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GTA 5 Jesus mod:  tigpK7H.gif

 

 

 

 

 

 

GTA 5 "Moon Moon" mod: ewRkyNQ.gif

 

 

 

If you haven't heard of "moon moon" you simply have not lived...I laughed, I cried, I couldn't breathe for a short time...I may have been under the influence..Anyway, a quick google search for "moon moon" should do the trick.

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Sorry stout i will take the blame. I showed the crew how to be dickheads in freemode. But i blame burke for talkin me into gettin the game on 360. Was gonna buy it on ps3 so really its his fault but dalm how else was i gonna meet my neighbor and my fellow brethren. Memories made but more forgotten. Laughs are plentiful and cussin is deep. More than not we play while we should sleep. If we all end up in the slammer for life we will still run loose and maybe more wild. Without hesitation or fear for remand, we could blow up everyones personal car throughout the land. In freemode or juvie we will remain the best crew by far cause we are the crew THE DVDR.

If i hafta blow up burkes speed buggy 10000 times stout im gonna try to get in with ya.

Oh and im lovin black flag. Actually been playin it a lil here and there. Cant get on tonight again gotta work on my suppose to be off day.

 

Yeah, you've definitely been a bad influence.  Not just in GTA either.  I took the dogs out a few nights ago when I realized I needed to go myself.  If I start listening to John Prine and telling people how my farts smell, I'm blaming you.

 

 

I'd like to use the rest of the month's likes on this, please.

 

 

I've had a pretty interesting day in Los Santos. Decided to get on and fart around a little bit. One of my daily objectives was a Last Team Standing, so I hit quick job on my phone and hoped something would load. Turned out to be Snipers vs. Stunters. I think one of you mentioned that one before, but it was my first time doing it. We definitely need to do that when we're all on next time - it was some of the most fun I've had solo. On the second round, I was a sniper - 2 on 2. My partner gets killed, and they end up knocking me off the platform. I survived the fall and them clipping me a couple times, trying to run me over. I hop a wall, and they both come at me with crowbars. I killed one, and me and the last guy had a back-and-forth until he got me. It was some Benny Hill shit - cracked me up.

 

Went back to freemode and noticed one guy was killing a ton of people. I went down to check him out and I'm still not sure if he was glitching or not. I never saw him do it on the screen, but on the mini-map, he was zipping around all over the place. His gun sounded like it had a much faster fire rate too. He whipped my ass three times in a row, but the tables turned a little and I managed to start killing him. Finished with me down 5-3, but the last two of my kills were in a row, and his bitch ass went to passive and then left. I'll call it a victory.

 

I then went to finish my last objective - kill someone while off the radar. Simple enough - that's basically like breathing for all of us.

 

There were only four people in the room at that point, so I picked out the one in the east side pay and spray. Got in cover outside the door, threw two proximity mines on the ramp out of there, then queued up my off-the-radar call with Lester and waited with my auto shotgun. When the guy came out, I hit A to go off the radar and shot the guy. I got a case of the limbertail and drove into the LA river to hide and check the guy's level. He was a level 5. I felt that rare twitch of guilt and messaged him saying: "Sorry - it was for an objective. Need any help?"

 

He never responded, but over the course of the next several minutes, I see these messages twice: "RUkered has killed NWA X GTA" and "The personal vehicle you have destroyed...". Those two proximity mines I threw out as insurance in case the other guy got away from me whipped his ass twice (and cost me a lot of money). I'm definitely headed to juvie.

 

I think this will be my new tactic if I know I'm going to be in freemode a while: immediately head to the most popular pay and sprays and throw out proximity mines at each entrance. There's not much in the game more satisfying than seeing that you've killed someone while you're halfway across the map doing something else. It's like the GTA equivalent of stocks - "My money works for me."

 

I went into passive to make a sandwich and came back to NWA X GTA trying to ramp off some steps in a cop car to hop a wall and take me out. I just sat and watched the show while I ate. He never got me.

 

Edit - Mis, that shit is hilarious.

 

Edit 2 - If I'm lying, I'm dying - went to a new room and threw proximity mines at each entrance of the central pay and spray. Killed two within a couple seconds of each other.

 

Last edit and I swear I'll shut up - Apparently the proximity mines glitched or something. I have gotten five kill messages and two bad sport messages while I've been somewhere else chasing a dot down. I don't know what's going on.

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I woulda helped out by sticking a pitchfork up the other end.  Is it always that much of a pain in the ass trying to do something with randoms?

 

If I wanted to play that guy's style, I'd be running raids in Destiny, instead of playing GTA.  Fuck that, and him.

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Shit yeah. He was annoyin as hell follow me he says. I never wreck he says then 2 seconds later he smacks a car and flips over the hood. He pissed me off so i follow the route and beat his ass by 2 minutes to the boat. Thats called a long cut. Trust me i know all about em.

And yeah its always annoying with randoms. I was hopin stout could get out on a work release finish the heist then go back to finish his time.

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Yeah, that made me really sad last night when I saw you guys on, because I thought "shit, there's four of us, we could've worked on a heist." I haven't done any part of that last one because I'd so much rather do it with people I can stand to talk to.

 

I looked for a stock picture of a kid looking sad while the rest of the kids played on the playground to post here, but I couldn't find one.

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I screwed up and didn't make it to the boat twice if I remember right.

I have no idea what happened to me last night. I guess my connection dropped or something. All I know is I woke up in bed with a head that feels like it weighs 97 pounds. Too much Gatorade I reckon.

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At least freemode worked out well last night.  We threw a beach party before the heist bullshit.  Got challenged to two one on ones by sub-level 10 guys.  Not sure why it's always me that gets challenged to those. 

