Nice Guy Eddie Posted December 18, 2022 Share Posted December 18, 2022 (edited) I went to see Streetlight Manifesto Saturday night. Streetlight was awesome, but I wish I had a better time. I wanted to skank so badly, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I wasn't really talkative either. I don't have a good time without cocaine and/or alcohol because I hate myself. I wish I could be the person I am when I'm using. I'm ready to say fuck sobriety. I'd rather being using and happy than clean and miserable. I just had to throw this out there because I don't have a lot of outlets. I'm just a severely damaged person. Edited December 18, 2022 by Nice Guy Eddie 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shartnado Posted December 18, 2022 Share Posted December 18, 2022 13 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said: I went to see Streetlight Manifesto Saturday night. Streetlight was awesome, but I wish I had a better time. I wanted to skank so badly, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I wasn't really talkative. I don't have a good time without cocaine and/or alcohol because I hate myself. I wish I could be the person I am when I'm using. I'm ready to say fuck sobriety. I'd rather being using and happy than clean and miserable. I just had to throw this out there because I don't have a lot of outlets. I'm just a severely damaged person. You know yourself and are at least strong enough to admit how things are. Being willing to tell it to a community makes you even stronger, or more courageous than most. I totally hear what you are saying, but I'd still strongly advice you not to say fuck sobriety, as tempting as may be. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Natural Posted December 18, 2022 Share Posted December 18, 2022 (edited) 8 hours ago, Nice Guy Eddie said: I went to see Streetlight Manifesto Saturday night. Streetlight was awesome, but I wish I had a better time. I wanted to skank so badly, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I wasn't really talkative either. I don't have a good time without cocaine and/or alcohol because I hate myself. I wish I could be the person I am when I'm using. I'm ready to say fuck sobriety. I'd rather being using and happy than clean and miserable. I just had to throw this out there because I don't have a lot of outlets. I'm just a severely damaged person. 8 hours ago, Shartnado said: You know yourself and are at least strong enough to admit how things are. Being willing to tell it to a community makes you even stronger, or more courageous than most. I totally hear what you are saying, but I'd still strongly advice you not to say fuck sobriety, as tempting as may be. @Shartnado nailed it. Been meaning to drop you a PM @Nice Guy Eddie to see how things are. If ever you need to talk, vent or someone to hear you out without condoning or condemning, here I be. The DVDVR MB PM system is your best bet as Facebook Messenger is inconsistent on my tablet. Goes for y'all here. Best wishes, bud xxx. Edited December 18, 2022 by The Natural Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Campbell Posted December 20, 2022 Share Posted December 20, 2022 (edited) It's my last day at my full time county job for a full two weeks until 1/3. I do have a couple of shifts at my PT job, this Saturday and again the following weekend. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself with all this free time, aside from the family gatherings on Christmas Eve and Day. But I imagine that wrestling and video games is probably going to be a decent size chunk of it. Update: The two guys I work with decided to take today off as well, so I'm stuck here for ten hours with *MAYBE* an hour and a half worth of work to do. I do have to report for a training meeting this afternoon, but that's still about six hours and change to basically fuck off. IE: I'm posting on the board and listening to a podcast right now instead of doing work. Edited December 20, 2022 by Mike Campbell 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Natural Posted December 31, 2022 Share Posted December 31, 2022 On 8/29/2022 at 6:51 PM, The Natural said: Last week was bad with the depression and I've been crying non stop today. Today I did something I've never done, tell my Dad and Sister about the suicidal thoughts. I kept it from them for years as I didn't want to upset/worry. One of the hardest conversations I've ever had. Takes a lot to open up to someone and said someone hearing something deep like that. I've spoken to others before and didn't get the reaction I was hoping for which makes you reluctant to reveal something so personal. After letting my Dad/Sister know, it was a mixture wondering whether I should have because you can't turn back time and relief. If the roles were reversed I'd be upset someone I love was in such a state but by knowing, I'd be there for them. Mental health issues, depression and grief, your thoughts and feelings in mind. As ever, please keep this to the board only and not on Facebook. Only you here, my Dad, Sister, Adam and Alyson know about the self-harm/suicidal thoughts and I want to keep it that way. Thank you, Paul xxx. Thought it was time for an update. Long read. After telling my Dad and Sister about having suicidal thoughts for the first time, that was a huge moment as I'd kept it from them for ages because