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Raw 2-23-15

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Dug Orton saying he's tired of 20 minute promos and everyone coming out to only lead to A RAW BUSINESS MEETING and a 15 minute promo. Barrett coming out for a match with Dolph makes sense - Barrett cutting a promo mid-stream and Cole talking about "THE INTERRUPT" doesn't. Match wasn't much, but they're seemingly doing a 4-way IC Title program. Orton re-joined the Authority in theory during the business meeting. Ascension-PTPs further hurt both teams. Speaking of killing acts dead, we got minutes of Bryan fellating Roman Reigns before Heyman finished him off saying that Roman would beat Bruno, Austin, Hogan, Andre, Rock, Cena, and of course, HHH. Roman said REBELLIOUS WORDS including asking Heyman politely to standing a few steps to his right. THAT REBEL!

 

Kidd and Cesaro vs. Usos helped no one. Yet another match that helps no one. THE STREAK CONTINUES! Excellent Bray-Taker video set up a good Bray promo. Swagger beat Stardust thanks to Goldust pointing and distracting Cody. THE STREAK CONTINUES. 2 hours in and nothing has really gotten this show out of first gear. THANK THE LORD ABOVE FOR RUSEV, LANA, AND CENA - they were amazing in their long deal setting up a WM rematch.

 

Sting hype was "next", but first, Paige came out and got to watch some coach and the AWESOME STING HYPE VIDEO. Then Paige and Emma lost in a minute, so that really worked out well. AXELMANIA RAN WILD until Ryback came down and told him to turn his mouth south cuz they're in SMASHVILLE! Ryback killed him with a meathook and Shellshock. Seth and Orton versus Bryan and Roman was in fact a match. ROMAN TOOK EVERYTHING IN STRIDE TONIGHT. What a great guy he is by golly! Faces won and Orton RKO's Noble, but he leaves Seth alone and they spend eons plugging the "free day of the Network". Wow. What a shitty show this was.

 

http://jayreviewsthings.blogspot.com/2015/02/wwe-raw-2-13-15.html

 

Screens - 

 

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#bootybabe
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http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/xqhagax7em7qhacyxvqx192822yb38b0

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JBL: "Look at the size of those giants", while Steph is standing there with the mic. Heh heh... Meanwhile, Orton doesn't want to talk for 20 minutes, so everyone else does that for him.

 

R-Truth is looking for a shot at the IC title. I smell four-way at Mania. Good on Truth for getting a payday if so but without some kind of extra stip I can't see that being anything special. I'm actually kind of shocked they brought up a non-title match loss and used it for an angle when that shit is ignored constantly. For a moment I was gonna complain about Ziggler not being beat up enough by Barrett but that near-botched powerbomb made me happy. Of course Ziggler wins so Barrett continues to look like a paper champ and Ambrose underlines it by mocking Barrett while he nurses his neck. Now I'm thinking of a ladder Fatal Four-Way, at least that would play to the strength of Ziggs and Ambrose. 

 

Haha, Aytch does look like a fuming little brat. Kane looks like he smells a fart. 

 

The Gunman looks good, maybe an anti-American Sniper filtered through action conventions. Incidentally Sean Penn does the Kane fart face better than Kane. 

 

Hey it's the PTPs! Don't worry about explaining why they're together again Maggle, we know its because they need SOMEbody to job to pushed super-jobbers Ascension. Darren Young looks weird with a beard. I guess Vince is yelling hard into the headphones because Book and JBL are being nice this time. PTPs WIN! Didn't see that coming. This has to be a rib. 

 

Look ma, no flak jacket! 

 

The ref is fucking up: no tag, and the second save for Cesaro/Kidd which should be a DQ in WWE rules. Heel turn for Nattie? I'd rather she be that than the abused Elizabeth role she's been holding. This could have been better.

 

The Acolyte? C'mon, John. "It's Rusev time" made me imagine Rusev doing the Hammer dance to a Russian-themed remix featuring ponderous horns and strings. 

 

Holy shit Tony Schiavone looks like Arn Anderson now. 

 

Hey Big Show, SHUT UP. Speaking of things to stop doing during a match Bryan needs to discontinue the flying headbutt immediately for his own sake. Match is nothing but Rollins continues to be the best heel they have. I guess they're building to THE PUNT and while he restrains his violence I restrain my yawns. 

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So, Randy Orton re-joins and fights for The Authority after being curbstomped, beaten down and put out of action for four months, but a BLIND TAG is what sets him off and gets him to really question his loyalty?

