The Grindhouse Report

[piranesi]

Also now watching DEAR DEAD DELILAH with Agnes Moorehead in her final film role and Will Geer (the grandpa from The Waltons) which is out now on Blu Ray from Vinegar Syndrome.

 

Oh my god this movie is so thick with ambiance and character. It doesn't matter to me at all that since the opening scene almost nothing has strictly happened. I can smell the cigarette smoke staining the drapes and feel the ice cubes clinking in a streaked glass on a hot Tennessee night with the window open.

 

I'm absolutely hypnotized by the atmosphere and there is a bizarre tension that comes from the cheap camera and film stock that gives it that horrifying "this looks like someone's home movie and all this stuff actually happened" vibe that you get from something like Manos but with amazing actors and a basic soap-opera level of competence in filming. Now I'm pretty sure I'm not watching a rip of the Vinegar Syndrome scan from the...er...source I'm viewing this, so that grainy, grubby look may not be as strong in their cleaned up version....but I kind of hope it is.

I love all these horrible despicable characters and I can't wait to see them all get killed and I also can't wait to start the movie again so I can enjoy their disgusting company some more. The dialog crackles and every conversation is filled with enough twists and interesting crannies to make you forget that this is all what we would call "padding" if this all wasn't so much goddamn fun.

Don't believe the many many many many terrible reviews of this movie. Those people have about as much respect for genuine film-making as a grasshoppah. Why theyah as crazy as an old hoot-owl and they're not going to get away with it! Why they're the types with so much mold in their heads they're liken to drink a martini without an olive in it. Don't listen to them and give yourself a case of the miseries.

For my part, and please do forgive if I am so presumptuous as to overstep the welcome of my heeartfelt opinion on this fine evenin', why I do believe I give it an easy three axe-heads-chilling-on-a-cool-pillow-during-a-warm-spring-evening out of a possible three

 

 

Edited March 31, 2019 by piranesi

[FluffSnackwell]

I never mistook L.Q. Jones for Sam Elliott but I did have to look up whether or not the drunk stereotype Indian was Sid Haig. It was just some other "ugly enough to be a modern art masterpiece" obscure character actor though. If I remember correctly, I discovered The Beast Within on some local midnight creature feature show when I was about 12 and was pretty weirded out by it. That bladder effect is indeed awesome. Looks like swollen testicles with a face formed on them. In a way, it is a slightly classier Humanoids From The Deep. The one redneck guy that is overprotective of his daughter is almost as magnificent of a bastard as Vic Morrow. 

Edited April 1, 2019 by FluffSnackwell

[piranesi]

1 hour ago, FluffSnackwell said:

I The one redneck guy that is overprotective of his daughter is almost as magnificent of a bastard as Vic Morrow. 

I feel like that guy played that same character in a bunch of stuff but the only thing I remember his face from specifically was PALE RIDER as one of the bad guys.

[FluffSnackwell]

His name is John Dennis Johnston. Rednecky enough to hold the high authority position of trailer park manager. 

[Curt McGirt]

EDIT: Double post

Edited April 1, 2019 by Curt McGirt

[Curt McGirt]

On 3/31/2019 at 1:36 AM, piranesi said:

if I had seen it when I was 10 or 12 on USA UP ALL NIGHT or something

SO CLOSE! I actually saw it on Joe Bob's Monstervision when I was like twelve or thirteen years old. Old enough to appreciate the effect more than be traumatized by it, but seeing it again while I'm eating lunch is still not particularly pleasant.

[FluffSnackwell]

The creature in the book (the movie was based on) was a werewolf. Since the best werewolf designs had been exhausted by then, there was the longshot possibility this could've been the movie where the Porcelain-eyed werewolf from Silver Bullet sexually assaulted a couple of gals instead of that creepy bog bug bastard. 

[FluffSnackwell]

Speaking of Joe Bob, he showed CHUD for the first episode of his new weekly series on SHUDDER and he really kind of shit all over it. The main knocks were a lack of actual CHUD and a bunch of tirades against the cast, who apparently all got their start in the same inner circle of the New York theatre scene. Who knows what bug crawled up his ass? Never mind that shit, it's CHUD. The other movie was Castle Freak. I didn't stick around for that one because when I finally saw it last year, it was way too bleak and dreary in comparison to Gordon's earlier Lovecraft adaptations. 

