Playa Shunna Ver 3.0 Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Even advanced alien technology would be confused by the rules of a TNA main even specialty match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerjeRUN Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Advanced alien technology trying to figure out that fucked up Bound for Glory series a couple of years back... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BEN! Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 Trytan came from the planet of the wee heads. Monty Brown sent him back there. So long as The Alpha Male roams the Serengeti, Earth is safe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nate Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 The Church of the Alpha Male I believe that Monty Brown watches over me. My soul is his Serengeti. When impure thoughts and sinful urges beckon, He is there with me, Ready to POOOOOUUUUUNCE me back on the path of righteousness, POOOOOUUUUUNCE me from pain, POOOOOUUUUUNCE me from suffering, Always ready to rebuke wickedness with a virtuous POOOOOUUUUUNCE, Period. Amen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nate Posted August 11, 2014 Share Posted August 11, 2014 One night I dreamed I was walking along the Impact Zone with the Alpha Male. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the six sided ring. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from a Reverse Battle Royal, a King of the Mountain match, or another Jeff Jarrett title reign, I could see only one set of footprints. So I said to Monty Brown, "You promised me, Alpha Male, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of being a TNA fan, there have only been one set of footprints in the six sided ring. Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?" The Alpha Male replied, "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I gave your whiny ass the POOOOOUUUUUNCE! Period!" So spaketh the Alpha Male. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spontaneous Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 You need a new hobby in the worst way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Nature Boy Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 You need a new hobby in the worst way I've read that story before. Just replace "Monty Brown" with "Jesus" and all of the TNA references to various life struggle references. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cubbymark Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 If and when TNA does finally sleep with the fishes, the following screen should be the last thing ever shown: Just replace Poochie with your pick of TNA, Dixie Carter, Vince Russo, or a combination thereof. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LethalStriker Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 How many TV tapings do they have left before the Spike deal ends? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TerjeRUN Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I had a knightmare last night that 103 year old Dixie Carter started doing live donkey shows to fund TNA, but she only raised $23 so snuffed herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig H Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Knightmare? The dude from the Spawn comics? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 How many TV tapings do they have left before the Spike deal ends? 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I had a knightmare last night that 103 year old Dixie Carter started doing live donkey shows to fund TNA, but she only raised $23 so snuffed herself. This is what Kickstarter is for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Nature Boy Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Can we start a Kickstarter to buy TNA? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt D Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Only if we burn it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Nature Boy Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 I just want to buy it and then sell it to Vince for profit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Ape Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 If I were Vince I'd charge you to give it to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Nature Boy Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 In that case, I'd just keep it and book myself like Triple H circa 2003. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Impact is moving to Wednesday starting next week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DukeCaesar Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Just replace Poochie with your pick of TNA, Dixie Carter, Vince Russo, or a combination thereof. There's a joke to be made here about Planet Jarrett, but I'm not feeling witty enough right now to come up with one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Nature Boy Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Just replace Poochie with your pick of TNA, Dixie Carter, Vince Russo, or a combination thereof. There's a joke to be made here about Planet Jarrett, but I'm not feeling witty enough right now to come up with one. They floated into Planet Jarrett's orbit and were added to the Database. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Impact is moving to Wednesday starting next week. When does Smackdown move to Thursday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 September, I assume. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jerry Hattrick Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Final episode Main Event: Bugs Bunny vs Elmer Fudd Half way through the match, Bugs climbs under the ring. He comes out dressed in drag. Elmer gets distracted. Bugs kisses him. Elmer does his "Wowwy wow wow wow" thing. Bugs pulls a guitar out from his dress and el kabongs him. Pin 1-2-3. Bugs points and says " What a stinker!" We think he's talking about Fudd when the camera pans over to show that he is pointing to the Impact logo. The show ends with this: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorman Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 You need a new hobby in the worst way I've read that story before. Just replace "Monty Brown" with "Jesus" and all of the TNA references to various life struggle references. I think that was the joke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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