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Okay so I'm confused (as usual); this Wrestle Kingdom episode first aired on Sept. 19th? Ah, fuck it. These two matches have to be amazing. 

Nakamura/Styles: Shinsuke has the International title. They start off super fast and tease finishers immediately. God I love Naka eating the "bullet" then the dropkick from Styles which was so good it got a replay. These guys just don't give a fuck, you can tell they're gonna go all out. And of course they do. God, the level of speed and stiffness these two have, each parrying and thrusting like fencers... it really is a treat. If we get to see this in WWE I think everyone's heads will explode. AJ steals the Boma Ye and almost makes Naka's head explode with it! Warmaster is perfect going into the past and mentioning that something like that killed him in an MMA match before. Of course, immediately Naka goes MMA with the armbar and head triangle but nearly gets crippled with a sloppy Styles Clash. These guys are so damn good in front of a super hot crowd where they can put it all on the line. AJ finally eats an avalanche Landslide and two vicious Boma Ye's to end his (both of their?) NJPW careers. I'm not so up on the history as I've slept since then but who cares, this was awesome. Also funny is the triangularly arranged 12 pack of Coors Light sitting in front of Shinsuke during the interview after. Hopefully someone has introduced him to better beers in the West since... (then again I'm one to talk, I got a Beast Ice sitting next to me right now. Whatever gets the job done, I say)

Omega/KUSHIDA II: Kushida (not capitalizing this every time) has some nice commentary about the Jr. Heavy title being lesser than the IWGP title and deciding to elevate it by not being a filthy dirty stinkin' cheater like the Bullet Club. Taguchi is cosplaying as Doc Brown for the intro which is completely ridiculous and perfectly Japanese. Kenny O is THE CLEANER~! Now that I've taken a job as a literal cleaner I get a kick out of that gimmick. Of course the Bucks are out as cheating cannon fodder/seconds. Warmaster as the Buck go under the ring: "What are they doing, looking for their Pokemon?" This is used for cold-spray and the trash can moonsault which now I swear I've seen before, is this the same match I reviewed back in April or did he just redo the spot? Anyway, Omega's tope con giro is totally stupid... again. Kushida on offense is killing it, though the Northern Chop off the top rope is a little to absurd for anyone's taste. Not long after he eats a brutal suplex from Omega that looks like a mistake but then he sells the arm and you get why. 

Speaking of Bullet Club, Gallows and Anderson are on the next episode vs. Honma and Makabe. The latter is a nice team as long as Makabe can be kept on the apron for the hot tag. 

Okay, the arm is indeed being sold but FUCK Kushida hits a straight right that looks to be jaw breaking. That's a way to switch it up. Both JR and Warmaster complain about him not just sticking with the arm but then Kushida says "I remembered!" and goes for the "double wristlock" (okay Barnett, if you insist). Kushida eats the One-Winged Angel and a couple Nakamura-level knees after Doc helps with the trash can and wins with a rollup after a second Angel attempt. JR and Barnett mention one of Omega's shoulders not being completely down but play it off. I would've liked Kushida to roll into the Hoverboard for the submission finish because it's so obvious, but you take what you can get. Otherwise a real good match and also a way to elevate Kushida while Omega goes up to Heavyweight.

So long from the Toyko Dome... 

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NEW JAPAN IS CLIPPED AND SO IS THIS REVIEW 10/7/16

- It is really surreal hearing JR calling a Briscoes match. I never expected to see Nikkan Lee to ref a WWE match either so the wrestling world is pretty topsy-turvy right now. You gotta love Chicken pairing up with Yano. King of Trios 2017 baybay! Meanwhile, JR mentions the closed fists and acts like he doesn't complain about them every single week. 

- Next week is the nightmarish Ishii/Shibata match. One of the quotes in the commercial is "this is obscene brutality", which is of course completely accurate. If you haven't seen that yet... brace yourself. 

- "Captain New Japan on the bad side of... well, everything in his entire life." - Josh Barnett. Bullet Club is more ECW than NWO in this match which is a negligible exchange of influences. JR decides to start bitching about the fists again. Goto wins and sells his nuts after. JR also calls Goto "the Bret Hart of Japan" which is fucking ridiculous. Its funny seeing Goto talk about being stuck in his place because he sure as hell is and has been for years. 

