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MARCH 2015 TV THREAD

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Sat down to watch Brooklyn 99, with plans to watch Last Man on Earth immediately after, and Hulu proceeded to spoil a pretty big plot point of Last Man while promoting it during an ad break. Thanks new media, thanks a lot.

 

Side note, the last ep of Brooklyn 99 was pretty meh, pretty boring episode from an otherwise enjoyable show.

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I'm also digging the heck out of Empire through two episodes, it's awesomely melodramatic, if a little too on the nose at times ("Is this King Lear now?"). They really need to give Gabourey Sidibe something to do though, such a waste of such a great actress so far. Terrence Howard treating her like shit better lead somewhere.

 

I don't think the show has been hurt too much by network restrictions, like I've seen some people complain about, but it would be nice if this was on HBO so they could really cut loose.

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I think I saw the same thing spoiled about Last Man on Earth on something I recorded on FOX or FS1 Friday or Saturday.

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Ryan Phillppe was king sized in Secrets & Lies.

How To Get Away With Murder got really really weird at the ending. Cliffhanger left me sad.

RIP Rebecca Sutter. Yeah, you were trifling and a pusher, but you were no murderer and you and Wes made a cute, if fucked up, couple.

I'd have thought you would bypass the show about a murdered kid.

 

 

I love mysteries but it is a tough watch.  The last episode of Broadchurch was tough to sit through.

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Empire is so ridiculous.

 

Everyone's having affairs. Backroom plot after backroom plot. Stunt casting. So, so much stunt casting. Noami Campbell! Courtney Love! M. Emmet Walsh....? (But seriously....FREE GABOUREY SIDIBE! Like for real, her highlight this season has been having Luscious throw things at her)

 

So many scarfs. Secret daughters that every one accepts at face value. Kids being thrown in the trash. I'm not even sure how to describe Andre and his wife's relationship. Kinda hot in a totally crazy way?

 

I am enjoying myself immensely.

 

The music is actually really well done. Pretty much all of Hakeem and Jamal's songs are pretty great, especially Jamal's. About the only exceptions being Hakeem's weird drip drop song and the one that sampled Money for Nothing (but did have back up dancers wearing TVs and microwave ovens on their heads, so it still becomes a plus in the end).

 

Also, Taraji Henson in lingerie and a fur coat. God damn. I also love how she's the only one that seems to realize that she's in a soap opera and is acting accordingly. I am more of an Anika man, myself, though.

 

Anyway, big recommendation, it's insane.

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Ryan Phillppe was king sized in Secrets & Lies.

How To Get Away With Murder got really really weird at the ending. Cliffhanger left me sad.

RIP Rebecca Sutter. Yeah, you were trifling and a pusher, but you were no murderer and you and Wes made a cute, if fucked up, couple.

I'd have thought you would bypass the show about a murdered kid.

 

 

I love mysteries but it is a tough watch.  The last episode of Broadchurch was tough to sit through.

 

My wife mocks me for not wanting to watch Broadchurch for that reason. We saw the first episode and I gave up.

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I predict there will be 90 or so Empire rip off shows by next year.

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And Empire itself will probably be a shell of itself and terrible, but for now, I'm enjoying the heck out of it. It definitely has the feeling of a burn bright, fade fast kind of show.

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So, CSI: Cyber starts tonight.  

 

I handle desktop security for my organization and I know guys on the FBI Tiger Team. 

 

We all concur that Computer Forensics is the most rewarding and the dullest job on the face of the earth.  It will take a lot to make hacking sexy but having Patricia Arquette as your lead actress is a good start.

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I hope every episode is like the gamergate episode from SVU.

 

CBS already has Person Of Interest aka WATCH_D0GS: The Television Series.  The only deep web show I need.

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Speaking of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit:

I decided to watch a bunch of the post-Stabler episodes. I think NBC's strategy of reworking the show was pretty brilliant -- "One of the show's two stars is gone. What can we do to keep our audience? I GOT IT! Let's make this show as close to a snuff film as possible!"

The two-part episode featuring the dude who played Nicky Sobatka from The Wire is one of the most horrifying things ever on network TV.

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My hate watch of Entourage continues.

I remember liking Season 2 and Season 3. I started at Season 4... and it's the worst. I think my tastes have change a lot, and for the better.

Everything about this sucks.

Writing of a script is garbage if roughly 50 percent of the dialogue is a curse/epitheth/slur, etc. The percentage in Entourage is probably 75 percent.  The delivery of these horrible lines somehow makes them even worse. There are all these little things -- like E/Vince trying to laugh at some dumb exchange between Turtle and Drama, or Ari Gold just screaming obscenities, etc. -- that are awful.

I've come to terms with thinking E is the absolute worst character in this thing. One of my least favorite archetype is the "piece of garbage who thinks he's something because he grew up in a neighborhood with a city zip code." A 5'2" pretty boy who fronts like he's hard. If he was real, I'd love to swing a bat into his eye orbital.