I didn't want to cause worry/upset. Takes a lot to open up to someone as I've had good and bad experiences doing so. I knew Dad/Laura would be there for me as my much missed Mum would. My Dad/Laura thought I could do with speaking to a doctor that week preferably my assigned one, Dr. Jundi. Thing is she's hard to get appointments for and I wasn't able. I spoke to Dr. Markey who thought I needed switching antidepressants so Dr. Jundi did in September. Full disclosure, I'm not the best with medications going from thinking they're not working to wanting something different. Depression is an illness of highs and lows. I was taken off Trazodone to Fluoextine. I tried preserving with it even though I was getting muscle twitches and singles down my limbs. I had a really bad three days and by chance I spoke to Dr. Gupta my long term pain specialist who thought it was Serotonin Syndrome. Serotonin Syndrome sucks. Got an emergency doctors appointment to be put back on Trazodone in December. I will say I miss the buzz of the first few weeks back on it and March of this year. That buzz hasn't come back but I seem to be better on Trazodone than others. One was great, Venlafaxine but had to stop taking it as it messed with my heart. Dr Jundi wanted me to try My Wellbeing College again but I was reluctant to having the bad experience with Ben. I started my therapy with Rebecca on the 1st of November, 6 sessions. I liked Rebecca, thought I was making progress...and then came my fourth session with her on the 20th of December going in a direction I didn't expect. Rebecca felt she wasn't helping me and I can't move to the next step, step 3 with someone else despite me doing all but one of the things she's given me to do outside our sessions. The one thing I forgot cost me. I said to Rebecca that it feels like my openness, honesty and progress was getting put to one side over reliance of a questionnaire score, hate those damn things. Didn't take Batman, the World's Greatest Detective to figure out how upset I was. What's disappointed me with Rebecca more than Ben and other healthcare professionals is that I clicked with her as noted felt my progress was looked over by that stupid scoring system. It's the "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" from your family kind of feeling. As noted earlier, when you have a bad experience confusing such secrets, it puts you off and you can't row back on it. It's the most I've been upset talking to a healthcare professional on the phone in five years, even when upset I was still polite. Rebecca must have been concerned how our conversation ended as First Response rang me twice afterwards while I was asleep with one saying it had come from My Wellbeing. Always put off ringing First Response for years but did the next day to tell them I'm okay. Least I could do. Call from Jacqui O'Riordan went good, she sides with me over Rebecca. I'd have really gone to town with the self-harm because I was so distressed but didn't mainly because I wanted to and I very rarely say this, stick it to someone. Rebecca rang me back the next day saying I can go to the next step but there's a wait. I never forget when someone has hurt me, I find it hard to forget. I've written a letter to Dr. Jundi this week letting her know before my appointment this Thursday. I need to get back to the healthy eating and exercise again. Done little of both due to depression and physically I'm in consistent pain. Weight gain through the medication and poor food choices as well. I was stunned when my neurologist told me having Cerebral Palsy, my body has to work four times harder doing the same thing as someone who doesn't. Right taken aback when I heard that. I'm so stiff. The spasms. Mental health issues, depression and grief, your thoughts and feelings in mind. Please keep this to the board only and not on Facebook. Only the board, my Dad, Sister, Adam and Alyson know the true extent about the self-harm/suicidal thoughts. I trust you too. Thank you, Paul xxx. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shartnado Posted December 31, 2022 Share Posted December 31, 2022 @The Natural This is hardcore. You keep fighting through this. We know if you keep just being you, we will all win! Dude, you are strong and awesome! Be that and be you and we will all win! 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabe Posted January 1, 2023 Share Posted January 1, 2023 In a repeat of last year, my brother-in-law came over today to visit his mom (who lives with us) while sick. And, like last year, it's COVID. I'm so mad. I didn't even see him while he was here but I've been near Mom, who did see him. Whole bunch of plans wrecked thanks to him, same as last year. Took way more talking than it should have to convince Mom that, no, she can't go to church tomorrow after being exposed to COVID. "But I'll wear a mask and had the booster!" - Argh. We told her that BIL is no longer welcome in the house. Period. Even if he didn't have COVID (he didn't know he had it but did know he was sick), he still visited his 81yr old mom while sick. Who does that? And he did the same thing a year ago. Last time, my wife was sick for 3 weeks and I had effects for three MONTHS. GRRRRRRR. