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[MOVIE] FEBRUARY 2016 DISCUSSION

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I watched PITCH PERFECT 2 recently and was horribly disappointed in it.

 

I have no one to blame but myself.

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I finally got around to seeing The Hateful Eight.  I found it overlong and kind of boring. I really wanted to like it and it had some good spots but they didn't really add up to anything good.  It's like Tarantino figured the best part of a Tarantino movie was the dialogue, so he made a movie that was nothing but Tarantino dialogue.

 

I did enjoy Demian Bechir's 3 hour Strongbad impersonation, though.

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I watched PITCH PERFECT 2 recently and was horribly disappointed in it.

 

I have no one to blame but myself.

I blamed my wife.

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To continue yesterday's discussion I had w/ piranesi: I get what you're saying, as far as the layout of streaming channels vs. on-demand. "Hundra" started last night, and I couldn't watch it because of stupid work, but I had a distinct "USA Up All Night" nostalgia moment. Those were fine times.

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so the new Alien-etheus film from Ridley Scott will now be Noomi Rapace-less. It seems increasingly like they're trying to sweep the mess of Prometheus under the rug

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so the new Alien-etheus film from Ridley Scott will now be Noomi Rapace-less. It seems increasingly like they're trying to sweep the mess of Prometheus under the rug

 

Based on the lack of explanation and some of the subtle hints Ridley Scott was dropping about budgeting, this decision sounds like something isolated from Covenant and made purely on a gripe between Rapace and Scott. I mean she was only suppose to make a brief cameo anyway. He probably decided it would be easier just to drop her from the movie then pay whatever she was asking.

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My girlfriend made me sit through Fifty Shades of Black on Saturday.  She did not believe me when I told her that the Wayans have not been funny since A Low Down Dirty Shame.

 

She owes me big time.   She is taking my ass to go see Deadpool on Valentine Weekend.

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My girlfriend made me sit through Fifty Shades of Black on Saturday.  She did not believe me when I told her that the Wayans have not been funny since A Low Down Dirty Shame.

 

She owes me big time.   She is taking my ass to go see Deadpool on Valentine Weekend.

 

If we're talking just Shawn and Marlon, I thought the early Scary Movies were funny before they lost pretty much all creative control and we got terrible derivative spinoff after terrible derivative spinoff.

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Creed: Yeah, I was blown away by this.  It was wonderful.

 

Micheal B. Jordan not being nominated for an Oscar is shocking. The running scene alone, man. He took a cheesy, cliched '80s action movie trope that everyone rolls their eyes at and turned it into something stunningly raw and real.

 

Stallone is amazing too. The guy will never do Hamlet or King Lear, but that doesn't mean the emotions he shows aren't still every bit as valid.

 

Man, this movie should have swept the board at the academy awards. That it didn't is either due to the voters being dimwits or everyone being snobby about sports films.

 

Newsflash, guys: No one cares about that 3rd or 4th Steve Jobs biopic or Leo getting raped by a bear. You're sinking into irrelevance. 

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Watched Trainwreck over the weekend.  At about the 50 minute mark I said to myself "Okay, I see where this is going...how much time is left?  Almost an hour and twenty minutes?!?!?"  Anyways, it was all right, not quite the spectacular "There's a new voice in comedy!!!!" comedy it was being promoted as.  In fact, for all the good stuff Schumer has done (The 3rd season of her show, her stand-up special), I was really disappointed in how by-the-books the whole thing was...

"Bad" girl sleeps around, drinks too much, smokes too much weed and mocks her sister for her normal relationship.  Of course she falls in love with boring normal doctor.  Obviously, they break up for stupid reasons.  She realizes she really loves him, throws away all the booze and drugs and does a cheesy romantic comedy gesture to win him back.

I was expecting with the way she's played around with gender roles, feminism, and parodying popular culture that the film would work to subvert some of those cliches of the Apatow universe, then was really let down that she just made Apatow Comedy 1.1 (With female lead upgrade).  I laughed a lot at John Cena and LeBron James, but overall I'd say this was as big a disappointment as I ran into in cinema last year...and that's coming from a guy who watched both the 'Terminator' sequel and the Adam Sandler western.

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That's pretty usual for Apatow movies.  A good start but too long and hamhanded attempts to inject "real" drama, only to have everything resolved with a couple of clichéd parts.

 

I was surprised that Vince allowed Cena to appear nude and have the character be pretty much a closeted gay dude.

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I finally saw Creed and really enjoyed it. It did have some pacing issues, any romantic stuff grinded the mosvie to a halt. 

But everything else was so strong it did not matter. Drago carried so much weight without being mentioned by name. I think Tommy Gunn also cast a shadow on Adonis and Rocky's relationship. The idea Rocky has not had a lot of success in the mentor department, even with his own son. 

