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Confessions of a wrestling fan


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Thought it might be fun to unburden ourselves of some of our more embarrassing inclinations as wrestling fans; the shitty workers we can't help but love, the reviled figures we insist are just misunderstood, cringeworthy angles we can't look away from. Kneel in the confessional, my child, and cleanse yourself.

 

My first one probably isn't too uncommon a thing. I un-ironically loved the Spirit Squad. I have a soft spot for heel factions with unusual gimmicks (The Varsity Club, York Foundation) anyway, so these guys played into that, but I just felt they were so goofy, but committed to it, that I couldn't help enjoying them. The music, the trampoline, the whole shebang. I've been watching bits of the feud with DX (don't ask- that '06 DX run, by the way, is just the worst shit ever, and I better not catch anyone coming in here confessing an appreciation for that shower), and it's a bit of a tragedy the way they were buried out of the company (mostly).

 

While I think I will probably have some sympathisers in my Spirit Squad love, my next confession may very well get me thrown off the board. I always liked Mr Kennedy. Like, heel Mr Kennedy from when he first came around to when he was a babyface on Raw. I just thought (and still do think) that he was a very smart worker, and had a ton of charisma, and I would have bet anything on him being a big, big star for them. I still don't really get why people hate him so much. Ah, feels good to finally say that.

 

Okay, what have you got? Don't be shy.

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Alex Wright is one of the most underrated workers and if he went to WWF in 1995-1997 era he would have been a solid upper midcarder

 

That is nothing to be embarrassed about saying. He got rapidly better to the point that you can see him progress from Nitro to Nitro very clearly in '95-'96. Later on, he had something with the Berlyn character, what with the goth thing and the good-looking interpreter. 

 

I find watching Wright progress on replay is as fun as watching some of my favorite NXT guys and gals progress.

 

I liked the Taker vs. Taker feud from 1994. I loved the Midnight Rider angle. I think New Jack in SMW is one of the five best things I have ever seen in wrestling, ever. I think Matt Bourne as evil Doink is one of the twenty-five best. I really enjoy late 2000/early 2001 WCW. 

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I for some point in time...found Chyna to be quite attractive.  It was that time where she was the Women's champion where she actually looked really good.  Hard to believe now with what she's been like before and after, but I was definitely into her at the time.

 

Some guys I just became friends with had me watch Chyna's first porn years ago.  It was like an unannounced initiation.  I chugged a 40 of Steel Reserve and it still didn't help, holy fuck.

 

Somehow I feel justified for the first part yet so dirty at the same time for everything.

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My name is Caley, I've been a wrestling fan since coming home from a sleepover (which was like the first time I'd been up past midnight) and being just exhausted, so my turned on the TV and let me watch wrestling (She didn't appreciate the violence of it and was worried I'd try to imitate it) for the first time in 1991 and I've been a fan ever since and my...I'm sorry this is hard...my father doesn't seem to know that it's fake.  I've explained it to him many times, that it's all worked out, how they work to not hurt each other but make it look like they do, how who wins or loses is entirely dependent on who's in charge and what they're going for but...but he just doesn't seem to get it.  If I happen to be watching wrestling at his place, he'll come in and go "There's no way (For instance this past week it was Luke Harper and Erik Rowan) could beat (Big Show and Mark Henry).  Those guys are just too big and strong." "Dad, it's fake." "I know, but there's just no way."  then he gets annoyed if it doesn't go the way he wants "Oh how could the ref miss that?!" and "They can't do that!" (in regards to cheating).  He also will talk about how no one can beat some wrestler (who's a good guy) then talk about what a chickenshit he is when he turns heel.  I just can't get him to understand it.  

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I once put a cobra clutch on a girl I happened to be behind, as a mutually agreed-upon playful gag. I've said enough.

Statute of limitations not yet run out?

He also will talk about how no one can beat some wrestler (who's a good guy) then talk about what a chickenshit he is when he turns heel. I just can't get him to understand it.

It's still real to him, dammit.

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I was always a big mark for undercard guys who had actual gimmicks. Young me was a big fan of The 1-2-3 Kid, Sparky Plugg, Rad Radford, Adam Bomb, etc. The JOB Squad are one of my favorite stables.

All in on this as well. Crush was a huge favorite of mine back on the day, to the point I got a custom airbrushed Crush t shirt and painted my face like his when I went to a house show in the 90's. He wasn't even on the roster at the time.

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I wish there were more people like Caley's dad attending wrestling shows these days. 

 

Harlem Heat is my favorite tag team ever, and also I really like Stevie Ray even though he was objectively terrible. Well, at wrestling, at least. He was actually pretty awesome on color. 

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I actually thought Mr America and Hulk Hogan were different people. I wasn't 8, 9 or 10 years old I was 13 years old, 2 months from turning 14. I honest to god never put two and two together. I thought Mr America was a new wrestler hand to god when he debuted on that Pipers Pit. I was embarrassed when I finally realized it cuz it was painfully obvious that Mr. America and Hogan were the same person.

