DEATH VALLEY DRIVERETTE 07212015! IF U DN'T LIKE AYUMU HONDO, U CN GO FK YRSLF

[DEAN]

DEATH VALLEY DRIVERETTE 07212015

 

I’m going to watch a bunch of guys that I’ve never seen before (that I remember) and hopefully find more folks to be into.  Let’s go, shall we.

 

SINGLES GOING STEADY!

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MINORU TANAKA vs SEIKI YOSHIOKA- WRESTLE-1- 7/4/2015- {RASMUSSEN]:  Maybe I’ve seen Seiki Yoshioka before or maybe I haven’t.  May be NOW he is to the point that I will remember them!  YES!  Minoru Tanaka I used to love.  I’m glad we never married because we’ve grown so far apart.  I felt he has been cruising on his 90’s rep since before he was ever great or anything.   Our boy Yosh is a slight fella.  I like his elbows and he moves really well.  His offense is NJ Junior but he does lay it in so I’m still on board.  Here he is good on the mat- in that it he makes it look hurtful and weepy.  He works on the knee and it looks cool.  Minoru brainbusters Yoshioka to the floor to transition to offense and I remember that Minoru Tanaka used to be fun to watch.  Tanaka sinks in the choke and he looks good in this.  Maybe I shouldn’t have completely embargoed his every match since 2002.  He seems pretty fired up here.  Yoshioka sells it pretty well and makes the ropes.  He also punches Minoru in the face.  Minoru beats him death in response.  Minoru laying it in is the really good Minoru.  Yoshioka drop kicks to stay on offense.  Tanaka hits a really good lookin’ Asai Moonsault and he sells it as an old guy who just did something he shouldn’t do anymore- which is pretty great.  Minoru sinks in a crossface and  then it goes to pretty much rote New Japan Juniors- which is fine here because they are actually fired up.  Yoshioka hits a Falcon Arrow and a Swanton and then a Shining Wizard for two.  So yeah, this style has been completely passed by.  Tanaka hits a brainbuster and I get back into it a little.  Another crossface and I can’t really criticize the selling or execution, it’s just I dig this style anymore and neither of these guys really do anything to make me give a shit.  Even the end when they start beating on each other, it’s so ¼ Big Japan Strong Style.  The finisher by Tanaka- the Unprotected Death Valley Bomb was pretty cool.  The following Released Dragon and Released Tequila Sunrise Suplex were pretty great.  Toprope stomp for two is also pretty fun.  The strange lariat thing was pretty good.  I dunno.  I didn’t love this match but I should probably keep watching both of these guys.  It needed like five more things to make it really good.  I’m a little confused how I feel about this.  

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2xt04s_minoru-tanaka-c-vs-seiki-yoshioka-wrestle-1_sport

 

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ YUKI SATO vs AYUMU HONDA- K-DOJO- 7/12/2015- [RASMUSSEN]:  I don't know these guys from Adam.  I'm taking on all comers!  Maybe these guys rule!  They might suck!  They probably are right in the middle of the Bell curve where I won't hate them but not really care about them one way or the other afterwards either.  It's way of the world!  You put up the goods or you tell your story walking, fatboy!  So, the only way to the TRUTH is to go.........THROUGH!  Let us explore the world of wrestlers Dean has never probably seen! YES!  The journey beginz (I am street...)......  According to Cagematch.net, Honda is 26 with 3 years under his belt and Sato is 29 with 9 years under his belt. Take these scrubs and HOOK'EM UP!  They fuck around for the first few minutes with assorted stalling.  They do junior heavyweight in-ring things to kill more time until we hopefully get to the meat of the action.  Sato has people at ring-side to help him but they don't really beat the shit out of anyone; they just kinda trip people and do low-grade evil- sorta like a sleazy Japanese Indie nWo Wolfpack.  Honda WILL fly into chairs like a CHAMP and will lean into chairs being thrown at him like an even BIGGER, LESS SMARTER CHAMP, so I'm starting to warm up to these two.  Sato slams him on the ramp and beats him with a different, harder chair- hitting a complete 15 on the Masato Tanaka I Don't Want To Remember The 1990s Or My First Two Girlfriends Chairshot scale.  Hondo fights to transition but Sato beats on him more.  And it looks like Hondo (please note that for some reason, I decided in my hilariously ravaged brain that Honda suddenly became Hondo ((A movie (((I FUCKING SWEAR))) I was watching earlier this evening)) and cannot bring myself to change all the "o"s to "a"s.  Plus I think it's pretty funny when I think about it.  HE IS NOW HONDO FOREVER.) gets some HARDWAY COLOR~! from leaning into the last chairshot.  But while I love blood more than anybody- EVEN YOU!, it is starting to feel a little squashy. Hondo battles back but his strikes won't make you forget Kohei Sato or anything.  I dunno.  It's hard to tell how good Hondo is because of the rookie match nature of this.  At least I can tell Sato will beat the crap out of you, which will make me want to keep your matches.  Actually, the fact that Hondo will bleed and lean into crazy shit makes me want to see more of him.  Then it TRANSFORMS from squash/rookie match into an actual straight wrestling match- where it gets quickly good.  Hondo is fun when he finally gets on offence and fatter boy tope con hilos the People of Sato.  He does a really nice Alligator Spin Into A Cross-Armbreaker and does a really nice Keylock.  This definitely got good quick! YEA!  Finding new wrestlers to watch is fun when you find new wrestlers to watch- that are fun!  To watch!  Goddamn, Hondo is a freak- going throat first into the bottom rope on a catapult and making it look way nastier than it has any right to be.  I give it a Doom level of catapult and I give Hondo the Lee Scott What The Fuck Are You Doing You Maniac salute.  Hondo hits a really nice missile dropkick and then Judos all the People Of Sato with flips and kick.  Hello!  FUN!   Hondo does a SWEET Rolling Cross-Arm Breaker while Sato is holding a Kendo stick- which had like 75 ways to ruin both of their careers, but they pull it off and YES!  they pass my personal creepy audition!  Especially Honda.  He's a keeper.  I am keeping him.  I liked Sato too, but not as much.  

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2xx97s_yuki-sato-c-vs-ayumu-honda-k-dojo_sport

 

Tomorrow:  More EXPLORATION!

[Phil Schneider]

I am encouraging you to move on past the corpse of Japanese wrestling. Its 2015, it is a weak tea version of what used to be good. Go watch some Lucha or some old shit

[DEAN]

I am encouraging you to move on past the corpse of Japanese wrestling. Its 2015, it is a weak tea version of what used to be good. Go watch some Lucha or some old shit

Are you kidding, I'm watching Joshi now.  I am through the looking glass.