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Absurd (sequel of Anthropophagus/The Grim Reaper by Joe D'Amato) was on Night Flight Plus so I gave it a spin. It only took four sittings to finish! Like Anthropophagus this one was declared a Video Nasty in Britain for no reason because it's hardly bloodier than a Friday the 13th film, and far more boring and with less of a body count. Basically we're introduced to George Eastman, who played the mysterious baddie in the first one, being chased by a Greek priest and he impales himself on a fence thus leaving him to drag his guts around. They take him to the hospital and he has Wolverine type healing powers so he escapes and kills some people. And he goes to a house with a bedridden young woman, she stabs his eyes out and cuts his head off. The End. I watched this in double speed towards the end because there were scenes involving a blind man chasing a crippled girl down a hallway. ENDLESSLY. There were also scenes of a group of people standing around all eating spaghetti while watching the 49ers play. This was what they cobbled together and called a film. 

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Absurd actually reuses the soundtrack from Pieces. It's actually kind of jarring if you've seen Pieces as many times as I have. The music played in the trailer is the only thing that isn't recycled from Pieces. Actually Pieces was released two years later so I guess it's the one that recycled music from Absurd. It just doesn't seem that way if you've already seen Pieces two dozen times and only recently watched Absurd for the first time. Also their idea of a Super Bowl party doesn't really work. The housekeeper is left alone at the house with the kids while the parents attend a Super Bowl party.  I find the lathe drill kill in Absurd to be highly inferior to the one in City of The Living Dead. I guess this was alright. I forgot exactly how the blind girl was so easily able to saw off the big freak's head but it was ridiculous.

I've watched Silent Rage a few times in the last month, which also has a Wolverine-like Michael Myers rip-off killer. Silent Rage does have a Rifftrax, even though I still laugh at plenty of shit in it even without the Rifftrax. Chuck Norris's love scenes with the mafioso's daughter from The Wanderers are almost as weird as that goofy Super Bowl spaghetti supper in Absurd. Silent Rage has a cool theme but I must warn you that there are also scenes of Chuck Norris mellowing out in his apartment to imitation Steely Dan muzak.

The only change-up is that instead of being pursued by a Loomis figure priest, Ron Silver kind of plays that same basic role as the nut's doctor before he got killed and resurrected, but the other doctor (who basically resurrects him with Weapon X serum) is very protective of his monster. The whole experimental medical facility in Silent Rage is kind of like the hospital in The Beyond, where physicians also help out by performing autopsies. Even though Silver is a psychiatrist, he gets to help operate on his psycho patient after the cops shoot him the first time.  The arguments between Silver and the mad doctor over the moral and ethic dilemma of turning a dead loon into an invincible monster are as funny as the arguments in Winterbeast between the lodge owner and head park ranger.

Edited by FluffSnackwell
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I watched "Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare" this weekend.

I was not ready.

My immediate reaction and totally stream-of-consciousness impression of the whole thing:  It started off with lots of driving exposition.  Then talking.  Some rocking.  Sexual innuendos.  More rocking.  Some dude gets killed by a demon/monster.  More rocking.  Some fucking.  The dead dude is back to terrorize some groupies who we never see again.  More rocking.  The drummer is possessed, and he kills his girlfriend through the promise of fucking by a lake.  The keyboardist and guitarist have an extended sexual encounter, are interrupted by some random kid, and I forgot that there was a brief scene at the beginning where a family gerts killed.  A guy named Thor fucks in the shower.  Thor then goes to write his magnum metal ops "Edge of Hell", and the devil shows up.  Thor displays an unhealthy knowledge of Satanic lore, far beyond what I would deem normal for even the guys in Slayer.  Then, holy shit, THERE'S SUDDENLY A WHOLE FAMILY OF LITTLE PENIS PUPPETS!!!  AND THOR IS IN A LEAHTER THONG BEDAZZLED WITH SPIKES!!!  AND HE HAS ON EYELINER!!!  AND HE'S SLAPBOXING SEVEN FOOT SATAN LIKE LITTLE MAC FIGHTING SODA POPINSKI!!!  AND SATAN THROWS NINJA STARS MADE OUT OF THE PENIS PUPPETS!!!  AND THOR LAID THIS PLAN OUT ALL ALONG TO TRAP SATAN ... wait ... he says he built this plan to trap Satan by populating this whole thing with souls that would draw out Satan like bait, but he based the characters on horror movies characters.  "I've been alone the whole time."  Dude, you had an extended sex scene in the shower; so you were just writhing and gyrating by yourself in the shower, and you created these scenarios where all your bandmates are pairing off, and there was the owner of the home you rented, and who drove the van?  And Thor chokes Satan, who explodes, presumably killing the penis puppet family.

And then the movie was over.

I'm not entirely sure this didn't begin life as an advertisement for Coca-Cola.

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Despite my deep knowledge of heavy metal I am surprisingly out in the cold as to the career of Jon Mikl Thor. I think he used to blow up water bottles with only his lungs or something? Time has not been fair to him. 

Keep_the_Dogs_Away.jpg

from this to this:

1298004440442_ORIGINAL.jpg?size=650x

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Basically he morphed from Jon Mikl Thor into some strange hybrid of Guy Fieri and Jon Rhys-Davies, which is oddly fitting since Davies played the Kingpin in The Trial of the Incredible Hulk 1989 TV Movie, which also featured Thor. Correction: After doing a search, Thor was actually in the previous year's The Incredible Hulk Returns, which didn't feature Kingpin as the villain. Daredevil is in both of them though, which is probably what combined them in my head. I just recently saw the last half hour of Returns on ConTV and I was wondering where the hell Kingpin was.

