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I've Never Seen Star Wars


Fuzzy Dunlop

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No offense intended to its fans, but if I want to read about the war of the roses, it won't have dragons in it.

99% of the time, neither does Game of Thrones! BA-ZING~!

Never seen E.T. and have zero desire to ever do so. That may be one of the first films where the trailer told you pretty much everything you needed to know.

It basically tells you the whole plot, yeah, but certainly not all the bizarre and unexpected tonal shifts. This movie contains scifi, drama, verbal comedy, well-timed slapstick, some legit straight-up horror sequences, and even a damn outta-nowhere romantic dance sequence. (No, it's not between Elliott and E.T., either.) It ain't the best movie ever made, but it's pretty damn good.

Yeah, Star Trek can go to hell.

WHICH Star Trek? It's been around for half a century. Six television shows, twelve movies, absolutely countless books and video games. It's hardly all the same damn thing. Massive differences between different parts of that franchise.

And of my mentions that Curt re-recommended, I'd be down for all of 'em except for more Michael Moore, Spike Lee, and Dario Argento. I find those particular guys to be (respectively) infuriatingly smug with unfair cheapshots and loose facts, exasperatingly overrated with pointless stylistic excess and a one-track mind, and almost entirely talentless with only one good credit to his name (Deep Red) and otherwise such a fucking terrible filmmaker that I have no idea why he has ANY reputation (let alone such an incredibly wrong reputation as "Italy's best horror director", which would be approximately like naming Burger King "America's best steakhouse").

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Tabe has never seen:

- any of the Godfather movies

- any of the LOTR movies, though I own the blu rays

- either of the Hobbit movies

- Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Scrubs, The Wire, CSI, or The Amazing Race

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I have never watched a single episode of a Joss Whedon tv-show, no Buffy, no Angel, no Firefly, not even Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Also have never watched an episode of Doctor Who.

 

EDIT: I also have never seen a Twilight movie, but that probably doesn't have to be mentioned on this board.

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Well, I've never seen Star Wars.

 

 

I might have seen one or two of them when I was too small to retain it, but I've consciously tried to watch A New Hope like five times. Can't get through it. It's way too boring and due to cultural osmosis I still know more or less everything that happens. I've never seen Titanic and neither has my wife. It became a conscious decision and at some point a point of pride, and I never will. I've also never seen LOTR, just didn't appeal.

 

I've never seen a second of Big Bang Theory or How I Met Your Mother. I don't doubt that they had some funny moments but I'm OK with it.

 

 

I don't think I've seen Planet of the Apes.

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I have never watched Breaking Bad, Lost, 24 and anything related to Star Trek.

 

I also have never watched Forrest Gump, Titanic, Inception and Back to the Future.

 

I must also add I love the word 'osmosis'.

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Kuetsar: Thanks for the correction. So I can watch Shrek and still claim to have never seen a Pixar film? Sweet.  Seriously, with my five year-old granddaughter living next door and staying here most waking hours (I'm sure that Pixar is inevitable, can't be worse than Peppa Pig, I could go on for pages about how much I hate that show). I can suffer through Paw Patrol, Sanjay and Craig has its moments, and I rather enjoy SpongeBob Squarepants, but Peppa Pig is the most vile thing on tv and my granddaughter refuses to miss a single episode. The fact that it seems to be on three or four times a day doesn't help matters. God, I hate that show.

 

Tabe: I think I know your tastes well enough from years of hanging out on the same boards to say that I think you would dig both GoT and The Wire. LOTR I'm not sure about, depends on how much of a Tolkien purist you are. If you can detach from the books, it's a damn good fantasy film. If you're hung up on the books, you'll just hate it. First time through, I couldn't detach from the books and just hated it. Second time I watched it on its own terms and liked it quite a bit.

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I don't understand why you hate Pixar so much. They're known as THE place for legit art that just happens to be sold as a "children's picture", rather than the usual tiny-bit-o'-art hiding inside what's totally a children's picture. (Except for the inexplicably popular Cars franchise, which mostly exists to sell merchandise; but even that one managed the unbelievable miracle of making Larry The Cable Guy halfway fun and tolerable. "You owe me thirty-two thousand dollars in legal fees!") They're nothing like practically anything else in America, or at least they weren't until Disney and Dreamworks kinda-sorta caught up with them every once in a while.

And, The Z: just watch Firefly. Bear with the first couple of so-so episodes, it gets REALLY good REALLY fast. (And then abruptly ends right in the middle of the first season, because Fox is run by poop-throwing monkeys. But at least the final episode just-so-happened to kinda be a stopping point. Of course, Fox never BROADCAST that one and two others, despite having them finished and already paid for...)

