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TNA Impact Wrestling 8-1-13


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Is Tito gonna fight for Bellator soon or something? Isn't he like 100 years old? I don't know dick about MMA though.

Good lord it was awkward to have him just standing there for 14 hours with his arms crossed way too high and looking around.

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Missed the first half hour or so of this, coming in just as they were recapping Roode/Hernandez, but I enjoyed what I saw. I'm surprised no one's made a joke about the Anonymous Raw General Manager being in the backseat of the Hummer.

 

Mr. Anderson may not have been the most inspired guy in the ring these days, but he's still fun on the mic now that he's the VP of Aces and 8s. I wish everyone got a title, though. Like Executive Assistant Wes Briscoe, or Garret Bischoff, Customer Service Representative.

 

I have never liked Sabin, and I like him even less in this current run. TNA seems to have a knack for overlooking good X-Division guys in favour of the boring "normal" ones (see them putting Not!Trent Baretta over a couple of guys with actual hooks two weeks ago.) Weird to have Manik (that's Kinam spelled backwards!) chilling backstage without his mask, talking about his real identity. Also, I hate the Suicide/Manik costume. It is so obviously a video game costume, and it looks all awkwardly padded in places. Still, I'm glad to see them giving the X Division some spotlight time lately.

 

Aries/Styles was good except for the really shoddy double pin finish. That was some Bully Ray level getting into position by Aries.

 

As much as I liked Aries/Styles, though, Gail Kim and ODB had the match of the night. The Knockouts are really bringing it these days, aren't they? I wonder if the quarter-hour breakdowns are reflecting that.

 

Amusing moment: Kurt Angle tells the five members of Aces & 8s that the MEM will take on "any five of them." I guess technically Bully's in there too, but he's a little busy.

 

And boy, does Adam Pearce look low-rent after the August1Warning reveal. Never seen the guy wrestle, no opinion on him as a human being, but his attempt to piggyback on the publicity was Matt Hardy levels of embarassing.

 

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So, dad and I were discussing who Augustus Earsman was (I declared that I would call the revealed guy by that name from now on regardless of who it was). He said Bob Holly based on baldness and EARS and "He just wrestled a match for TNA". I pointed out that a lot of people were thinking Low Ki, and some people were amazingly somehow thinking it was Davey Richards.

 

Then I said this jokingly: "Maybe we should be thinking about which MMA guy it could be."

 

Then... the reveal... Sigh.

 

Enjoyable show, nonetheless.

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Fun show for the most part. It's good to see they have faith in Chris Sabin by not even having him in the main event. Manik is just a horrible character. Why not just let him be TJ Perkins especially if they're gonna have him without his mask backstage. Keep the mask, maybe just lose the body suit.

 

Joe Park teaming up with Eric Young was hilarious. When he did the turnbuckle thing and then looked at Jay Bradley and said "it's the helmet" I couldn't stop laughing. The crowd wants to root for them so I am all for Joe Park slowly climbing up the standings. The Samoan Drop was a good fluke finisher for him.

 

ODB/Gail was pretty good. You know, ODB might be something for them if they actually use her. Diva Mickie vs. Trailer ODB could be a fun feud.

 

AJ/AA was a damn good match. It's just a shame that they were killing each other in a match no one was going to see.

 

I really hope they didn't imply that if Bully signs the contract it's a "if he wins, Brooke gets her divorce" stipulation. That would probably be a good time to turn her against Daddy, but I suspect they won't do that. Maybe Russo left behind an old notebook of un-used ideas or something.

 

Finally the big reveal being Tito Ortiz. You know what, I guess it makes sense since Bellator and them have a relationship. But you know what doesn't make sense? Them hyping this up like it was something that's been going on for the last two months. They only started this the other day. You could hear a pin drop when Tito came out. The crowd didn't care one bit. I'm pretty certain most of them didn't even know what this August 1st shit was. TNA is not in a position where they can twitter a feud and hope for the best.

 

So Gunner got all pissy about people complaining and said everyone who got fired was because they needed the money for Tito. I wonder how much he got just to stand there and look glazed.

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HEY, WE CAN'T AFFORD TO PAY THESE WRESTLERS THEIR USUAL NICKEL AND DIME RATE...

