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8 hours ago, Ryan said:

Find a lost tribe of hippies up in the mountain running a commune and stay with them until you can't stand it anymore. About 3 or 4 hours.

That long?

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Why are women such cold heartless human beings? Like honestly. Had a girl I’ve dated on and off for like 4 yrs, treated her awesome, did everything a good guy supposed to do. Pretty much ghost me months ago (not the first time) and now her FB profile is with some weird dude who isn’t in my league looks wise (not my opinion.. severely women I’ve asked.)

Normally I wouldn’t care but I can’t shake this one. Sucks.

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Finished my Christmas shopping for my Dad, Laura and something for my Mum today. Bought the second of two for my best friend on Friday.

I try to get things done earlier than later if I can. I'll complete something ahead of schedule or eventually get round to doing it.

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On 11/19/2017 at 1:22 PM, Matt788 said:

I started eating right and exercising a few weeks ago. I lost 15 pounds so far. No more red meat. No more sugary junk. I'm somehow happier eating romaine lettuce than I was eating donuts.:)

Good for you. I gave up soda about 6 weeks ago and do not miss it one bit.  Don't think I can give up red meat though. I come froma long line of carnivores. Keep it up!

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So I very rarely remember my dreams, and when I do it tends to fade very quickly. But I have this repeating dream that I am in this Coen Brothers movie. Like I am both in the movie that is shot through my eyes and I'm also watching it. The thing is it's not an actual Coen Brothers movie that I remember watching, but this film I've made up in my own mind that simply happens to be their work. And the thing is until I just had the dream again I'd actually forgotten I have this repeating dream. Like, I have it less than once a year but I'm sure this is at least the third time I've had it. And (like most dreams) it's the most surrealist Coen Brothers movie ever made, like if they made Ingmar Bergman's Persona but even weirder than that. I don't know anything about dream imagery but I feel like just barfing out what I remember (and fuck, it's already slipping away so fast) just for entertainment's sake.

As far as I remember it starts out at some sort of fair or carnival dealie, and it's at night. Not really a lot that is important happens, but me and this other dude (who I am aware is there but never actually see, also I am pretty sure the other guy is also me) are there and we meet these two prototypical kind of classic all American girls. It's night while this is going on. We're sort of following the girls but not in a creepy 21st century way, I mean like in the 1950's romantic way. Things change.

Then we all get onto this train, but it's like a really weird ass train. It's visually huge, almost like a house-train. As far as I know that's a nonexistant concept but it exists in this dream-movie. I don't remember much of the details about it. I remember it's daytime now though. We're going off somewhere completely different. We got on the train because we thought we were following the girls but it turns out they ditched us. Anyway it rolls through this sort of western rockies wilderness bit and all I remember is shots of the pretty scenery mostly. It's bright and daytime while this is going on.

There's some weird interlude here where the main character in the film is watching the film and has a brief conversation with his mother, just commenting on the fact he's watching this movie. She's vaguely aware of it but doesn't seem to have actually seen it, then she leaves. Freud would have a field day with this shit.

Then we arrive at work, which is at this secret base thing that it isn't clear who we are actually working for like some shit out of the X-Files. It's night again, there is like nobody there at all. We are there to be some sort of test pilot or something. The whole place is deserted yet there's never a sense of being alone. There's like all these big airfield buildings and silos and shit like one of those hodgepodge retro bases out of the Fallout games or something. Lots of concrete and floodlights. We come in through this main gate but it doesn't lead directly there. We end up going into the base by sneaking in through this appartment where some low income family lives with a bunch of cats. Fuck if I know why, but for some reason we know it leads into the proper inside of the place.

While that is going on there's this concurrent story about cars, like actual good old cars you'd see in the good old days and driving around the city. I think this is like me and the other me split into two different stories or some weird shit like that. Anyway he gets to do some drivin' around, and I have this really vague memory that he met this guys that want to pay him to kill a guy. I think he takes the money but isn't actually going to do it. It's not actually the important part. I vaguely remember driving. Driving on freeways.

There is more, I know there's more but I've fucking forgotten everything else over the last half hour or so from the time I woke up and felt compelled to write some of this shit down.

I have this internal awareness that David Huddleston, the guy who played the titular Big Lebowski, is going to make this one scene cameo at the end where he has this big scene that tries to tie everythinng together. But we never actually see him or hear what he has to say.

Anyway this is probably the weirdest ramble the board has had in years but I wanted to write this down and since dreams really don't make sense I thought it might make for an entertaining read. Whatever. It's gone now. I don't remember.

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Did you guys know anxiety attacks can hurt your body? I did not until September. 

I received horrible news. I woke up with a migraine that lasted two weeks complete with bouts of vomiting. This combined with being unable to get outta bed without nearly collapsing. I would have multiple near fainting spells in the grocery store. One day my fingers on my left hand start locking up. I had to pull them apart. One night I find myself paralyzed after returning from ER (I thought I was having a stroke) and I am terrified. I scream for an hour until my breaks. Finally I decide to just go to sleep and pray its okay in the morning. Next day I can move and go back to ER and they are still not a help. 