 

[piranesi]

Joe Bob had some good points about CHUD, though.  If that movie was just scene after scene of New York archetypes getting eaten by CHUDS it would be the greatest thing ever.  Instead we got waaaaaaaaay bogged down in, like eight or nine different character arcs and, like, city planning and zoning laws and photography.

Also I find it unforgivable that the bad guy in CHUD, literally the guy who is responsible for making the CHUDS happen, did not...at the end of the movie...get eaten by CHUDS. There was an open manhole cover RIGHT THERE!!!!

That's just basic storytelling, fellas.

Sadly I give CHUD only 3 1/2 CHUDS out of a possible 4 CHUDS

 

 

 

 

Edited April 2, 2019 by piranesi

[FluffSnackwell]

Good point about Wilson not getting gobbled up. I guess they needed a big explosion to cap things off. 

Edited April 2, 2019 by FluffSnackwell

[Curt McGirt]

Damn. Well, I missed it because there was no way the first night of streaming was possibly going to work for me, of course. 

Castle Freak is really good but, yes, a serious downer indeed. Jeffery Combs is a terrible alcoholic, the whole family is dysfunctional, the poor monster itself -- jeez, his story is the worst. It's like if you thought From Beyond was pretty much a downer without Ken Foree being there, just imagine that but ten times worse.

[piranesi]

Am I the only one whose second favorite show now is the countdown screen for Joe Bob Brigg's last Drive-In?

 

It is beyond relaxing and the perfect ambiance with the traffic and train sounds and crickets and dogs howling.

 

[odessasteps]

This might be best place to mention it

Nancy Allen is on new episode of Gilbert’s podcast

[Swift]

Years ago, there was a guy who posted on here who also had a shitty B-movie VHS blog (the blog was good, the movies were shitty) he ran with another guy. I used to read it all the time, but can't find it now and can't remember who the poster was. Any ideas? I thought maybe it had been Scott Foy (Foywonder) but if it was him, he no longer appears to have the blog.

[Curt McGirt]

That sounds very familiar. I turned off sigs for everyone on here ages ago though, so I don't see people's sites anymore unless they pimp them on here or I have them saved. Nothing in the bookmarks looks like it so perhaps I had it saved once upon a time on an old laptop. 

[Swift]

Oh it's not that important so don't go digging up old laptops! I just felt like browsing it again. 

[Curt McGirt]

I wasn't about to haha. There are a few great sites I've found through here: Daily Grindhouse, Oh, The Horror!, Movie Feast (RIP), Segunda and some other blogs. 

[nate]

@Swiftian

The dude had a sig of Klaus Kinski from "The Great Silence?" The "ran with another guy" part sounds familiar.

[Swift]

Yes, very possible. This image in particular rings a bell

 

I honestly don't think the blog exists anymore and am thinking it was run by Foywonder. I believe it was hosted on blogspot and can remember them doing a series of reviews on Nick Millard and Bud Spencer's Extralarge films. If I can't find that kind of stuff reviewed on a blog, then I assume the blog doesn't exist anymore.

[FluffSnackwell]

Is it these guys?

http://www.videojunkie.org/

[Swift]

2 hours ago, FluffSnackwell said:

Is it these guys?

http://www.videojunkie.org/

Holy shit, yes that's the one! Though I see they've improved the look of the site. Thanks

[Curt McGirt]

YEAH! I totally remember those guys! Awesome! 

[bobholly138]

On 3/17/2019 at 6:16 PM, piranesi said:

  Hide contents

Quick recommendation of something that caught me off guard.

It's called THERE'S NOTHING OUT THERE.

It was made by a guy named Rolfe Kanefsky in 1991 when he was 20 years old. It is shot on 16MM and it is fantastically clever.

