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New Japan gets TV deal in US

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I've been hyping that in March Madness and it seemed like nobody was listening. Glad you two enjoyed it. KOR is fantastic and KUSHIDA is really good in his own right. It's in my top 5 matches of 2015. 

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Thinking about it for a bit, yeah, I concur, top 5 for 2015...

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Even though there were some seriously huge moves all match, it didn't feel like overkill; they sold the entire time and kept going back to the arms and had an arm-based finish. Ross was impressed, clearly showing his distaste for high flying/praising them in a back-handed way by saying they didn't go to the top when it wasn't necessary. He seemed really happy to call a long, stiff, well-sold mat-based match where he didn't have to name some crazy moves. 

And it had only ONE count'em ONE forearm exchange, which turned into a hockey fight!

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I think I've hit on the proper use of Capt. New Japan... Have him on hand when they do the voiceovers to kick JR in the balls whenever he says "slobberknocker".

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Mike Tenay would be perfect for this show. '96-'98 Tenay was good shit.

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The tombstone spot with the Bucks and Red Dragon was ridiculous and great.

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Sakuraba/Shibata was baller but the wrong guy won (btw, Sakuraba's lucha approximations were pure BattlARTS). Ishii/Makabe was ridiculously stiff as well and I seriously worry for Ishii's health if he keeps this up. Regardless, tonight is gonna be full of shootstyle after that because I really need to watch Volk Han submit a fool right now.

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13 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

Sakuraba/Shibata was baller but the wrong guy won (btw, Sakuraba's lucha approximations were pure BattlARTS). Ishii/Makabe was ridiculously stiff as well and I seriously worry for Ishii's health if he keeps this up. Regardless, tonight is gonna be full of shootstyle after that because I really need to watch Volk Han submit a fool right now.

The bump Ishii took on that dive to the floor was insane, Makabe didn't even try to catch him.  Ishii popped up like nothing happened, but that shit had to hurt like a bitch.

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Yeah it was pretty ludicrous he even attempted that given it is totally not in his moveset at all. Poor Barnett and JR did their best to gloss over how much of a bust it was. 

After watching Shibata/Sakuraba a second time on the replay, and remembering back to their parejas increiblas tag match, I could definitely watch those guys fight in a best of seven series. They're like peanut butter and chocolate together. 

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Boy does Kenny Omega look ratty, sleazy, and bizarrely juiced-up. That this is the same guy that used to do the "HADOUKEN" thing in DDT is bizarre. Methinks Ibushi insisted he come along for the ride if he was gonna work in New Japan, not like Kenny isn't a talent though. Kushida is quickly winning me over and wins the belt which is pretty cool. Next to no Bucks interference too! 

Ninjamura rules. This, of course, was great. Rubber match awaits I presume... (don't tell me)

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Thank goodness for Comcast's X1 system.  While I can't get it on the cable box using the app for their On Demand service I can watch these shows on the phone.  Considering I just noticed this I caught last Friday's episode.  JR is really, really good at this and I can forgive him for not getting all the names right at this point.  Thankfully, Josh is there to kinda sorta correct him along the way.  Omega/Kushida was an awesome match and Goto/Nakamura was tremendously great.  I'm just glad the older episodes are on the app, I have some catching up to do.

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That was amazingly perplexing considering he had the pronunciation down just fine at WK9, and he's very familiar with the guy.

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Finally remembered to watch New Japan on Friday night! G1 Climax time...

Oh man, JR busted out the "bowling shoe ugly" reference for Fale/Naito and it even sounded worse: "That was Bowling. Shoe. Ugly." He also said Fale owed Scott Hall royalties for the Razor's Edge, haha.

Go figure, Shibata/Styles is fantastic, and fantastically mean. The opening headlock alone is vicious and it just goes from there. Both guys murder each other and there is checking of jaws and clenching of limbs in response. They did work a bit fast for a match this stiff but I can't complain with anything that has Shibata, who has an injured arm that he can't entirely use, biting his other arm to keep a sleeper locked in. Wow. The finish was insult to injury. 

Tanahashi's hair looks way nicer now. Luscious, even, like a fine lion's mane. JR and Warmaster's banter is great:

Quote

 

"It's the bootlacing that gets them every time."

"That's how I met my girlfriend."

"I bet you did."

