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The Really Swell News Thread


OSJ

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2 hours ago, Pete said:

Cindy just got the good word that she's switching jobs to a firm which just moved in across the street from my current workplace. Even more hilarious, my company is going to move there as well next year. Anyone else have that kind of situation where you and your SO can commute from home to the exact same office building? 

I've worked in the same building as my wife for going on 17 years now.  Can't see her desk from mine, but I can hear her shouting at her phone when she gets pissed at somebody.  We've rarely driven in together, since our schedules usually don't line up.  Our employer sent both of us out to California for a meeting a few years back.  We don't share a last lame, so nobody there realized we were married.  Folks were a little baffled at us sharing a hotel room till we clued em in.  Thought it was just the company being really cheap.

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I got a Not Guilty By Reason of Insanity this week.  It was the first Not Guilty By Reason of Insanity since 2007 in this particular county.  Client was found competent to stand trial, but was found to be insane at the time of the offense.  Client was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia, and was absolutely convinced he was acting in self-defense.  It was clear, however, that he was operating under very severe paranoid delusions.  He was facing life in prison.  Instead, he's heading to the state hospital for 30 days to assess his dangerousness.  After that, we'll review with the court whether to release him once a year.  He would have died in prison within six months. 

These things are so rare, I'm gonna enjoy this one. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Tuesday afternoon: get notification that I am being given a conditional offer of employment for a state government position I interviewed for last month, pending a background check; I already work for the state, so a.) this is more of a promotion, and b.) whatever background they want of me, they probably have most of it. Now I just wait for the final word.

Thursday afternoon: I won a $50 gift card to Giant (supermarket chain on the east coast) by calling into a radio contest.

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  • 3 weeks later...
16 hours ago, Control said:

I have a book coming out this month

Pre-order the paperback for the low low price of $22.46 Canadian.

This actually sounds quite interesting, anytime you are going to discuss Capote, Carver and Mailer in the same context you have my interest. Just to throw a monkey-wrench into the works, but didn't Harry Crews also have some pieces in Esquire during this same time frame and if so, why is he not included? ?

Okay, did your contract call for the publisher to give a case each of hardcovers and trade paperbacks. If not, it may not be too late to ask. Ask in the context of you need promotional copies for local newspapers, TV, and radio stations. Stress that you will need both hardcovers and trade paperbacks as you want upscale markets talking about the hardcover, not the paperback, and the radio and tv people will talk about what they have in hand. Most newspapers won't bother reviewing something unless it's in hardcover. This is exactly what you tell your publisher: (You certainly don't want to be the guy that asks a newspaper to discuss the hardcover while you give them a paperback to work with. There's an industry term for people that do that, iy rhymes with "peep dastard". Anyway, the person you should be talking to is someone in your publisher's publicity or marketing department. They get paid a decent salary for giving shit away, the fact that you are willing to do their job for them will make you a hero. When you get your two cases of books give one copy each to a local paper, tv station, and send one to Ramsey (from this here board), and there's your radio station. There, you have told the truth, you have distributed copies to print, radio, and tv sites. Now sell the rest of the books to friends and relatives for 50% off. If anyone bitches about having to pay just say "This is what I do for a living, I don't call you up and ask you to _______ (whatever it is that they do) for free, do I?" Of course, if you do, just give 'em a fucking book... 

Okay, they generally pack 24 books to a case (just like beer, haha) so here's what you're looking at (I rounded the paperbacks up to $15.00 as you will sell more books at $15.00 than you will at $14.98, trust me on this)... $15.00 is either a $10 & a $5 with no change or a $20 with a $5 back (make sure that you start carrying a few $5's in your wallet). Anyway, neither of the above transactions requires thought, $14.98 requires thought. 

21 copies x $15.00 (remember, you gave three away to media outlets) = $315.00

23 copies x $40 = $920.00 + 315.00 = $1235 (CDN). "Why only 23 copies of the hardcover when they come 24 to the case?"  That's because I fully expect an autographed copy from the author in gratitude for me showing him how to make $1235.00 in free money for doing fuck all except guilting friends and relatives into buying the book. ? 

If any friends or relatives are on a sports team, preferably one that's played more or less in street clothes like darts, bowling, snooker, etc. (in other words, games where you keep your wallet or purse with you). you're in like Flint as after you've sold a copy to your friend or relative they will make damn sure that everyone else on the team buys one. You can PM me for my mailing address. 

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Lol. A grand scheme were this not an academic publisher. 24 hardcovers would be like a third of the entire print run.

Scholarly books rarely have a second printing, but I’m hoping that the low price + topic means I can sell out the 300 printed paperbacks.

 

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I hit 6 months clean at the end of September and, after speaking with my probation officer this morning, found out I am most likely going to be cut loose from my federal probation in early December. I'm not scheduled to be off until the end of March 2019 but he's impressed with how I've kept clean and changed a lot of things in my life so he's going to step up to bat with the judge for me. 

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1 hour ago, RazorbladeKiss87 said:

I hit 6 months clean at the end of September and, after speaking with my probation officer this morning, found out I am most likely going to be cut loose from my federal probation in early December. I'm not scheduled to be off until the end of March 2019 but he's impressed with how I've kept clean and changed a lot of things in my life so he's going to step up to bat with the judge for me. 

Congrats on 6 months! The first six months are the hardest, now it's just one day at a time. No one expects anyone to stay sober forever, that's a ridiculous concept. Conversely, any fucking idiot can put off taking a drink (or drug) until the next day. That's all you have to do is just stay clean today. 

If a drunken Irish bastard like me who thought a pint of vodka and half an eightball was what's for breakfast can do this one day at a time stuff for just over 30 years, ANYONE can do it. 

I ain't gonna fly to Ohio to give you your one year coin, but I might just mail ya one, keep us posted. Good on ya, mate!

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10 hours ago, OSJ said:

Congrats on 6 months! The first six months are the hardest, now it's just one day at a time. No one expects anyone to stay sober forever, that's a ridiculous concept. Conversely, any fucking idiot can put off taking a drink (or drug) until the next day. That's all you have to do is just stay clean today. 

If a drunken Irish bastard like me who thought a pint of vodka and half an eightball was what's for breakfast can do this one day at a time stuff for just over 30 years, ANYONE can do it. 

I ain't gonna fly to Ohio to give you your one year coin, but I might just mail ya one, keep us posted. Good on ya, mate!

Thank you! It always helps to hear from others who have done it.

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5 hours ago, RazorbladeKiss87 said:

Thank you! It always helps to hear from others who have done it.

Not as much as it helps me to hear from someone just setting out on this fabulous road we call sobriety. 

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1 hour ago, Control said:

Come on, 3 reactions? I’ve been posting here for 17 years. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ask me how many of these cheap bastards bought my last book... ? 

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11 minutes ago, AxB said:

I bought my Dad Shadows over Baker Street for his birthday a few years ago.

Thank you! I hope he enjoyed it! He a Lovecraft guy or a Holmes guy, or both? 

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A few years ago I took time off my degree because my physical condition deteriorated so much that I couldn't sit through long lectures because I'd start crying from the pain in my leg. I went from the Deans List to failing two classes in one semester.

Today was my first time getting myself home from college, and while it was painful, I only had to stop and sit down twice. Previously, I went from bench to bench, sometimes only making it a few dozen feet.

So uh that rules

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On 10/11/2018 at 8:15 PM, AxB said:

He's Lovecraft all the way. Although he's also a bigtime Jack Vance guy.

My favorite author of all-time any genre.

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