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Watching him deal with griefers is half the fun.

One guy was like an amateur griefer - I would've stuck his shiny supercar so far up his ass surgery would've been required - but Woods would've at least needed heat-seeking missiles to take the guy down a peg. I think if Woods and his gang actually got semi-good at online, it would take away all of the fun of them flailing around.

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22 minutes ago, jstout said:

.One guy was like an amateur griefer - I would've stuck his shiny supercar so far up his ass surgery would've been required.

Those are the types of guys I used to get into firefights with and missed on purpose in order to herd them towards the ignition bomb I conveniently left parked near by.

Good times... I miss car bomb trolling so much.

 

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21 minutes ago, J.T. said:

Those are the types of guys I used to get into firefights with and missed on purpose in order to herd them towards the ignition bomb I conveniently left parked near by.

Good times... I miss car bomb trolling so much.

 

I don't think I ever got anybody that way.  Mine were always "Hi xXxStIcKyBuDzZ420xXx.  I just happen to be innocently driving past you in the car Simeon wants right past you.  Gosh, I hope you don't do something dastardly like shooting me out of it so you can steal it from me."

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5 minutes ago, Robert C said:

I don't think I ever got anybody that way.  Mine were always "Hi xXxStIcKyBuDzZ420xXx.  I just happen to be innocently driving past you in the car Simeon wants right past you.  Gosh, I hope you don't do something dastardly like shooting me out of it so you can steal it from me."

Yep, I pulled that too as well as plain ol parking an ignition bomb right in front of the entrance to LS Customs.  

I'm surprised people actually fell for that obvious trap, but of course it did not help that I was waiting on the roof of the parking garage adjacent to LSC waiting to snipe the players smart enough to get our of their car and blow up the one I had wedged in front of the garage.

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I think my favorite was the guy that melraz, Stout and I had been murdering all over the map one night.  Towards the end, Simeon requested a motorcycle, which turned out to be some big, slow Harley type thing.  I took off, grabbed it, rigged it, and just cruised right up to the guy.  I wasn't surprised when he shot me off of it, but I honestly didn't think he would get on the damn thing afterwards.  That was when I realized that being subtle was just a waste of time.

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I still like the simple thrill of catching someone in the Los Santos Customs and leaving them a few proximity mines at the exits as "welcome back" presents. I also like catching anyone in a store and just driving a sticky-bombed car up to the door and leaving. Let 'em worry.

I've seen Robert pull off that Simeon car ignition bomb trick in times where I was sitting there saying "no way this works, no way this works, this guy can't possibly be THAT stupid" ... BOOM! "Here, sir, I have hand-delivered you a Simeon car, simply because I like you." What were these guys thinking?

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Amateurs.

Before the patch that came with the first DLC, my favorite thing was taking the Simeon Car, fitting it it with an ignition bomb, and driving back to my crib on Alta Street and parking it in the lot next to the garage.  Then someone would come by to take the ride and BOOM~! while I watched from the safety of my penthouse sipping whiskey.

Then they patched it so that indirect kills did not register if you were in your safehouse.  Any sticky bombs you set and left behind would automatically detonate or become inert and any ignition or remote bombs would disarm when you went inside..

I used to leave sticky bombs on the walls near the Alta Street garage and stood by the window waiting for garage campers or people to drop buy and swap out cars and I'd detonate my explosives  from upstairs.  Got more than a little bit of hate mail from that practice, usually from assholes who liked to block the garage with a tank or a dump truck and wait for players to drive out.

They got that fix right but oddly never seemed to completely fix the garage killer bug.

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NY was a total blast.  Celebrated my home boy Big D's birthday at his crib at Rockaway Beach aka Rock-apulco.  I drank waaaaay too much  Senor Daniels Numero 7 on Saturday night and probably ate more Jerk Chicken than I should have.  I'll pay for it this week in the gym.

Now I'm ready to close the final chapter on story mode.  Time to do Lester's assassinations and micromanage the stock market.   The sleep to save my game / check my phone part will probably be as exciting as chewing off a hangnail.

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11 minutes ago, AxB said:

Have you done the Michael cult stuff yet? That takes time. Real world time.

I have already done the three cults for three characters thing and literally got the t-shirt for Franklin. 

The reason Michael had close to ten million halfway through the story was because I kept the Epsilonists money for myself, invested it after completing Hitch A Ride 2 with Franklin, and then buying the submarine dock and making close to $1.5 million on the nuclear waste contract and recovering the briefcases full of money from the ocean floor.

The only things I have left to do in GTA 5  story mode are complete Lester's assassination missions for 100% Completion and then spend the millions I make from the stock market to unlock A Lot Of Cheddar.

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Id whip Woods' ass in gta online just like he would whip mine in street fighter

Id pay money to watch anybody in the dvdr crew get ahold of him...hell it doesnt even have to be Nate on the beach with a sniper rifle either. I would totally watch Dan shank his ass repeatedly with a broken bottle...and I like the guy, even enjoy upupdwndwn fwiw.

Omar aint shit either, he is a bitch too. Ive got faith that anyone flying the dvdr...er...punk emblem would have kicked the shit out of the lot of em.

 

 

I miss clearing lobbies.

 

Sidenote, I was in one of my garages the other day and watched a pickup truck brute fuck a mustang, true story...I have video and sent it to some people here.

 

 

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99.3% Complete!

