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FEBRUARY 2015 MOVIE THREAD

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KINGSMAN was a hoot 'n' a half, and I enjoyed the hell out of its complete and utter absurdities as much as I was bored to distraction by JUPITER ASCENDING's same.  Any spy spoof smart enough to cross-reference Rosa Kleb and Maxwell Smart in the same breath gets my seal of approval.

 

I'm also embarassed to admit I had to check IMDB to see if Sofia Boutella (who played Sam L.'s henchwoman Gazelle) was a real-life amputee/Paralympian.  Luckily, this still from STREET DANCE 2 popped up to confirm otherwise:

 

Sofia-Boutella-Street-Dance-2.jpg

 

I believe the appropriate response is "yowzah."

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I watched Underworld: Awakening. It wasn't very good, and although I think I've seen the first and second movies, I remember almost nothing about them, so it didn't really make sense. But if you want to watch a gory action movie where all the heroes are sexy fuckers in fetishwear, the Underworld movies are probably slightly better than the Matrix movies. More tolerable at least.

 

Also, apparently there are two Danny McBrides. And the one who wrote Underworld isn't the one who's friends with Seth Rogen and them guys. So one of them needs a middle initial or something.

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I saw an article this week (maybe in EW) discussing how they shot her with the blades.

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I enjoyed Kingsman a lot.  Legit surprised so many people (and critics) didn't care for it.

There is actually a decent amount of people who didn't care for it? I pay little attention to reviews, but this surprises me. It was so damn fun.

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I watched Underworld: Awakening. It wasn't very good, and although I think I've seen the first and second movies, I remember almost nothing about them, so it didn't really make sense. But if you want to watch a gory action movie where all the heroes are sexy fuckers in fetishwear, the Underworld movies are probably slightly better than the Matrix movies. More tolerable at least.

 

Also, apparently there are two Danny McBrides. And the one who wrote Underworld isn't the one who's friends with Seth Rogen and them guys. So one of them needs a middle initial or something.

The actor Danny McBride's writing credits are listed as "Danny R. McBride', actually.  On one of the 'Eastbound and Down' commentaries, Jody Hill mentions how because McBride had to take a middle initial for his writing credits, Hill and writing partner Ben Best also took middle initials for their writing credits on 'EaD'.  "Like a regular band of brothers here," McBride chimes in.

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I enjoyed Kingsman a lot.  Legit surprised so many people (and critics) didn't care for it.

Yeah, the NJ.com/Star-Ledger critic (Stephen Whitty) gave it one star and slammed it for the violence.  Frankly, I was expecting something a whole lot grosser than pastel-colored mushroom clouds.  (I think my reaction at the time was "Hmm...that's rather quaint.")

Obviously, 50 SHADES OF NON-CONSENT spanked it at the box office (pun very much intended!), but a $35 million second-place ain't too shabby, and worldwide grosses have just about earned back the shooting budget.  It certainly won't be the money-eater that the Wachoski siblings' space opera is turning out to be...

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I know it's silly to say, but I took my girls to see the new Spongebob movie on Valentine's Day...and it was really poorly done. Kudos to Antonio Banderas for basically acting the entire movie with nothing but green-screen around him, but it wasn't really very funny and wasn't put together very well, IMO. Disappointed.

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The movie is a mess but I've decided "Jupiter Jones" is the best name ever.

 

Future parents of the world: It is your duty to make "Jupiter" a popular baby name, like Ashley or Kaylee. 

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Caught The Imitation Game over the weekend and I'm all-in on Cumberbatch for Best Actor. If RWNJ spittle-spewing fury was a renewable fuel source, we'd never have to drill a single oil well ever again after the gay foreign egghead beat out the gung-ho MURICAN~! solider.

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The movie is a mess but I've decided "Jupiter Jones" is the best name ever.

 

Future parents of the world: It is your duty to make "Jupiter" a popular baby name, like Ashley or Kaylee. 

 

The three investigators is a series of juvenile/young adult detective novels (similar to but less popular than Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys) and one of the three titular characters is named Jupiter Jones.  When I saw that post I thought they had made another movie based off those books.

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Caught The Imitation Game over the weekend and I'm all-in on Cumberbatch for Best Actor. If RWNJ spittle-spewing fury was a renewable fuel source, we'd never have to drill a single oil well ever again after the gay foreign egghead beat out the gung-ho MURICAN~! solider.

LOL. This year's Best Actor competition is stacked. Cumberbatch was fantastic and is a deserving winner, should that happen. I think Cooper in American Sniper was better but won't be upset if Cumberbatch wins.

Neither guy was as good as David Oyelowo in Selma - but he didn't even nab a freaking nomination.