- How many Dunhills does Honma smoke in a day, four packs? Did he have throat polyp surgery at some point? JR brings up the history of the Tag League and Honma/Makabe being a part of that lineage is hilarious, as is the fact that they give the win away before the match. Gallows' wife (who I'd imagine he picked up at a strip club if she wasn't a wrestler) comes out with him and Anderson and they say 'fuck' a lot on the way to the ring. Warmaster mentions Anderson is leaner which immediately makes one think he's cycling out to get clean for WWE's piss test. Gallows says 'fuck' again and one punch to the jaw seems more damaging to Makabe than gettting lariated with a chain-wrapped arm. Hey though, psychology! I think Makabe really must have an injured jaw cause he keeps selling it. Who knows why Honma starts bleeding on the back of his head. This is all about him winning his first NJ title but Makabe still gets the pin after the King Kong kneedrop. Honma is emotional and you want to feel for him but then remember he's the Ray Rice of New Japan.

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  • 2 weeks later...

He deserves the crushed larynx (which reminds me of the first Punisher comic I ever bought where Kingpin threatened to crush someone's larynx but that's neither here nor there)

Fucking Lion Fights went long and there was no second chance to see Ishii/Shibata put each other in the hospital so instead all there was was another iteration of Tanahashi/Okada. Nice start and build but there is still no point in legwork if Okada is just gonna blow it off eventually. It didn't come off as the epic the crowd and the announcers thought it was to me, maybe because I wasn't paying enough attention or maybe because neither guy really floats my boat. After all this time maybe they should have ditched the super sportsmanlike premise, just for something different for fuck's sake. I would have booked for blood but I'm not NJ, CMLL or WWE so what do I know?!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Nakamura's send-off was pretty emotional. The match was solid as expected. But NOW I get what I was wanting before, and a followup match at that...

SHIBATA/ISHII 2: THE ULTIMATE IN SADOMASOCHISM

Ross and Barnett are cracking me up with their commentary, initially. That's the only humor to be had as this is just a mutual slaughter. As written about when I initially saw it, there is a lot of Fighting Spirit here but if these guys are willing to absolutely die for our pleasure you cannot argue. Shibata's kicks sound and look like a baseball bat hitting a pumpkin in HD. You have to at least respect what these guys are doing, but as Warmaster said there are diminishing returns, and who knows if either man could possibly cut another match that equals or tops this or especially the first for plain brutality. Someone would have to be opened hardway real real bad and there would have to be a stoppage, or someone would have to end up stretchered. This is as close to it gets to that. Don't Try This At Home kids (or in a ring, for that matter).

GOTO/OKADA

Goto is all painted up and Warmaster mentions Hakushi. Goto doesn't quite get the boos of Korakuen but it's clear who the crowd favorite is; Osaka isn't his friend either. Its kind of sad really because Goto has worked so hard for so long but never gotten any traction. JR and Barnett talk about TNA wasting Okada's time there and the laughs continue again. Goto unfortunately is channeling Shinzaki in his ringwork too as he's plodding as hell. His stiffness gradually increases though and he does get some crowd support for that reason alone. It's actually some good psychology as JR points out as Okada would prefer a faster and self-dictated pace. Then we get into Okada By Numbers though and no matter how pretty his elbowdrop or his dropkick are I just don't really care too much, Goto can't really get any traction from the crowd either. I don't know if he wins or not but I doubt it and if he did the crowd would just release a collective wet fart. There's liquor to drink and records to play so go find out how this ends yourself. 

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Honma/Makabe vs. Anderson/Gallows II was damn good. The Club has some really sweet offense and double teams and they beat on Honma and beat on him, trying to wreck his arm. Makabe gets kept out of the ring and when he comes in he just crowbars them with lariats and that's pretty much it. Eventually there's the Doomsday Device with the headbutt and both finishers for the pin. Great match for the final appearance of Anderson and Gallows and they actually seem emotional in leaving along with Tama and Fale. The whole match revolved around Honma though, and he continues to be one of wrestlers I shouldn't want to watch but can't help but do, just because he's so good. 