  • Multi-Target Assassination was a bit of a pain in the ass.  Broke out the normal flash suppressed sniper rifle for the first time in a long while.  The first hit was easy.  You could not have seen a more obvious target than that bodybuilder. I missed my first shot on the second target on the yacht by a hair and the mother fucker tried to escape.  Fortunately those ships have like zero acceleration speed and in turning towards the open ocean, he gave me an even better target to aim at. Boom.. The third hit was on a window washer.  It was just getting dark in the game day, so locating him was kind of a bitch, but eventually I saw the scaffold rig and took the guy out.  I went old school and just ran the last target off the road with my car.  Poor bastard tumbled off of his motorcycle and was mauled to death by a mountain lion.  The Mechanic I am not, but I was thrilled that at least one of those murders looked like an accident.  Gold medal.
  • Vice Assassination was a cakewalk.  Waited until nightfall to do this job.  I had a great line of sight to score a straight-on headshot with the flash suppressed normal sniper rifle (one of the Gold medal stips is to escape undetected so the key is to use a weapon that doesn't make a loud bang) and as soon as the hooker got into the john's car, BLAM~!  BACK AND TO THE LEFT~!  And then I made my clean getaway  There is a bodily fluid / stained clothing joke in there somewhere but I'll leave it alone.  Gold medal.
  • Ah, the Bus Assassination.  Only in GTA can you run over a well known investment banker with a transit vehicle full of witnesses and make the dash scott free.  And I had Franklin dressed in Chamberlain Family green, too.  Not exactly a subtle contract killing.  Gold medal.
  • If you are doing the stock market thing in conjunction with Lester's assassination missions, definitely invest in the recovery of the rival company after you sell your holdings in the company you boosted if that option is open (you can't do that after The Bus Assassination because Vapid does not have a rival company in the fake stock market).  I made an extra 40% to 70% profit by betting on Redwood and Façade to come out of their slumps after cashing out my holdings in Debonair and Fruit.  Mike had over a billion dollars before I started buying movie theaters and both Trevor and Franklin had close to $800 million.  My last hurrah in Story Mode will be Michael buying the golf course.
  • It says that the cinemas I bought will now have screenings.  I saw the actor list for Meltdown in the closing credits, so I guess it is in the film rotation with Capolavaro and Loneliest Robot In Great Britain.  I will have to check it out either in game or on the YouTubes.
  • Aw, only Franklin or Michael can buy Hookies.  So much for Trevor responding to rowdiness calls from the bar manager as an excuse to kill more members of the Lost MC.
  • The cash calculator on the Stats tab is definitely broken.   It says that all three characters are in the hole close to $1.5 billion, but everyone has a shit ton of disposable income right now.  I guess it can't cope with large sums of money spontaneously added to a bank account.
  • Trevor is back to doing weird shit in his switch clips.   My folks walked into the Family Room just in time to see him trying to flush a human leg down the toilet.  Thank God he wasn't doing the other thing he does in the bathroom. 
  • He also woke up drunk in Paleto Bay.  I'm not sure if this was a Trevor Is Trippin' thing, but a REALLY heavy set woman in a thong bikini walked past him just as he was coming out of the beer coma.  I've never seen a character model like that in a swimsuit before.  Usually the females wearing bathing suits in the game are all adult film star proportionate, or at least the ones at Vespucci Beach are.
  • The only properties left to buy are (I think) Hookies and the Golf Course,  I had Franklin buy Smoke On The Water this morning along with Trevor purchasing Pitchers and Michael bought all of the movie theaters. Michaels owns the Marina where his stolen catamaran is berthed (I will have to check out this luxury yacht that supposedly came with new DLC), Higgins Heli-tours (I was kinda bummed to discover that this is just a rotary wing pad and you can't take aerial tours of the city), Sonar Collections, and The Tequi-la-la, Franklin owns Downtown Cab, the Scrap Yard, Los Santos Customs in Sandy Shores, and the Tow Truck impound lot, while Trevor owns McKenzie Airfield and the Hen House and runs the Vanilla Unicorn and Sandy Shores Airfield after the.. er.. hostile takeovers.  Somehow I encountered a glitch that gave Franklin the LSA Hangar for free after completing one of Devin Weston's car theft missions.
  • I really should get Trevor a nicer airplane to garage in Sandy Shores, but the jet black Cuban I have there kinda fits the aesthetic of that shitty hangar. 
  • If I get in a good session of gaming this evening, tonight should be the last time I play this game seriously in story mode.  When I get my XBone on the centennial anniversary of the first snowball fight in Hell, I may get another copy to run around in GTA Online .  After three years and two almost but not quite playthroughs, the end of an era is nearly here.
  • Duh, JT, buying stock also count as a purchase.  I unlocked the A Lot Of Cheddar achievement when I put my cash into Facade after selling off all of my assets in Fruit.  Didn't have to own all of the properties after all.
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8 hours ago, misanthrope304 said:

Sidenote, I was in one of my garages the other day and watched a pickup truck brute fuck a mustang, true story...I have video and sent it to some people here.

I still don't know how that happened

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Almost forgot.  Michael also got money from the Bike Theft #1 random encounter on Little Big Horn Avenue in El Rancho.  The kid you help out is the CEO of an organic pet food company and he give you stock in his company as a reward.  

The stock is already at its peak so your only option is to sell it as soon as you get the text that the holdings are in your investment portfolio.

I used the money from that encounter to finance all of the purchases I had to make for the Epsilon missions.

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42 minutes ago, Robert C said:

Did your cars get possessed by the spirits of all those dead hookers?

I am trying to pretend that I am working really hard on these d-base issues with the SharePoint Intranet portal.  If I laugh too loudly, I will clue people in that I am goofing off a little.

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