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I love living in Los Angeles, but man I do not miss the era where Entourage was popular. Almost every time I went out bar-hopping or clubbing in Hollywood there would be some dickhead fresh off the Greyhound from Boston that worshipped that show and thought being like those guys was how you acted and conducted yourself on a night out.

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Entourage's 5th season was legit good as far as I remember, after that it was complete drek sprinkled with the occasional funny gif from Fat Spanish Waiter.

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Speaking of Law and Order: Special Victims Unit:

I decided to watch a bunch of the post-Stabler episodes. I think NBC's strategy of reworking the show was pretty brilliant -- "One of the show's two stars is gone. What can we do to keep our audience? I GOT IT! Let's make this show as close to a snuff film as possible!"

 

I agree about SVU. I've seen a ton of eps over the past month or so - mostly because I watch several things on USA and am too lazy/sleepy to change the channel - and the change in tone post-Stabler is pretty jarring. As an aside, I've always said CI was the only L&O I liked because of D'Onofrio's Americanized post-modern take on Sherlock Holmes but I kinda missed the boat on Stabler. He was a pretty awesome character in his own right.

Although in googling L&O trivia/cast lists/episode guides, I've learned that Olivia Benson has evidently become like this huge cult hero among women.

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I can't watch the post-Stabler episodes. They're awful, absolutely awful. The last season or so with Stabler wasn't any great shakes but now the show has completely nose dived off a cliff.

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A child of the 80's, I grew up watching M*A*S*H reruns.  So I went ham when I found out that the first five seasons are on Netflix, power watching as much as possible over the weekends.  For as much as I watched in syndication, I don't remember a whole lot of episodes from the first season.  I also have a better appreciation of the show now, but that shouldn't be a surprise.

 

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet... what a gut punch episode that was.

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Quick note: Frank Gorshin was great.  I just saw a CHARLIE'S ANGELS from 1977 where he played a mad bomber on a cruise ship who can only communicate in impressions.  The thing about CHARLIE'S ANGELS is that it was terrible show that used every short cut and bit of padding to avoid having to actually have a plot.

So, they get Frank Gorshin tied up and it's really clear the director was like "Look, we don't really have an Act II here....um....If we just turn the camera on you can you just vamp for 20 minutes and do a madman monolog in as many different voices as possible?  Now you're tied up, so you can't move around.  Just sit there and somehow get us through 1/3 of this episode sitting in one spot being crazy?"  And he was like, "Fuck, whatever let me know when you got enough tape."

And I swear to God he just did 20 minutes of the most insane blather without taking a break, sitting in a chair with his hands tied together.  It was glorious.

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Okay, so Fox is reportedly developing THE EXPENDABLES as a TV series with Chuck Norris leading a cast of legendary TV tough guys. WHO YA GOT?

It's Fox, so Kiefer seems like a lock.

If you're using Chuck, you might as well bring along his old buddy Sammo Hung for the ride, right?

I feel like there's a pretty strong contingent to be drawn from the syndication ranks - Lorenzo Lamas, Kevin Sorbo, Adrian Paul, Lucy Lawless for the token female. You know Hasselhoff would be down for this shit.

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Lee Majors motherfuckers in a dual role as Steve Austin and Colt Seavers.

 

I also demand run-ins by all the Misfits of Science, Manimal, and Stephanie Zimbalist as Laura Holt.

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Okay, so Fox is reportedly developing THE EXPENDABLES as a TV series with Chuck Norris leading a cast of legendary TV tough guys. WHO YA GOT?

It's Fox, so Kiefer seems like a lock.

If you're using Chuck, you might as well bring along his old buddy Sammo Hung for the ride, right?

I feel like there's a pretty strong contingent to be drawn from the syndication ranks - Lorenzo Lamas, Kevin Sorbo, Adrian Paul, Lucy Lawless for the token female. You know Hasselhoff would be down for this shit.

Five episodes, and take the under. . . . 

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I don't think Law and Order: SVU ever really recovered from giving Mike Tyson that guest spot.

 

Like, that is so many levels of fucked up.

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Okay, so Fox is reportedly developing THE EXPENDABLES as a TV series with Chuck Norris leading a cast of legendary TV tough guys. WHO YA GOT?

It's Fox, so Kiefer seems like a lock.

If you're using Chuck, you might as well bring along his old buddy Sammo Hung for the ride, right?

I feel like there's a pretty strong contingent to be drawn from the syndication ranks - Lorenzo Lamas, Kevin Sorbo, Adrian Paul, Lucy Lawless for the token female. You know Hasselhoff would be down for this shit.

 

They could probably get a lot of stars from the movies. I love guys like Snipes, Lundgren, Li, etc but it's not like they're getting flooded with offers in Hollywood. Maybe JCVD's bad guy could have had a twin?

 

Might as well get Seagal on board too. I knew he's fat, but still.

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