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Oh God, I'm dreading now the conservative twitter storm is SELMA beats AMERICAN SNIPER in anything.

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They're only head-to-head in Best Picture and I doubt either one wins that category.

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On the Selma vs. American Sniper tip, here are some heartening thoughts from an anonymous Academy member!

 

 

 

 

First, let me say that I'm tired of all of this talk about "snubs" — I thought for every one of [the snubs] there was a justifiable reason. What no one wants to say out loud is that Selma is a well-crafted movie, but there's no art to it. If the movie had been directed by a 60-year-old white male, I don't think that people would have been carrying on about it to the level that they were. And as far as the accusations about the Academy being racist? Yes, most members are white males, but they are not the cast of Deliverance — they had to get into the Academy to begin with, so they're not cretinous, snaggletoothed hillbillies. When a movie about black people is good, members vote for it. But if the movie isn't that good, am I supposed to vote for it just because it has black people in it? I've got to tell you, having the cast show up in T-shirts saying "I can't breathe" [at their New York premiere] — I thought that stuff was offensive. Did they want to be known for making the best movie of the year or for stirring up shit?

 

 

American Sniper is the winner of the year, whether or not it gets a single statuette, because for all of us in the movie industry — I don't care what your politics are — it is literally the answer to a prayer for a midrange budget movie directed by an 84-year-old guy [Clint Eastwood] to do this kind of business. It shows that a movie can galvanize America and shows that people will go if you put something out that they want to see. With regard to what it did or didn't leave out, it's a movie, not a documentary. I enjoyed it, I thought it was well done, and I can separate out the politics from the filmmaking.

 

 

 

Three cheers!

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 it is literally the answer to a prayer for a midrange budget movie directed by an 84-year-old guy [Clint Eastwood] to do this kind of business

 

The fuck it is. It's a movie 1. by Clint Eastwood, a hugely popular and well-regarded filmmaker, 2. about the Iraq War and a guy who wrote a tell-all about it, prior to being murdered which made national headlines. I'd like to see this guy explain how Selma is artless, too. Jesus, him saying the above quote makes American Sniper seem like more of a charity vote than Selma.

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He also comes off so incredibly callous about the shirt thing. I guess dude really does think making the best movie of the year is more important than "stirring up shit". What a fucking cunt.

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Caught The Imitation Game over the weekend and I'm all-in on Cumberbatch for Best Actor. If RWNJ spittle-spewing fury was a renewable fuel source, we'd never have to drill a single oil well ever again after the gay foreign egghead beat out the gung-ho MURICAN~! solider.

LOL. This year's Best Actor competition is stacked. Cumberbatch was fantastic and is a deserving winner, should that happen. I think Cooper in American Sniper was better but won't be upset if Cumberbatch wins.

Neither guy was as good as David Oyelowo in Selma - but he didn't even nab a freaking nomination.

 

Isn't it going to be Keaton though?

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I'm sorry when you have 20 different acting spots in the categories and literally everyone nominated is white...there's a real problem.

 

I found out the other day Eric James Olmos is still the only Hispanic-American to be nominated for best actor (in 1988 for Stand and Deliver). That is crazy.

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I love the parodies and I am baffled why a BDSM movie featuring a character like Grey would be released on Valentines Day, but I can say with certainty that if my glrlfriend asks me to take her to see 50 Shades, I would be the first person in the car because shit would be on when we got back home.

 

I got dragged to see it last night and it was the most unsexy "sexy" movie I've ever seen. My wife repeatedly apologized for asking me to take her to see it. I'd have much rather sat at home and re-watched Leprechaun In Space. At least the chick in that movie had nice boobs and the plot made way more sense.

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I'm sorry when you have 20 different acting spots in the categories and literally everyone nominated is white...there's a real problem.

 

 

 

Please explain "the problem" as it relates to Selma  Minorities are nominated some years and win, some years not.  You can't fall back on the lazy argument that the whole academy is all old racist white men unless minorities are consistently left out every year.  Hollywood is supposed to be a bastion of liberalism EXCEPT during Oscar season, when it turns back into an old white men network?  You can't have it both ways.

 

I prefer the following explanations:

 

1. The academy simply didn't like Selma as much as the competing films.

2. The academy members thought the other members would vote for Selma en masse so they were free to vote for other films and actors.  Enough academy members did this and it effectively split the vote ("I thought you were voting for Selma.  Oh shit.")

3. The producers of Selma either didn't campaign enough or campaigned too late.

 

Personally, I saw what the subject matter was and noticed that Oprah was involved and I said, "fuck this shameless Oscar grab bullshit" but that's just me.

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