KUSHIDA/BUSHI has me immediately liking BUSHI for his breakdance-style kip up that he follows up by just spitting on Kushida. Then while EVIL tries to knock his head off with a chair he lays on the apron waiting for him to reenter, chin in hands, like a super dick. Not to mention the fake handshake into eye rake, the fishhooking of the mouth, taking off his shirt and choking with it off an Irish whip (Warmaster: "I think we need shirt control.") Sometimes some good old cheap heeling is just what the doctor ordered. It disappoints me that he doesn't have a full bodysuit with the checker pattern on it after he takes off the shirt though; if you're gonna go sleazy, max it out. Kushida rips the mask and I guess his faux Mexican pride takes over and he gets PISSED. Then the funniest thing ever, he fakes a fight for a backslide, switches it to trying it on the ref to mist Kushida yet again, nuts him and tries the backslide again. God, it's so good. Kushida finally gets the Hoverboard Lock while the seconds battle Los Ingovernables. They're so much better than Bullet Club doing the same things Bullet Club does. There were also two fly as hell topes from both men and an opening reversal exchange that didn't make me want to puke! Nice pair of matches.

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Okay, second episode. More realtime. Consider it improv, like King Crimson, or if you don't like it, like Phish

Tanahashi/Omega starts with a long, vulgar interview about the match with Omega which I wouldn't watch if you won't wanna be spoiled. Not very bright, NJ. Surprisingly Omega sends the goons to the back so he can work a straight match. Tana steals Nakamura's moves for a cheap pop, but it it actually works for me too. Omega hits a shoulderbreaker! You never ever see that anymore (speaking of stealing moves, since this is New Japan I guess that's a Scott Norton reference). Ross is as always good at playing up the match psychology which is better than him yet again bitching about the closed fist as in the last ep. Barnett is also good at covering for Omega working on the wrong arm before he goes back to it and DAMN that is a mean sub, Barnett mentions the Rings of Saturn and I am even more full-in on Omega now. Tana does the AJ (or Tito) flying forearm for another reference which is fun. This match is so reverential to other workers while being well-sold and intense. Tana goes to the leg with Dragon Screw but Omega continues with the references with yet another Fujiwara armbar which is just vicious. And Omega busts out a Finlay Roll? I know we've talked a bit about wrestlers all being thieves of each others work recently, but this is almost meta. I was about to talk about how wonderfully logical this all was before Tana uses the Texas Cloverleaf for a long time (which still looked good) and then the Bucks appear after extended, illogical distraction to attack Tana. JESUS Poisoned Frankensteiner. There's more dumb interference but Tana busts out the best Code Red and Sling Blade I've ever seen; Omega's taking of both are probably why they look so good. He's still selling the knee but says fuck it and does two Boma Ye's to re-reference Nakamura. Then a third and One-Winged Angel for the pin and the IC title. Tanahashi pulls it out when he's inspired. Omega is too greasy and too skilled for me not to like. I'll give it a yes vote, though the Club bullshit could have stayed at home for at least one -- ONE -- night. 

Woof that was a lot of writing, read at your own risk, not editing at all now. Next week is Goto probably losing again to Naito for the NJ Cup which he's still won before, and if Goto wins as he has before I'm sure they'll just cut his nuts off again. The Cleaner, meanwhile, is your worker, talker (with good Japanese too), and singer (?!). And champion. And he sells the leg while celebrating! Then shoots again on commentary. Whatta heel...

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  • 2 weeks later...

If you missed Gerald Harris pretty much powerbombing some guy's head through the mat in the final Legacy show right before this, go look up the clip when it shows up on Youtube. Grim as any head-drop in the pro. Anyway now on is

WORLD PRO WRESTLING 12/2/16

Guerrillas of Destiny vs. Makabe/Honma: This is the Tonga Bros. (one the former Camacho?! didn't know that) against the champs. Chono and Yamazaki are on Japanese commentary and -- resist the urge to vomit -- Kevin Kelly and Steve Corino (ugh) are on English so you better thank your lucky stars that Good Ol' JR is there to complain about things instead. Tama does a funny little do-si-do with Honma where they run the ropes wildly. I guess that's something Tama does because he does another slide on the mat into a dropkick later. Honma hits a mean running headbutt under Tama's jaw, there are some nice suplexes, the brothers win the belts with some double teams on Honma. Nothing special really. 