 

They also do a great job getting over the legwork from Tanahashi... which of course, Ibushi sells fairly well but then gets up and promptly runs flat across the ring for an inside-out moonsault. Thankfully Tana goes back to the leg and hits an enormous (ENORMOUS) plancha to the floor after. The fighting spirit shit with using the injured leg is so stupid. Yeah, it "garners sympathy". So what. It's still fucking stupid. There is a brutal lawn-dart into the second buckle and a pretty wild German, and they have the crowd in the palm of their hand the whole match, but you wanna slap both guys for doing an Ibushi match where somebody worked on his goddamn leg. 

Meanwhile...

NEXT FRIDAY

NAKAMURA

vs. 

ISHII

FUCK

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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Boy, been awhile since I did this.

Tenkoji/Bullet Club: Gallows is really classy wagging the belt like it's his dick. Hey, there's Kojima, haven't seen him in years. Tenzan has a nice little run with Gallows before tagging in Kojima who hilariously chops Machine Gun until he's literally laying on the top rope crying in agony. Lots of nice reversals, big moves and good selling from Anderson in what's supposed to be a 13 min. match but isn't -- that editing was seamless. Afterwards Gallows calls his opponents "Tenkoozie" and does a nice little bit of Dustyish rhyming with his shit-talking. That was short and sweet. 

Omega/Kushida: Gallows and Shelley are seconds which doesn't bode well. JR: "Kushida, you don't know where that hand's been" Omega straight gobs in Kushida's face, a real big nasty splatter, then they go outside where he Finlay rolls Kushida and jumps onto the rail to do an effortless moonsault with his trashcan. Kushida is up in seconds to do a hilo though (AND the Club stomps him to boot). Big Doctor Bomb, cut to a ref bump and Club interference. Jesus, Kushida hits Omega with what they call a clenched fist but looks like a forearm and it sounds like someone threw a steak on the floor. Of course more Club BS and Omega wins the Jr. Heavy championship. Kushida tells Omega he should be ashamed with himself afterwards and we feel the same way. Gedo or whoever's booking now sure love their mid '90s WCW. 

Ibushi/Makabe: For the NEVER title (which JR asks is an acronym, Warmaster spells it out for him and JR says that'll never be a question on Jeopardy). Your standard forearm open with Makabe selling... NEVER! At least Ibushi will take up that part of the equation for him. JR is still pissed about the closed fist and tries to cover for his anger yet again by saying the refs are afraid of the wrestlers. Dude, if you have to cover for yourself, just don't mention something. Pretty plodding stuff. Makabe has a big powerbomb which I've never seen him do. He sets up a table outside, Ibushi takes control and lays him on the table, goes up top and double-stomps him... and the UNBREAKABLE JAPANESE TABLE LAUGHS! Luckily for Ibushi he was smart enough to open the railing gate because he would have went face-first into it if not. Whadda nut. Ibushi hits the Last Ride but Makabe catches him on top for the Spider German, Ibushi flips over and fuckin' deadlift Germans Makabe. That was a sick little sequence. Ibushi continues his death wish by dying on the 450 facefirst to the mat. Then they just go back to another strike exchange. Ibushi ends it with a straight punch that goes "ZZZZZTPOP" but Makabe lariats the shit out of him. They do the Spider sequence again but Ibushi insists they do it Dragon style so he lands on his head at the last second and his neck snaps back like a rubber band. King Kong Kneedrop and it's over. Bad matchup -- you've got one guy who will beat you up and sell nothing and another guy who will sell everything and die on everything. Or is that a good matchup? It depends on what you're looking for, I guess. Those guys at the Performance Center have a long road ahead of them to reign in this kid. 

Fun episode, nothing blow-away great and you're gonna want to FF through all strike exchanges in the main except for the last one. 

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Managed to catch a replay of the episode with Nakamura/Ishii at 4 AM. Before it was Elgin/Honma which had a legit JR mark-out moment when Elgin did the Cesaro deadlift vertical suplex from the apron on Honma, which he likened to a magic trick; crowd was also super hot for the match and it was great overall (though I hate seeing Honma and just thinking of him beating his wife. At least he always gets the crap kicked out of him and never wins). Nakamura/Ishii was exactly what I expected -- two guys beating on each other until one of them ends up KO'ed. Absolutely withering assault from both men that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. Ishii was nice enough not to go for Nak's injured elbow (what was that, staph infection?) but isn't afraid to try and concuss him the whole time and vice versa. Great, brutal stuff. 

