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Its all good roast i thought it was funny shit dude. I dont get butt hurt from bein cussed out on this game. If i did i would never play again. And besides i know imma fucker its understood. I am the lil fucker of the crew. Not to low to do anything. I had put some examples up but dalm they made me look psycho so i had to delete them to keep the last little bit of dignity and respect that i have left.

Hell yeah if im off wrestlemania i will be at hooters watchin that shit. Hey stout can i getta ride home?

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So, I trigger the Prison Break heist beginning, get four people in the room, start to download the mission, then it glitches out and says I don't have enough guys. Drops me back in Freemode, but my Apartment is Green, so I have the heist active anyway, right? Wrong. Nothing on the planning board, not press > to trigger the heist in my planning room, nothing. Call Lester to try and cancel it, so I can trigger it again. He says yes. And my apartment stays green, and I still have replay hesit greyed out and cancel heist as an option.

I may be terminally fucked here.

Assuming this was our heist; It froze on some off-white outside world on me. Along with those great XMas trees lying about my front walk.

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Y'all acted like I had leprosy or something, because everybody except Mis dropped as soon as I got on. 

 

Mis and I played long enough to ruin some people's days in freemode.  No really good fights, though there were a couple decent ones.  We did manage to make complete fools out of two guys that kept trying to come out of my bounty.  One of em finally got the bounty, but I went about 12-0 on the other guy, and the kills just kept getting funnier.  I was up on the mall and saw him coming up that giant, winding staircase.  Threw a proximity mine on the top, even though I figured he'd be smart enough to know it was there.  He wasn't though.  Next time he came up in passive, ran behind one of those big AC units, and came out.  Didn't help him though, as he ran right into the sticky trap I set up for him.  He also at multiple RPGs at exactly the same spot on top of the pay and spray, and died multiple times trying to come up in Buzzards.  We finally left after the tanks started appearing, in addition to the Insurgents.

 

 

I did learn several.useful bits of info.

- Every crew with "Texas" in the name continues to suck.  This continues to piss me off, being a Texas myself.  I'm consoling myself by assuming them to be fans of the university, rather than actual Texans.

- The new Savage helicopter gunship seems to be deadlier than the Buzzard, but a single heat seeker round will bring it down

- As I figured, no POV charge for blowing up the Insurgent with the turret.  Managed to get one with 4 occupants last night.

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Two days in a row, easy daily objectives. Yesterday: Fall 350 feet and survive (I just did Halo, it could not have been easier), Participate in a Survival, Play Darts. Today: Do a Flight School mission, Do a Capture (Hold), Use Bull Shark Testosterone. Finally, after all this time, I actually had a reason to phone Brucie.

 

Also, it seems my Heist progression is back and I can host Prison Break again. If I can find three guys.

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I decided to prowl around in Freemode a bit, laying (mostly) low, seeing how the new stuff's changing things.

 

That armored SUV (the one without the gun) just plain sucks in the wrong hands. It's like everything everyone hates about the Zentorno dudes times 1,000. It doesn't go down with one RPG shot or Allah Akbar, and if you do manage to bring it down, you're out $16,000 plus, have racked up bad sport points and the enemies can get it redelivered to their feet in a phone call. Not cool.

 

Two dudes were in one just wrecking the map - they were clearly BMOCs. I decided something needed to be done, so I aimed to take them out. I aimed and missed. They racked up about 5 straight on me before I managed to put two RPGs in that armored bastard and finally blew it up.

 

I headed into another room and finally decided to be the shitstain I am when two dudes near me were scrapping (just about the only two scrapping in the room) when I notice they've started a one-on-one deathmatch against each other. So that means I'm off their radar. So I introduced myself to one with an Allah Akbar and proceeded to kill both of them about 8 times apiece before their deathmatch mercifully ended and I popped back up on their radar. One immediately left.

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I managed to finish the last two setups and the actual heist (the Trevor one) with three different groups of randoms yesterday. One was even a damn level four. They did a pretty good job, although there were a few moments where I probably scared my neighbors because I was yelling, "WHAT IN THE BLUE FUCK ARE YOU DOING????????" I split the take evenly in an effort to keep people from leaving. I felt like Avery Markham on Justified - "It's a small price to pay for loyalty." And I swear you guys ought to let me give you more of the take. Even though I paid the upfront costs, 15% is some hot bullshit.

 

I'm no mogul like Stout, but I do have 5 million, so I'm not too concerned with money.