Tanahashi/Elgin/YOSHITATSU vs. Omega/Bucks: Well hey, speaking of forgotten faces, it's Yoshi! This is his return to the ring since AJ broke his neck 499 days prior with the Styles Clash; I'm seeing him for the first time since he was in freakin' WWE. Oh yeah this is for the NEVER Openweight Six-Man titles. Omega curses and the Bucks say they're better than New Day to the camera. Sorry boys, you already failed trying to work for New York, try again later. After leaving the room to grab a beer Bullet Club is already cheating on the outside and there's a busted-up, very solid-looking trashcan put over Elgin's head which gets superkicked as he slides forward on a piece of equipment. I guess something happened to Cody Hall who came out with the Club because they rush in to stretcher him out. JR gets up on his soapbox about how Bill Watts would never allow the backrake. Shut up and go with it, Jim. Yoshi and Elgin disappear for a looooooooong heat stretch on Tana; they eventually return but get freeze sprayed by Omega. This whole comedy heel schtick is getting old even with Omega as fresh obnoxious blood. At least Elgin is there to throw people around like toys, and that's how the titles switch. At a certain point the Bullet Club matches make you feel like JR and you wish the Texas Tornado rules as soon as they show up aren't there and instead Joe Higuchi is waving his finger in their faces. They give Yoshi a nice win at least, but then everyone walks off when he wants to start a "Hunter Club". At least he walks off from Captain New Japan! What happened to Cody while I was in the kitchen? Looks like he ate it when someone dove. 

WORLD PRO WRESTLING 12/2/16 PT. II

Shibata vs. Tenzan: I immediately question anyone letting Tenzan's fragile, 45-year old spine come into contact with Katsuyori Shibata. Then I remember this is Japan. And then, OH SHIT I REMEMBER I'VE SEEN THIS ALREADY. I'm gonna shut up and watch it again. 

Yeah, this is a fucking great match. Ten minutes of Tenzan going balls-out and threatening his own welfare against the meanest man in New Japan, who kicks Nagata in the head after bowing to Tenzan. Goddamn give me that match right now because I don't recall seeing it either. Tenzan throws headbutts in this like a wild ram and his Cobra Clutch is awesome. Afterwards, Tenzan is a pissed-off old man and Shibata is an arrogant young(er) prick. WATCH THIS. 

KUSHIDA vs. Will Ospreay: Another first, never seen Will Ospreay or any of these new British cats yet, unlike most all of y'all. Kushida is pretty cool in his interview spurning "top ten" type tradition by taking on Will because he doesn't wanna be that "boring guy". Gotta love Kushida trying to lure Will in for the Lady in the Lake as a nod to the UK style. Also him kicking Ospreay right in the gut when he decides to do a springboard flip. Damn, is Kushida channeling Finlay in this? He's just banging and stretching on Ospreay's wrist like he's trying to break it and he sells it like mad. He's really great at busting out flying moves at high speed while still selling the arm and not using it. The strike battle is pretty hot but finishing that with a cooperative flippy whatever (Spanish Fly? I dunno) is pretty unfortunate, yet at the same time fitting. This is a neat mix here with strong limbwork that isn't ruined by no-selling for the high flying. Hell of a match, and another good notch on Kushida's staff. Will is great and I'd like to see more of him but the style might be a bit of a challenge, one I'm willing to undertake however. Liger challenges after and I really REALLY want to see that, just because, well, it's Liger. It might be more fun to see him dance with Castle's Boys but it'll be even better to see him challenge the top NJ Jr. Champ. 

Overall, fun pair of episodes. Take your reservations on the first but make it on time for the second by far. AJ and Shinsuke might be gone but NJPW has nothing to worry about. 

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Pete, not sure what our current DirecTV setup is but we get the Encore channels and no HBO/Cine/Show, but do get AXS, El Rey, etc. That might be the halfway premium movie tier or whatever. 

Of course I have no idea what that has to do with Time Warner so nevermind; maybe others can use it for reference

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If you are interested in seeing more of Ospreay, he's now rolling with RoH and

Spoiler

he's already a former TV champ having transitioned the title from Bobby Fish to Marty Scurll.  Hopefully ROH will work a program with these two on ROH TV.

 

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On December 3, 2016 at 2:30 AM, Curt McGirt said:

 

What happened to Cody while I was in the kitchen? Looks like he ate it when someone dove. 