 

The room I spawned into in the middle of our heist fiasco was some sort of organized war between two guys in tanks and a bunch of guys in choppers.  I did my part by driving a sticky bombed Prius up one of the tanks' ass before we started trying that damn heist again.

 

I did my best to get sent behind bars with Stout after we punted on the heist.  I spawned into the middle of a bigass scrum and figured I 'd take out a couple dots before I went to bed.  Stupid me, I was still killing em two hours later.  I know I took out at least 15 personal vehicles.  Most of the scrum broke up after a while, so I decided see how the game chat was, since it always seems to entertain Stout.  There was only one guy on the chat, and he kept complaining about somebody being a retarded-ass n*******.  Took me a while to realized that he meant me.  I'd already killed him a bunch, so then I really went to town on him.  Some guy called Elite something called a mugger on me, and tried to come after me as well, but he kept getting killed for his troubles.  The guy that was on the chat finally called mercs, then went in passive on me.  I didn't want to give him the satisfaction, so I hightailed it to my apartment. 

 

I was gonna drop off at that point, but I noticed the chat guy had left, and that Elite boy was on the beach.  I only managed to kill him one more time before he left too.  That left me and one other guy in the game.  He was up by Zancudo, but he had a bounty on him.  Plus, I wanted to clear the room at that point, so I gave chase.  Turned out he was in a jet.  He tried to take me out just north of that tunnel under the base, but he flew a little too straight and got shot down.  He should've gone into passive, or left, but he didn't seem to get the hint.  I started switching to stupid weapons just to break up the monotony of killing him.  He challenged me to two deathmatches, and lost both 5-0.  I finally got curious what the kill total was and charged him carrying a golf club.  Turns out I was up 37-2. 

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I screwed up and didn't make it to the boat twice if I remember right.

I have no idea what happened to me last night. I guess my connection dropped or something. All I know is I woke up in bed with a head that feels like it weighs 97 pounds. Too much Gatorade I reckon.

 

You were fine, man.  We all fucked it up at least once, even our heist expert.  I had to go on mute so I could laugh my ass off in peace when I watched him plow his bike right into a police car not 5 seconds after declaring that he never wrecks.

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Hell yes i did too. I had to mute it a couple of times. I actually dont know if i was muted when i wanted to talk and talkin when i wanted to be muted.

But yeah we all screwed up several times. I did more so than anybody.

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Did either of y'all try shooting those big-ass chandeliers in the bank lobby while you were doing crowd control?  I spent forever cracking myself up shooting those things with a mini-gun and watching them bounce all over the ceiling. 

 

That one one cop taking 3 of us out like a fucking terminator was good too.

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I LOVE to get a game-chat play-by-play from my victim. I search them out - see who's chatting, go after them. I usually go after the most annoying person in the chat. Anyone using game chat to broadcast their favorite rap song gets an automatic waypoint set on them.

 

You know you're doing something right when someone on the chat accuses you of being in god mode.

 

I had a great one the other day when someone was talking shit (never a good idea), so I set a waypoint for him, and apparently several other people in the game chat had the same idea without saying a word to each other - there were four vehicles after him at one point. I was passing other players not even taking swipes at them 'cause we were on a mission.

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Stout - I actually did have a Gatorade just now along with some Goody's powder. That's the Melraz hangover special. Me and Danny Glover are getting too old for this shit.

I don't know if I mentioned it last night, but I was on earlier and met my fucking maker. We were up in the marsh or whatever - out where Mis made that sniping deathmatch. This kid kept wearing me out and then killing himself so he'd respawn somewhere else. That was pissing me off, but I guess it's a good tactic.

He's up something like 14-1, and then I get a chat invite. I never do it, but I think fuck it why not. I'm like hey what's up, ready for him to talk a bunch of shit. He didn't, but sure enough, he was about 12.

He was just calmly chatting me up while he kept whipping my ass. We did a one-on-one toward the end, and finished up our "battle" with him up 23-2.

The kid asks - would you like to be friends or keep battling? I said, uhhh considering you've blistered my ass, let's be friends.

He then took me around the map showing me good sniping spots and how his crew defends them. Nice enough kid, but damn if that wasn't some humbling shit.

I asked him how long he's been playing this game. He thinks for a few seconds and says "Around four months."

I immediately shut the damn Xbox off and reevaluated my life for a while.

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Shit, I forgot the funnies thing about my solo freemode run.  About 5 minutes after the chat guy left he started sending me repeated party invites.  I said no way in hell to that, so then he sends me a message saying "join for xbl trial".  I have no idea what that meant.  Either I missed a GTA court date, or he wanted to see if I was good enough to join his crew after going about 20-2 on him.

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He wanted to give you a trial membership to XBox Live, which is weird, 'cause you don't really need one. I guess it would keep you from buying another one for a while at some point. I've gotten messages from randoms asking me if I have one 'cause their gold membership ran out and they didn't have the money to buy another one.

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I'm joining one of those 1000000 RP deathmatches right now. I know it's a trap, but I have to see one of these shit shows for myself.

Edit - well that was a stupid decision

 

Only join em if they have all weapons unlocked.  Sometimes people forget to turn that off, and you can rack up a shitload of kills.

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As it turns out, this one wasn't too awfully terrible once I got into it. Everybody started with forced crowbars, but to get to the guns, you had to walk along this narrow sign and make these hard jumps. Everybody had an opportunity to get to them.

Mis - that looks like a normal drive to a mission with Melraz.

I'm in a room right now with a guy named BETER TH4N U. Guess where I'm headed.


I was getting some snacks to gear up for a mission when this happened.




I then get messages asking "u like that" and "are u a girl".

I'm taking this asshole out to sea in a chopper if I can pull it off.
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