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I've Never Seen Star Wars


Fuzzy Dunlop

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For the record, I'm not proud of having seen any of the stuff I listed. Quite the opposite, since I kinda want to see everything at some point or another. With the one exception of godforsaken "reality" shows. ALL of them. Fuck this entire genre of deceitful, clumsy, cheap, pandering manipulative trash. (Or, to put it in short: "IT'S A WORK, PEOPLE! IT'S ALL FUCKIN' FAKE, YOU IDIOTS!") Shame on everyone who's ever worked on any of them. You could've kept more artistic credibility by working in goddamn porn than on any reality show ever.

 

Suspiria, Inferno, Tenebrae for Argento and Do the Right Thing, Malcolm X, Clockers for Lee are all worth the price of purchase.

I've seen those two.  And still utterly don't understand the hype.  Not that they were incompetently horrible or anything, but they felt very average-at-best to me overall.  Heck, I've seen movies from both guys which I actually liked much better than these alleged masterpieces (Deep Red and Inside Man, just to name some). And I've seen much WORSE too: if I ever ever EVAH~! have the misfortune to rewatch Argento's unfathomably terrible adaptation-in-name-only of Phantom of the Opera, I shall consider my life even more of a shallow waste than it already is.

I'm just keeping this down to series right now as the amount of movies I haven't seen is kind of massive. Most of this is just a case of not really having a strong enough interest. Some I admit seeing your comments and reviews probably scared me off (The Shield) as I really don't want to watch a season of crap before it gets good.

None of those really start off badly, imo (the only one I can't comment on being Curb, which I've never seen any of). ESPECIALLY The Shield, which had one of the greatest pilots I've ever seen in my life; the instant the end credits rolled, I knew I was gonna watch ALL of this show.

 

Firefly was good but all the "best television show evah!" talk is misguided. The movie was better.

I feel exactly the opposite. The movie is good and all, but it felt like a rather self-conscious attempt to Finish The Story (while inexplicably introducing a rather vanilla new supervillain, and excluding every single supporting character from the show who wasn't one of the Big Nine). It never had the time to relax and give us those little character moments that the show was so magnificent at, it was just "go! go! go!" non-stop thriller stuff.

It kinda reminded me of the better Star Trek movies, where they'd have giant battles and massively-improved special effects and kill off characters and they'd blow up the damn Enterprise like half the time. Compelling and fun for the longtime fans? Sure. Much better than having NO movie? Of course, goes without saying. But it just didn't really recapture what made the original show so special. It was sped-up and dumbed-down and ignored a whole lot of the previous character development. And it's still a damn fine movie because Joss is just tiresomely brilliant at making movies over the last decade. But mister, I've seen Firefly, and Serenity was no Firefly.

 

Jingus: If that comment about hating Pixar was directed to me, let me be clear. I have never seen one of their films, and I can't very well hate something that I'm completely ignorant of.

Fair enough, I coulda worded that better.

 

Mentioning that Larry the Cable Guy is in one of the films is hardly a selling point for me.

Not that he's in it (and if you INSIST on avoiding him, just don't watch the aforementioned mediocre Cars franchise), but that he's actually GOOD in it. And this is coming from a guy who's never liked Larry in, well, anything else ever.

Final bit of begging: sometime, just watch Pixar's movie Up. Just that one. (It's not even my favorite one, that'd be Wall-E by a mile, but I think Up might be more up your alley.) See how ya like it. Then we can talk a lot more informedly about the subject.

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I've never watched Agents of Shield. It's not got great word of mouth and I'm really iffy on the idea of a show where you're basically admitting "Hey, the real stars aren't here, and you're going to have to watch the movies to see what's going on."

 

I think if you do a TV show it should be "This is must-see, this is what you should be watching. This is the story." Agents of Shield just seems like a minor accompaniment project and not much more.

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I think thats my concern with Marvel Agents of Shield is that its just a bunch of faceless no name people or z level heros. With Arrow and now Flash and possibly Constantine and me not even really liking Avengers that much I haven't watched it. Now I'm sure I will at some point but I've not seen or heard anything that interests me when it comes to the show.

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Hey, speaking of Arrow: sell me on it. I've heard it's fun, but I'm not remotely a fan of Oliver Queen as a character. (How is he NOT a shittier hybrid version of Batman meets Robin Hood?) What's the show got that makes it so must-see? And, whoa nelly, did someone mention an upcoming CONSTANTINE show?!