Anyway mostly I am doing better now minus my voice. It is still broken, I can't change my inflection. I can go loud and super loud. Anyone know a way to heal a broken voice?

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Guest Stefanie Without Stefanie

Yeah, anxiety attacks are pretty much the worst thing your body can do to itself. Have you been given any medication to help? SSRIs basically saved my mental state.

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Anxiety in general fucking sucks. It can cause so many weird things to actually happen that have no physical root cause to the body. In your situation, that's really bad, your CNS must've really been jolted by the whole thing. I hope you find something to help.

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Has anyone ever been on the unknown brink of being booted out of the house and leaving to rent an apartment? I don’t mean by your parents (I’m 31 and they’re dead), but like, getting out before you suddenly get a knock and/or lock on the door? 

I’ve been scouting small places and found one I wouldn’t mind as a placeholder. It’s just me and I only need a 1/1 bed/bath. I’m planning on boxing up the importants, and just jettisoning this place before I end up homeless, as I literally have nowhere to go. 

I know I sound like an irresponsible asshole (and I am, judging by my effectiveness in fixing my future), but I’ve got a lot of things that happened that’ve shaped this scenario. Am I facing repercussions on this or can I outright escape and make the state deal with it? Because, as much as I hate myself, I can’t see myself surviving a winter on the streets. 

So there’s my depressingly stupid contribution to this thread. 

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12 minutes ago, PetrolCB said:

Has anyone ever been on the unknown brink of being booted out of the house and leaving to rent an apartment? I don’t mean by your parents (I’m 31 and they’re dead), but like, getting out before you suddenly get a knock and/or lock on the door? 

I’ve been scouting small places and found one I wouldn’t mind as a placeholder. It’s just me and I only need a 1/1 bed/bath. I’m planning on boxing up the importants, and just jettisoning this place before I end up homeless, as I literally have nowhere to go. 

I know I sound like an irresponsible asshole (and I am, judging by my effectiveness in fixing my future), but I’ve got a lot of things that happened that’ve shaped this scenario. Am I facing repercussions on this or can I outright escape and make the state deal with it? Because, as much as I hate myself, I can’t see myself surviving a winter on the streets. 

So there’s my depressingly stupid contribution to this thread. 

I'm sorry you lost your parents at the age of 31 and your current situation. I'm not able to advise you here but I can say that I hope matters go okay for you.

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On 12/23/2016 at 10:30 PM, Zimbra said:

I sat my fiancee down and had a conversation with her about her mother, the gist of which is that I'm no longer willing to spend time with her mom.  The woman is a mean, petty narcissist who treats everyone (including her daughters) like shit.  I'm tired of having to hold my tongue around her, and I really don't need that nonsense in my life.  We already limit our contact with her so it's not exactly a huge change, but I had to get it out and I'm glad I did.

My fiancee took it well, all things considered.  She definitely understands where I'm coming from, but she's worried about having to make excuses for why I'm not around.  I offered to explain to her mom exactly why, but my fiancee declined, which is probably for the best.

I had to do the same thing with a cousin and an 2 uncles in the past 3 years.

The cousin has beaten his previous two girlfriends,which is why one of them disappeared with his son. And the cousin hasn't tried to find his son in the past 5 years. After at a family gathering 2 years ago and he claimed to be a better father than me I realized I didn't need to be around him. To keep peace in the family I didn't do what I wanted to do,which was ask him to step outside and then beat the living fuck out of him. I instead stood up,calmly let everyone know I was tired of the shit and walked out.

The two uncles,one of which passed a few years ago. The one that died lived across the country so we saw him maybe 2 times a year. But everytime he was down he would spend all his time looking down on the rest of the family. Got told once my grandfather was dead I could let this uncle know how I felt. Then the uncle came down with stage 4 lung cancer. So sent him a long email explaining to him how I rather not see or hear from him again. And how even though they would never say anything most of the family was tired of his "I am better than all of you" attitude. We agreed that we didn't like each other and there was no need for me to come to his funeral.

 

The other uncle is a retired preacher,who is also one of the biggest racist I have met. And I have lived in backwoods MS most of my life. But he makes sure to let everyone know how good a Christian he is. Once again to keep peace in the family I haven't said anything to him. I just avoid him when we happen to be in the same place.

 

Like I was telling my oldest son months back "there is family,IE the people you are related to. Then there is "Family" the people that you might be related to might not but you love and care for."

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5 hours ago, PetrolCB said:

Has anyone ever been on the unknown brink of being booted out of the house and leaving to rent an apartment? I don’t mean by your parents (I’m 31 and they’re dead), but like, getting out before you suddenly get a knock and/or lock on the door? 

I’ve been scouting small places and found one I wouldn’t mind as a placeholder. It’s just me and I only need a 1/1 bed/bath. I’m planning on boxing up the importants, and just jettisoning this place before I end up homeless, as I literally have nowhere to go. 

I know I sound like an irresponsible asshole (and I am, judging by my effectiveness in fixing my future), but I’ve got a lot of things that happened that’ve shaped this scenario. Am I facing repercussions on this or can I outright escape and make the state deal with it? Because, as much as I hate myself, I can’t see myself surviving a winter on the streets. 