 

One of the young bucks did a front flip off the balcony onto all seven or eight guys that were fighting below. Cody took the brunt of it though everyone else pretended to be hit and fell down as well. This was where I deleted the recording so didn't know they carted Cody off

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On 12/3/2016 at 2:46 AM, Curt McGirt said:

Pete, not sure what our current DirecTV setup is but we get the Encore channels and no HBO/Cine/Show, but do get AXS, El Rey, etc. That might be the halfway premium movie tier or whatever. 

Of course I have no idea what that has to do with Time Warner so nevermind; maybe others can use it for reference

I swung by TWC on the way to work and figured it out- they're now Spectrum but we're still squatting on the old TWC lineup, so I need to get with them on switching things over. 

Ooh, we'd have Willow and One World Sports too. If the missus is going to drive me nuts with all the shit she wants to do to Trump, I'll drive her just as nuts with cricket and Chinese Arena Football. :lol:

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Just listened for the most part but Naito/Okada pretty much made Naito out to be New Japan's Trump, especially the aggrieved announcing of JR and Barnett. Judging from what I looked up to watch, especially the celebration and post-match, the comparison is prescient.

NJPW at freakin HAKATA STAR LANES?! Awesome! So you can go to a bowling alley in Japan and see Hiroshi Tanahashi and Kenny Omega. The only match I've ever seen there that I recall was a Diamond Ring (or something) match with a bunch of cruisers and it looked darker and tinier, here it looks smokier. Either the fog machine went off or they still allow indoor smoking in Japan. Tanahashi/Fale is basically Shawn Michaels vs. Curtis Hughes so if that floats your boat get to it. Befitting the venue, Tana in the post-match interview is just laying on the floor in the back next to the loading dock door. 

Fuck you Sammy Hagar get off my TV screen

They really shouldn't run these Omega interviews before the match because they give away the ending. Elgin lets JR gets his Dr. Death reference out of the way right off the bat; Omega comes out with a ladder (suitably tiny for the venue) and a trash can with his mop in it so Josh can make an ECW reference. JR keeps rambling about his podcast and it sounds like they cut him off. He is really grating on my nerves tonight and is making Warmaster somewhat pissy in attitude as well. Can we just have Mauro back please? Elgin throws a forearm that they call a straight right that is just vicious. Boy JR and Barnett just don't give a fuck anymore and they will pick a match apart at whim. Not like they don't have legit complaints, but just STOP once in awhile. It's MST3K now and I'm checking out, see you next week for 

SHIBATA VS. NAGATA MOTHERFUCKAS~!

Oh and Ishii headbutting Naito right in the jaw

EDIT: Okay, I'll be fair to the match. Both guys take some disgusting and unnecessary bumps (a powerbomb through a vertically-set table over the top to Omega that was straight Masato Tanaka; two Poisoned Frankensteiners with the first one making Elgin look like he actually had a neck to break). Omega steals it with a bunch of Boma Yes and the One Winged Angel. 

Meanwhile, next week we ALSO get to see LIGER VS. KUSHIDA~! So yeah, just tune in next week. 

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Marathon time! Got the night off due to freezing rain combined with my long commute so it's a booze and New Japan evening. 

EPISODE ONE

I missed

Goto/Evil, probably for best

OKADA/SANADA: Well hey lookit there's Seiya Sanada... right? Or am I confused? JR and Warmaster make fun of his "Cold Skull" tights and Warmaster doubles up with a reference to Lawler/Embry after a piledriver on the outside. This is a bit better than the average Okada By Numbers Epic Match because SANADA gets some offense and hope spots when you don't think he would. The fight for the Tombstone is way better than the crappy Rainmaker that hits SANADA in the clavicle. 

LIGER/KUSHIDA: It's still incredible to hear Liger's theme music on your fucking television without putting in a tape or a DVD. Kushida looks stressed coming in and do you blame him? He's only up against the greatest junior heavyweight in NJ history (Eddy, Dynamite, and Dynamite II notwithstanding). Love Kushida immediately going after Liger's arm and then Liger going after Kushida's knee after a flip that seems to tweak it. As I do Liger stealing the Kimura (whoops, sorry Barnett, "double wristlock") against him. Great match with Kushida finally grabbing the Hoverboard Lock and cranking Liger's fingers like he wanted to take them home to steal the victory. Liger can still go and it seems like Kushida got the torch passed to him while still asking for another chance and that is just the best. JR: "It's matches like this that make you happy to be a wrestling broadcaster. Proud of this."

