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APRIL 2015 MOVIE THREAD


RIPPA

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Idea: Fast & Furious spin off movie dealing with the insurance companies that have to deal with the mess left behind after these dudes run through town and wreck everything in sight.

 

They're the real heroes.

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If Marvel continues to get the 'Do whatever you like' from the TV industry, I could see them actually doing a Damage Control mini-series or something. Don't see that anyone else would go that route... anyone who pitched an idea like that to a Hollywood studio would come out with it re-developed into something like the Adjustment Bureau. Or a Steven Seagal movie where he's an insurance adjuster, but used to be a Special Forces mercenary killer.

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Boy was Draft Day clearly made for women and people who don't like sports

 

I think I was asked to suspend my disbelief more during that movie than I am when watching wrestling.

 

When the Jags trading the #6 pick isn't the most absurd thing in the movie... yeah...

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Boy was Draft Day clearly made for women and people who don't like sports

I think I was asked to suspend my disbelief more during that movie than I am when watching wrestling.

When the Jags trading the #6 pick isn't the most absurd thing in the movie... yeah...

I somehow managed to enjoy that movie but you are spot-on. I just loved the way Costner's baby mama and mom got all pissy that they didn't have his full attention ON DRAFT DAY. Yeah, can't imagine why he'd be preoccupied and busy on that day...
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Is Guardians of the Galaxy still sitting on your Library Pile of Shame?  You need to get rollin', homie.

 

Yes but I have to wait to watch that with my wife and we generally only tend to have that big a block of time on the weekends.

 

I did make her suffer through the rest of Skyfall this past Sunday so Guardians is a must for this weekend

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Boy was Draft Day clearly made for women and people who don't like sports

 

I think I was asked to suspend my disbelief more during that movie than I am when watching wrestling.

 

When the Jags trading the #6 pick isn't the most absurd thing in the movie... yeah...

Aw man, I'm a sports nerd, but I totally loved this movie.  I mean it's clear from the very get-go you've got to turn your brain off to watch it with any real knowledge of pro sports but it's still so fun.  Amazing cast, too, some of whom just turn up for a scene to chew the scenery (Sam Elliott) and others with very minor roles who still seem to enjoy it (Terry Crews! Timothy Simons!).  It's not good, but it's still totally enjoyable.

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I didn't hate it but hoo boy was some of it comical

 

Yeah - Sam Elliott showing up for one scene was weird.

 

God I am still shocked there wasn't a Jerry Jones cameo

 

I was deeply deeply amused that they chose the Seahawks to be the "villains"

 

EDIT - Oh I also forgot to mention.

 

Visually it was... different.

I am not sure I would say I liked the constant wipes and the characters walking into different frames bit but I didn't dislike it. 

 

As I said - it was different so it at least had that going for it

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I watched Draft Day for the first time yesterday afternoon. Being from Cleveland, this movie should have come with a Trigger Warning. I wouldn't necessarily call it a bad movie, but I almost shit myself when the Browns traded three number ones in order to get a player whose own agent was like "Yeah dude you're gonna free fall". A fucking linebacker, no less! Because HEART~! 

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Whoever made Draft Day should never set foot in Jacksonville because he clearly thinks they're run by imbeciles. I thought the movie strained realism more than the last two Fast & Furious movies combined but when they managed to swing a second Top 5 first rounder in exchange for I believe it was like 2 second rounders because Kevin Costner bluffed the inept Jaguars GM I was like "Okay, this movie has lost me...."

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To be fair it was the #6 pick and it was for THREE 2nd round picks

 

But yeah - they make the deal and then the dopey Jacksonville front office is looking around the room all proud of themselves. All because the GM supposedly was all THE GUY I DRAFTED IS GONE!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO????

I was like "I really can't believe someone approved that"

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The Jaguars inept? That's impossible! They're owned by the same guy who thought Felix Magath was the man to keep Fulham in the premiership!

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Whoever made Draft Day should never set foot in Jacksonville because he clearly thinks they're run by imbeciles. I thought the movie strained realism more than the last two Fast & Furious movies combined but when they managed to swing a second Top 5 first rounder in exchange for I believe it was like 2 second rounders because Kevin Costner bluffed the inept Jaguars GM I was like "Okay, this movie has lost me...."

If they'd said the Lions, I'd be all "yep, this is a documentary"...
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I caught Afflicted last night on Showtime after months and months of forgetting to rent it from Redbox.  The horror mocumentary love child of REC, Chronicle, and Dracula is pretty fucking awesome.

