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I've Never Seen Star Wars


Fuzzy Dunlop

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Never read a word or seen more than a min or two of Harry potter. Told Got to go fuck itself after the kid was thrown from the tower in the first book. Never saw titanic or breaking bad. . . .

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Also, I've never actually seen anything by Jean Luc Goddard. The clips and scenes of his films I have seen make them look like every boring pretentious French art movie you don't want to see.  

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Never read a word or seen more than a min or two of Harry potter. Told Got to go fuck itself after the kid was thrown from the tower in the first book. Never saw titanic or breaking bad. . . .

 

I read the first Harry Potter book when it first came out and quite liked it. Then it blew up huge and I was kind of put off. It's not being hipsterish (I hope) to say that projects lose something of their appeal when they become that ridiculously over-exposed.

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I may have been in places where one of the Harry Potter movies were on in the background but I've never actively watched one, nor have I read any of the books.

Name a sitcom and I've probably never seen an episode of it (I'm counting Scrubs, Community, 30 Rock, etc in this group)

I've seen plenty of clips of Scarface but never watched the whole thing.

Never seen an episode of any Dr. Who season.

I think I've watched maybe 1-2 episodes of The Sopranos and Mad Men

Never seen The Hangover or most bromantic comedies

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Also, I've never actually seen anything by Jean Luc Goddard. The clips and scenes of his films I have seen make them look like every boring pretentious French art movie you don't want to see.

I'd generally agree, but Breathless is still worth a viewing.

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As I'll be 57 in a couple of weeks and am pretty set in my ways, I doubt much of this will change.

 

I have never had a driver's license (I've only driven a car about thirty or forty times and don't much care for it.)

I was born and raised in Seattle, but have never been up in the Space Needle.

I have never watched Scrubs or The Big Bang Theory. This could change, I never watched Seinfeld until about five years after it ended, now I love it. FWIW: Friends could have been vastly improved by taking a few pages from the GoT playbook and having had some beheadings and people thrown out of windows.

I have never watched a Pixar film, though I have some marginal interest in watching Shrek one of these days to see what all the fuss is about.

I have never seen an Adam Sandler movie in its entirety and have no real interest in doing so.

I have never watched anything with "Die Hard" or "Fast & Furious" in the title.

I have never had a "breakfast burrito" and consider same to be a culinary abomination, so it's pretty likely that I will never have one.

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I watched a few episodes of Friends. It always felt like Chandler was a character from another, better show and the rest of it was just "meh."

 

And the Ross/Rachel stuff was just infuriating.  

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EDIT: why do we still have a ten-box limit on posting quotes?

I've only seen the pilot of Breaking Bad. Looked decent enough, but it didn't automatically hook me in.

 

Nah, the people that have genuine venom for BBT are almost universally the reason the internet is made fun of, in a bizarre irony.

Motherfuck Big Bang Theory. It's a standard mediocre comedy that pretends to be smarter than average. If you're gonna make a show about nerds, don't make it wallow in early-1980s stereotypes about what nerds are supposed to be. It's literally doing the exact same jokes as Revenge of the Nerds, except 30 years later and pretending they're fresh and current. Okay, getting people like Summer Glau or Katie Sackhoff to show up in those neat self-deprecating cameos was cool and all, but the vast majority of the show is just the same old shit as every other sitcom ever.

 

I know the dude from Roseanne is in it but I feel like you end up thinking why watch an episode of it when you could just watch an old episode of Roseanne instead when it has John Goodman and John Goodman is awesome?

Oh hey, there's another one, I've never watched a single episode of Roseanne. Even despite the fact that Joss Whedon made his bones as a writer on that show. Yeah, John Goodman is eternally awesome, but even he's not awesome enough to counter the intense dislike and discomfort that the mere sight of Roseanne Barrnold inspires deep down in my soul of souls.

 

Also, if you have avoided Scrubs, you have done yourself a horrible disservice.

Then call me T-Mobile, because my service is indeed horrible and dissy. I occasionally would catch a couple of minutes while channel-surfing, and utterly did not see the appeal at all. Zero desire to ever try to watch it.

