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Sept Wrestling Jibber Jabber Thread

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I want a 3MB and 3 Count feud where the winner gets to keep the number 3.

 

Tank Abbott interferes and breaks his green square over McIntyre's head to give 3 Count the win and then we get a Behind The Music-style documentary about the break up of 3MB where it ends with McIntyre getting kicked out of the group and turning face.  Then Slater compares himself and Mahal to duos like Simon & Garfunkel, Hall & Oates, and Elvis & Costello.  Then they do a "Who's On First" bit where Mahal tries to correct Slater and tell him he's thinking of Abbott & Costello and Slater tells him he doesn't want to mess with Tank Abbott anymore.

 

Entrance music: Vince buys the rights to use De La Soul's "The Magic Number."  "Three, that's the magic number/ Yes it is/ It's the magic number/ Somewhere in this sports entertainment community/ was born 3 - Heath, Drew and me, it's the magic number (wikka wikka what does it all mean)*"

 

*Assumes Jinder Mahal is on the mic.

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 I wonder what a Warren Ellis TNA would be like.  Other than the most fucking awesometacular .8 rated wrestling show EVAR!!!

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I think these TV writers are a waste of time, and comic book writers would really get the eyeballz.

Getting Brian Michael Bendis and Ed Brubaker would be fantastic. Wrestling is a live-action comic book anyway.I had this weird dream awhile back about WWE being guest-written for like a month at a time. For example, what would a month of WWE look like written by Aaron Sorkin?...I was pretty low on sleep when I had this idea.
I would rather see writers i know who are also longtime fans and known for good comics: Steven Grant, Evan Dorkin, Jill Thompson, ...

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I want Grant Morrison. Flex Mentallo running roughshod over everyone, Cena being taken out by a God Bullet, HHH and the Good for Business Gang versus the Invisibles, Dean Ambrose forming the Brotherhood of Dada with AJ, Big E and Roman Reigns in a gimp suit. Only me and 10 other people would be watching after a month, but it would be glorious.

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Less geek speak, more rassle talk, please and thanks.

I

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Like wrestling fans aren't giant nerds anyway.

 

Raven's Spider-Man comic was nice

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Rob Liefeld gets a job with creative and suddenly The Sheid's gear becomes nothing but pouches.

Well let's be honest. Ambrose's gear was way better when he had pouches. 

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Dan Didio gets the book and insists that everyone must return to earlier, iconic personas.  Cena must go back to being the Doctor of Thuganomics.  Mark Henry must return to his Sexual Chocolate roots.  Tensai is once again Albert.  And it's a good thing Cena and Orton got divorces because no WWE Superstar should be married.

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The old WCW comic was great. Especially the final issue where Vader crushed Sting. 

 

I enjoyed seeing Ron Wilson get the hand of drawing wrestlers. You can tell the point when he started watching WCW on TV. The wrestlers became more dynamic and the moves were more spot on. As a kid when the Ghoul was revealed as the man who trained Sting, I was already reading magazines so my response was "Rick Bassman was the Ghoul?"

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Anyone with a F4W sub want to please let me know how RAW faired last night against the NFL?  I'll give ya a cookie!

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Anyone with a F4W sub want to please let me know how RAW faired last night against the NFL?  I'll give ya a cookie!

 

 

Raw held up well against a strong Monday Night Football opener with the Philadelphia Eagles vs. Washington Redksins that did 16.52 million viewers.Raw did 3.92 million viewers, almost identical with last week's Labor Day mark.The three hours were3.89 million3.90 million3.95 millionThe notable thing is the first hour was in normal range, the second hour was way down. The third hour went against a weaker Houston vs. San Diego game (10.95 million) so it rose slightly even though the usual pattern is a third hour decline.

Now where's my fucking cookie!

 

...And it better not be a fucking oatmeal cookie.

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Rob Liefeld gets a job with creative and suddenly The Sheid's gear becomes nothing but pouches.

 

While their heads shrink and their feet disappear completely.

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Rob Liefeld gets a job with creative and suddenly The Sheid's gear becomes nothing but pouches.

 

So they all dress like Seth Rollins again.

