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Absurd (sequel of Anthropophagus/The Grim Reaper by Joe D'Amato) was on Night Flight Plus so I gave it a spin. It only took four sittings to finish! Like Anthropophagus this one was declared a Video Nasty in Britain for no reason because it's hardly bloodier than a Friday the 13th film, and far more boring and with less of a body count. Basically we're introduced to George Eastman, who played the mysterious baddie in the first one, being chased by a Greek priest and he impales himself on a fence thus leaving him to drag his guts around. They take him to the hospital and he has Wolverine type healing powers so he escapes and kills some people. And he goes to a house with a bedridden young woman, she stabs his eyes out and cuts his head off. The End. I watched this in double speed towards the end because there were scenes involving a blind man chasing a crippled girl down a hallway. ENDLESSLY. There were also scenes of a group of people standing around all eating spaghetti while watching the 49ers play. This was what they cobbled together and called a film. 

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How was the soundtrack?  I remember the soundtrack for Anthropophagus being amazing.

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It's pretty good, not as good as I remember Reaper's being. Gets pretty repetitive when the film does, though. 

This might've been more enjoyable if it was Rifftrax'd. Or if you have some weed.

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Absurd actually reuses the soundtrack from Pieces. It's actually kind of jarring if you've seen Pieces as many times as I have. The music played in the trailer is the only thing that isn't recycled from Pieces. Actually Pieces was released two years later so I guess it's the one that recycled music from Absurd. It just doesn't seem that way if you've already seen Pieces two dozen times and only recently watched Absurd for the first time. Also their idea of a Super Bowl party doesn't really work. The housekeeper is left alone at the house with the kids while the parents attend a Super Bowl party.  I find the lathe drill kill in Absurd to be highly inferior to the one in City of The Living Dead. I guess this was alright. I forgot exactly how the blind girl was so easily able to saw off the big freak's head but it was ridiculous.

I've watched Silent Rage a few times in the last month, which also has a Wolverine-like Michael Myers rip-off killer. Silent Rage does have a Rifftrax, even though I still laugh at plenty of shit in it even without the Rifftrax. Chuck Norris's love scenes with the mafioso's daughter from The Wanderers are almost as weird as that goofy Super Bowl spaghetti supper in Absurd. Silent Rage has a cool theme but I must warn you that there are also scenes of Chuck Norris mellowing out in his apartment to imitation Steely Dan muzak.

The only change-up is that instead of being pursued by a Loomis figure priest, Ron Silver kind of plays that same basic role as the nut's doctor before he got killed and resurrected, but the other doctor (who basically resurrects him with Weapon X serum) is very protective of his monster. The whole experimental medical facility in Silent Rage is kind of like the hospital in The Beyond, where physicians also help out by performing autopsies. Even though Silver is a psychiatrist, he gets to help operate on his psycho patient after the cops shoot him the first time.  The arguments between Silver and the mad doctor over the moral and ethic dilemma of turning a dead loon into an invincible monster are as funny as the arguments in Winterbeast between the lodge owner and head park ranger.

Edited by FluffSnackwell
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Goddammit I KNEW that soundtrack was instantly familiar! I've seen Pieces plenty of times. 

Silent Rage really let me down enough to where I gave it to a friend, but I've got a download if I feel hard up for some Chuckness. 

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Say what you want about the rest of it, but the part where the cheesy biker leader is trying to drive his bike out through the bar window only to get clotheslined in the throat by Chuck with a pool cue, is good shit.

 

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I watched "Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare" this weekend.

I was not ready.

My immediate reaction and totally stream-of-consciousness impression of the whole thing:  It started off with lots of driving exposition.  Then talking.  Some rocking.  Sexual innuendos.  More rocking.  Some dude gets killed by a demon/monster.  More rocking.  Some fucking.  The dead dude is back to terrorize some groupies who we never see again.  More rocking.  The drummer is possessed, and he kills his girlfriend through the promise of fucking by a lake.  The keyboardist and guitarist have an extended sexual encounter, are interrupted by some random kid, and I forgot that there was a brief scene at the beginning where a family gerts killed.  A guy named Thor fucks in the shower.  Thor then goes to write his magnum metal ops "Edge of Hell", and the devil shows up.  Thor displays an unhealthy knowledge of Satanic lore, far beyond what I would deem normal for even the guys in Slayer.  Then, holy shit, THERE'S SUDDENLY A WHOLE FAMILY OF LITTLE PENIS PUPPETS!!!  AND THOR IS IN A LEAHTER THONG BEDAZZLED WITH SPIKES!!!  AND HE HAS ON EYELINER!!!  AND HE'S SLAPBOXING SEVEN FOOT SATAN LIKE LITTLE MAC FIGHTING SODA POPINSKI!!!  AND SATAN THROWS NINJA STARS MADE OUT OF THE PENIS PUPPETS!!!  AND THOR LAID THIS PLAN OUT ALL ALONG TO TRAP SATAN ... wait ... he says he built this plan to trap Satan by populating this whole thing with souls that would draw out Satan like bait, but he based the characters on horror movies characters.  "I've been alone the whole time."  Dude, you had an extended sex scene in the shower; so you were just writhing and gyrating by yourself in the shower, and you created these scenarios where all your bandmates are pairing off, and there was the owner of the home you rented, and who drove the van?  And Thor chokes Satan, who explodes, presumably killing the penis puppet family.

And then the movie was over.

I'm not entirely sure this didn't begin life as an advertisement for Coca-Cola.

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Despite my deep knowledge of heavy metal I am surprisingly out in the cold as to the career of Jon Mikl Thor. I think he used to blow up water bottles with only his lungs or something? Time has not been fair to him. 

Keep_the_Dogs_Away.jpg

from this to this:

1298004440442_ORIGINAL.jpg?size=650x

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Basically he morphed from Jon Mikl Thor into some strange hybrid of Guy Fieri and Jon Rhys-Davies, which is oddly fitting since Davies played the Kingpin in The Trial of the Incredible Hulk 1989 TV Movie, which also featured Thor. Correction: After doing a search, Thor was actually in the previous year's The Incredible Hulk Returns, which didn't feature Kingpin as the villain. Daredevil is in both of them though, which is probably what combined them in my head. I just recently saw the last half hour of Returns on ConTV and I was wondering where the hell Kingpin was.

Edited by FluffSnackwell
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I still have my VHS recording of The Death of the Incredible Hulk with Thor back to back with The Goonies off of NBC. 

Given the similarity I'd throw Udo Dirkschneider into the hybrid mix too 

udo-dirkschneider.jpg?fit=790,558&ssl=1

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That looks like Patton Oswalt's mean dad who hates that his kid isn't a football player but is willing to drive the Cadillac Patton bought him with "the mouse cartoon" money.

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There is a second Gorgon Home Video volume. It never got a official release. But leaked out a long time ago. Might still be on Youtube.

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