And actually, yeah, I've barely watched any Agents of SHIELD either. I saw the first two or three episodes, and went "fuckin' MEH" and never got back around it. Compared to the awesome stuff they're doing in the movies, this felt decidedly second-rate. (Hopefully this new series with Daredevil and Luke Cage and whoever will be much more impressive.) As if Joss Whedon fell down, bumped his head, and suddenly woke up thinking he was re-shooting the first season of Angel or some damn thing. Except with less distinct, more boring, utterly unmemorable characters. Man, I have NEVER seen a Whedon show with a cast that left such a lack of an impression on me. What happened to the guy who could take even such a questionable bunch of people as he had in Dollhouse and make it into something shockingly impressive?

Another one I watched like two episodes of, and then never again: Smallville. Is there any way that the description of "a total wannabe of Buffy, except with aliens instead of demons, and practically handcuffed to Kryptonite weights with all of Jon Peters's beyond-insane ideas of what the character should by like. Plus: Kristen "One-Facial-Expression" Kreuk is basically the lead costar." I do believe that whole "do not want" meme does indeed pretty much sum up my feelings on this. I don't give a damn if James Marsters plays Braniac, not when it's on a show which looks like it's shittier than Superfriends.

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All the Star Treks can go to hell. ALL OF THEM.

 

And Harry Potter. 

 

 

The first ten minutes of Up is some of the best filmmaking ever. EVERYONE should see that movie.

 

Oddly enough, that's the ONLY part of the movie I've seen. Shit, that gives me an idea for the saddest song in the world thread...

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All the Star Treks can go to hell. ALL OF THEM.

 

And Harry Potter.

...why? A hint, please?

I've never seen The Godfather Part II because I keep falling asleep while attempting to watch The Godfather.

Oh shit, if you can't stay awake through the first one, then definitely don't bother with part 2. Longer, slower, more complicated yet somehow less shit happens.
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Popular TV shows from the last 15 years or so I have never seen a single episode of:

 

Breaking Bad (never gotten around to it)

Justified (Never gotten around to it)

Mad Men (Never gotten around to it)

30 Rock (Not a Tracy Morgan fan)

How I Met Your Mother (Just doesn't appeal to me)

Deadwood (Never gotten around to it)

The Wire (never gotten around to it)

24 (Just doesn't appeal to me)

The Shield (never gotten around to it)

Dexter (Just doesn't appeal to me)

House (Just doesn't appeal to me)

Glee (Just doesn't appeal to me)

Friday Night Lights (Just doesn't appeal to me)

Sons Of Anarchy (never gotten around to it)

Rescue Me (never gotten around to it)

True Blood (Just doesn't appeal to me)

The Closer (Just doesn't appeal to me)

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As far as Star Trek, Klingon is a barrier of entry for me to get interested in it. It's a level of nerd-dom that is even crazier than wrestling fans. Plus I'm not much about Sci-Fi.

 

The same thing goes for Harry Potter and wizardry. 

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So, you don't like it because of... the fans who take it too far? I don't get it. What's that got to do with the show's content, whether it's any good or not? There's approximately fifty billion Christians with whom I can't have a civil conversation about my personal beliefs, but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to totally mark out for the story of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane (which I totally do mark out for).

Also: you're not including the entire original TV show in your broad dismissal, since Klingons never had a separate language back then. They just spoke English, like all the other aliens... which, of course, makes no real sense at all. (Same thing in the animated series.) Why is it so weird to compose a new fake language for a fictional race of sentient beings? Linguists have been doing that shit in their spare time for centuries.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of legit reasons to dislike the Trek. But I just don't understand the ones you named. Along similar lines, it's not like Harry Potter invented the entire idea of "magick" in the first place, in fact J.K. Rowling blatantly stole like 99% of of her stuff from many other sources before repurposing it and mashing it all together George Lucas-style.

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I don't think ive ever posted ne ways

 

out of popular shows hopefully no one minds the copy n paste

 

Popular TV shows from the last 15 or 20 years or so I have never seen a single episode of:

 

Justified

Mad Men

How I Met Your Mother

Deadwood

The Wire 

24 

The Shield

Glee 

Friday Night Lights 

Sons Of Anarchy 

Rescue Me 

The Closer

Oz

Friends

 

South Park i havent watched since maybe 2001 or 02

any network or cable network produced reality show that wasnt the ultimate fighter i never watch

 

Films

Scarface never watched it from begining to end all the way through

The Godfather films same as scarface

Goodfellas

Heat

Reservoir Dogs

Juice

Boyz in the hood

South Central

Menace 2 Society

 

anything ground breaking or cult classic status, that was non english and subtitled i never watched when i try foreign films i find reading while watching a movie just makes me sleepy

 

about 90% of the last 10 years of Oscar nominated films ive probably never even thought about watching also i dont watch the oscars that often i usually just read who's or whats nominated and say to myself o look theres one thing i saw its getting nominated for best song lol