 

How fucking stupid. WWE's creative team can't get out of their own way sometimes.

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Unbelievable that this was the RAW after the February PPV and, in theory, the big jump off week for building Wrestlemania.

 

I will admit to being completely baffled how Stardust continues to get air time. He's the worst part about RAW to me & that's saying something considering some of the shit that they put out there lately. Yeah, hiss at the camera...that'll put asses in seats. Fucking jobber.

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Well, they certainly did a good job of quickly making Randy Orton's return uninteresting and meaningless.

Were you expecting anything less?

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they almost certainly won't, but they were talking about cena and bryan not having matches at mania; they could probably salvage the card if they went in that direction. 

 

 

also, "one of the greatest tag teams of all time - rybaxel" *shakes head*

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Does Cena not realize that Russia fought with the US in WWII?

 

So in addition to Angry Big Show, Funny Big Show, Racist Big Show, and Crying Big Show, we now have added Clapping Big Show.

 

Also, what's with those things attached to the ring posts for the past two nights? They're seriously giving off a Wrestlemania Challenge for the NES vibe to me.

 

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That Heyman promo was something else, and not in a good way. Reigns would beat Austin, Rock and Cena? That's so over the top that even as head over heels for Reigns as Vince apparently is, I can't imagine him scripting some shit like that. I have no clue what the fuck Heyman was doing there.

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That Heyman promo was something else, and not in a good way. Reigns would beat Austin, Rock and Cena? That's so over the top that even as head over heels for Reigns as Vince apparently is, I can't imagine him scripting some shit like that. I have no clue what the fuck Heyman was doing there.

Trying to save a main event that's going to destroy Roman's babyface career for at least a year.

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That Heyman promo was something else, and not in a good way. Reigns would beat Austin, Rock and Cena? That's so over the top that even as head over heels for Reigns as Vince apparently is, I can't imagine him scripting some shit like that. I have no clue what the fuck Heyman was doing there.

Not even Paul Heyman can churn out gold all the time.

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Caught the Reigns dick sucking segment, and the main. Vince needs to hang it up.

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Perfectly fine show, I enjoyed Roman's promo and he seemed to actually get the crowd in the end. I absolutely loved Rusev just flatly saying "no" to Cena's rematch request. Who knew that heels could just say no when challenged? This is a total game changer for the industry.

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Wyatt's promo:

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Who knew that heels could just say no when challenged? This is a total game changer for the industry.

 

Barrett told Ambrose no twice.

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Heyman's a disingenuous slimebag. He's trying to play a headgame with Reigns. "I think you can beat all of these guys but my client's the best. And you can't beat him." It's pretty easy to see that. Reigns was also giving him a good look of mistrust throughout it all. It's really not that hard to see that.

Randy's playing a long con with Rollins, too. You don't see the RKO coming soon? Let it simmer for a week and then go for it. Make Rollins squirm before you do the inevitable.

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I totally dig Paige and Emma being a mismatched tag team if... you know... they could have matches to work. Instead they get cut so we can squeeze in a Curtis Axel mercy killing. 

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That Heyman promo was something else, and not in a good way. Reigns would beat Austin, Rock and Cena? That's so over the top that even as head over heels for Reigns as Vince apparently is, I can't imagine him scripting some shit like that. I have no clue what the fuck Heyman was doing there.

Trying to save a main event that's going to destroy Roman's babyface career for at least a year.

 

 

Putting him over the three biggest stars of the last 15 years is supposed to accomplish that?

 

That promo was a huge swing and a miss.

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It doesn't really matter. Nobody in the crowd bought it but I don't think it's something that'll stunt Roman's growth. 

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My favourite part was how the crowd HATED the idea of Reigns being mentioned with Austin and Rock, but then with Triple H it was just kinda like "eh, sure, whatever". 

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That Heyman promo was something else, and not in a good way. Reigns would beat Austin, Rock and Cena? That's so over the top that even as head over heels for Reigns as Vince apparently is, I can't imagine him scripting some shit like that. I have no clue what the fuck Heyman was doing there.

Trying to save a main event that's going to destroy Roman's babyface career for at least a year.

 

 

Putting him over the three biggest stars of the last 15 years is supposed to accomplish that?

 

That promo was a huge swing and a miss.

 

In theory, yeah. It's pretty plain to see that they're throwing all their bag of tricks at Roman to get him *main event level* over before 'Mania. Obviously no one believes that... well, we don't anyway. Some chicks in the audience might.

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