Edited by FluffSnackwell
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 months later...

Sorry to unstake this thread, but I really don't know if this fits anywhere else.

I binged the Fantomas '60s trilogy this weekend, and I totally dug it.  Can anyone recommend other films like those?

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I'm just gonna leave this here as it comes recommended as a New York sleaze picture of the highest caliber. The real name is The Tenement, AKA Game of Survival (which this video is titled), AKA Slaughter in the South Bronx. This is one of the only films rated X solely for violence by the MPAA. Of course there is also a nasty rape scene but you probably expected that. Here's the trailer: 

Now THAT is Grindhouse. And very NSFW but most of you probably aren't watching from "work" anyway

This also features Dan Snow (Cigar Face from The Toxic Avenger) and Paul Calderon (from King of New York/Bad Lieutenant/Pulp Fiction [the bartender] etc.)

Edited by Curt McGirt
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  • 2 weeks later...

"Yeti, Giant of the 20th Century" is the best film I've seen under lockdown so far.  Shit made me smile.

Below is the disco theme, with montage that may just be the entire film.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Cinematic Void is a film promoter in Los Angeles that does screenings of a lot of oddball 70s and 80s horror, sci-fi, and general WTF bonkers insanity, and once the quarantine kicked in here in Los Angeles, they started doing Friday night Youtube streams. The whole thing got off to a promising start with the 1985 teen horror romp TV movie MIDNIGHT HOUR, but the last two weeks were the mostly dull and insipid PLANET OF THE DINOSAURS (1977) and the mostly dull and sleazy Umberto Lenzi slasher pic HITCHER IN THE DARK (1989).

But tonight, holy shit they made up for the last two weeks tenfold. I knew literally nothing about NIGHT OF THE DEMON (1980), other than I guessed that it had something to do with the Bigfoot urban legend due to some clues Cinematic Void had teased on social media and during last week's presentation. This movie shows very quickly why it ended up on the infamous video nasty list, and shows it plenty of other times throughout the movie. It starts out as a Friday The 13th-esque "people get killed in the woods" slasher but instead of Jason it's Bigfoot, and then halfway through it gets really fucking weird but in a way where the kills end up becoming way more bonkers as well.

A friend in a group chat at the end of the movie summed it up as "The Aristocrats joke of Bigfoot movies" and I really couldn't argue with that.

Link to their "screening" of NIGHT OF THE DEMON is below. I also highly recommend the posting of MIDNIGHT HOUR on March 27th for something a bit more light-hearted and whimsical.

 

 

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This is probably the thread where I should ask the following questions:

1. Is the STRAY CAT ROCK series worth a watch?

2. Which of the Pam Grier women in prison films is the best?

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  • 1 month later...

There is no better line of dialog to bump into when watching a movie than this:

Guy: "We'll never catch them this way. We'll have to cut through the Forbidden Zone."

Other Guy: "The Forbidden Zone?"

Me: oH, shit...

 

alternate version:

Guy: "We'll never catch them this way. We'll have to cut through the Forbidden Zone."

Other Guy: "The Forbidden Zone? You seriously named it the Forbidden Zone? Like, you couldn't be more helpful like "he don't go here because there are giant spiders zone or the If you touch the water here you will turn into a blob of flesh"zone??

 

Note; The particular movie in question tonight where this line was spoken was the Roger Corman/Cirio Santiago post-apocalypse movie THE SISTERHOOD and in this particular case the Forbidden zone was forbidden because of

Spoiler

radioactive mutant cannibals

and

Spoiler

an abandoned underground missile base

Does anyone know of a comprehensive list of movies where there is an explicitly named Forbidden Zone?

 

Also note:

 

Watch The Sisterhood.  It's really fun. 

MV5BMDljNTEyZDItOTdlNy00YjMwLWJkYWYtZDMx

 

Yes, there's a lot of "We have no money so drive these shitty cars around in this rock quarry."  But there's also a neat feminist (for 1988) plot and some fairly complicated (for a Mad Max ripoff) characters and that ice skating lady from FOR YOUR EYES ONLY who talks to a hawk. Plus witches, swords, grenade launchers, Robert Patrick's wife, a bad guy with a conscience who is driven by a somewhat sympathetic back story but is still pretty bad, 100s of Filipino extras pretending to be mercenaries, zombies, cultists, and various other factions,

 

the guy from Automan:

81w0rw5LFmL.jpg

The Lady from Knight Rider, a tank (and other various military equipment rented from the Filipino army for $40/day), a great synth score, driving, horseback riding, more driving, rocks....lots and lots of rocks, one badass um...dune trike???? (I don't know motorcycle stuff), various other jalopy "war wagons", a Forbidden Zone, A Hall of the Sisterhood, A High Priestess, gratuitous boobs, the hunters becoming the hunted, a guy named "Lord Crack" (I think??? doing a Dennis Hopper impression), a dungeon full of sexy witches (which is really just a problem waiting to happen), literally a full platoon of the Filipino army in their uniforms moonlighting as Lord Crack's guys, a giant lady force ghost-ex-machina, and cetera.

 

The baddies:

sisterhood2big.jpg

 

The Goodies:

 

maxresdefault.jpg

 

A talking hawk:

 

MV5BOTUwMDg5YzUtZjk3NS00N2FjLTg3M2MtMjRi

 

I give it:

 

Spoiler

Three "Guys who look like femme Flea and run a lady-slave encampment" out of three

vlcsnap-2016-01-27-19h43m37s099.png

vlcsnap-2016-01-27-19h43m37s099.png

vlcsnap-2016-01-27-19h43m37s099.png

 

 

All hail, Lord Crack.

Edited by piranesi
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