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Natural Posted January 1, 2023 Share Posted January 1, 2023 (edited) On 12/31/2022 at 8:23 PM, Shartnado said: @The Natural This is hardcore. You keep fighting through this. We know if you keep just being you, we will all win! Dude, you are strong and awesome! Be that and be you and we will all win! Thank you. Appreciate that. Thanks also to @gatling, @JLSigman, @Matt D, @twiztor, @Zimbra, @Execproducer, @NikoBaltimore and @Log xxx. Edited January 11, 2023 by The Natural 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor Posted January 11, 2023 Share Posted January 11, 2023 debated about sharing this, but i'm going for it. i was ice fishing this past weekend in northern Minnesota (about 7ish hours from where i live). fishing wasn't great (decent amount of bites but almost all little guys). at least the beer was cold. anyway, my leg got run over by a pickup truck. we were stuck in the snow so i hopped out to give it a little push. between the truck moving and the ice under my feet, i went down. and the rear tire went directly over my left leg. to make matters worse, it actually came to a stop on my thigh. now, that sounds pretty bad. and it is. but it very easily could've been so much worse. nothing broken. still have full motion of my hip, knee, and ankle. but it hurts like hell, and i'm laid up for (at bare minimum) a week, and likely longer. spoilered the picture- it may or may not be embedded Spoiler https://imgur.com/a/3fTMffP 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zimbra Posted January 11, 2023 Share Posted January 11, 2023 Goddamn, dude. Sorry you got ran over by a truck but sounds like the best possible outcome given the circumstances.' Hope your recovery is quick and relatively painless and you have plenty to do while you're laid up. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curt McGirt Posted January 11, 2023 Share Posted January 11, 2023 Yeah dude, you got Jeremy Renner-ed without being REALLY Jeremy Renner-ed. Fuck. It sucks, but it could have been so much worse. If you need something to watch join us in doing Secret Santo! Have to admit, you saying "at least the beer was cold" when you're ice fishing in Northern Minnesota is pretty funny 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Natural Posted January 11, 2023 Share Posted January 11, 2023 3 hours ago, twiztor said: debated about sharing this, but i'm going for it. i was ice fishing this past weekend in northern Minnesota (about 7ish hours from where i live). fishing wasn't great (decent amount of bites but almost all little guys). at least the beer was cold. anyway, my leg got run over by a pickup truck. we were stuck in the snow so i hopped out to give it a little push. between the truck moving and the ice under my feet, i went down. and the rear tire went directly over my left leg. to make matters worse, it actually came to a stop on my thigh. now, that sounds pretty bad. and it is. but it very easily could've been so much worse. nothing broken. still have full motion of my hip, knee, and ankle. but it hurts like hell, and i'm laid up for (at bare minimum) a week, and likely longer. spoilered the picture- it may or may not be embedded Hide contents https://imgur.com/a/3fTMffP Fucking hell, mate. Hope you feel better soon. Love to you and your wife xxx. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor Posted January 11, 2023 Share Posted January 11, 2023 3 hours ago, Zimbra said: Goddamn, dude. Sorry you got ran over by a truck but sounds like the best possible outcome given the circumstances.' Hope your recovery is quick and relatively painless and you have plenty to do while you're laid up. 3 hours ago, Curt McGirt said: Yeah dude, you got Jeremy Renner-ed without being REALLY Jeremy Renner-ed. Fuck. It sucks, but it could have been so much worse. If you need something to watch join us in doing Secret Santo! Have to admit, you saying "at least the beer was cold" when you're ice fishing in Northern Minnesota is pretty funny thanks to you both. oh yeah, i will freely admit that this outcome is easily the best possible of everything that could've happened. i am trying to make the best of the free time. luckily, i have tons of wrestling and cartoons to watch! 38 minutes ago, The Natural said: Fucking hell, mate. Hope you feel better soon. Love to you and your wife xxx. cheers, Paul! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Natural Posted January 11, 2023 Share Posted January 11, 2023 Just now, twiztor said: thanks to you both. oh yeah, i will freely admit that this outcome is easily the best possible of everything that could've happened. i am trying to make the best of the free time. luckily, i have tons of wrestling and cartoons to watch! cheers, Paul! You're welcome, Jimi. Hope you feel better soon. Enjoy those along with Mega Man and Mountain Dew. Love to you both xxx. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabe Posted January 11, 2023 Share Posted January 11, 2023 16 hours ago, twiztor said: debated about sharing this, but i'm going for it. i was ice fishing this past weekend in northern Minnesota (about 7ish hours from where i live). fishing wasn't great (decent amount of bites but almost all little guys). at least the beer was cold. anyway, my leg got run over by a pickup truck. we were stuck in the snow so i hopped out to give it a little push. between the truck moving and the ice under my feet, i went down. and the rear tire went directly over my left leg. to make matters worse, it actually came to a stop on my thigh. now, that sounds pretty bad. and it is. but it very easily could've been so much worse. nothing broken. still have full motion of my hip, knee, and ankle. but it hurts like hell, and i'm laid up for (at bare minimum) a week, and likely longer. spoilered the picture- it may or may not be embedded Hide contents https://imgur.com/a/3fTMffP Holy crap, that is one gnarly photo. I can only imagine how much it hurts. Pretty much a miracle it wasn't worse. Try and enjoy your time laid up and feel better soon! