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WWE Raw 9-29-14 - Raw is Komen


MGFanJay

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Even the opening video for the show recapping last week's show took ages. Authority started things off with a promo, and then it peaked with Steph's Punk burial since things just became a revolving door of talking after that. Loved all the antics of Noble and Mercury - mainly Noble. IC 3 way was fun, and easily the best match on hour one. Layla-Rosa match was just dreadful, although JBL burying it and Kidd not giving fuck one ruled. Dean's wacky skit with Seth was glorious, and led to a rare good vibrator joke on WWE TV thanks to Steph deadpanning things and Seth saying IT'S AN ELECTRIC RAZOR. It was set up nicely with him saying there were personal items in the case to start the show, so you knew something was coming, and they actually delivered a solid joke. Eva's ass was on point in the handicap match. Jesse Jackson's needless burial was a bit much, but Titus looked great in the comedy match and in his Komen promo. AJ's match wasn't very good, but I enjoyed her falling sofa dive off the top. Sheamus-Mizdow had entertaining commentary. Main event wasn't bad, but wasn't exciting either. This will be fine in highlights, but like a lot of Raw, just dragged on way too long in real-time.

 

http://jayreviewsthings.blogspot.com/2014/09/wwe-raw-9-29-14.html

 

Screens -

 

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Explicit Ambrose Facials

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http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/0lyrsu88vkmeioikrdb9qfu5yxm5d5qe

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Fun show thought.  The good thing about the booking on the show was that it just gave everyone room to be awesome.  And everyone responded.  So many individual people were so great in their segments in little ways and moments that it was really fun all the way through.

 

 

An early highlight:

 

HHH tells Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury to "get the job done."

 



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"Leave it to us, Daddy!"

 


 

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Dean was on fire tonight with some of those lines. The great thing with him is you have no idea if their scripted or not. Luke Harper singles push? fuck yes! Great to see Tyson on Raw I think he can get over if they give him some time.

 

I couldn't help but think how much better things would be with a top face that was actually over as a face. The faces coming up get no rub by teaming with Cena, and the heels get cheered when they kick his ass. That was a pretty big pop for the hot tag to Dean.

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I like how they're using the cabin segments to build the Wyatts back up after they've lost so much. The one about Harper where it abruptly cut to him standing outside staring at the camera for a brief second legitimately frightened me, as well as those flash cuts at the very end. It really is taking me back to Mankind playing with rats in the basement.

 

Jesse Jackson... really? Like I said in the general thread I'm surprised they didn't beg him to cut a promo and straight-up be an official guest. He held the bunny's arm up for an inordinate amount of time which was weird.

 

Ambrose is such a fucking star. Too many great lines, referencing the Cruiserweight division coming for him, "I swear you were Rosebuds last week", "You don't take food off my plate, even John Cena." The vibrator joke was unexpected even from the McMahons; I wonder what Jesse thought about that. Worked as a punchline though.

 

I'd make a joke about Henry needing to Be A Star but Bo Dallas is so throughly greasy that him entering the Hall of Pain was just fine.

 

Can Hardee's commercials (and dishes) get any more repulsive? I mean, nice tits, but those burgers... yuck yuck yuck. And also CAN WE PLEASE GET MORE CHRISLEY COMMERCIALS?! THERE SURE WEREN'T ENOUGH ON THIS BROADCAST!!! I NEED MORE SNARKY COMMENTS TO HIS CHILDREN AND HIS BEARD OF A WIFE!!!

 

I wonder if Cena legit hurt himself trying to AA Kane, that did not look good. Dean's hot tag was on some Daniel Bryan-level shit. I actually didn't mind the heels standing tall at the end. Then of course the smark Chicago crowd chants for Rollins, haha. Someone out there had a giant cutout of Scott Hall's mug shot which I thought was funny. They were real assholes during one of the divas matches which even the announcers couldn't ignore.

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Dean was on fire tonight with some of those lines. The great thing with him is you have no idea if their scripted or not. Luke Harper singles push? fuck yes! Great to see Tyson on Raw I think he can get over if they give him some time.

 

 

 

Ambrose/Rollins tonight was like CADDYSHACK: THE SERIES and I loved every second of it.