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So, when I brought up the comic book writer analogy, my point wasn't really that better writers would do a better job, but rather the opposite.  I'm pretty certain that they could bring in Cormac McCarthy to do the Wyatt Family and all the technical wrestlers, Margaret Atwood to do the Divas division, Dave Chappelle to do the comedy acts, and a reincarnated William Shakespeare to do the main event angles and it would still be the same show.

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...you think their comedy is as funny as Chappelle's show and the main events Shakespearean? hmm..man I think they are doing alright nowadays but that's, well, a bit crazy to me. Maybe I misinterpreted that.

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I think he's saying it doesn't matter who writes it.  It all comes down to what Vince and Co. at the top want.

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I think, to refer to the discussion awhile back, that WWE has the talent for a brand split, but for whatever reason, they have almost no interest in booking the midcard in a fashion other than having really awesome guys that the crowd wants to get behind trade wins for months on end until no one cares about them. 

 

I think that the talent is there to sustain one main event feud, a tag team feud or two, and three or four midcard feuds per show. Given the chance, I think the crowd would get behind a lot of guys that aren't getting steady enough pushes right now. 

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I wonder what a Warren Ellis TNA would be like. Other than the most fucking awesometacular .8 rated wrestling show EVAR!!!

It would be hard to see what's happening in the ring through all the cigarette smoke.

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I think, to refer to the discussion awhile back, that WWE has the talent for a brand split, but for whatever reason, they have almost no interest in booking the midcard in a fashion other than having really awesome guys that the crowd wants to get behind trade wins for months on end until no one cares about them. 

 

I think that the talent is there to sustain one main event feud, a tag team feud or two, and three or four midcard feuds per show. Given the chance, I think the crowd would get behind a lot of guys that aren't getting steady enough pushes right now. 

 

this is it. the fans aren't given a reason to care, and then the wrestlers are punished because the fans don't care about them.

 

i'm not sure at what point it happened, but sometime in the last 10 years, the midcard became disposable. Outside of the main event roles, any wrestler can be plugged into any open slot on the roster with very few changes (if any) made. Nobody's feuding with anyone over anything, guys are just wrestling for no real reason. Apathy breeds apathy.

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Aw, I didn't see this so if I step on someone's shine I apologize:

 

Comic writers take over booking wrestling.

 

Then, Pillman, Guerrero and Benoit come back.

 

... now I'm bummed.

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I missed Raw but read about the Cesaro big swing in the Raw thread while I was at work today. Words do not do it justice. This was one of the first times in recent memory that the WWE crowd has been completely justified in chanting holy shit.

 

 

I think, to refer to the discussion awhile back, that WWE has the talent for a brand split, but for whatever reason, they have almost no interest in booking the midcard in a fashion other than having really awesome guys that the crowd wants to get behind trade wins for months on end until no one cares about them. 

 

I think that the talent is there to sustain one main event feud, a tag team feud or two, and three or four midcard feuds per show. Given the chance, I think the crowd would get behind a lot of guys that aren't getting steady enough pushes right now. 

 

I agree with you on the way that the midcard is currently booked, so I liked your post for that reason, but I'm not sure they could have three to four midcard feuds per show. 

 

If they were to hypothetically do a brand split again, even if only for house show purposes, I think they would need to do the following to even out the rosters a bit:

 

  • Bring up Ohno, PAC, Zayn, maybe Mason Ryan and whoever else in NXT who may be ready-ish
  • Pepper in some vets who can still go like Regal, Dustin, or the New Age Outlaws.
  • Bring in former undercard guys or whatever remaining indy "names" that aren't signed anywhere: London & Kendrick, Shelton Benjamin, MVP, Rhyno, Low Ki, Carlito, Chris Masters, Trevor Murdoch, Harry Smith, Jay Lethal, Alex Shelley.. dudes like that
  • Start rolling the dice on the likes of Tatsu, 3MB, Ryder. Even if they're being jobbed the fuck out, at least they're on TV and they're being given a story.

 

Some days, I wish the brand split was still in effect because it gave more purpose to the WHC and the US titles, and more time to the women and tag teams. Then others, I think its a hare brained, silly ass idea, that had no right to even exist as long as it did.

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