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Cristobal

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On 12/20/2017 at 3:00 AM, Tabe said:

 

So lemme get this straight - I give up 50-60 hours of my precious time to tutor you, you *PASS* the class on your now-5th try, and you don't even tell me?  Fuck you.  Fuck both of you.

Oh man. I feel that one. I had to TA and grade exams for Intro Biochemistry tests occasionally way way back in the day (the days of the Green Board), and THE SAME FUCKING GIRL took the class 3 semesters in a row, and just bombed the SHIT out of it all 3 times. I still remember her name. People like that need to learn to Take. The Goddamned. Hint...your SIL included, by the sound of it. We were not all meant to be doctors and lawyers, some classes are weed-out classes, and being smarter than your friends and family and parents and neighbors doesn't make you "Capital S"-smart. "You can do anything if you just believe in yourself enough" is some doo-doo concocted by Walt Disney to sell movie tickets.

Or maybe it's just people from San Diego.

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1 hour ago, Robert C said:

Got hit in the face with a large toaster oven today.  Hurt like hell, but no apparent major damage.  That would've been a fun one to explain to a doctor if I'd had to go see one.

Now you have to explain it to us.

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On ‎1‎/‎5‎/‎2018 at 1:55 PM, CSC said:

My co-worker, who has been sick and having back issues for months now is trying this new holistic treatment of putting onions in her socks to leech out the toxins, or something like that.  It's been two weeks now to the point where I can hardly sit at my desk because the room has become overwhelmed with the stench of never ending onions. 

A quote from the book, Best Food Facts by Dr. Ruth MacDonald, chair and professor of the Department of Food Science & Human Nutrition at Iowa State University:

Quote

"No, onions do not absorb bacteria. The idea that a vegetable would attract and suck into itself bacteria from the air is not even logical. The onion may turn black because it would eventually rot from both cell breakdown events and bacterial contamination if you left it out, not because it absorbs germs. ...

Eating these vegetables provides antioxidants that can have health benefits, but they are unlikely to prevent or cure disease.

TL;DR: Eat onions, do not wear them.

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11 hours ago, Matt D said:

Now you have to explain it to us.

Opened up the staircase of our attic, and the damn thing attacked me.  Saw a shape coming out of the darkness above and had just enough time to turn my head, so it hit me in the side of the face instead of the nose.  Moral of the story - don't trust kids to stack things correctly.  Especially heavy things.

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10 minutes ago, Robert C said:

Opened up the staircase of our attic, and the damn thing attacked me.  Saw a shape coming out of the darkness above and had just enough time to turn my head, so it hit me in the side of the face instead of the nose.  Moral of the story - don't trust kids to stack things correctly.  Especially heavy things.

I seem to recall that both Stephen King and Theodore Sturgeon chronicled similar events, things did not end well from the human perspective.

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3 hours ago, OSJ said:

I seem to recall that both Stephen King and Theodore Sturgeon chronicled similar events, things did not end well from the human perspective.

You're gonna have to fill me in there.  Having a 3 year old means my reading typically doesn't extend past Duck and Goose Find a Pumpkin or Dinosaur vs. The Potty.  He tries to limit me to no more than six words per page.  He makes my wife read the more advanced stuff like Charlie the Ranch Dog.

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  • 4 weeks later...

A Compulsive Gambler, an Alcoholic and and a Junkie walk into a Petrol Station. It's not the start of a joke, I'm just describing how my week went.

A guy I know was on the front of the local paper this week. It's an odd relationship we don't have. You know those women you meet, where they're in their 30s or 40s, and half the time you meet them, they're sort of distant and professional and not too friendly, and they are wearing their wedding ring. And the other half of the time, they're very friendly and smiley and really want to have a long conversation and they're not wearing their wedding ring. He's like a male version of that, he never seems to make it all the way out of the closet before he goes back into it. Not that I'd be interested, but anyway, I digress.

He was in the paper because his dog was getting old and getting sick and had lost control of it's bowels. So he took it to the vet and it got better? No, because that wouldn't be news. What he actually did was locked it outside for three days hoping it would freeze to death, and and then when it survived that, he clubbed it in the head with a lump of wood. And then his neighbour phoned the police and the dog was taken to to vets, but it had too much brain damage and had to be euthanised. And he got arrested and sentenced to 100+ hours of community service and can't have pets again in his life. He constantly complains about having to go to the police because people are posting lies about him on the internet, but I never bothered to look what they were because I couldn't be arsed.

Oh, the other thing, I've known the guy for 20-odd years and the whole time I'd assumed he was 5 or 10 years older than me. But then because he was in the paper for doing a crime, they gave his age, and he's actually two years younger than me. The first time we met,  I thought he was was 29 when he was 21.

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While I am universally in favor of people bringing donuts for their coworkers, why would you only bring powdered sugar-covered jelly donuts, the one donut that is completely impossible to eat in public without making an absolute mess?

Still ate one, though.

 

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9 hours ago, Zimbra said:

While I am universally in favor of people bringing donuts for their coworkers, why would you only bring powdered sugar-covered jelly donuts, the one donut that is completely impossible to eat in public without making an absolute mess?

Still ate one, though.

 

Because it's Fat Tuesday and that's what you eat on Fat Tuesday. 

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So, my downstairs neighbor died in her condo last year.  No idea how, I came home and the medical examiner was here.  It sat empty for a while and eventually sold and new neighbors moved in.

Yesterday I was googling my address to find out how old our building is and the first result was the Redfin listing from when the downstairs unit was on the market.  What was the first line of the listing?

Owners' change of circumstance is your benefit!

What the hell, realtors?

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On 2/13/2018 at 1:56 PM, Zimbra said:

While I am universally in favor of people bringing donuts for their coworkers, why would you only bring powdered sugar-covered jelly donuts, the one donut that is completely impossible to eat in public because they're disgusting?

 

FIFY.

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