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Shibata/Naito was funtabulous. Naito does zero for me as a face, but as a gnarly-toothed, ugly, smug asshole of a rudo he hits all the right marks. Shibata coming and just powdering into him is the perfect matchup. All I needed was more of Shibata kicking the shit out of him after Naito pushed down the cameraman -- showing up backstage for a brawl would have been better than Naito talking shit about Tanahashi. He still had blood in his mouth and that's all I can really ask for. 

To be updated later if I catch the other matches; work applications took first priority earlier

EDIT: A young woman in the crowd during Goto/Nak has a shirt that has "WAIT UNTIL WALK SIGN" written on it. Nothing else. Can someone explain that to me? Or is the explanation just "Japan, stupid"? Next week is Fale/Tanahashi. And people are calling Brang Strangalang the new Mr. Hughes...

Red Shoes can't even count someone outside the ring at the proper speed and JR can't resist referencing wrestlers that most people even his age don't remember. Goto and Shinsuke, meanwhile, tear it up as they are wont to do. The sunset flip powerbomb really should be used as a counter to a top rope move more often. The crowd is absolutely molten halfway through this and it'll suck you right in, with hard strikes, great selling, and a nice and suspenseful armbar struggle before the end. I still dig Goto -- if you don't like it, fuck off. 

Also, Anderson shows up in his hunting gear for no reason. And here I thought Gallows was the big country boy of the team.

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I got a kick out of JR referring to Shibata as a young prospect considering that he's 36.

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Three new shows in a row next week: Makabe/Ishii, Tana/Naito, and AJ/Okada are listed. I have hope for two of them (Tana/Naito should be good because of Naito's heel schtick and Tana getting pissed about it alone), maybe AJ and Ishii can pull off miracles.

reDragon vs. Time Splitters: Didn't know Alex Shelley was a Teenage Bottlerocket fan. Kushida's double armbreaker over the ropes is humorous and so is O'Reilly slapping him while in a submission. Red Shoes clearly isn't gonna break anything up -- ever -- so all four trade subs for a minute. In fact it pretty much turns into lucha tag rules because everyone is running around everywhere and he just stands in the corner. There are a lot of neato double teams and zero psychology whatsoever with everyone just getting their shit in. J.R., of course, is typically pithy about affairs albeit being a fan of reDragon. There's a writer I once knew who coined a term called "riff salad" to describe certain death metal bands that were a bit too technical and random for their own good; that's how I would describe this match. Roppongi Vice beats up reDragon after and hey there's Trent Barreta, I haven't seen him since Superstars and Main Event were on network TV. 

Tanahashi vs. Bad Luck Fale: This is exactly what you think it is -- Samoan Mr. Hughes vs. Japanese Shawn Michaels. Michaels has the G1 In The Bank Briefcase and calls out Naito after the match who is still gre-hee-heeeeasy (TM Bubbles). Nothing else to see/say here. 

EDIT: Okay, one more thing: I like the Grenade. For a big stiff at least what Fale does looks like it hurts.

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I miss Mauro's call of the Grenade. He always made it sound like a big deal.

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Okay, missed the first episode and the start of the second so we begin with Tanahashi/Naito. 

8/5/16 - Ep. II 

Well I did see the end of Omega/Sydal and the final moments were beautiful. Cody Hall was also in the building to provide water and catch bodies. 

Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Tetsuya Naito: Naito's gimmick is fantastic and JR and Warmaster are suitably irritated. Surprisingly neither has brought up Larry Zybysko yet. Watching this is really worth it just for the banter between the two because both are so pithy yet professional at the same time. Naito is a total asshole spitting at Tana through most of the match which makes JR all righteously indignant. Anyway, the "tranquilo" takes over the match until Red Shoes gets bumped and EVIL who is the mystery masked man behind Naito interferes. It backfires and Tana wins after two High Fly Flows. Goto and Shibata run in for support for Tana too, I guess because their names got picked out of a hat. Actually a pretty entertaining match because of Naito's snail pace and heel tactics being a bit of a breath of fresh air. Again, I'll take this version of him over Super Happy Shiny Vacant Stare Junior Face Naito any day. 

8/5/16 - Ep. III

AJ Styles vs. Kazuchika Okada: Barely watching this while in online conversation. AJ attempts a Ganso Bomb and luckily Okada tucks his neck. He barely manages the same on a hilo onto the Club outside the ring so clearly he cares naught. The finishing stretch is fantastic, full of selling and weary yet strong striking. Dunno how the whole match adds up though and I'm not high on Okada period but from what I saw he looked fine here. 

