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Dolfan in NYC

2015 NFL - WEEK FIVE

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Just think though...they're still not the Lions.

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I can't remember a weirder football season than this, with all the injuries and surprise teams and widespread suckiness.

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From Deadspin, quoting the Miami Herald:http://deadspin.com/the-dolphins-still-have-a-big-mess-to-clean-up-1734930281

 

Players didn’t loathe Philbin but felt he was neither a motivator (obviously) nor an X’s and O’s savant (clearly) and didn’t bring any special talent to the job.

But one player sentiment expressed to us by multiple people was this: The benefits of a change from Philbin to Campbell will be marginal if defensive coordinator Kevin Coyle or offensive coordinator Bill Lazor isn’t replaced.

Coyle is as disliked by his players as any coach we’ve encountered here. Players pleaded with him in a meeting last Monday to change his approach, including his read-and-react style which keeps defensive linemen from attacking as much as some would wish. Coyle made some concessions but not enough to please them.

[...]

Last season, a lot of players appreciated Lazor’s abilities as a play-caller even though some were turned off by his personality. This season, though, there has been considerable internal questioning of his play-calling, including his lack of commitment to the running game, which frustrates several players.

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Bills are working out Trent Richardson

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Bills are working out Trent Richardson

 

Fear not Bills fans - they signed Boom Herron instead

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My few family members who are Colts and Bills fans will be thrilled.

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The good thing about a bye week is my team can't lose. 

You say that...

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The good thing about a bye week is my team can't lose.

Tell that to the practice squad defense.

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"Enjoy your practice squad trophy" is basically something that a jock would say in a John Hughes movie. Good to know that Tannehill is living the gimmick. 

 

Truthfully, I'm just happy that this week Johnny Footbaw will maybe probably almost definitely not be the douchiest former A&M QB.

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Well it's that time of the week folks, that time that makes you wish your team could at least win the practice squad trophy!  It's time for ......

 

Top of the Bottom 2015: Playing Daft for the Draft!

 

That's right we take one more awkward lurch to the the most (un)desirable trophy in sports today...The Goodell Trophy.  So enough of the idle chit-chat, to the leader boards!

 

 

1)  Detroit                0-4

2)  Huston               1-3

3)  Tampa Bay        1-3

4)  New Orleans      1-3

5)  Jacksonville        1-3

6)  Philadelphia        1-3 

7)  Miami                  1-3

8)  Chicago               1-3

9)  Baltimore             1-3

10)  Cleveland           1-3

Special Mention: San Francisco  1-3

 

So where do we start?  Do we start with the amazing ELEVEN team log-jam for second place?  Do we talk about how Florida is 3 for 3 when it comes to teams on the list?  Do we talk about how somehow we're four weeks in and the Raiders are not on the list?  Hell no, let's talk about Detroit!  How amazing is it that the only team that has been perfect in the 16 game era  has the chance to be perfect once again?  Maybe when Megatron stops playing like Waspinator they'll fall down the list, but until then the dream survives!

 

So lets take a look at some of the other flotsam desperately trying to sink to the bottom shall we?  We've got half the NFC South, half the AFC North and half the AFC South with Tennessee is just a scant half-game away in third!  Baltimore remembered they are in fact the Ravens and their stock plummeted after just one win.  And speaking of birds, Philadelphia remembered that they are still terrible and jumped four places making them tied with Jacksonville as our first ever Art Modell Big Movers of the week!

 

This week is going to be massive for the rankings as we have Baltimore vs Cleveland, Tampa vs Jacksonville and Philly vs New Orleans.  With three teams hypothetically getting wins here we could see some massive shake-ups, so tune in next week for more....Top of the Bottom!

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Any wide receivers coming out that Detroit can waste a #1 overall on?

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After checking, picking at 1st overall, Detroit selects Laquon Treadwell out of Ole Miss.

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That is a lot of bad teams.  Don't get me wrong, I still think the 49ers have earned a place on the list but holy hell. I do think the Lions are better than a few of those teams. I do think the Saints with Brees will end up winning some here and there particularly at home. The rest are really fucking bad.

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I've known how bad Rob Ryan was for a long time but that whole Saints team is horribly coached from top to bottom. Sean Payton wasted their final time out against the Cowboys to stop them from kicking the extra point so he could talk to the refs about the previous touchdown which a) you can't challenge and b.) had already been reviewed and confirmed. Their final timeout in a tied football game with little time left.

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I've known how bad Rob Ryan was for a long time but that whole Saints team is horribly coached from top to bottom. Sean Payton wasted their final time out against the Cowboys to stop them from kicking the extra point so he could talk to the refs about the previous touchdown which a) you can't challenge and b.) had already been reviewed and confirmed. Their final timeout in a tied football game with little time left.

 

I'm concerned about this Saints vs. Eagles game. I think it may actually cause some sort of implosion previously unseen by science.

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The difference between elite franchises and...not...elite:

Miami: Head coach tell practice squad to "go easy" on their QB, QB proceeds to make low-class insulting remarks toward the practice players

New England: Head coach tells practice squad to go all out against their QB, QB proceeds to...pay the practice squad bonuses if they intercept him

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The difference between elite franchises and...not...elite:

Miami: Head coach tell practice squad to "go easy" on their QB, QB proceeds to make low-class insulting remarks toward the practice players

New England: Head coach tells practice squad to go all out against their QB, QB proceeds to...pay the practice squad bonuses if they intercept him

Yeah. I saw that too.

Honest question: who the fuck is Ryan Tannehill to have that attitude? He could be Josh Freeman in no time. He has done nothing. Nothing. If the Dolphins started Matt Moore going forward there would be very little impact on their performance. (Source: watching Moore play OK in spots for the Panthers. Which is all Tannehill has ever done.) Except that the o-line might play harder. Fuck outta here.

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The difference between elite franchises and...not...elite:

Miami: Head coach tell practice squad to "go easy" on their QB, QB proceeds to make low-class insulting remarks toward the practice players

New England: Head coach tells practice squad to go all out against their QB, QB proceeds to...pay the practice squad bonuses if they intercept him

Wait, why don't we hate Ryan Tannehill?  RGIII says he goes on the field feeling like the best quarterback in the league, and people lose his shit.  Tannehill tells the poorest people on the field to enjoy their practice squard paychecks, and no one really cares.  Tannehill hasn't exactly been Joe Montana, he sucks too.

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Number of pregnant women left by Tom Brady: 1

 

Number of murders committed by Patriots Tight Ends: 2, maybe 3

 

 

Number of teams whom the Patriots illegally stole signs from: 31

 

Shut the fuck up with the holier-than-thou Patriots being so much better than everyone else.  They're just as dirty and filled with horrible people as everyone else.  Period. 

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Number of pregnant women left by Tom Brady: 1

 

Number of murders committed by Patriots Tight Ends: 2, maybe 3

 

 

Number of teams whom the Patriots illegally stole signs from: 31

 

Shut the fuck up with the holier-than-thou Patriots being so much better than everyone else.  They're just as dirty and filled with horrible people as everyone else.  Period. 

 

I want to like this 9 billion times.

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I stand by my theory that Tabe is a closet Patriots fan. You forgot about Spikes' hit and run and employing Blount period.

 

I think Tannehill isn't hated simply because he plays in a town that the sports media doesn't care about (I don't mean that as an insult to the city, my team is the same way). If he played for a New York team, DC, San Fran, etc. then everyone would probably hate him.

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