So there’s my depressingly stupid contribution to this thread. 

Is bankruptcy an option? I hate to admit this, but we lost a quarter-of-million home back in the day because we borrowed too heavily on the place to fund my various book-publishing ventures. Then the market went south and we were fucked. We just mailed the mortgage back with a note saying we're outta here, and that was pretty much that. They mailed us one dunning letter, like someone is going to really pay them $105,000K for a place they don't live in any longer and then they sold to someone else. A year later, apparently the pipes to the main city line erupted costing the new owner $25,000 out of pocket. Fuck owning a home, renting is fine if you find the right place and even more importantly the right landlord.

Anyway, if you really need protection from the court bankruptcy is your best option. If not, send a nice note and walk away. The State is always happy to scarf up abandoned properties.

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2 hours ago, bobholly138 said:

I had to do the same thing with a cousin and an 2 uncles in the past 3 years.

The cousin has beaten his previous two girlfriends,which is why one of them disappeared with his son. And the cousin hasn't tried to find his son in the past 5 years. After at a family gathering 2 years ago and he claimed to be a better father than me I realized I didn't need to be around him. To keep peace in the family I didn't do what I wanted to do,which was ask him to step outside and then beat the living fuck out of him. I instead stood up,calmly let everyone know I was tired of the shit and walked out.

The two uncles,one of which passed a few years ago. The one that died lived across the country so we saw him maybe 2 times a year. But everytime he was down he would spend all his time looking down on the rest of the family. Got told once my grandfather was dead I could let this uncle know how I felt. Then the uncle came down with stage 4 lung cancer. So sent him a long email explaining to him how I rather not see or hear from him again. And how even though they would never say anything most of the family was tired of his "I am better than all of you" attitude. We agreed that we didn't like each other and there was no need for me to come to his funeral.

 

The other uncle is a retired preacher,who is also one of the biggest racist I have met. And I have lived in backwoods MS most of my life. But he makes sure to let everyone know how good a Christian he is. Once again to keep peace in the family I haven't said anything to him. I just avoid him when we happen to be in the same place.

 

Like I was telling my oldest son months back "there is family,IE the people you are related to. Then there is "Family" the people that you might be related to might not but you love and care for."

Man, learning how to set and enforce boundaries with people, especially family, is probably the best skill I've picked up as an adult.

As my dad used to say "You have to love your family, but you don't have to like them" and my codicil "and you sure don't have to take shit off of them."

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I feel a little shitty about it, but I'm taking advantage of my uncle being essentially immobile at avoid the usual awful conversations at family gatherings.  Chasing a 2 year old around provides an easy excuse for that.

I'm lucky that my wife is estranged from the shittier parts of her family.  About the nicest thing I could call em is a bunch of thieving bastards.  As an example, I had to step in as a pallbearer at her grandfather's funeral because one of her cousins was on the run from the police over a murder the day before.  Lovely bunch of people.

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8 hours ago, PetrolCB said:

Has anyone ever been on the unknown brink of being booted out of the house and leaving to rent an apartment?

Get into an apartment situation you feel comfortable with before you have something big (eviction, foreclosure, bankruptcy) on your record, because once you do, it's going to be much much harder to rent an apartment.

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8 hours ago, Zimbra said:

Man, learning how to set and enforce boundaries with people, especially family, is probably the best skill I've picked up as an adult.

As my dad used to say "You have to love your family, but you don't have to like them" and my codicil "and you sure don't have to take shit off of them."

Back before I got put on a pile of medication I have trouble controlling my temper. The uncle I mentioned that is dead....It was Xmas day 2002. I had just gotten married and it was the first Xmas my new wife had spent with my side of the family. We took a break from opening presents and I stepped outside for a cig.

Uncle Asshole walks over,slaps the cig out of my mouth then told me "I don't know why you brought that Spic with you!" The last thing I remember is telling him to get away from me. I black out,and when I came to my dad another uncle and a cousin's husband are pulling me off uncle asshole. Got told by the cousin's husband "All I know is he slapped the cig out of your mouth and you took him down to the ground and started punching him in the face while you used your legs to pin him to the ground."

This same uncle about 4 years before he died called my house. Normally I wouldn't answer. But this time I did. Now back in fall of 2007  I had a mental breakdown and spent 3 months in a mental hospital. And ended up on disability. Well during the phone call Uncle Asshole accused me of "Faking being sick so you don't have to work." I told him "Look you stupid fuck don't you think if I was faking it the doctors would have figured it out in the 3 months I spent at the hospital!" then I hung up on him. He spent the next 2 hours calling my place over and over. 

 

With family I can normally ignore their flaws. But got a few that just take it to another level.

 

That is why I love spending holidays with my girlfriend's family. Everyone is nice and pleasant. There is no arguing or yelling. And it is enjoyable. The last Xmas I spent with my mother's side of the family I ended up taking a pile of valium to keep calm. And they weren't working. That is why I walked out.

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