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Log Posted January 11, 2023 Share Posted January 11, 2023 Well, @twiztor, you at least got the best outcome for an injury like that: badass scar, (hopefully) no long-term damage and one hell of a story. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Contentious C Posted January 11, 2023 Share Posted January 11, 2023 Don't forget the best part about twiztor pulling a Jeremy Renner: Renner has to go back to being Jeremy Renner at the end of it all and twiztor doesn't! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Townsend Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 Had some excitement last night. Dude drove up into our community, plowed several parked cars and finally hit the side of a garage. When the car was no longer drivable, he wandered around screaming obscenities and trying to break into homes. Guy was obviously on something. He could barely stand up and walk and wasn’t coherent. Around the time the cops rolled in, he staggered onto my porch and tried to smash the sliding door open with a brick. Fortunately, he didn’t put much oomph into it and didn’t even crack the glass. Very fortunate for him. I walked into the room in time to see him swing the brick but too late to stop him. If he had broken the glass and stepped in, I might have ended up shooting him. Cops caught up to him before he could take a second swing. I’ve kept guns in house for close to 30 years and last night was the first time I’ve handled any of them for anything other than cleaning or the practice range. We almost got rid of them a few years ago, but decided against it. Criminals seem to have more rights than homeowners these days. Really hoping I never have to shoot anyone or even threaten to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabe Posted January 14, 2023 Share Posted January 14, 2023 That's some scary stuff. Thankful you didn't end up having to use force to stop the guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Townsend Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 4 hours ago, Tabe said: That's some scary stuff. Thankful you didn't end up having to use force to stop the guy. Yeah, very thankful nothing more happened. Everything happened so fast last night that I really didn’t have time to think about it. Have time to think about the incident today and I’m kinda shaken. I’m comfortable with having guns in the house for protection. Turns out I am less comfortable with the idea of having to use a gun for protection. Anyway, weapons are back under lock and key where they belong. Hopefully, it’s another 28 years before I have to do anything with them except go to the gun range for target practice. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted January 15, 2023 Share Posted January 15, 2023 On 1/11/2023 at 1:16 PM, Contentious C said: Don't forget the best part about twiztor pulling a Jeremy Renner: Renner has to go back to being Jeremy Renner at the end of it all and twiztor doesn't! Will there be a twiztor app? I'm asking for a guy (probably Jeremy Renner). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor Posted January 16, 2023 Share Posted January 16, 2023 4 hours ago, Ryan said: Will there be a twiztor app? I'm asking for a guy (probably Jeremy Renner). i will start working with developers ASAP. just need to figure out how to incorporate my loves of pizza, Nintendo NES, and Mtn Dew flavors. also if i need to 1up Renner i guess i better figure out a charity aspect #twiztorapp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Contentious C Posted January 16, 2023 Share Posted January 16, 2023 8 minutes ago, twiztor said: i need to 1up Renner Well now I'm picturing a guy on one leg squishing a steady stream of Renner Mushrooms emerging from a tube. I guess that's your NES right there. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casey Posted January 19, 2023 Share Posted January 19, 2023 I had an ablation on my heart this morning. They put me under, went up through my groin to my heart with catheters, gave me adrenaline to induce arrhythmia and then burned the spots where it appeared. Unexpectedly I had a second spot, when most people only have one, so they zapped that one too. The hole(s) they left hurt so fuckin’ much and it hurts to even walk really, but the hard and scary parts are over with. Now I just have to heal up. From what the doctor says, the ablation supposedly fixes this issue so no more 260 beats per minute attacks. Bedridden for two days, and oh thank god for streaming services and my SteamDeck. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted January 19, 2023 Share Posted January 19, 2023 Hope everything works out for you. Be well. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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