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Royal Rumble 2015


Matt D

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You could put Eva Marie vs. 2003(?) Jackie Gayda in an Iron Woman Match with the Rumble and the PPV would be good because it's really hard to fuck up the Rumble (Unless of course your name is Vince Russo...then it's amazingly easy to fuck up a great match)

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We're moments away from finding out who drew #30 in the 2015 Royal Rumble match.

Amber Lance?

It's King!

AMBERLANCE.gif

It's Dean Ambrose!  The Lunatic Fringe is the final entrant in the 2015 Royal Rumble match!

He must be cold.  He's wearing a turtleneck, Maggle.

 

Ambrose immediately helping out his "brother" Roman Reigns with low blows to both Kane and Big Show.

Why would he do that?  Why doesn't he help Kane and Big Show eliminate Reigns.

Man, they brothers, dawg.

It's every man for himself.  Like you wouldn't throw Stevie Ray out to get a World Title shot.

Well, maybe.

He would definitely throw you out.

Hey, man.

 

Look at this match up, dawg.

These two wild men about to hook 'em up. Ambrose looks more like Buck's kid than Swagger does.

Wait a minute!  Wut da hail!

A bunch of bums just hit the ring.

Those are hobos, Maggle.  An army of them.

They're attacking Ambrose and there's a bag lady wino by our desk screaming...

BAM.jpg

What's she saying?  Who's the master now?  What's she talking about?

I know what she's talking about, dawg.

And now Bray Wyatt's in the ring. Where'd he come from? Sister Abigail on Ambrose. Ambrose has been left absolutely devastated by this attack by this...hobo army.

 

Kane and Show were holding Reigns back the whole time and now Bunkhouse Buck is back in the ring.

The Colonel had Meng pull him under the bottom rope when the hobos attacked.

And Bunkhouse Buck easily eliminates Dean Ambrose and we're down to the final four of Bunkhouse Buck, The Big Show, Corporate Kane and Roman Reigns.

 

Kane's got Bunkhouse goozled.

And Big Show with the WMD on Kane.

Wut da hail!

And Show tosses Kane over the top rope.

Awww my goodness!  Look at the Colonel waving that money around. Big Show sold out again, man.

 

SUPERMAN PUNCH!  Reigns just rocked Show with a giant-sized Superman Punch out of nowhere!

Reigns has the giant teetering on the ropes.

Another Superman punch, dawg!

Big Show has been eliminated!

And with that elimination Reigns has surpassed the elimination record he set at last year's Royal Rumble match.

 

This is it, Maggle.

One of these two men, either Bunkhouse Buck or Roman Reings will go on to the main event of WrestleMania to challenge Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

One of these two men are going on to the biggest stage of them all, the showcase of the immortals, the main event of WrestleMania where all the lights are turned on bright.

Awww here we go, dawg!

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Predictions:

 

Rumble:

 

Looking where we are right now, with the stories being told, barring something crazy like Cena losing the title and then coming back in the Rumble, I think Daniel Bryan wins it. The reason I think this is that he has a much clearer narrative in doing so than Reigns. Roman's narrative in this has been facing off against Big Show and causing trouble for Rollins. Bryan has to fight his way back into the Rumble after his comeback out of nowhere. As things stand right now, it's a much clearer narrative. I think Show vs Reigns will be a huge moment in the Rumble, with Show clearing the ring and Reigns getting the next number, something like that. Harper and Ambrose go long.

 

Surprise entries: I'm thinking Jericho (he'll be in Philly), RVD, Orton, Bo Dallas, Neville, Sheamus(he said he wasn't ready but I don't entirely believe that), and Triple H. MAYBE the Dudleys but I just don't know if they have room for them. Otunga is another possibility. 

 

Title match: I really think that Cena beats Rollins, Brock destroys Cena, and Rollins, recovered, cashes in. That's what I'd call the most conservative guess but that's usually the right one.

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Anyone else picturing Scott Armstrong as the ref for the three-way and no one notices until the finish, where he screws Brock and Cena over for Rollins?

At this stage, I think quite a few fans would pick up on that. Now, if he's the replacement ref after a ref bump... 

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We've always done Rumble parties with drawing the numbers and everything.  I never saw somebody so excited to see Viscera enter to their number years ago.  Fun times.  With this being on the Network and people being busy (new parents, whatever else) odd are there might not be a show this time around.  Since it's on the Network it's easy to just not pay as much attention since it'll be On Demand.  It's a weird change in mentality now.  I don't know if it's just me, but it feels very weird.

 

As for picks, I'm going with Bryan winning and Seth getting the belt via cash-in.  Can't say I care as much about the rest of the card.

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Anyone else picturing Scott Armstrong as the ref for the three-way and no one notices until the finish, where he screws Brock and Cena over for Rollins?

At this stage, I think quite a few fans would pick up on that. Now, if he's the replacement ref after a ref bump... 

 

 

I just cracked up picturing him wearing a wig and fake mustache. It's been done, after all.

 

bobby-v1.jpg

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I feel like this is the fewest number of "announced" participants they have done going into a Rumble in awhile.

 

13 officially (with more to come thanks to Smackdown)

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I do think it's possible we get, as "surprises":

 

Orton, Sheamus, Dallas, Otunga, Young (who's been on TV but not in matches?), Henry (if he's healthy enough again), and maybe even Christian with an outside chance of Mysterio. You get the sense they're just not announcing anyone about to come back from injury. I think even Ryder's been working out at the performance center a bit.

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I know you guys are just throwing out names of people that are ready to go but not on TV, but who on earth would be excited to see an Otunga or Young return at the Rumble? Wouldn't it be a terrible way to re-introduce them?

ETA: I can't see Christian wrestling for WWE again. Twitter denial aside, they wouldn't just have Rollins say the line about him having too many concussions to wrestle again for no reason. I think he really can't pass their concussion tests - which would essentially be a retirement from WWE, even if he works indies at some point.

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I know you guys are just throwing out names of people that are ready to go but not on TV, but who on earth would be excited to see an Otunga or Young return at the Rumble? Wouldn't it be a terrible way to re-introduce them?

ETA: I can't see Christian wrestling for WWE again. Twitter denial aside, they wouldn't just have Rollins say the line about him having too many concussions to wrestle again for no reason. I think he really can't pass their concussion tests - which would essentially be a retirement from WWE, even if he works indies at some point.

Yes it would be terrible. That's why we are expecting it?

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WWE won't change the booking philosophy behind the RR, so its probably best for them to just announce the top guys and leave the other 13-15 contenders a complete secret.

 

Question: Would anyone REALLY be that upset if WWE didn't telegraph the RR every year and made it TRULY an event anyone could win. What is the RR winner of this year was Big E./ Any wrestler not named Reigns or Bryan.

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