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Your Powerball jackpot plans...


Pete
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Make everyone in my family, my wife's family, and all our close friends millionaires.

 

I think about this sometimes... that'd be difficult.  Like where's the line for how close a friend someone has to be to get $1 million instead of $0?  Rough for the people who miss out.

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Easy. First you think "who would be willing to sign over their redundant organs to me in exchange for the million?"

Then think "ok, who will i not make sign that?" and that's your list.

Then you harvest some organs and move to a country without an extradition treaty...I seem to have gotten off-topic

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Cuz that doesn't work in real life. Duh.

 

I don't know. We have hovercraft. We have primitive hoverboard technology. I'm pretty sure with Powerball money and a little mad science you could rig up some sort of primitive antigravity pool and make this shit work, though I'd suggest goggles and a cup unless you enjoy a coin in your sensitive places.

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Well, for starters, get the new house  compound built, with the library building and pinball arcade. Addressing the former, I call up L.W.Currey, largest specialty dealer of SF/Fantasy/Horror, conversation goes like this:"Lloyd, about the books listed on your webpage, I want one of everything, no duplicates, please! I'm also sending you my want list of really rare stuff that I know you can find, but would never bother to list because you have standing wants, since I'll pay double what anyone else would, forget about those standing wants I just went to the top of the list. So, one of everything, plus my want list, oh, and no Piers Anthony books, fuck that old perv."

 

Then we turn to my cat rescue program, you adopt a shelter cat and I pay all the expenses for life. I can't personally save them all, but this is a good start. 

 

Throw some $$$ to the guys for upkeep of this place.

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Pay off all our debts.

Get my wife and I an awesome house.

Pay off my mom's mortgage.

Pay off my dad's mortgage.

Pay off the mortgages of my three younger brothers that have houses and get my younger sister a house.

Pay off my best friend's mortgage and help him get a good enough lawyer to tell his awful harpy shrew of an ex-wife to pound sand.

 

After that. . .hell, I'm not even sure if I'd do that much. Get myself a few ridiculous luxury items and what not, I suppose.

 

Knowing my wife and I, we'd probably just sit on it and do whatever we wanted. If we want to go to Australia for a month, fuck it, we're going to Australia for a month. Something comes along we want to invest in, fuck it, we'll invest in it.

 

Though I would sort of like to be the guy that randomly and anonymously goes around dropping $10,000 into Salvation Army buckets on Christmas or whatever.

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I suggest using your winnings to send OSJ hundreds of thousands of Piers Anthony books so he can build a nice pyre the size of a small mountain.

 

Edit: After looking up more about why OSJ considers him a pervert since I'm not familiar with his work. Yeah, lots of weird shit and sexualizing young folks and apparently unicorn-fucking. So, your standard sci-fi author. .......

To quote a favorite anime of mine. "He's a feminist, not a lolicon." *cough*

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First things first: the annuity is for suckers. I'm going cash value, which after federal income taxes leaves me with roughly $300M.

 

10% to charity, a mix of political causes and medical research (yes, it'll be weighted toward anyone working on things that might one day contribute to me having 20/20 vision).

 

Pay off my GF's house if she'll let me.

 

Buy a car and hire a driver to be on-call for me.

 

Buy a condo in downtown Austin and a house...somewhere in the area. Maybe a condo in Chicago to be able to visit my brother and his family too.

 

Put on a free mini-festival with a few bands I've always wanted to see who don't really tour

 

I'm pretty sure my brother and sister (and sister-in-law, brother-in-law never went) have their student loans paid off, so I'd make sure they know that my nieces will be paid for at any college they can get into BUT will not get a dime beyond tuition, books and ON-CAMPUS housing/food (i.e. if they want spending money or to live somewhere nicer than the dorm I lived in, it comes from mom and dad or from them getting a job).

 

Make it clear to my Dragon Con roomies that I will pay for basically everything this year, and in future years I'll pay for the best hotel rooms not already set aside for celebrity guests and buy them Eternal Passes, but it won't be a "free ride"  Find another con to take my Austin geek friends to once.

 

Maybe law school part time; I think I would enjoy law school a lot more than I would actually being a lawyer (I took the LSAT on a lark in 04 and made a 168, so if I put my mind to it I could definitely get into UT)

 

Trainer and chef to help me ditch that last 20lb and bring my lifting up to the next level (because my cooking is a lost cause).

 

Two weeks at my job. See how many of the things I've always wanted to tell obnoxious taxpayers ("You completely quit withholding after you bought your house. If going to married and 3 will cause you to lose it, was it ever really yours to begin with?" "No, you DON'T pay my salary. If you did, we wouldn't be having this conversation." etc etc) I can get out before they ask me to just go home.

 

Most of the rest goes into a low-risk holding pattern so I can live off the interest.

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Make everyone in my family, my wife's family, and all our close friends millionaires.

I think about this sometimes... that'd be difficult. Like where's the line for how close a friend someone has to be to get $1 million instead of $0? Rough for the people who miss out.

Luckily I have very few friends so everyone would make the cut.

Who has "difficulty socializing" and an "off putting demeanor" now Dr. Tennyson?

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Two more really childish things I thought of:

 

1) Now that I'd no longer have to worry about losing my job, get some really good LSD just so I'll know what it's like to drop acid (I figure once is enough)

 

2) Hire a professional to make sure I always have badass costumes for cons and Halloween.

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Oh, the annuity is for SUCKERS. Not inheritable, and taxes and inflation are much more likely to increase than decrease. If you invest the bulk of it, you are likely to get more real money out of the $300-337 mil you pocket on the lump sum than the "$900 million" of the annuity.

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With hundreds of millions, it wouldn't matter to me either way, but if we're talking something in the $7-10M range, my concern would be less about how to maximize my personal take-home and more about how to minimize my ever spending a damn minute worrying about money again.

The annuity seems more conducive to that, and it's got a built-in brake on me living outside of my means.

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