Jump to content
DVDVR Message Board

Recommended Posts

One thing bigoted lunatics really don't grasp at all about ISIS to begin with is they want to fuck with EVERYONE. They hate other Muslims as much as they hate anyone else. It's sad to see how people reacted while it was going down and in the aftermath. I think I read someone say we should attack Iran because of it, there are no words to reply to how stupid that is.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think people understand that there are different Islamic teachings much like Christianity you have your main denominations and schools that branch off of each one.  Most of these schools are peaceful and then there are some I don't even want to say schools but movements that promote hate. 

 

I don't want to get into religion or politics all you can really say is that there are a lot of uninformed people out there and if I did social networking I would probably have A LOT less friends today than I did yesterday. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What a lot of people don't understand is that the Syrian (and other) refugees who flee to Europe are fleeing from exactly these pieces of shit.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honesty, the behavior of 90% of social media from all sides in the last 72 hours has been reprehensible, but that's our society now. Thanks Ratings based News Media.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know why I'm typing this here, probably because this is the only place on the internet where I have a degree on anonymity, but here goes.

My wife of six years has been cheating on me. A lot.

I found out because I sensed something was off back in September, and I snooped into her email. I discovered that she was one of the few women that had an Ashley Madison account. She had used it met men to cheat on me with. She cheated on me with 11 men in just under three months.

This wasn't normal, "go to the movies and hold hands and maybe screw afterwards" stuff, either. This was dark stuff, sadistic self-harm type stuff. I read emails discussing things. I saw pictures. I saw video. I saw the person I absolutely love the most doing some things that make me uncomfortable just thinking about. No person should have to see their spouse do that sort of stuff.

I confronted her about it and initiated a separation. She convinced me that I should stay. We sought out a couples counselor and she found a new therapist. The therapist diagnosed my wife with having a sexual addiction.

At first I laughed at the idea of sexual addiction being a real thing; it seemed so preposterous. Now, after two months of dealing with her double life and continually catching her in lies, talking to men and women and meeting these people, I see that she is no different than any sort of drug addict on a binge. It's been scary, difficult and stressful.

My mental health is okay. I have waves of anxiety, anger, depression and all sorts of other emotions that fire up all at once. My physical health has also taken a nosedive in the last two months. I recently had an outbreak of hemorrhoids (my first time ever having them) that resulted in me losing a ton of blood and having to have surgery. My surgeon told me that stress could have exacerbated what was a seemingly tiny problem. I've also exhibited some compulsive behavior that was probably brought on by anxiety. I seem to have that under control, although I bought a few hundred dollars worth of records in October instead of paying my bills.

I've recognized these problems and I'm seeing a therapist now to get past this stuff. On the other hand I've been at my wit's end with my wife and her illness. I gave her an ultimatum two weeks ago after catching her again and she has agreed to go to inpatient treatment at a rehab facility in Florida that was recommended by her therapist.

It sucks that it has gotten this far. It sucks that we had to borrow $20,000 to send her there. It sucks that now I see a therapist and attend 12 Step meetings (S-Anon, a group for relatives and spouses of sex addicts). It sucks that I'm going to be without my wife on Thanksgiving.

I haven't been able to tell friends this. It hurts too much. I just want her to go away and get better. I want to try to learn to trust her again. I've thought about leaving, but I honestly can't leave her and still look at myself in the mirror if I knew that I didn't stick around and try everything I could to get her healthy again. This is my last, best hope for my wife to be healthy.

Everyone please think good, healing thoughts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't know you or your wife but I'm gonna say this anyway because I'm bent and I'm feeling really honest. Don't bother. It's not worth saving, let her go. You're going to wind up "fixing" this and being back in the same spot. Get out, get yourself right, get happy. If y'all can get to where you're OK as two humans, cool, but you need to take care of yourself first and foremost.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's nothing that I can say that's going to provide any real insight into your issue, and I damn sure can't provide you anything that resembles advice. . .so I'll just say that, whatever path you and your wife choose to go down with this, I hope that your physical health improves and things get better somehow.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wowsers at Buy Me a Buritto's story. Not great with words so all I can say is I wish you well during this trying time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone for the advice, good and bad. 

