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The "This is How Not to Cut a Fucking Promo" Thread - New Board Edition

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Ladies and Gentlemen, "The Prince"http://youtu.be/J3MkuJdfPw4?t=1m31s

 

My goodness.  His delivery wasn't terrible, but he was not being a STAR.

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Jesus Christ that was something. What promotion was that for and how the fuck did that make air?

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Jesus Christ that was something. What promotion was that for and how the fuck did that make air?

 

Women's Championship Wrestling.  I have no idea when - or if - that promotion got off the ground.  Never been able to find results or anything else from the promotion.  The Prince promo in that video (and the one before it) are from a commercial VHS tape called "Best of Women's Championship Wrestling - Vol. 1".  All the footatge I've ever seen from that promotion comes from that tape.  They advertise Vol. 2 at the end of the tape, but I don't know that it ever came out.

 

The promoter (whose name escapes me at the moment) went on to promote :LPWA.

 

Most of the promos on the tape are racist, misogynistic, or homophobic.  It's really a nasty, amateurish production.

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Can't let the thread get too far without this classic:

 

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 And who the fuck wears a bolo tie and a skinny tie at the same time?

Proto-hipster?

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Just came across this on Youtube.  I saw this when it aired and forgot all about it.

 

From International World Class Championship .Wrestling out of Boston, Vic Steamboat.... tells a story on the air.  Tells a story in the most relaxed, boring manner possible.  I'm not sure how this would make me want to see him wrestle.  It does sort of make me want to hear him read a book on tape, preferably late at night when I'm trying to fall asleep.  If nothing else, Victor has a very soothing voice (really, that and a good physique were about all Victor had going for him)

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKzn8yHxhEY

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And don't forget awesome hair.

 

But yeah, Ricky got most of the talent in that family.

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IIRC, Vic ain't related.

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I don't know how bad these are, per se, but they always make me laugh my ass off for all the wrong reasons, so I thought these should be included:

 

 

 

 

This I've never seen before, but found just by YouTubing "worst wrestling promo":

 

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I'd like to know, TO TRULY KNOW, how Ken Patera wasn't able to talk his way into that McDonald's when he had such superior oratory skills as was showcased in the profession of professional wrestling, BOY!

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That Hogan strap promo isn't too bad but who the hell came up with that name for the match?  Just call it a strap match.  I do love hearing Hogan say "a-cha" every time he swings the strap at the floor.  Also, I'd love one of those yellow on red Hulkster shirts for the gym.  The yellow letters really stand out.

 

The Prince doesn't look so good looking, btw.  Maybe that was the idea, I don't know. 

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He looks exactly like you'd expect some sniveling rat bastard 80's teen movie bad guy to look when he grows up and becomes an investment banker or hedge fund manager.

 

Or a manager in the greatest shitty pro wrestling company ever.

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That Hogan strap promo isn't too bad but who the hell came up with that name for the match?  

 

According to Kevin Sullivan in his End of WCW DVD from Kayfabe Commentaries, he says it was all Hogan

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That Hogan strap match promo was great. It sounded like a real wrestling promo and not thirty hours of lame back and forth. He said he intended on cutting Flair up and peeling his hide off with the strap. I remember Jericho shit on it in 2000. Which I guess is because it did not have enough jokes and one liners in it. 

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In a vacuum, that Hogan promo is perfectly acceptable. It's just that WCW was going to hell in a handbasket around it.

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It was a cheesy Hogan promo years after people had tired of cheesy Hogan promos.

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Sorry, but the thing bothered me most about the AJ promo was the fucking audience. "YES!" at a TNA show. That's like that one indy show with Mr. Belding where the faces started doing WWE catchphrases. It's fucking stupid. The promo was just fine. It's pretty compelling and energetic throughout. Why would that go in this thread? There are some suck ass promos in wrestling history.

How are those two things anything alike? Are the fans workers now? Is it fans job to get the show over? If you're gonna complain about fans chanting shit to amuse themselves well I'm afraid that ship sailed like 15 years ago. 

 

Oh god. Oh god god god. Were you part of those old debates about dueling chants and ROH fans constantly trying to put themselves over and not even watching rhe ring anymore? Are the fans workers now. I didn't say anything of the sort. I can lament the abundance of self-indulgent marks and it doesn't mean I'm saying fans need to behave in a specific way.

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It was a cheesy Hogan promo years after people had tired of cheesy Hogan promos.

More one liners.Cheesy is basically code for "really awesome, but I'm too self conscious".

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So the real reason the WCW crowd turned on Hogan before his turn was because they were too self-conscious? 

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Because he was squashing Flair, Vader and other long time favorites.

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