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I caught Afflicted last night on Showtime after months and months of forgetting to rent it from Redbox.  The horror mocumentary love child of REC, Chronicle, and Dracula is pretty fucking awesome.

 

On this description alone I will probably check it out.

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Catching up on reviews...

Natural Born Killers - This is one that caused something of a stir when released back in 1994. It wasn't really something that appealed to me then and, until recently, I had never seen it. But...it got added to Netflix and lots of people told me it was good, so I figured I'd check it out. Natural Born Killers tells the story of Mickey (Woody Harrelson) and Mallory (Juliette Lewis), a young couple who set off on a reign of terror when Mickey is released from jail and they kill Mallory's abusive parents. What follows is a road trip full of cold-blooded murders - accompanied by tabloid-style media coverage that turns them into sort of anti-heros. They have legions of "fans" and are all over the place. Meanwhile, they're being pursued by a Jerry Springer-type TV host and a detective bent on bringing them to justice.

At the time of release, Killers was hailed for being a commentary on mass media and the glorification of violence - and in a lot of ways, it still succeeds in that message. With today's infatuation with reality TV and social media, a lot of the message here is still relevant.

Killers was also vilified for its over-the-top violence. Perhaps I'm jaded but, while being super-violent, this movie wasn't particularly gory. Lots of violence - lots of unrepentant violence - but no horror film-style gore.

Ultimately, though, Natural Born Killers is a movie and that's how I judge it. And, on that scale, it doesn't really succeed. Oliver Stone is trying too hard here to be artistic and weird. The intentionally over-the-top stuff mostly works but not always - the ending and the detective, IMHO, don't really work. And, finally, in the end, there's just not that much plot here. This was clearly a movie created with a message in mind and then a plot written around that. And that just doesn't work for me. 5/10.

Furious 7 - If you go into this movie expecting something completely ridiculous, you'll be entertained. If you go in expecting something that even remotely resembles reality, you'll be disappointed. I expected ridiculous and I was highly entertained. Dom and Brian and the crew are BACK and this time they're taking on Jason Statham as he tries to kill them off for messing up his brother. What follows is 100 minutes of the most ridiculous, unrealistic, over-the-top, ludicrous action you'll ever see. Dom and the gang are essentially invincible superheroes capable of emerging unscathed from - missiles shots to their cars, driving off of cliffs, jumping a car from one high rise tower to another to another, and all kinds of other stuff. Like I said - ridiculous. And yet, it's fun and stupid and all held together by the strong sense of team and family that has been a constant theme throughout the F&F series. As everyone is by now aware, Paul Walker died before filming was completed with his brothers stepping in and filling his role. The makers used CGI techniques to put Walker's face into the movie and, thanks to the fact that they'd done a super-high-res scan of Walker's face at some point, it looks really good. Other than the very-touching ending of the movie, I didn't notice the CGI at all. Well done, guys. So, if you like big, dumb action movies with lots of explosions, cars and hot women, this is your movie. 8/10.

Side note: Good grief, Ronda Rousey was terrible in this. She's in the movie for...maybe 60 seconds total and manages to stand out in that time for all the wrong reasons. Her facial expressions are comical - so obvious and posed and just...terrible. Her delivery, even in a movie that doesn't expect good acting, sticks out. She's as stiff and wooden here as a dried out 2x4.

Collateral Damage - After a bit of a side jaunt into movies like Jingle All the Way, this was seen to be something of a return to the 1980s-style action movie for Arnold Schwarzenegger. Here Arnie is seeking vengeance for his wife & son being killed in a terrorist attack. He goes into Colombia and manages to track down the guy responsible for his family's deaths. And then...well, explosions and violence occur. This is not a particularly violent movie and the special effects at times, particularly an ending explosion that sees Arnie nearly catch on fire, are laughable. Worst of all, this is just...boring. There's just nothing exciting here. And everybody seems to be basically phoning it in. Sorry Arnie, not your best. 3/10.

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Natural Born Killers is very much a product of it's time. After the Saw movies and their imitators redefined what violence in a mainstream US movie could be, it looks tame now. But coming before that, when gory horror from the 80s and 90s always had the supernatural monster antagonist, the idea that a bad human being/ hero of the movie could be that violent was shocking and horrifying... at the time. Just not now.

 

Good soundtrack though. NBK-> Lost Highway-> Zodiac -> Social Network -> Oscar for Reznor.

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NBK was Oliver Stone tripping on mushrooms in the desert. They edited it with literally a million cuts. It has Tommy Lee Jones acting like a Looney Tunes character. It has Rodney Dangerfield as an abusive child molester. How anyone could not appreciate that madness is beyond me.

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