For all the praise it got, Stallone's performance felt off to me. It seems like Stallone only can get a great performance directing himself. Cop Land and the first Rocky being notable exceptions. 

Still a very good movie.

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I personally liked Stallone's performance because it really got across the whole "Well, most of the people I love are gone, and I just have to wait and stick it out until the inevitable happens" thing that, I imagine, a lot of older people surely go through.  

 

And, in the end, he realized maybe there was something to stay alive for, after all. 

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There is a great essay to be written by someone other than me about how The Force Awakens and Creed are both stealth remakes while also being decades later sequels to two of the biggest, most populist films of the seventies, and what that means.

But Christ was Creed great. Can't wait for the blu-ray so I can see it again.

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Newsflash, guys: No one cares about that 3rd or 4th Steve Jobs biopic or Leo getting raped by a bear. You're sinking into irrelevance. 

Eh?

 

Creed $108M domestic gross, $160M Worldwide

Revenant $140M domestic gross, $287M Worldwide

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Creed was a Steve Jobs biopic?

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No, he just cut most of the quote, where he said Creed should have gotten the nominations

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With Lin-Manuel Miranda doing music for Moana, he might have a legit shot at the EGOT next year. In other interesting news, if Blame Canada hadn't gotten fucked by Phil Collins, Trey Parker & Marc Shaiman would've also been EGOTs by now.

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I watch movies at random sometimes.

 

Piranha 3DD (2012) is a cheap-ass sequel to Piranha 3D, which was basically an exploitation flick assuming that what people really wanted to see with the new 3D technology was naked ladies boobies (and blood gushing from horrific wounds too, but mostly boobies). But it actually had a decent budget and some decent actors in the cast. The sequel, not so much. Cast of dozens rather than thousands, no real name performers except Dave Hasslehoff doing a self-parody dealie (he's actually really good). The CGI killer fish look like crap too. It's pretty crap, really.

 

Vanishing Point (1971) is kind of one of those movies I don't like, where it's really slow paced and doesn't have much of a plot, and there's lots of lingering long shots in which nothing happens and nobody says or does anything. Except for most of those shots, although 80% of the frame is 'look at this pretty landscape I filmed', the other 20% is a big white muscle car tear-arsing it across the screen at 100 miles per hour, and there's some awesome classic soul music blasting over the soundtrack. That makes it better. It reminded me quite a lot of GTA: San Andreas, because a lot of the Colorado/ Nevada/ California scenery that they drive through in this film looks like the area along the north of the map, from Las Venturas to San Fierro. It's one of those movies that, even though you've never seen it before, it feels familiar because you've seen it ripped off in lots of other movies and music videos and that.

 

American police cars in the 70s couldn't corner for shit, could they? 

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Speaking of cruddy, shit-tastic CGI infested sequels to somewhat decent wannabe exploitation originals, I watched Machete Kills last night. I'm one of those people that feels I need to finish a film once I've started it and this was one of the ones that was really pushing me to break that rule. Just godawful and worthless. "Oh, Sofia Vergara shoots bullets from her tits! How original."

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I think the secret to understanding Machete Kills is to accept that it's basically a cartoon which just so happens to star live-action people. It's got more in common with Looney Tunes and Saturday morning action cartoons from the 80s than it does with any serious action movie.

But I would recommend dropping the "I always finish every movie I start" rule. I finally did that not long ago, and I've been much happier for it.

And co-signed on Piranha 3DD being a total piece of shit. I didn't like the first one either, but the sequel was much worse. Hasselhoff's part was pretty much the only good thing in that movie, even moments which SHOULD have rocked (Ving Rhames shotgunning piranhas, David Koechner being a super-sleazy local business leader) ended up flatter than hell.

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I watched Bonfire of the Vanities last night. My wife had read the book for her book club and rented it. Kind of a crappy movie although I did enjoy the performances of Tom Hanks, F. Murray Abraham (who was uncredited for some reason) and Saul Rubinek.

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So my friends and I watched These Final Hours last night on Netflix. I wasn't aware "ridiculously nihilistic" was a film subgenre, but god damn.  

 

Basically, a meteor has hit in the North Atlantic.  Extinction Level Event. The global firestorm is headed around the world, and a guy in Perth has about 12 hours to decide what to do with the rest of his life.  Mass suicide, chaos, murder, sex, and drugs are all on the agenda.  

 

Man...  There aren't enough puppy videos in the world to make the thoughts in my head go away.  

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Newsflash, guys: No one cares about that 3rd or 4th Steve Jobs biopic or Leo getting raped by a bear. You're sinking into irrelevance. 

Eh?

 

Creed $108M domestic gross, $160M Worldwide

Revenant $140M domestic gross, $287M Worldwide

 

 

I hugely misunderstood the appeal of Leo/Bear rape, obviously. 

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