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My name is Caley, I've been a wrestling fan since coming home from a sleepover (which was like the first time I'd been up past midnight) and being just exhausted, so my turned on the TV and let me watch wrestling (She didn't appreciate the violence of it and was worried I'd try to imitate it) for the first time in 1991 and I've been a fan ever since and my...I'm sorry this is hard...my father doesn't seem to know that it's fake.  I've explained it to him many times, that it's all worked out, how they work to not hurt each other but make it look like they do, how who wins or loses is entirely dependent on who's in charge and what they're going for but...but he just doesn't seem to get it.  If I happen to be watching wrestling at his place, he'll come in and go "There's no way (For instance this past week it was Luke Harper and Erik Rowan) could beat (Big Show and Mark Henry).  Those guys are just too big and strong." "Dad, it's fake." "I know, but there's just no way."  then he gets annoyed if it doesn't go the way he wants "Oh how could the ref miss that?!" and "They can't do that!" (in regards to cheating).  He also will talk about how no one can beat some wrestler (who's a good guy) then talk about what a chickenshit he is when he turns heel.  I just can't get him to understand it.  

I can remember my father and I watching the highlights of Rick Martel beating Jumbo for the AWA title. At one point Martel drops an elbow on Jumbo's back and my father yelled "C'mon Rick, you're better than that!!"  Of course he had a pretty good idea about what pro wrestling really was, but he could suspend disbelief pretty easily. Fast-forward about  5 years and he is pretty messed up from having multiple strokes during an operation and would be for the rest of his life. He also becomes about 10x the wrestling fan he ever was and will brook no bullshit criticism about his viewing habits. When we would have conversations I would strive to speak to him as I had my entire life because I knew his mental acuity was far sharper than his body let on. But no matter what we discussed it would always end up on wrestling, which was fine with me. He has been gone for 14 years now. So I guess I'm just saying enjoy it while you can.

 

My personal confession is I'm still a nerd and always have been. Back in 2002 my ex-father-in-law, who works for the NAC as a doctor....if you watch UFC, he is Dr. Berliner, the older gentleman who always wears the purple shirt... got me backstage to Raw. As a way of saying thanks, I gave him a Randy Savage comp tape because he mentioned that Macho Man was a favorite to talk to when he was working backstage.  I took along a big ass stack of wrestling magazines for autographs. I got Rikishi, Regal, Booker T, Ron Simmons and Stone Cold. I promised myself I wouldn't interrupt anyone just to score an autograph, but Flair was there holding court with about a half a dozen people and there was just no other way it was going to happen. He was extremely gracious. I saw Jazz and Trish Stratus sitting in make-up chairs talking, but I was way too intimidated to approach them.  Dr. Berliner was a bit annoyed because everyone was supposed to come to his table to have their vitals checked, but Rock  was in the locker area talking over the main event with 'Taker, Stone Cold and Jericho, so he had to go to him.  We passed Stephanie walking down a corridor and she greeted us with an unexpectedly warm smile. I was walking around with the stupidest grin on my face. I was 35.

 

Also, as I had no experience collecting autographs, I brought along a couple of pens. To a man, I was chastised for not having a sharpie. 

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I wish there were more people like Caley's dad attending wrestling shows these days. 

 

Harlem Heat is my favorite tag team ever, and also I really like Stevie Ray even though he was objectively terrible. Well, at wrestling, at least. He was actually pretty awesome on color. 

I didn't think anyone would beat me to this, but Harlem Heat is also my favorite team ever, and it's not even close.

 

I was a massive Savio Vega fan in the mid 90's.

 

I thought Bull Buchanan would win the 2000 King of the Ring.

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Savio was pushed very strongly when he joined the WWF. He was Razor's friend, had good babyface fire, and had a strong push. No shame in liking him.

 

The day before the IYH: International Incident, I got Shawn Michaels' autograph. He mumbled something as he was signing the WWF promo deal, so I said "pardon me?" ... "*scoff noise* Hah, I'm not talking to you," he gave me my autograph and I was on my way. Disheartened but still a mark, I bought a pair of his awful heart-shaped glasses at the event but never wore them because they were hideous and even a 9-year-old dumbass knew that. Bret was better, btw.

 

I thought Rikishi's sultan gimmick was better than 'Kishi. He scared the shit out of me at the time and I have always loved me a monster heel. Furnas and Lafon were my favourite temporary WWF tag team back in the day.

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Tom Zenk is legit in my top 5 favourite wrestlers of all time. Fandango is my favourite current WWE roster member and I really believe that a push as "sleazy" Johnny Curtis a la NXT would make him a legitimate upper-mid carder. Also, I was a huge Scotty Riggs fan back in the day, and he was my go-to WCW Revenge character.

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Speaking of dads: when Nitro was red hot in 97/98 there was NO ONE more over with my dad than Wrath (with the exception of Hogan/the NWO as a whole, because of the time they got escorted to the ring by the Hells Angels).  One of the fondest memories of my youth is watching him mark out for that damn pumphandle slam.

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