EPISODE TWO

TANAHASHI/ELGIN/YOSHITATSU vs. OMEGA/BUCKS: Here we go with a repeat of a previous matchup. The Bucks' gear (or pajamas per JR) with different photos of their faces covering them is incredibly ridiculous; it looks like some David Cronenberg/Frank Henenlotter nightmare where their bodies are erupting with tiny heads. The match is a mess of double teams and dives from the jump. And cursing, of course. JR finally mentions how Bullet Club are ripping off the NWO and follows that with "the crowd likes the 'suck it' tonight" which made me laugh more than it should. After that he says "it has denigrated into wrestling Hell" because of the stupidity with the cold spray, etc. and he's right. Stupid, stupid match. Yamazaki should've stole the one Jacksons' headband when he leaned in to yell at him. Elgin has a bright future as long as he doesn't let them concuss him to death. What a fucking mess. Tanahashi seems to know this and lays on the outside through most everything, until they try and cripple Yoshi. Yuck. 

Gedo's WWE worship is getting ridiculous with booking a ladder match for the IWGP title but hey, it is different I guess

SHIBATA/NAGATA: Now HERE is where we get to the meat. Nagata is old and beaten up but still has the fire to prove himself. Shibata is King Prick A #1 and doesn't give a fuck about the old crew because he just beat Tenzan in a super match where Shibata kicked Yuji right in the face when he was looking in on his buddy. Simple, hostile, perfect. You don't get a better story for a wrestling match. 

This takes about halfway through to pick up but after Shibata kicks Nagata in the face and he stands right up and knees him in the face shit picks right up. A total "I can't stands no more" moment. AND NAGATA FUCKING WINS. Holy shit. That was awesome. Lumpy, warty-ass 48 year old Nagata puts Shibata right in his fucking place. Amazing.

EPISODE THREE

NAITO/ISHII: Okay I got interrupted by a phonecall about how bad outside it is and friends being stupid and trying to go to movies in the weather anyway, but Ishii and Naito is about what you expect: Smash fucking mouth, and not the awful band. JR and Warmaster ramble on about Billy Robinson and Karl Gotch but stop when the brutality steps up. Ishii shows off his ground game with a sick Victor roll which unfortunately is ignored. Then we get a ref bump, vicious chair shot outside from Evil (you shouldn't do that to Ishii he'll come back and rearrange your jawline), and I am really not feeling the mix of interference and direct, balls-out Strong Style. At least the latter is overcoming the former. Ishii actually gets some awesome leg submissions in before interference and a ref bump (of course), then they clear out everyone and go back to trying to break each other's jaws. DISGUSTING DDT from Naito that lays Ishii, Even MORE disgusting brainbuster on Naito. I yelled out loud at that one. Goddamn they have just gone full balls-out here. The Destino looks like crap in comparison for what they build it up to and I want a rematch where Ishii takes the fucking belt. He's earned it.

Well that was the shit, for the most part. Forget Shibata, Ishii is your MVP of the year. March Madness, I welcome you...

 

 

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I assume they're going to burn through the rest of the year over the next three weeks to catch up since this was May. I assume we'd get the G1 stuff next? I'm watching the Liger/Kushida episode right now.

 

Alright, Liger/Kushida was pretty dope. Nagata/Shibata was a slugfest. The few Nagata matches that are shown on the show are always pretty good. I assume due to age he's mostly in tag matches right?

 

Iishi/Naito was brutal, especially that high angle reverse ddt by Iishi.

Edited by Ramo2653
Finished watching the rest of the episodes
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  • 2 weeks later...

Okay cool, now they're replaying the ep I missed due to Lion Fights. From October 14 on US shores: 

The 4-WAY TAG consists of reDragon (title holders), Young Bucks, Roppongi Vice, and Ricochet/Sydal. To be expected, there are a ton of dives, double teams, big moves and Cody Hall interference; at one point he Razor's Edges somebody over the top onto the pile of guys outside. After the break it seems they're pretty much trading off going at it with the Bucks. They do a funny four-way suplex where Romero gets confused and runs circles around the men trying to find which end to grab onto. Everything is worked like a tornado tag but the Bucks for some reason sneak in a tag and pin either Baretta or Romero for the belts. Fun match, if you like the go-go Dragon Gate highspot sprint style. 