 

On that note, if someone were to watch Star Wars for the first time, and wanted to watch all 6, which order would you recommend?  Part of me feels like you should start with the originals, just so you can get the "holy crap" moments with Yoda in the prequels.  But then I got to thinking, if a new viewer started watching, it would be best to start with the prequels, just so you get the Vader redemption after seeing him rise and fall.

I've actually had this subject come up several times. I tell everyone the same speech: you probably wanna go 4-5-6-1-2-3, because that's how the rest of the world experienced it (and the slower pace and action in the original trilogy might look like a disappointing anticlimax after the Matrix-style craziness of the prequels, to a modern audience). And really, the prequels are mostly designed for an audience who've already seen the OT. But it would be interesting to talk to someone who first experienced them as 1-2-3-4-5-6 and see what their thoughts on the overall story first.

 

Also, I've never seen any of the Halloween or Exorcist movies. I'm 41 and I know should've seen at least one of them, but for whatever reason, I have no inclination to.

Depends on what you like. If you like slasher movies, go with the original Halloween. If you like supernatural thrillers, go with the first Exorcist. If you like laughing hysterically at the worst movies ever made, go with Exorcist 2: The Heretic. And if you like MY opinion, go with Halloween 4 or the first Rob Zombie remake.

 

most reality TV.

me too nuff said

 

Somewhat unusually for this board, I've never seen a movie that starred either Freddy Krueger or Jason.

Sadly, you're not missing too much. Half of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies and most of the Friday the 13th flicks are pure crap. Ironically enough, I'd advise you to start with Freddy vs. Jason.

 

Also, I have never seen It's A Wonderful Life.

Never seen it in one sitting. Seen most of the scenes at one point or another, but never the whole movie. It makes me wonder things like "why the hell is Donna Reed naked in the shrubbery?!".

 

I'd generally agree, but Breathless is still worth a viewing.

Hell, I'd recommend jumping feet-first right into the deep end of Godard's suffocating craziness with Week-End. Worked for me. I've yet to like a single other movie he's done, and I've seen at least five of the damn things.

 

Never seen Citizen Kane.

Kane is straight-up RUINED by its reputation. No movie in history could support that level of hype. In reality, it's just an 8/10 drama about how being rich can still ruin your life, for the most part. (With some un-fucking-believable technical tricks that you'll never even notice unless you have someone else point them out for you, which made a not-huge-budget movie look like they had the money to do anything they damn well wanted.)

There's any number of TV shows I've never watched, way too many to even begin listing. Especially anything that falls under the banner of "reality" television, which is a genre that actively offends and angers me in SO many ways that I can't start articulating them all.

But I can at least list some of the Big Mandatory Movies that I've never watched:

Ben-Hur

Say Anything

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Ikiru

Some Like It Hot

Cool Hand Luke

The Apartment

The 400 Blows

anything by Terence Malick except The New World (which did NOT leave me wanting to see any more of his shit)

La Dolce Vita

most John Wayne movies, except for a small handful of half-a-dozen

most Marx Brothers movies

most Charlie Chaplin movies

The Graduate

To Kill A Mockingbird

The Hustler

anything by Yasujiro Ozu

The Great Escape

The Killing

most Woody Allen movies, except for a small handful of half-a-dozen

The Deer Hunter

The Magnificent Seven

most Robert Altman movies

Trainspotting

The Last Picture Show

In the Heat of the Night

most Spike Lee movies

any Beatles movies

most Sam Peckinpah movies

Almost Famous

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Fiddler on the Roof

Dr. Zhivago

Blow Out

Bullitt

Big Trouble in Little China

Slap Shot (and, really, most popular sports movies)

L'aventura

From Here to Eternity

anything by Sergei Eisenstein

Forbidden Planet

Spartacus

Hoop Dreams

Wayne's World 1 or 2

American Graffiti

The Natural

Bull Durham

Inherit the Wind

Fletch

Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Don't Look Now

most Dario Argento movies, except for a small handful of half-a-dozen

any Harold Lloyd movie

Easy Rider

Cape Fear, either version

Fantasia, any version

any Akira Kurosawa movie after 1963 or before 1949

any Muppet movies except A Christmas Carol

any John Cassavetes movies

The Wicker Man (original)