 

Speaking of that 5 million, I'm actually back down under 5 after my little solo foray into freemode earlier today. I got on, but didn't do any heist stuff - I'm saving the last (I'm assuming it's the last) heist to do with crew.

 

One guy had my number and was up 5 to 1, but then I got in a groove and was wearing out a couple others. It was the typical show - kill them, proximity on their car, rinse and repeat. One guy finally sent mercenaries after me. That's a proud moment right there - you know you've really pissed them off. Between all the stickies, promixity mines, and blown up POVs, I lost about 100k.

 

I finished it off with an off-the-radar Allah Akbar. Managed to take out three at once, then ran like a scalded dog to my apartment before they had a chance to retaliate. Good thing too, because they were in one of the heist vehicles. I don't know which one, but I could see the icon headed my way on the map. I then sat on the couch and called a mugger on one of them so I could watch it on TV. That will never stop being funny to me. The dude stopped in his car, and here comes a guy out of an alleyway, hauling ass like the T-1000. I don't even care that it's chickenshit - it's hilarious.

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Nah dude. If you host you gotta pay the start up and dont make cash durin the setup missions. Everybody else does. I havent ever added up the setups and actual heist and compared the total cash to the hosts minus the start up but its probably purdy dalm close to breakin even.

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I would have to guess the default split works out to be even.

 

I still wanna do the Trevor heist with crew on hard difficulty. I did it on normal and thought it was too easy, but I'd hate to see it on hard.

 

And it is NEVER cowardly to screw with people while watching it unfold on TV. That's a GTA Online tradition.

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There's a youtuber who has a whole series in which he does nothing but send a mugger after random players online and watches it on TV.

 

Looked into Daily Objective bonuses. 7 Days straight is $100,000 (in addition to the $175,000 you'll have earned from the 7 days you did it) and 15000 RP. 28 Days is $500,000 (plus the $400,000 for 4x7 days, and the $700,000 for 28x1 Day), and 50,000 RP. So it adds up to $1.6 million over the 4 weeks.

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So yeah, when are they going to fix story mode so that using e-mail does not break my phone?

 

The WEAZEL News thing is bullshit.  Watching other players do dumb shit is the best form of physical comedy and I always watch WEAZEL to see if there are any glitchers or twankers rushing about.

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I headed into another room and finally decided to be the shitstain I am when two dudes near me were scrapping (just about the only two scrapping in the room) when I notice they've started a one-on-one deathmatch against each other. So that means I'm off their radar. So I introduced myself to one with an Allah Akbar and proceeded to kill both of them about 8 times apiece before their deathmatch mercifully ended and I popped back up on their radar. One immediately left.

 

I have done this myself.  I see a couple of guys go into a one on one, and just think "oh you poor fools" to myself.  Then I try to show them the error of their ways.

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Why is it that other people get Ride An Amusement Park Ride for their Daily Challengers and I get Compete in X-Capture, Score an Off-Radar Kill, or Kill a Revealed Player?

 

WHERE IS MY LOW HANGING FRUIT??

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I feel your pain J.T. One of mine yesterday was participate in a one-on-one deathmatch. Despite pissing off three different people, nobody would accept the damn invitation. I have yet to complete a single objective.

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I kept flinging myself off cranes near Simeon's garage in an attempt to get the "fall x feet without dying" one when I noticed they changed objectives on me in mid-stream.

 

Objectives sound like something that would be easier to do in a Jobber Thursday-type situation.

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Objectives sound like something that would be easier to do in a Jobber Thursday-type situation.

 

Except when JT misreads his and you get stuck in Capture hell...

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Objectives sound like something that would be easier to do in a Jobber Thursday-type situation.

 

Except when JT misreads his and you get stuck in Capture hell...

 

 

How was I to know t that there are different types of Capture matches?  Seemed like the same flavor of barely tolerable Hell to me.

 

Don't front like you won't need me to job one out to you sometime.

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There's a parachute jump near the airport carpark called HALO. You don't open your parachute until you've freefalled (freefallen?) through all but one of the checkpoints... it's not falling 350 feet, it's falling 3500 feet. Easy peasy.

 

EDIT to add: We were discussing this tonight. There should be a Daily objective to enter an open lobby, and empty it of everyone but friends and crew. Although that's more of an Everyday Objective. The "Wait, Havoc was here?" achievement might be harder to regulate, but that's a private joke that only one other person on the board will get.

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