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Your Powerball jackpot plans...


Pete

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Realistic goals:

 

1. Pay off student loans, credit cards, and those of my sister.

2. Get rid of a lot of my mom's clutter in the one bedroom condo we live in, get brand new stuff, and move into something a bit more spacious.

3. Donate money to JDRF and diabetes research organizations.

4. Finish my undergraduate studies.

 

Dreamland stuff

 

1. I could run my own vanity promotion with that kind of money, or give a large portion to Lucha Underground so those guys can continue to kick ass. 

2. Travel the world to see wrestling in Japan, Mexico, the UK, and across the US.

3. Get a chauffeur so I don't have to take public transit.

4. Get Haku and Pentagon Jr to spearhead my security detail. 

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One point three billion dollars, wow.  The jackpot is up so high that the signs cannot even record it.  They all say 999 Million.

 

That being said, interest rates are so shitty that I would still take the lump sum over the annuity.  That and I don't trust the bond initiative enough with the payouts and you can't bequeath the annuity in most states. 

 

I'd take the lump sum payment and just invest / donate / do my thing and I'd get a will and set up a living trust as fast as I could.

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One point three billion dollars, wow.  The jackpot is up so high that the signs cannot even record it.  They all say 999 Million.

 

I just cracked up picturing Powerball like an old videogame, flipping over after a big score and resetting at zero.

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Me and a co-worker discussing the "island" answer:

 

Me: I am continually amused by the "I will buy my own island" answer to the "what would you do with lottery winnings" question.

CW: Good luck with that

Me: I'm sure you can get an island somewhere. Maybe even somewhere nice. But it's probably going to be in the middle of f-ing nowhere.

CW: Hopefully your data plan on your satellite phone is a good one.

Me: Also, since most unoccupied islands don't tend to have houses pre-built on them, you'd sorta need to take care of that.

CW: Enjoy nation building!

Me: Including the process of ferrying a construction crew and feeding and housing them.

CW: Do you have an engineering degree by chance? Cause you'll need some infrastructure

Me: Yeah, how about "I will buy a nice house on an already-colonized island that has such amenities I don't really want to leave behind such as electricity and running water" And just accept that the human race is going to continue to occupy some slice of your ocean view.

CW: "Hookers and blow" guy still has the most honest response

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Thinking bigger, I would pay off all of the debts for my family and friends. I would then purchase homes for all of my friends in some local neighborhood.

 

Since student loan debt sucks, I would pay off the student loan debt for anyone I knew. Board members included, but there would need to be some kind of a post count or tenure type system to qualify.

 

I would become a season ticket holder for the Chicago Cubs and then make sure other close friends of mine who are die hard Cubs fans became season ticket holders.

 

Purchase some kind of a near foolproof system for preserving my life during flight so I never had to worry about flying again. Surely there must be some kind of system that uses parachutes or jet packs or something so that if a flight is going down, my loved ones and me won't die in that flight. And before anyone says, "but they already have that, they're called planes, and they already ensure you'll survive." That's not good enough for me. Maybe I could just have someone to fly me around and actually be able to have a voice or some form of control to tell the pilot to take the safest route possible or just land the plane if I started feeling nervous or scared. Yeah, I'm that afraid to fly, even though I've done it once before.

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Me and a co-worker discussing the "island" answer:

 

Me: I am continually amused by the "I will buy my own island" answer to the "what would you do with lottery winnings" question.

CW: Good luck with that

Me: I'm sure you can get an island somewhere. Maybe even somewhere nice. But it's probably going to be in the middle of f-ing nowhere.

CW: Hopefully your data plan on your satellite phone is a good one.

Me: Also, since most unoccupied islands don't tend to have houses pre-built on them, you'd sorta need to take care of that.

CW: Enjoy nation building!

Me: Including the process of ferrying a construction crew and feeding and housing them.

CW: Do you have an engineering degree by chance? Cause you'll need some infrastructure

Me: Yeah, how about "I will buy a nice house on an already-colonized island that has such amenities I don't really want to leave behind such as electricity and running water" And just accept that the human race is going to continue to occupy some slice of your ocean view.

CW: "Hookers and blow" guy still has the most honest response

 

 

With $450-500 million after penalities and taxes, getting a small island up to code wouldn't be difficult.  Or buy an occupied one and pay everyone there to get off your new mound of dirt and lava.

 

The point of buying the island is to be in the middle of nowhere.  I can ferry supplies to the dump 3-4 times a year.  I'd probably have a 'continental' house somewhere when hurricane season arrives.  Plans can be made/adjusted as needed.

 

Think creatively, man!

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Purchase some kind of a near foolproof system for preserving my life during flight so I never had to worry about flying again. Surely there must be some kind of system that uses parachutes or jet packs or something so that if a flight is going down, my loved ones and me won't die in that flight. And before anyone says, "but they already have that, they're called planes, and they already ensure you'll survive." That's not good enough for me. Maybe I could just have someone to fly me around and actually be able to have a voice or some form of control to tell the pilot to take the safest route possible or just land the plane if I started feeling nervous or scared. Yeah, I'm that afraid to fly, even though I've done it once before.

So, I'm not going to tell you not to be afraid to fly, since fear isn't necessarily subject to the rational mind, but I'm trying to tactfully explain how none of that (other than that last bit about hiring a pilot-slash-Craig-whisperer) is remotely realistic.

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Cristiano Ronaldo bought his agent a small Greek island for his last birthday. Greek property is in the fucking toilet and the Mediterranean is hardly an obscure living location.

 

Cristiano Ronaldo is a swell friend.

 

Anyway, the idea that with Powerball Fuck Money a small, one-house private island would be beyond reach is completely ridiculous.

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Purchase some kind of a near foolproof system for preserving my life during flight so I never had to worry about flying again. Surely there must be some kind of system that uses parachutes or jet packs or something so that if a flight is going down, my loved ones and me won't die in that flight. And before anyone says, "but they already have that, they're called planes, and they already ensure you'll survive." That's not good enough for me. Maybe I could just have someone to fly me around and actually be able to have a voice or some form of control to tell the pilot to take the safest route possible or just land the plane if I started feeling nervous or scared. Yeah, I'm that afraid to fly, even though I've done it once before.

So, I'm not going to tell you not to be afraid to fly, since fear isn't necessarily subject to the rational mind, but I'm trying to tactfully explain how none of that (other than that last bit about hiring a pilot-slash-Craig-whisperer) is remotely realistic.

 

 

I know :(

 

I'm sure I'll fly again and it will again be with the assistance of a lot of Xanax...

 

Which if I win the lottery, I could actually afford since we have a really crappy, new prescription plan that barely pays anything.

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