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Tabe has never seen:

- any of the Godfather movies

- any of the LOTR movies, though I own the blu rays

- either of the Hobbit movies

- Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, Scrubs, The Wire, CSI, or The Amazing Race

The Wire is the only thing on this list I have watched. Most of the stuff in this thread I have never heard of at all. I have always been mostly consumed with playing and listening to music though. Been that way since age 3. I didn't know how outside pop culture I was until I wandered into The Avengers thread on this board. Wondered why the post amount was so high. Had never heard of it and it turned out to be one of the top 5 highest grossing films ever. There was a point I was at least aware of this stuff. Not sure what changed. I did watch the first 3 Star Wars movies. I only remember thinking Empire Strikes Back was good.  

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infuriatingly smug with unfair cheapshots and loose facts
exasperatingly overrated with pointless stylistic excess and a one-track mind
and almost entirely talentless with only one good credit to his name

 

It seems like you mean the first two are both Spike and Moore and the last two are Argento. 

 

Suspiria, Inferno, Tenebrae for Argento and Do the Right Thing, Malcolm X, Clockers for Lee are all worth the price of purchase. I admit I should have shaved Moore off because the only one I've seen all the way through was Bowling for Columbine.

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This thread has a lot too much proud, almost chest-beating "I've never watched an episode of this well-regarded Film/Series" and not enough people trying to rectify it.  It's really weird.  I mean, I understand the "I don't like Sci-fi/fantasy so I haven't seen Star Wars/LOTR" vibe, but I don't get how many "I've never seen The Godfather/The Wire etc." and being proud of it.  

 

If you haven't seen it, see it.

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To the people saying they've never watched Seinfeld..  I'm the opposite. I've not seen much of any sitcom SINCE Seinfeld because none of them can compare. I watched some Big Bang Theory and much of it is crap especially the shit with Penny. How I Met Your Mother is garbage. 2 and a Half Men was garbage with Sheen and worse now. How did they make Sheen and the same sex jokes over and over into a successful show? Crazy.

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This thread has a lot too much proud, almost chest-beating "I've never watched an episode of this well-regarded Film/Series" and not enough people trying to rectify it.  It's really weird.  I mean, I understand the "I don't like Sci-fi/fantasy so I haven't seen Star Wars/LOTR" vibe, but I don't get how many "I've never seen The Godfather/The Wire etc." and being proud of it.  

 

If you haven't seen it, see it.

 

I don't know.  I've heard that it insists upon itself.

 

 

 

Dammit, Caley, this was supposed to be a no-shame zone.

I DON'T FEEL SAFE IN THIS THREAD ANYMORE!

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I've never seen:

The Wire

Deadwood

The Shield

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Arrested Devolpment

Lost

The Sopranos

Mad Men

Breaking Bad

Community

 

I'm just keeping this down to series right now as the amount of movies I haven't seen is kind of massive. Most of this is just a case of not really having a strong enough interest. Some I admit seeing your comments and reviews probably scared me off (The Shield) as I really don't want to watch a season of crap before it gets good.

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And, The Z: just watch Firefly. Bear with the first couple of so-so episodes, it gets REALLY good REALLY fast. (And then abruptly ends right in the middle of the first season, because Fox is run by poop-throwing monkeys. But at least the final episode just-so-happened to kinda be a stopping point. Of course, Fox never BROADCAST that one and two others, despite having them finished and already paid for...)

 

Thanks, I'll probably do so. it's not that I'm biased against Joss Whedon in any way, I just never got around to it. I've read plenty of his comic books.

Let's face it, I'll definitely watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. at some point.

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Jingus: If that comment about hating Pixar was directed to me, let me be clear. I have never seen one of their films, and I can't very well hate something that I'm completely ignorant of. That said, their subject matter doesn't tend to do a lot for me, so I've never thought "Gee, I really need to see a movie about talking airplanes or cars or toys or whatever."  If I had been born thirty years later, I may well have thought that they were just the cat's pajamas, but as it is, I doubt I'll see any of their releases until my granddaughter decides that she wants to start watching. Mentioning that Larry the Cable Guy is in one of the films is hardly a selling point for me. That said, the style of animation is pretty cool, and certainly better than the faux-manga stuff that seems to be all the rage.

 

Now as far as hating children's programming, I reserve all of that hatred for "Peppa Pig". There simply aren't words to describe how much I loathe that particular show.

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It seems improbable to me that people haven't at least seen one of the first two GODFATHER movies. Years back, it seemed like one of them was on TV somewhere pretty much constantly. Surely, at some point, on some lazy Sunday, you'd just give in.

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OSJ: I've never read Tolkien, so i don't really care how the movies line up to the books :)

And, since my picks got specifically played, lemme be clear: there's no chest-beating with my list. I fully intend to watch all of that stuff on mine.

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