It apparently has a decent following as Fangoria recently tweeted about its anniversary:

It won a bunch of festival stuff and got a very limited release in 1992 where everyone who saw it loved it but never got a wide release and never made any money.  But it is out there on DVD and Blu Ray through Vinegar Syndrome and it is well worth your time. It is basically SCREAM about five years before SCREAM and 15 before THE CABIN IN THE WOODS but a bit more obvious about it and about 50% more (somewhat dated) 80s comedy than actual horror.

For a 20 year old throwing together literally his first movie it is very well directed with EVIL DEAD style steady cam shots and nice transitions and jump scares.

It opens with an amazing scene where a video store clerk is stalked by a masked killer. As he chases her through the store we see a panoply of 80s horror VHS covers on the shelves with close cuts to some as the action mimics the cover art.  

The covers include GRIZZLY, THE MUTILATOR, THE DUNGEONMASTER, EVIL DEAD, HELL NIGHT, and others.

Seeing them on the shelf in an actual stalker/slasher scare scene is oddly satisfying and sets the tone for the whole movie.

There is a Randy character who spends the entire movie trying to get the crew to not go to the cabin. When they first drive past the grizzly crime scene of a murdered teen on their way to the cabin he declares "That is called a warning phase! Are we actually going to drive righ through a warning phase!!!!"

He gets annoying because he is 100% focused on calling out horror tropes and his growing panic becomes the center of the movie. However it plays ok because the other characters are also annoyed by him and ironically their eventual mistakes are driven by their desire to prove him wrong.  

This is basically the visual equivalent to every line delivery he does so be prepared.

He has some genuinely funny moments such as trying to "pre-barricade" the door to his bedroom only to find out that it's not nearly as easy or effective to pile up furniture in front of a door as it is in the movies. He also tries to turn himself into a dollar-general version of S-Mart Ash. Also a funny dig at the "cat jumps out of nowhere" scare.

There is also a great bunch of "punkers" that look like a Kids in the Hall sketch.

 

The monster is adorable in a Ghoulies kind of way and the limited gore effects are well used. The movie also parodies 80s style emphasis on nudity and underwear but makes it a bit more equal in terms of ....male//femaleness of the butts and stuff. The characters are likable in a goofy way and the sexed-up jock guy looks weirdly like Michael Madsen who the director would later work with in a movie called RED LINE and one of the girls looks a lot like Adrienne King from FRIDAY THE 13th. The Hair and clothes are still very 80s and that's a plus for the gimmick.

The movie holds your attention even in the padding scenes in part because Kanefsky knows how to move the camera and cut from couple to couple to monster, etc. and has enough going on at any one moment to generate a sense of momentum.

If you've always wished there was a version of SCREAM that actually took place in the 80s and looked like an 80s movie because everything in the world after 1993 or so is not to your taste, then this may be the best movie youve ever seen. If you are a fan of this thread than it is a must see and I am baffled and ashamed that I just now heard of it.

 

I mean they try to do a gross out shot with a rat but it is so obviously someone's cute pet mouse. There is also a moment where the boom mic falls into the shot and then a character grabs it and uses it to swing to safety while the INDIANA JONES theme plays. I love every minute of this movie.

I give it

A FULL FOUR very anxious alien slime monsters waiting for the microwave Bagel Bytes to be done out of a possible four

 

 

 

I  lucked out and got the VHS of this film cheap in 98. Great film that has been forgotten. 

[clintthecrippler]

I dont suppose anyone else was watching B Movie TV just now? I stumbled into the last 15 minutes of what looked to be a pretty insane late 70s HK martial arts flick where a bunch of warrior women were fighting off a bunch of men, and a lady idol statue starting shooting lasers out the eyes, and then it turned out the men and women had to band together to fight off the scourge of invading pirates. The ending seemed to imply that it was an island of warrior women under attack from pirates that had sworn off men, but both the women and men that were originally fighting called a truce. 

Unfortunately no credits at the end and my various attempts at Google searches are coming up short

Anyone have a guess to what this was I just watched?

[nate]

Possibly Island Warriors, but I asked their Facebook group for sure.

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0087487/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_35

Edited May 17, 2019 by nate