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The "This is How Not to Cut a Fucking Promo" Thread - New Board Edition

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I was the biggest Hulkamaniac ever from age 4-12. But by the time he rolled into WCW and treated Flair like a whipping boy, the cartoony promos by a skinny and aging Hulkster off the juice just became lame. It grew into disdain. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

 

People who grew up with Hulk as the hero grew out of it. And early 1996 was the epitome of my "WHY AM I CHEERING THIS GUY?" conflict. He single-handedly holds off 12 members of the Alliance to End Hulkamania. Monsters galore fall prey to lame chairshots to the back. Yeesh.

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I was the biggest Hulkamaniac ever from age 4-12. But by the time he rolled into WCW and treated Flair like a whipping boy, the cartoony promos by a skinny and aging Hulkster off the juice just became lame. It grew into disdain. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

 

People who grew up with Hulk as the hero grew out of it. And early 1996 was the epitome of my "WHY AM I CHEERING THIS GUY?" conflict. He single-handedly holds off 12 members of the Alliance to End Hulkamania. Monsters galore fall prey to lame chairshots to the back. Yeesh.

 

When he talks about WCW in his next autobiography, he'll still lie and inflate the numbers.  It'll be 37 on 1 by then.

 

Because, y'know, one guy going over just 12 guys isn't ridiculous enough for Hogan's Paul Bunyan-esque personality,

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Best thing was of all those guys, he pinned Flair, who was WCW champion at the time.

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And he apparently DESPERATELY wanted Pillman in the match.

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And he apparently DESPERATELY wanted Pillman in the match.

 

But Pillman was smart enough not to do it.

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I admit, I dug Lotts.  I'm a sucker for those "you brought this on yourself" style promos.  I also liked Sid's "please forgive me for what I'm about to do" one-liners.

 

That AJ promo:  I think some of the blame for that thing falling flat was the ending, where AJ's worked himself up into his emphatic declaration that he will be the NEXT TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, for Taz to shit on the previous 5 min with, "I hope not!"  Heel or no, Taz shit on that promo for the TV audience.

 

And as for fans screwing up promos and in-ring monologues, I think any argument on the "FOR" side can be ended with a clip of Bret Hart's return commentary after Owen died, where he's talking about his thoughts and plans for how he's going to continue on in the business that basically killed his brother, and some fan clear as a bell shouts, "HURRY UP!"  You can see the love for wrestling poot out of Bret Hart's soul in that one moment; that's when, to bring this full circle, wrestling became, as AJ said in his promo, "just a job."

 

(Tried to post the youtube video, but couldn't ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbw6efV5iXI at 6:50 is the asshole in question ...)

Edited by nate

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I watch GWF on ESPN Classics every now and then and also Championship Wrestling From Hollywood, and I've seen enough bad promos to flood this thread....and that's just in the last week or so!

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I have not looked at a single post in here. But I know my man AntiChrist better be in here when I click this reply button

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One of my favorite terrible promos of all time.  From aping The Rock's shtick to getting caught up in the "Whats" this is a master class in what not to do in a promo.

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I cut Juvi a little slack on that one solely for "Fuck you, you son of a gun!"

 

Brilliant.

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I cut Juvi a little slack on that one solely for "Fuck you, you son of a gun!"

 

Brilliant.

 

Yes, I believe this promo belongs in the 'Awesome Promos' thread. 

 

Juvi was hellbent on calling everyone there a jobroni, and the crowd chanting "what" didn't stop him. 

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I'd like to know, TO TRULY KNOW, how Ken Patera wasn't able to talk his way into that McDonald's when he had such superior oratory skills as was showcased in the profession of professional wrestling, BOY!

 

Patera said other workers were in the building and laughing at Ken for being locked out.  I assume Ken was pilled up/drunk and not in the right state of mind.  Patera took the court case so seriously that he was outside the court house drinking beer right before sentencing.

 

  Here's the worst Road Warrior promo ever

 

Piper/Dr D being racist...then Hogan botches a promo and Mean Gene won't let him restart it.

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What about Matt Hardy's return promo?

 

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 Piper/Dr D being racist...then Hogan botches a promo and Mean Gene won't let him restart it.

 

 

Gene was probably thinking "Fuck that, I'm not going to stand here and listen to round two of Dr. D's bullshit."

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I cut Juvi a little slack on that one solely for "Fuck you, you son of a gun!"

 

Brilliant.

 

My favorite part is the announcer only saying, "watch your language" after he said "son of a gun". I'm patiently waiting for my chance to say "fuck you, you son of a gun" to someone, anyone in my life.

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What I'd like to see is a DVDVR promo battle tournament.

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I watch GWF on ESPN Classics every now and then and also Championship Wrestling From Hollywood, and I've seen enough bad promos to flood this thread....and that's just in the last week or so!

just a small list of people who should never do a promo from that company: Tug Taylor, Chaz Taylor, The Viper, Steven Dane, any Black Bart promo where he doesn't say Dadgum (oh wait there isn't any), Al Perez

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