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July Wrestling Catch-All


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The Wyatt beatdown suffered from not having them dance around and sing and act insane enough. As it was, it just looked like two big guys from anywhere between 1988-2013 doing a slow WWE style beatdown. They could have been Earthquake and Typhoon or The Barbarian and The Sanitation Worker.It seemed so generic after the videos and Bray's awesome entrance.They needed more of the ole' TCM/THE WICKER MAN random skipping in circles and chanting things like "'NAM TIME! 'NAM TIME!!!!!" or something. Myabe even a third little dude to jump around and cackle.Two big wrestlers don't scare me. Two mentally deficient hillbillies who are impervious to pain and reason...you're getting there.

 

Take it a step further and have them look like they haven't bathed in a week. Let Dean Ambrose's hair be your guide.

 

Get some paint-splattered overalls.

 

Wear your hair in a ponytail.

 

Find a pair of someone's beat-up old glasses? Now we're on the trolley.

 

And how!

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Take it a step further and have them look like they haven't bathed in a week. Let Dean Ambrose's hair be your guide.

 

 

YOU LEAVE HIM AND THEM* OUT OF THIS!!!!!!

 

 

 

* Them = each individually moulded bang as a bautiful coherently sentient unit

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Man Luke Gallows should totally be brought back to join the Wyatt Crew. It's perfect for his character. First he was a doped up country boy. Then Punk cleaned him up and gave him a purpose. Then the WWE fired him. Then he hit the road and found his way into Bray Wyatt's arms. Luke Gallows could have one of the greatest henchman character arcs ever if this were to happen.

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Here's the thing and a question that creative has to ask themselves.. can the Wyatt Family work in this TV-PG environment? Since 2008 WWE has not tried to push the envelop of what is allowed under a PG TV rating..  I'm not saying they needed to bloody Kane up but the beat down was very generic. It needed to raise some eyebrows.

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If Bray can channel some of the Jake Robert's sleaze-heel charisma, they're half way there.

 

 

"Trust me....trust me...me....trust....trust me..."

 

I like the idea of him playing his promos like "We're really good people, it's just...sometimes the boys get a little funny.  But don't worry, I can control them.  Trust me.  They're good deep down.  Just....be careful sometimes..."

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Here's the thing and a question that creative has to ask themselves.. can the Wyatt Family work in this TV-PG environment? Since 2008 WWE has not tried to push the envelop of what is allowed under a PG TV rating..  I'm not saying they needed to bloody Kane up but the beat down was very generic. It needed to raise some eyebrows.

Here's what you're gonna get, bub. The same wacky Bray Wyatt promos that people love. Some beat downs just like you saw Monday. And Bray Wyatt trading wins with Kofi Kingston 456 times over the next three years. 

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Man Luke Gallows should totally be brought back to join the Wyatt Crew. It's perfect for his character. First he was a doped up country boy. Then Punk cleaned him up and gave him a purpose. Then the WWE fired him. Then he hit the road and found his way into Bray Wyatt's arms. Luke Gallows could have one of the greatest henchman character arcs ever if this were to happen.

Knox already has the beard for it.
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Some things I forgot:

-TNA released a bunch of people. Matt Morgan, Crimson, Joey Ryan, Christian York, Taeler Hendrix, and I think some more.

-The Briscoes and Rhett Titus all visited WWE and are contractually available.

-The American Wolves have stated "We are in talks with both TNA and WWE".

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And then there's this from Tammy Sytch:

 

 

"Hey SUNNY FANS!! This is YOUR CHANCE to get UNDER THE COVERS WITH ME!! At the Legends of the Ring Convention, 10/5/13, I will be offering special photo ops! Your choice: for $50 you get to have your photo taken laying next to me in bed, and for $75 you can have your photo taken 'spooning' or with me lying my head on your chest! Was I your TEENAGE CRUSH?? Now is your chance to make that dream a REALITY!!!

PRE-SALE TICKETS WILL BE OFFERED SOON!

and YES, I WILL be wearing a little item from my LINGERIE DRAWER!!"

 

 

Words fail me.

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and for $75 you can have your photo taken 'spooning' or with me lying my head on your chest! Was I your TEENAGE CRUSH?? Now is your chance to make that dream a REALITY!!!

 

If only it wasn't too late to do this with Akeem.

 

$75, and my lifetime's pent-up desire, would be spent.

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I admit, 13 year old me just leapt into my brain for all of 3 seconds reading that Sunny thing.

 

Then 31 year old me remembered the last nearly two decades, and... no.

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The Wyatts do need a Deliverance version of the Fallen Angel, in gingham tied-up shirt and Daisy Duke short shorts.

 

No, not some pretty little thing. They need an ODB. Is Mickie Knuckles still working?

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And then there's this from Tammy Sytch:

 

Words fail me.

 

The best part of that was the pictures she used. They were from 1996.

 

No, the best part is this:

 

 

 Posted Image HU TUNMMY WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY I MOWED MY LUWN SND CLIPPED MY MOMS TOWS SHE HA FUNGUS THAT STUNKS DID YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY BYE YOUR FRIND ERIK
 
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While this board was down, I visited a couple other boards to try and get my fix. The amount of concern trolling by wrestling fans over this Tammy thing is unbelievable. Almost as unbelievable as the percentage of those fans that would clearly shell out cash for this. I remember reading when she did bikini shoots a few years ago, she had a strict no contact rule. I imagine this will be the same, advertising or not.

The Husky Harris chants were just the worst. Wrestling fans are the worst. If everyone in the world acted like wrestling fans, every Matt Damon movie would just be two straight hours of morons chanting "Good Will Hunting! Clap clap clapclapclap". It's as though now that we have Wikipedia, every crowd is like that MSG Royal Rumble crowd that lost their shit for surprise Cena before remembering they were supposed to hate him and started booing.

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I would contribute $ to a DVDVR member getting the $75 treatment - if someone from this board lives in the area. 

 

All I ask is that you just post the photo on the board afterwards.

 

And that you let me use it as a sig.

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