 

OH, TITO, TAKE ALL THE MONEYS!

 

Fucking TNA...1 step forward, then a stumble to the right, 3 steps backwards, and then concussed by walking into a low hanging beam.  #askdixie has to be blowing up now.

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Man, is it normal to be able to watch all the in-ring action and some of the promos in just over an hour when you DVR this show?!  Seriously, how crazy is that!?

 

-Hernandez-Roode was okay.  Also it featured the worst referee in history where he was watching as Roode hit Hernandez in the junk, didn't DQ Roode for basically throwing chairs at him, turned his head while he was cleaning chairs out of the ring to allow Roode to hit Hernandez with a bottle, IGNORED the shards of broken glass in the ring while he made the three-count, ignored the fact that Hernandez's foot was under the rope when he began the count, noticed the glass after the match and didn't reverse the decision.  I mean, I know it's pro wrestling, but a man's got to have his limits when suspending his disbelief.

-Bradley-Park was fun.  I kinda want TNA to just put the World Title on Park because I don't think there's anyone else in the company that connects with them on the same level as him.

-Manik-Sabin was ehh though I kinda fell asleep during it.  I don't understand the Manik gimmick when the guy does promos with the mask off and even uses his name.  Somebody used the "Wait a minute, Manik backwards is Kinam?!" joke already, right?  Also, does Chris Sabin have the worst ring-gear of any World Champion in history?

-Gail Kim-ODB was okay but the ODB gimmick is literally the worst thing ever.  Like it drives me absolutely up the wall.  I hate it.  Hate it.  Everything about it.  Not sure ODB will be happy when she hears Tenay refer to her legs looking like tree trunks either.

-Gotta give a special shout-out to Brooke Hogan calling Bully Ray "Mark".  We're this close to Buff Bagwell talking about how he's going to go and find the boys in the back who write this crap, aren't we?!

-Styles-Aries was okay until the commercial break but turned really nasty after the break with a crushing dragon suplex by Styles, some hard clotheslines by Aries, some just really nasty bumps then went a little too-over-the-top with Aries and Styles no-selling shots at the end followed by a weak-ass ending.  But it was clearly the best match on the show by a significant margin.

-I was actually okay with the Tito reveal because there's no one short of Batista within wrestling who would be worth the hype and Ortiz should've turned pro wrestler YEARS ago. 

 

TOP 3 PERFORMANCES

3. Kim: She was lots of fun, blowing kisses and bumping like crazy.

2. Styles: Took a beating, gave a beating.  That emo hair and awful ring gear has to go, but what are you gonna do?!

1. Aries: Took a beating, gave a beating, looked good.

 

WORST 3 PERFORMANCES

3. Tazz: It's funny, he no longer sounds like a badass nor looks like a badass.  He can't wrestler anymore.  He shouldn't announce.  But he still gets two segments devoted to him.

2. Hernandez: He's a big dude who can do impressive things, but he has no idea how or when to do them or to build to them.

1. The ref in the first match.  Instead of getting Kazarian/Storm to live-tweet the show, maybe they should make male wrestlers become troubleshooting refs.

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Great opening with Aries and liked the promo exchange with Roode. Loved Roode going back to his old ways that got him the title in the first place, thought that worked really well. Park/Bradley was fun. Sabin/Manik felt really not special at all despite the champion vs champion hype, did like the delayed superplex though.

 

Gail/ODB was pretty awesome, Gail shined great as usual and it's good to see ODB in a featured match again.. should be another good feud for Gail. Really enjoyed Aries/Styles, it was a match I've wanted to see for the past year+ so it had that 'dream match' vibe going that they pushed a little bit. Some great spots throughout, great strikes towards the end. Finish wasn't the best but I hope maybe there will be a rematch if they make it to the final 4 in the series. Definitely the match I would've liked to have seen headline BFG.

 

The big reveal definitely fell pretty flat. I liked Tito's bellator debut last night but this seemed pretty awkward, especially ending the show on that with him just standing there while everyone is stunned. Seems like a very strange way for him to debut with those videos since his past times in TNA was just a guest referee 7-8 years ago.

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