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Wrestling Clichés That Should Be Abolished


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So basically that "sports entertainment" should die in a tire fire, and "wrassling" should come back? Fine by me, although I must preface that I haven't watched WWE in at least ten years, largely because of Vince and CO's crap. . . .

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The contract signing same two guys existing in the same room, that ends in a brawl.

Fuckin' Russo. When I first started watching during the Attitude era, the single least-explicable thing on the whole show was how apparently every wrestler on the show was a total psychopath who literally couldn't come within touching distance of any other person without physically assaulting them.

I'd also be happy if they'd stop playing theme music when a wrestler does a surprise run-in, or if theme music at least stopped having hypnotic properties that freezes the in-ring wrestlers dead in their tracks.

The music's occult powers are even stronger in CHIKARA:

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Every feud needing 3 PPV matches. Come the fuck on.

That's actually one of my favorite tropes that I grew up with and dates back to the old days of MSG and Philly shows.

 

 

I don't mind if match one is a regular match that ends in some BS CO finish and match two is a cage match to keep it from being a count out, etc..  that's logical progression. What we get today is far from logical. We have people having blood feud matches without the history or the hate.

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The contract signing that ends in a brawl.

Contract signings need to go away altogether.

I know they can and have worked but it's been beaten in to the ground too much by this point.

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I always hated that in some matches the referee will allow the guys to brawl outside for an hour and not even bother to count but other times the fucker is counting to ten like it's his job (which it is).

 

Aw man, I always took that as refs having different styles and different levels of latitude that they'd give. Kinda like the NFL. On one hand, you have your Terry McAulays. On the other hand, you have your Ron fucking Winters. And then, there's the occasional Ed Hochuli.

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The contract signing that ends in a brawl.

Contract signings need to go away altogether.

I know they can and have worked but it's been beaten in to the ground too much by this point.

 

 

Regal was the only one in 20 years to make it interesting during the Zayn/Owens signing, "Now this is not going to end up like all other contract signings".

 

I would take out that stupid move where Wrestler A gets whipped into the corner, but pops up off the ropes so that Wrestler B can duck underneath them then be amazed when Wrestler A isn't there.

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The sequence in every Cena match where he shoulder tackles a guy who then will wildly swing and miss Cena, who then gives the guy the Protobomb and then the Five Knuckle Shuffle before finishing with the AA.

I understand every babyface since Hogan has a signature sequence but Cena's feels so unnatural and scripted.

If you're wrestling Cena and he shoulder tackles you why would you ever stand up and swing at him? It has LITERALLY never worked.

If they mixed it up and had someone roll out of the ring or actually succeed in clocking Cena it would make it more meaningful when Cena nails the whole sequence.

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The Punk matches did a nice job of making Cena work for that sequence. He would start it and Punk would cut him off at various points until he finally nailed the whole thing after several attempts.

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"Look, someone's brought a cake into a wrestling ring. How unusual. I hope it doesn't get messed up in some way."

As someone that suffered a back injury from being powerbombed onto a cake, I support this.

(Seriously, that shit hurt more than the thumbtacks did.)

Was it a Duck Tales cake with a file or bomb or hacksaw in it???

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Every single "superstar"(also that word gets banned) looking like they just stepped off a porn shoot. Bring back the multiple physiques, the hairy guys, the "dad" bods, but they could go all night, ie the Dusty's of the world. . . 

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They haven't had one in a bit, but why can't a wedding go off without interference?  Sometimes, the interference is great.  But why can't one of these fake betrothals end normally with I do and a reception.  They can always  go for a quickie divorce or annullment later.

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Am I mistaken in that the Jake Roberts angle with Savage and Elizabeth wasn't shown until Superstars the following week? That's the way to actually go about it in my opinion.

I also liked the Golddust/Aksana wedding where I think the preacher quit and Dusty Rhodes was all "See...I had a feeling something like this would happen so I got a backup." then Ted DiBiase came out.

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Oh I can't believe I forgot this one, it's gotta be number two behind the heel authority figure...

 

Fucking non-title matches. Especially since the champ loses 90% of the time. Could you imagine how ridiculous that would look in UFC? Imagine Anderson Silva losing a non-title match Chael Sonnen. It's like the laziest way to build a contender ever.

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The other thread reminded me of this one that always makes me roll my eyes.

Matches that go to a time limit draw (or sometimes Iron Man matches), where one of the guys hits his finishing move just seconds before the match is over and the time runs out just as the referee counts to three.

 

The spot itself would be ridiculous enough, but since the timing has to be impeccable, I've seen this being botched several times, which makes it even worse.

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