Cabaret

any Luis Bunuel movie except for Un Chien Andalou

The Killing Fields

Labyrinth

Big Fish

WarGames

The Dead Zone

My Dinner with Andre

Major League

Sophie's Choice

most David Cronenberg movies

any Billy Wilder movie except Double Indemnity

any Preston Sturges movie except Lured

any Errol Morris movie except Fast, Cheap, & Out of Control

any Michael Moore movie except Bowling for Columbine

any Pedro Almovodar movie except Volver

any Cecil B. DeMille movie

And finally, I've never seen 41 out of 86 Best Picture Oscar winners, including every single one after The Hurt Locker.

EDIT: and OSJ, Shrek isn't a Pixar movie. It's from Dreamworks, their main competition.

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Yeah, if you got pissed at Game of Thrones for Bran getting thrown out the window, you wouldn't last long watching GoT. 

I've read enough about the series to know that, yeah its not for me. No offense intended to its fans, but if I want to read about the war of the roses, it won't have dragons in it.  To each their own and all that. I generally don't read fiction; outside the dragon tattoo series, discworld and douglas adams, I probably haven't read more than two or three novels in ten years. BTW FUCK mario puzzo, the godfather was good enough(the book not the movie) but it seems like

he kills off the starring character in every other damn book of his I've read

 I tend to stick to history and/or poltical science books, with a humor book or two thrown in. As far as reading goes, I've been an old man since my mid twenties(I'm 35 now. . )

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Breakfast at Tiffany's really is awful. Even over-looking the hateful and insulting racism, it's basically about a narcissistic, emotionally unhinged hooker who gets away with everything because, well, she looks like Audrey Hepburn.

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Never seen E.T. and have zero desire to ever do so. That may be one of the first films where the trailer told you pretty much everything you needed to know.

I remember hating it when I was a kid. . . .haven't have a desire to give it another chance.

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I've made a list of 30 Films (My Summer Viewing list in an ode to the old high school summer reading list) that Are Well-Known, Respected, Reviewed or Revered.

 

 

(Checkmarks for the ones I've seen so far this summer)

13 Assassins √

A Beautiful Mind

Animal House

Blues Brothers

Caddyshack √

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Dances With Wolves

Dazed and Confused

Godfather III

Goon

Into the Wild

Jaws

JFK

Let Me In

Life Is Beautiful

Munich

Platoon

Point Break

Red Heat

Saturday Night Fever

Smokey and the Bandit 2

Starship Troopers √

The Lego Movie

The Notebook

The Rock

The Wolf of Wall Street

This is England √

Top Gun

Transformers: Dark of the Moon √

Withnail & I

Zoolander √

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On that note, if someone were to watch Star Wars for the first time, and wanted to watch all 6, which order would you recommend?  Part of me feels like you should start with the originals, just so you can get the "holy crap" moments with Yoda in the prequels.  But then I got to thinking, if a new viewer started watching, it would be best to start with the prequels, just so you get the Vader redemption after seeing him rise and fall.

 

I would suggest watching them in "machete order".

 

http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/

 

EDIT: Fixed link (goodhelmet)

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I have seen from Jingus' list

 

Cool Hand Luke (most of)
To Kill A Mockingbird
The Killing
The Deer Hunter
The Magnificent Seven
Trainspotting
The Last Picture Show (some of)
most Spike Lee movies
most Sam Peckinpah movies
Almost Famous
Blow Out
Bullitt (some of)
Big Trouble in Little China (some of! I swear!)
Forbidden Planet
Wayne's World 1 or 2
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
Don't Look Now
most Dario Argento movies, except for a small handful of half-a-dozen
Easy Rider
Cape Fear, either version
Fantasia (OG)
some Kurosawa
The Wicker Man (original)
Labyrinth
The Dead Zone
Major League
most David Cronenberg movies
most Errol Morris movies
most Michael Moore movies

 

You are really missing out on pretty much all of those. 

 

I've got nine of of Caley's list and it saddens me to think I've only seen most of (way more than "some of") Caddyshack and The Blues Brothers all the way through. 

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