8/5/16 - Ep. I

Tomoaki Honma vs. YOSHI-HASHI: Honma surprisingly gets a good bit of offense in. This is still jobber v. jobber. Sorry but after Honma was outed as a wife-beater I only take enjoyment in him getting splattered by a lariat and a powerbomb here. He should probably be fired and drop back down to working 100000 lighttube matches with Jaki Numazawa.

Shinsuke Nakamura/Kazushi Sakuraba/Toru Yano vs. Luke Gallows/Karl Anderson/Bad Luck Fale: Dunno why everyone says "Nakamoura" instead of "Nakamura". This is a match. It ends with some pathetic interference and pathetic low blows. But guess who's up next?

TOMOHIRO ISHII vs. ............Togi Makabe: I didn't pay much attention to this at all. They wore each other out beating each other senseless until Honma came out to growl like the carton of Dunhills a week smoker and/or death metal singer on the side he is. So there's your three shows.

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On ‎7‎/‎24‎/‎2016 at 0:41 PM, Ramo2653 said:

I got a kick out of JR referring to Shibata as a young prospect considering that he's 36.

JR going to the Gorilla Monsoon book on that one. Didn't Gorilla mention that Carlos Colon was a youngster during a Royal Rumble?

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FiOS just added AXS TV to my line up last week!  STOKED~!

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That tag final was pretty fun. Also the headbutts between Shibata and Ishii were gross.

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WORLD PRO WRESTLING~! REPLAY FROM LAST WEEK~! GIMME, AH, BEEYAAAAAAAAH~!*

BUSHI vs. Mascara Dorada: So BUSHI broke his neck and he's stupid enough to do a straight-up bullet tope into Dorada? Dorada hilariously trips over BUSHI after and falls flat on his face. That deserved the replay. Dorada completely whiffs on a running kick and later absolutely does not connect on a moonsault. This is my first time seeing him and I'm not impressed, hopefully his Gran Metallik work is better. BUSHI's bridge is absolutely amazing looking but the MX is stupid as fuck; why would you do a move that requires you to take a big back bump just to get your knees into somebody's chest? They should have foregone that and just went for the pin after the nutshot. Real quiet crowd for Korakuen and neither Jim nor Josh sounded like they were interested at all. 

Tanahashi/Shibata vs. Okada/Ishii: Quite the star-studded tag (dammit Ross, I wrote that before you said it. He then proceeds to repeat that several times). Obviously I hope Shibata and Ishii smash the other two into dust then start on each other. Of course after our two superstars do their little bit our two crowbars get in and start powdering into each other, dick kicks, disgusting kicks and chops, Ishii tries to put his arm through Shibata's clavicle. Gross! Yet wonderful... Okada shows how stupid he is daring Shibata to hit him and he gets a forearm that puts him on his ass. Tana and Okada are a little more interesting in a tag setting for a change. Both seem to have a little more 'oomph', though that could be who they're in there with, or maybe it's just not their usual match-by-numbers because of the context. Ishii ends up getting put in a sick armbar/head triangle and Warmaster does a great job selling it on commentary. Tana/Okada end up by themselves and have some great transitions into a slap and a mean Euro uppercut then tag in the two mutilators. Who immediately suplex the memory out of each other. Fuck, why was I hoping these two fight the other two? Any time they lock up together I want to see it. Ishii is so great he does the Fujiwara slobber in the sleeper hold. I missed one of the headbutts Ramo mentioned but catch the DVD into frogsplash for the finish. Ishii gets led out in a hurry so those headbutts (damn my trying to do PBP) must've been brutal. 

Great match after a lackluster title change earlier. J.T., I hope you set your DVDR for this one, you're gonna love the show. In other news: they're cancelling Inside MMA?! What in the living fuck?! Did Mark Cuban lose a bet or something?

* Oh yeah, the "gimme, a, beeeyaaaa" thing was an in-joke from a live Arsedestroyer performance that got recorded as a split with somebody. The drummer would yell that out after every song for someone to throw him a cold one. It's really quite funny. Don't ask me who Arsedestroyer is, some European grindcore band, I don't even remember. But the guy yelling was funny

EDIT: nevermind here it is, with even more hilarious mic bullshit in addition to the one thing I did remember

The things you can find online with a mere Youtube search...

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