 

My first instinct is to leave her, but I also know that this is compulsive behavior that is not unlike an alcohol or drug addiction. I have to try to see this through. I'm just starting to take the steps to protect myself. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

God damn, Burrito.  Much like Gonzo, I have no really good advice to give.  I just want to wish you well moving forward with whichever way you decide to go with this.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is just one person's opinion on the internet and understandably it doesn't mean much but thinking about your situation I can't really put myself in your shoes obviously but I think I would also leave. But with that said, I don't think leaving and not being there for her has to be the same thing. Like you can still help her, be there for her and try to be friends moving forward but also rebuild your own life and someday work towards meeting other people.

 

Hope everything works out.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone for the advice, good and bad. 

 

My first instinct is to leave her, but I also know that this is compulsive behavior that is not unlike an alcohol or drug addiction. I have to try to see this through. I'm just starting to take the steps to protect myself. 

 

Dude: My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Many years ago my wife developed a gambling addiction. I was making great money and ignoring our finances so it was easy for her to grab a couple of thou and head to the casino. It wasn't until a mortgage payment bounced that I realized how bad things were. We worked through it, there are programs that help nearly every type of addiction, hopefully you guys find some help.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is just one person's opinion on the internet and understandably it doesn't mean much but thinking about your situation I can't really put myself in your shoes obviously but I think I would also leave. But with that said, I don't think leaving and not being there for her has to be the same thing. Like you can still help her, be there for her and try to be friends moving forward but also rebuild your own life and someday work towards meeting other people.

 

Hope everything works out.

She's out of the house for the next month. This is effectively a separation right now. 

 

I'm taking this month to get myself in order; seeing my therapist, attending S-Anon meetings and once I fully heal from the surgery I'm heading back into the gym. I've neglected myself for far too long over this.

 

When she comes back we are going away for a week together (on a cruise that we'd planned way before this ever happened). It's going to be a time to be re-acquainted and to figure out if we can work through this.

 

We're good together. Even after this whole thing came to light, we'd have days where we spent our time like any other married couple. Dinner, going to the movies, talking, goofing off. It's just her web of deceit that has fouled things up. Hopefully this next month can clear the air and get us both on the road to being healthy.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good on ya, mate! All best!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not going to presume to offer input or advice. I'm just gonna say good on you for taking care of yourself and for getting her help. I sure hope everything works out.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hang in there, man. I can't even imagine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My best friend's wife was cheating on him.

The two of them are currently moving out of the house they share with a few roommates, trying basically to give themselves a year without anyone else moving with them to see if they can work it out.

He's my closest friend, she's been a friend, and I have no idea what to tell him. I mean, he's still in love with her, but he's hurt, clearly, and didn't know what to do at all and I'm just... "I'm here no matter what."

So, yeah, no advice from me but hang in there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Burrito I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't have any advice, this is way above my pay grade, but I would like to say that I admire you trying to take the rational approach and trying to get your wife and yourself taken care of. I sincerely hope it works out well for you guys.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Man, fuck 11/21."

That was for you, mom. Peace be with you.

Aka: "Okay, fine, guess *I'll* have to cook the turkey now!" :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fuck Centurylink.

18 months ago, I had them for internet & phone and then DirecTV through them. I canceled it and paid off the ETFs and everything else. Asked repeatedly on the phone "This is everything I owe, correct?" Yep, it was.

6 months later, after no communication whatsoever, I got a letter from a collection agency for a month worth of service that I did not owe. I contacted them, disputed the debt, and told them not to contact me unless they had proof of the debt. They contacted me anyway, so I filed a complaint with the feds about them. They dropped the pursuit of the debt.

6 months after that (last July), I got another letter from a different collection agency. I disputed the debt and told them of the previous efforts. Nothing.

This past weekend, I get letter from the second collection agency with no letter - just a copy of the bill I supposedly owe. It's for a phone number I never had. It appears that Centurylink created a second account for me when I canceled the original, somehow stuck a month worth of service on it and then never billed me for it, and now thinks I somehow owe them for it.

I've reached out to a lawyer about suing Centurylink and this debt collector for harassment. Maybe I can sock them with a nice judgment for bothering me about $82 I don't owe.

And the best part? In the last 10 months, since I first got the debt collection letter, Centurylink has sent me at least half a dozen flyers trying to get me to sign up for their service again. Sure thing, guys!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Burger King are calling out the cops for illegally erasing their surveillance video of Laquan McDonald’s murder. Frigging Burger King is now doing more to serve the justice system than Chicago PD.

Burger King: The Last Bastion of American Justice. 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's something you don't see every day ... Burger King defending McDonald's rights.

  • Like 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...