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the dumbest wrestling card ever


jstout

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I do this "humor" thing on Facebook. Too convoluted to explain. Anyway, I just had the idea to "promote" the ultimate small-town wrestling card for a show that will be held inside a barn. Probably with the cows still inside.

 

Can you guys come up with "matches" for the show? The more outlandish the names and stips the better. If you wanna throw in real wrestlers, that's fine, I'll figure out a way to fake it or expain it, but let your imaginations run wild. Thanks for any help, I wanna see what you guys come up with.

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Davy Richards on a pole inside of a steel Davy Richards where if Davy Richards loses Davy Richards has to leave town for 30 days while Davy Richards wears a tuxedo and Davy Richards has to get a Davy Richards miner glove and Davy Richards has to wear a blindfold.

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Yoshi Wanzmi vs I. R. Studd in a "Battle for the Babe" contest. The winner gets to have for his valet, May B. Mann.

 

Dick Tugger vs  2 Fresh vs the referee in a 3 man battle royal. The winner gets fired.

 

"Big" Bubba Frisco vs Heavy Metal in a hog pin filled with bacon grease match. The winner gets to keep the bacon grease.

 

Penelope Williams vs Razorblade Rachael in a Hardcore Steel Cage Piss Break Before The Main Event Match. The winner gets free medical care.

 

THE MAIN EVENT:  Frank Lee Kewl  vs Jack Hoff in TNA Contract on a pole match. Jack Hoff no shows.

 

 

Ehh, I guess I could have done better if  had  some sleep today.

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There has to be a Farmer's Daughter match where the skeevy heel wins and she becomes his valet.

 

The loser is the nice guy that loved her but it turns out the nice guy is a stalker and she can't stand him and likes the heel,  She does the turn breaking up a pinfall after the face hits his finisher and reveals that he posted secret pictures of her on the web.

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There has to be a Farmer's Daughter match where the skeevy heel wins and she becomes his valet.

 

The loser is the nice guy that loved her but it turns out the nice guy is a stalker and she can't stand him and likes the heel,  She does the turn breaking up a pinfall after the face hits his finisher and reveals that he posted secret pictures of her on the web.

 

Ahhh, but is the face her brother and the heel her cousin, or vice versa?

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