, split it up into days: lower body and upper body. You may need to put an upper body exercise or two into lower body day because the days may seem unbalanced. Try the row/pulldown exercises on leg day.

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The next time I went to the gym, I handed in my ID card for entrance. All of a sudden, Darnell sees me. "Yo, Gregg, I called you man. Call me back about your muscle mass!"

I like how Darnell uses the term "muscle mass" in exactly the same way an accountant uses the term "401 k" or a military recruiter uses the term "future."

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Okay here's my situation. When I was a teenager my weight fluctuated over the seasons. I played baseball in high school so during the season I would be in pretty good shape but then I'd fall off and do nothing for months. This got even worse after I graduated high school because I didn't have a job and I was only going to community college. There was a lot of sitting around and playing video games and it was a lot easier to go to Wendy's than make it a point to eat right. During this time I can't even really guess what my weight was but it was well over 200lbs.  It was probably 240lbs as a safe guess.

 

After I graduated from community college and transferred to a 4-year university I started hitting the gym hard and got into pretty good shape again. I was going every day with one of my friends and we pushed one another. Eventually I fell out of it though because he had some personal issues going on and stopped going. I was too tied to the idea that I needed a gym buddy.  

 

About a year and a half ago I made it a real point to start dieting. I did a lot of reading, I bought a digital scale and I've kept up with it because I weigh myself every single morning and have completely cut out bad foods (except on PPV nights or something like that I'll eat whatever). 

 

So, I'm down to 180lbs and I feel good and I've kept up with it but I've never gotten back into the gym and I still don't really exercise outside of going for walks.  What do you think would be a good start?  I'm not really looking to add a lot of muscle but some definition would be nice.  Right now I'm more skinny than muscular.

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Are you prepared to possibly gain a little fat back? Muscle building, except in rare instances with overly large people, requires a caloric surplus. That said, you don't have to go overboard. This requires discipline and a little more skill. If you can figure out a way to determine your bodyfat percentage, that would be helpful.

 

I'd add possibly a couple of chicken breasts or other form of lean protein to what you eat, along with some decent carbs. Try to find a way to add 500 calories to the amount of calories you burn in a day just by existing, called the basal metabolic rate.

 

Check your weight gain. If you add more than 1-2 pounds a week, you're overdoing the food, dial back. When you feel yourself getting overly doughy again (this is where the bodyfat percentage comes in handy), diet back down and start trying to gain weight again. You should notice a slow amount of muscle gain, providing you're lifting weights 2-3 times a week and hitting it with some moxie.

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Okay here's my situation. When I was a teenager my weight fluctuated over the seasons. I played baseball in high school so during the season I would be in pretty good shape but then I'd fall off and do nothing for months. This got even worse after I graduated high school because I didn't have a job and I was only going to community college. There was a lot of sitting around and playing video games and it was a lot easier to go to Wendy's than make it a point to eat right. During this time I can't even really guess what my weight was but it was well over 200lbs.  It was probably 240lbs as a safe guess.

 

After I graduated from community college and transferred to a 4-year university I started hitting the gym hard and got into pretty good shape again. I was going every day with one of my friends and we pushed one another. Eventually I fell out of it though because he had some personal issues going on and stopped going. I was too tied to the idea that I needed a gym buddy.  

 

About a year and a half ago I made it a real point to start dieting. I did a lot of reading, I bought a digital scale and I've kept up with it because I weigh myself every single morning and have completely cut out bad foods (except on PPV nights or something like that I'll eat whatever). 

 

So, I'm down to 180lbs and I feel good and I've kept up with it but I've never gotten back into the gym and I still don't really exercise outside of going for walks.  What do you think would be a good start?  I'm not really looking to add a lot of muscle but some definition would be nice.  Right now I'm more skinny than muscular.

 

I've got a trainer that can help you out with muscle mass.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I just started doing DDP Yoga. Don't really need to lose weight but wanted to change up my usual exercise routine and feel like it would help with some lingering back issues. I'm on week 4 and I can feel the difference. I do it in conjunction with my exercise bike riding and weight lifting and it's helped my back.

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Haven't posted in a while. My overall weight has been pretty stagnant for the past 6-7 months at 195 plus-or-minus, but my body fat is declining. Actually losing mass to get down to 185 (where I probably should be at 15% BF, given my height and build) is going to require a stronger commitment to not drinking beer while I game than I have so far been willing to make.

 

My current regime is 4 days a week in the gym, with a three-day workout rotation (legs/shoulders, chest/biceps, back/triceps). Usually 4x8-12, but occasionally I go for five-by-five with the most I can possibly lift in that position. Last Sunday I let the guy who taught me to lift talk me into doing 10x10 squats at 155 (vs my usual 200 4x8-10). It sucked a lot.

 

I wish like you wouldn't believe that I had started doing this shit at 27 instead of 37.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I got such an awesome phone call from my dumb gym this week.

I got a phone call from a salesperson at LA Fitness. They are having some sort of open house this weekend. "We're going to have all kinds of fun with games and food from SaladWorks." Then he told me to bring guests. "We're going to try and get any of your guests to go so they can join the family."

I definitely do look at my franchise gym as a family.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Officially under 190 for the first time in, shit, since like 2006 or so.  Sadly I think I'm at the point where to burn off that stubborn layer of ass/waist fat which is still keeping me from looking sweet I'm going to have to add muscle which mean FUCKING WEIGHT TRAINGIN AUUUGH!! The worst. 

 

An upside is that I have so little muscle now that I can almost count pulling up both my socks at the same time as "deadlift."

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