SHIBATA/ISHII I: Shibata has a shirt on that simply says "THE WRESTLER" in white on black in the post-match interview. He slaps the camera on the way to the ring so not even they are immune to the violence. They might have PTSD after filming this. Ishii's shirt says "TOUGH AND HARD" which says as much about him as Shibata's does him. 

(Side note: Smokin' Jo saying "I'm gonna kick you, what you gonna do?" in that post-Lion Fight interview still makes me laugh.)

Well, what can I say? Bell rings, they run straight at each other. The NJ strike exchange being both guys sitting down for the other to kick them in the back is just sadomasochistic. Then Shibata lets Ishii chop him until he kips up into an elbow that DROPS Ishii. Why he didn't wear a mouthpiece for this is beyond me. Trivia: the reason the face-scrapes by the leg in the corner are called a facewash is because of the Japanese phrase "kao o aratte denaoshite ko" which translates to "go wash your face and come back", spoken after beating someone's ass. It was an album title for the legendary Japanese hardcore punk band Gauze. These guys just batter each other back and forth until both of them drop. JR says Ishii doing a missile dropkick is like an SUV doing a dropkick. Ishii grabs a leg on a PK attempt and headbutts him directly under the chin. Then they exchange shoot headbutts and JR says "this is obscene brutality". After the PK that wins he says "this was (some amount of minutes) and seventeen seconds of Hell", which accurately sums it up. I'd have to watch their second match back to back with this to see which is better, but no matter what, they are the two most violent matches you are gonna see where nobody gets thrown into glass or has a kenzan rammed into their skull. With any luck, we get a third and Ishii can bring the NEVER belt back to his waist. Watch or die (or watch AND die!). 

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  • 2 weeks later...

WORLD PRO WRESTLING 1/13/17

WRESTLE KINGDOM 11 -- "SIX STARS"... FEATURING OKADA AND OMEGA. AND JOSH BARNETT AND JIM ROSS

Well, to start, the Terminator gimmick is way more fitting than "the Cleaner". Gedo apparently wearing leggings/hose or something is funny. Now it's time to lay back and let the next hour unfold, for better or worse. 

Verdict: WORSE. I was with this until Okada decided to just go on offense after eating the most violent missile dropkick to the back of his head ever. I stuck around through the exploding table and the Avalanche Dragon that should have ended ANY match. And then after that they just spam us with legit finishers for another, what, 20 minutes? Any single one of Omega's knees would have ended any match. This isn't Crossfit wrestling, it's superhero wrestling. They could have went with a story about Okada's back and instead went with All Japan '90s headdropping, only with better strikes. Don't get me wrong, it was plenty entertaining, but the best and most painful spot (out of a thousand) was the simplest one: Omega bodyslams Okada back-first into the apron. And that was well before they went batshit. Overkill defined, this one; enjoy it in bits and pieces.

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Tanahashi/Naito from WK11 was better than Omega/Okada IMO, though I didn't pay complete attention the entire time (the trios tag was just me popping my head up when one of the Tonga kids yelled an expletive). I'll take a match with legwork and big, mean looking spots over one that's just go go go with a couple of enormous spots. And they sold their legs despite having to ignore them at points -- the part where they were doing the NJ Forearm Exchange and stopped for the NJ Knee-Stomp Exchange was particularly tickling. Tana made sure to splat all of his weight on Naito from on high several times (the Flow to the floor looked to land directly on his face) and Naito was such a dick pulling hair and spitting at Tana not once but twice. The Destino might be an overly complicated and secondary finisher at best but the top rope one was cool. The problem with this (and WWE as well) is that they have to spam the finisher for any big match nowadays. Let the end be a fucking tapout like it should be. 

All said and done I'd give this a rewatch anytime. Omega/Okada, not so much. Also have to say, Josh Barnett is the best play by play guy in a long, long time and the little cracks he makes just makes me want to sit down and drink with the guy. I swear it doesn't have anything with him being a metalhead...

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