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Great characters in bad movies


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Sofia in Godfather III was terrible, though. Utterly terrible. 

 

A good director? Of course. But as an actress? Embarrassing. Utterly embarrassing. One of two times I've truly found myself cringing at the screen and feeling bad for the people who had to put on a straight face and act alongside this person. Gina Carano in Fast Six was the other one.   

 

The scenes between her and Pacino must be fascinating for any acting student to watch simply for the stunning gap in talent.

 

Admittedly, the plot was shitty, too.

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Her final line is delivered so poorly that it almost ruins the finish of the movie. Almost, thank god you have Pacino howling like a heartbroken madman (in a context which actually justifies his overacting for once) to save things.

Sofia was indeed absolutely terrible. She was simply not an actor, period, and there's nothing Francis could do to cover that up. Her lack of other major acting roles is a big indicator of how little experience she had (although IMDB hilariously claims that she was one of Queen Padme's handmaidens in The Phantom Menace and oh GOD I have never wanted more for any rumor ever to be true).

For those who don't know the story, Sofia was a desperate last-minute choice by a director who'd run out of time and options. Originally it was supposed to be Julia Roberts in the part, but she dropped out; Madonna lobbied for it, but Coppola didn't want her; they were in talks with poor Rebecca Schaeffer, but that's when she got murdered; and finally it was supposed to be Winona Ryder, but she quit the production (once filming had already started) and there wasn't another backup pick. Coppola was all "fuck it, I can direct ANYONE, this'll work!" and shoved his own non-professional-performer daughter into the part.

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Her final line is delivered so poorly that it almost ruins the finish of the movie. Almost, thank god you have Pacino howling like a heartbroken madman (in a context which actually justifies his overacting for once) to save things.

 

Pacino howling while the Cavalleria Rusticana piece plays in the background always damn near kills me, I must admit.

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For those who don't know the story, Sofia was a desperate last-minute choice by a director who'd run out of time and options. Originally it was supposed to be Julia Roberts in the part, but she dropped out; Madonna lobbied for it, but Coppola didn't want her; they were in talks with poor Rebecca Schaeffer, but that's when she got murdered; and finally it was supposed to be Winona Ryder, but she quit the production (once filming had already started) and there wasn't another backup pick. Coppola was all "fuck it, I can direct ANYONE, this'll work!" and shoved his own non-professional-performer daughter into the part.

 

Eh, I don't think anyone ever bought Coppola's "I had no choice but to cast her!" excuse. Like, yeah, dude. You could have found a suitable, technically competent performer at the last minute. Hollywood is full of skilled young actresses who would have jumped on the plane in nano-seconds for the chance to be a Godfather film. But you simply wanted to cast your daughter instead. 

 

Sofia in Godfather Part III taught me something about nepotism in Hollywood, though. Burton got away with casting Helena Bonham Carter in all his movies. Blatant as it was. Frances McDormand can be in several Coen brothers movies and no one blinks an eye. Because, you know, those women are truly good actresses.

 

Nepotism is acceptable enough. But if someone's a terrible actor...eh, the audiences can be very unforgiving. 

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Almost, thank god you have Pacino howling like a heartbroken madman (in a context which actually justifies his overacting for once) to save things.

 

 

Godfather Part III was one of the few times I thought Pacino's OVERACTING~! was actually justified. 

 

Like, I said. It's a tragic Shakespearean theatre performance. Only made for cinema.

 

He had to be over the top. 

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Burton got away with casting Helena Bonham Carter in all his movies. Blatant as it was.

Actually, I see younger people online whining about that all the time. "Waaah, Burton put his shitty wife in another fucking movie!" And they never ever have a good excuse when called on their bullshit, as to why we should all have LESS Helena Bonham Carter in our lives.
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Burton got away with casting Helena Bonham Carter in all his movies. Blatant as it was.

Actually, I see younger people online whining about that all the time. "Waaah, Burton put his shitty wife in another fucking movie!" And they never ever have a good excuse when called on their bullshit, as to why we should all have LESS Helena Bonham Carter in our lives.
Yeah, I've never understood that either. There are a variety of valid reasons to shit on Tim Burton. I don't find that to be one of them. Nobody goes after Joel Coen when Frances McDormand shows up a Coen Brother film because that would be stupid.

I mean Sidney Lumet cast his awful daughter in Q&A and that's way more egregious from a performance standpoint than anything Helena Bonham Carter did while she was still with Burton.

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Admittedly, Carter wasn't a great singer in Sweeney Todd and her whole "I beat out 200 singers for the role!" spiel comes off as a bit disingenuous.  (Genuinely, she claimed that in a Guardian interview I read.)

 

But, yeah: She's talented and suits Burton's dark, quirky, gothic style, so it usually worked. But if he'd been dating Megan Fox instead? Yeah, no one would have put up with it.

 

It's like Shane McMahon still being on WWE TV. Yeah, it's nepotism. But Shane is cool and can talk and is willing to take the bumps so... everyone is sorta fine with it. 

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It's like Shane McMahon still being on WWE TV. Yeah, it's nepotism. But Shane is cool and can talk and is willing to take the bumps so... everyone is sorta fine with it. 

 

So why's everyone OK with Steph still being on there?

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Ramrod in Vice Squad is maybe the most detestable villain in film history, save for Hitler or somebody.

(BTW, I tried to post this pretty much verbatim earlier today, maybe I didn't hit 'post' or somebody deleted it? Oh well)

The old black mechanic in Vice Squad is also great.

"500 don't get you no Eldorado!"

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The whole film is so incredibly sleazy that I don't know how you can't love it. It's like Abel Ferrara and Larry Cohen got together to make a movie and neither of them could win the argument on how to write and direct it so they both took turns. With Frank Henenlotter as guest advisor, maybe.

 

EDIT: Nah, forget Hennenlotter... Bill Lustig. Definitely Bill Lustig.

 

EDIT II: Oh shit! I had no idea Gary Sherman (Raw Meat, Dead & Buried, Poltergeist III) directed Vice Squad. Awesome!

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It's like Shane McMahon still being on WWE TV. Yeah, it's nepotism. But Shane is cool and can talk and is willing to take the bumps so... everyone is sorta fine with it. 

 

So why's everyone OK with Steph still being on there?

 

 

 

Are they?

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It's like Shane McMahon still being on WWE TV. Yeah, it's nepotism. But Shane is cool and can talk and is willing to take the bumps so... everyone is sorta fine with it. 

 

So why's everyone OK with Steph still being on there?

 

 

I don't know. I can't quite put my finger on it.

 

n7nRNlG.gif

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