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GWF on ESPN Classic 8/5/13 at 11AM EST!


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Yeah that faceplant he did was nice. It's really weird seeing young Booker and young Bradshaw

 

Man, Gary Hart just don't give a fuck. His pin assist consisted of him limply laying his hand on dude's boot as it was on the rope with the most flat and bored look on his face possible. He's still a great promo though.

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I have the whole day off so I'm watching all of this and posting about it. Fat Tire brews in the fridge and wrestling on the TV, good times. 

 

ROBES WITH TASSLES~! It's funny that Gaston Means is talking about people going to jail while Booker's in the ring. 

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Yeah that faceplant he did was nice. It's really weird seeing young Booker and young Bradshaw

 

Man, Gary Hart just don't give a fuck. His pin assist consisted of him limply laying his hand on dude's boot as it was on the rope with the most flat and bored look on his face possible. He's still a great promo though.

 

I think right around the time Global had him wearing the wig was when he mentally packed it in with the company.

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Did he manage the Ebony Experience? He just came out with them but they're babyfaces. Their ring gear clashes so bad: half gold/half purple trunks with red boots. And the robes are black with red fringe. GODDAMN did they almost kill that guy with the finish. Stevie holds him like he's almost gonna powerbomb him and Booker drops a toprope elbow, dude basically goes headfirst into the mat. It was like a Thunder Fire powerbomb done really bad.

 

Mike Davis looks and acts just like Jake the Snake only missing a tooth and with the worst haircut. And he does a DDT! Apparently one of his boots is missing as well because he's wearing a sneaker on one foot. Thank god they gave the TV title to Villalobos. It was probably due to Davis' crimes against fashion. 

 

...yeah, when the wrestling is this middle of the road, I will be talking about people's clothes more

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Okay so Maniac Mike Davis is a "former resident of Bellevue" which explains the horrible gear/hair and the hand puppet he brought to the ring. Well, nothing explains the hair. The guy from the infamous bungee match is on commentary and because of his last valet they're talking about AIDS and safe sex on commentary. Jesus this promotion is ghetto. Davis is good at stalling and jawing with the crowd. "Steve Simpson is very cautious hooking up with Mike Davis again" is something I really didn't need to hear. Aaaaaaand they cut the feed right as a guy jumps Simpson after the pinfall as bungee dude says "I gotta go pick up a phonecall". 

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I like how they make Maniac Mike Davis crazy by just having him wear two different color boots and kneepads, Boxer shorts, patches of shaved hair on his head, and throughout the match he just stares and laughes. Its such the earlier 90's wrestling idea of crazy that its funny to see now. Also what about that hair on John Hawk.

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Did he manage the Ebony Experience? He just came out with them but they're babyfaces. Their ring gear clashes so bad: half gold/half purple trunks with red boots. And the robes are black with red fringe. GODDAMN did they almost kill that guy with the finish. Stevie holds him like he's almost gonna powerbomb him and Booker drops a toprope elbow, dude basically goes headfirst into the mat. It was like a Thunder Fire powerbomb done really bad.

 

ISTR they were forced to use him as a manager because their mom was sick and they couldn't pay her medical bills. At one point their "sister" showed up in the crowd over-acting and chewing the scenery. It was hideous.

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What about the mystery of THE DARK PATRIOT? And the Patriot? Johnny Polo being to Eddie Gilbert what Stevie Richards was to Raven? The angle where Eddie agreed to have fans check him at ringside for weapons and he had about 55,000 things stashed on his body?

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Mike Davis may be the new sleaziest-looking motherfucker in wrestling - I previously thought that no one could top Jimmy Del Ray, but...yeah he does.  Young JBL on commentary was interesting. Best stuff so far has involved Akbar breaking character a bit and doing wacky football poses with Harvey Martin.

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Yes, we have a CHAZ sighting! We are spared the thong-esque tights however. This is post-Christmas '93 so we're close to the end here. Now all of the sudden we're back in '91? They switched the tapes during the commercial break mid-match and now we have Raven and Eddie Gilbert on commentary. Raven is rambling like a fool and Buff Bagwell's in the ring going under the Handsome Stranger name. Apparently his finisher was the "Stranger-plex" which was a fisherman's suplex. And now we have Hot Stuff! I had no idea Raven had a speech impediment. Or maybe it's just the drugs. God his character is obnoxious. Ref bump and we get three visual pins before Eddie knuckle-dusts the ref for a FOURTH visual pin and then a fifth, a sixth, a seventh, then Eddie uses a hair-sprayed handkerchief for the knockout and the pinfall while Raven rambles about Eddie's new "face-claw" finisher. That was a fun little affair. Now we have Terry George and Butch Blackheart vs. the Renegade Warriors who bust out an apron dropkick to the floor and a Dragon suplex while they're squashing their opponents. Short and sweet. Bull Pain and his valet have the full-on bondage gear (plus tassles!) and Bobby Blackstone talks to a human deer caught in the headlights. A slightly competitive squash with Bull pulling up his opponent twice. Bull busts out the Randy Orton rope DDT only on the top rope, which was cool. 

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It sure was nice of the jobber to run back from the turnuckle into a flying clothesline on the other side of the ring. Maybe the Generic Native American Tag Team should get a new finish. At least their gear fits the gimmick now, as opposed to the assless chaps they had in the first show. Bull Pain's out. MORE CHAPS. Now with leather. And even more chaps on the Dogs of War. JESUS CHRIST, Buster Blackheart and Sam Houston HAVE THEM TOO. Did this just buy 500 pairs or something? I've never seen Tugboat Taylor - he's shockingly athletic given his size.

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