 

i dont even think i watched Training Day from begining to end and i love Denzel Washington

 

 

 

 

 

 

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AxB vs This List:

 

Breaking Bad (seen the first two seasons, the other one I own the boxsets but haven't watched yet)

Justified (Seen all of it)

Mad Men (Not interested)

30 Rock (Nah)

How I Met Your Mother (Nah)

Deadwood (Seen, and will watch again)

The Wire (Seen twice at least)

24 (Apparently it's Neo-Con propaganda. No thanks)

The Shield (Seen and own)

Dexter (Seen. Won't watch again, it gets terrible)

House (Nah)

Glee (Gave up after 2 seasons)

Friday Night Lights (Not been on a proper channel in UK)

Sons Of Anarchy (Seen)

Rescue Me (Is that the Dennis Leary one? I saw the first episode once)

True Blood (Gave up after 5 seasons - too late)

The Closer (Never even heard of this one)

 

Brian, why's your avatar Christina Hendricks if you don't watch Mad Men?

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I haven't seen a movie that has won a Best Picture Oscar since LOTR won it.  Monies nominate since it won that I have seen: Avatar, Inglorious Basterds, Inception, True Grit.

 

Despite being a huge fantasy/scifi fan, I have no seen The Matrix.

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I hope this thread spins off into an "I've Finally Seen Star Wars" thread where we remedy missing a bunch of good shit over the years.  I would start it, but I'm too busy replaying the Mass Effect to actually finish Deadwood(I've watched the first season) and Rome(I'm midway through the first season). 

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Oh, hey, Rome, there's another one I haven't watched. Nor any version of Spartacus. Nor any Showtime show at all except for Dexter, really. No particular reason, the subject matter just didn't super-appeal to me, and I've always got a full plate of other shit I wanna watch anyway.

Which version of Blade Runner is it that's regarded as the definitive one to watch? Final Cut?

General consensus is Final Cut, but the real answer is "anything BUT the original theatrical version". That one had some questionable-at-best edits, an insultingly tacked-on happier ending, and Harrison Ford giving the worst voiceover narration in cinema history. (I truly think he was trying to sabotage the terrible writing by giving an even more terrible performance and making sure it would all be unusable and not end up in the final film; sadly, the producers had no such shame.) Director's Cut and Final Cut are damn near identical in every important aspect anyway, with the Final one just having a lot more subtle polishing and stitching to fix a few little mistakes here and there.
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Hey, speaking of Arrow: sell me on it. I've heard it's fun, but I'm not remotely a fan of Oliver Queen as a character. (How is he NOT a shittier hybrid version of Batman meets Robin Hood?) What's the show got that makes it so must-see? And, whoa nelly, did someone mention an upcoming CONSTANTINE show?!

And actually, yeah, I've barely watched any Agents of SHIELD either. I saw the first two or three episodes, and went "fuckin' MEH" and never got back around it. Compared to the awesome stuff they're doing in the movies, this felt decidedly second-rate. (Hopefully this new series with Daredevil and Luke Cage and whoever will be much more impressive.) As if Joss Whedon fell down, bumped his head, and suddenly woke up thinking he was re-shooting the first season of Angel or some damn thing. Except with less distinct, more boring, utterly unmemorable characters. Man, I have NEVER seen a Whedon show with a cast that left such a lack of an impression on me. What happened to the guy who could take even such a questionable bunch of people as he had in Dollhouse and make it into something shockingly impressive?

 

I've seen the first season of Arrow... Arrow has some of the best fight choreography you are ever going to see on television from a comic book-style perspective (so the style of fights from Buffy but really good).  They also take the protagonist in some interesting directions regarding his vigilantism and how his actions effect those around him in ways you could never do with Batman.  The takes on the DC characters can be a bit hit or miss but the Slade character is really good and I find the Merlyn's to have an interesting dynamic.

 

Laurel sucks though.

 

But tons of salmon ladders!  TONS!

 

AOS had a really good episode around the time Captain America: Winter Soldier came out in theaters which is considered a turning point for the series.  That episode was really good, I didn't watch a bunch after it.

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I still have no idea why they always play the Theatrical Cut on TV unless it's a pay station like HBO, Cinemax, etc. Every single time I hear that dead-bored monotone (you can just see Harrison getting through a page or two, throwing the script and saying "get me a bourbon goddammit") I change the channel when otherwise you'd probably have my attention for the duration.

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Final Cut ftw, of course.

 

It's also the easiest cut to find on dvd/blu-ray these days (although I think I own... uh, five different cuts?  U.S. Theatrical, Foreign Theatrical [only difference is a few more seconds of blood iirc], Director's Cut, Final Cut, and Workprint, so yeah, five.)

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