- We learned that Dean wanders from town to town like Kwai Chang Caine with a bag containing all his possessions on his shoulder and maybe eventually finds his way into one arena or another where there may or may not be a WWE show.

- We learned that, like Caine, the first thing Dean does when he gets to town is offend the wealthy local merchants and ranchers and give away free stuff to the peasants before being attacked by rancher's goons.

- We learned what happens when you open a suitcase casserole before it's done fermenting.

- We saw Dean in full Carl Spackler mode and Rollins in full Judge Smails mode and we learned that those are the best modes:  "LOOK AT ME!!!! I look like a jerk!!!!"

- We have a new extended version of Dean Ambrose' catch phrase which now stands as "I'm not dead and nobody takes food off my plate!!!"

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I heartily endorse Noble and Mercury as the new Stooges.

 

The Ambrose stolen t-shirt sale should've went on for 10 minutes longer with him taking money from the crowd in exchange for merch. But no, the idiot soap opera writers had to justify their existence by getting their "hilarious" exploding briefcase joke in...

 

Dean is going to be tremendous but it'll happen a lot sooner if they just let him be himself.

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This was such a great Raw. The stuff that was supposed to be funny actually was for once and everyone seemingly got to be terrific. Rusev's promo was great, threatening to rip out Show's intestines, bite him, and then kick him in the balls was some incredible heeling. Everything Ambrose did tonight was awesome, but we all know the Dean Ambrose character would've left a rancid fetid pile of shit in that briefcase. I also enjoyed Layla ripping out some of Rosa's weave and Alicia Fox bringing the rest of it to the ring with her.

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I think we all knew that no matter how good Tyson Kidd's gimmick and work has been in NXT that it will be completely nothing on RAW and Smackdown because of Cole and JBL and that was definitely proven.  Better just stay in NXT

 

GREAT KABUKI REFERENCE IN 2014  :D

 

Did I actually hear Michael Cole say that Seth Rollins was having his eyes "plucked out" because of the green slime?  Not sure how that is going to work unless he is traveling back to 1990 and working Stan Hansen 

 

Really a vibrator joke for seth Rollins?  

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Well, Austin said on Twitter that he shouldn't be a new Steve Austin, he should just be Dean Ambrose.  I agree with that.  And I'm confident he'll be great with what they give him.  This guy brings something special that people are seeing now.  Good for him.

 

Besides, it gives more for Piranesi to work with which I consider a big plus.

 

Oh, and Big Show with a Lebowski reference was fantastic.  I heartily enjoyed that line.

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Some questions brought up tonight-

 

Is Seth Rollins so cheap or so destitute that he can't afford luggage and has to haul his personal effects around in the MITB case?  Or does he just do that to avoid having to pay baggage fees on the airlines?

 

When Ambrose is unable or unwilling to hitchhike, steal vehicles, or stow away in the back of farm trucks carrying livestock to get from town to town does he just hide out in the truck that carries the merch supplies from town to town?  I could see him bedding down on a pile of clothes and getting his funk all over them only for them to be sold the next night.  Some little kid gets a new Cena shirt only to ask his mom why it smells like stale donuts and mustard.  As evidenced tonight he probably absconds with a bag full of merch to hawk on his own in order to buy a few gas station hot dogs after the show.  He probably lurks in the shady sections of town with a trench coat bartering or selling what he can.  That quarter he got for a Sheamus shirt probably kept him in ramen noodles for a week.

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Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a SPECIAL UPDATE FROM THE DEAN AMBROSE PROMOTIONAL TOUR UPDATE:

Apparently he started a business.  I was able to do some investigating and will be able to bring you throughout the evening these:

From the Yelp page for "AAADean Ambrose Home - Car - Personal security devices!"
 

 

 

**

 

We assumed our new Dean Ambrose alarm system would notify police in case of a break in.  It turns out it just sprayed what Mr. Ambrose calls "justice juice" all over our belongings so the thief wouldn't want them anymore.  It really just made the thief mad, though and he beat me up pretty bad and our cat seems to have...disolved?  Is that the word?  Installation was prompt but customer service seems to be nonexistant.  Like, he literally gave us a tin can and said to yell into it if we needed him.  I asked if he had a cell phone number and he said "Sixty nine" and started laughing.
 

 

Stay tuned...

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