What are the WORST films you have seen?

[Elsalvajeloco]

I saw Easy A on television today, and Emma Stone's Olive character has to be one of the least endearing, obnoxious, repulsive characters in the history of film. When she goes dancing across the floor, I just wanted someone to take a lead pipe and any close blunt object to her head. I can't believe they are letting Will Gluck direct the Annie remake. He can go suck a bag of dicks for this putrid pile of feces.

[Petey]

Chernobyl Diaries was hideous. I also hated Quarantine. I loved I Love You Beth Cooper on first watch because I love Hayden Panettiere but upon second viewing... it wasn't very good.

[Tromatagon]

Totally forgot Ghost Rider 2. That's worse than the others I mentioned

[E.J.]

The Happening. I'm not buying Shymalan's whole "It's supposed to be a B-movie" bullshit either.

 

Also, my girlfriend's most dumb friend said Beastly was really good.So naturally after I watched it, I had much more evidence to point out why that one particular friend was the most dumb.

[SorceressKnight]

No Budget: The Wiz Kid. When I was younger, part of me wanted to try and watch every film my movie store had randomly. This movie quickly showed me that I had made a terrible mistake.

 

With Budget: The Brady Bunch Movie.

[Ace]

 

Xanadu was the first movie I ever saw where I said to myself, "Self, this isn't a very good movie." I was 7.

I like Xanadu for the kitsch value. Same w the Sgt Pepper movie.And ELO.

 

Have you seen The Apple?

[odessasteps]

Xanadu was the first movie I ever saw where I said to myself, "Self, this isn't a very good movie." I was 7.

I like Xanadu for the kitsch value. Same w the Sgt Pepper movie.And ELO.

Have you seen The Apple?

Not that i can recall.

[Jingus]

You guys have some awfully goddamn strange choices here.  Nacho Libre?  Really?  I didn't even like that movie, but I wouldn't say it's any worse than a stupid forgettable comedy.  At least Peter Stormare's cameo was cute, and Silver King was pretty king-sized as the rudo.  

 

 

-Okay, first and foremost: any movie that ever played on Mystery Science Theater 3000 is automatically disqualified.  More than half of those were easily worse than more than half of the movies named in this thread so far, and it's shooting fish in a barrel.  (Giant fish in a tiny barrel and you've got a bazooka.)  

 

HOWever, there is one exception: MANOS, THE HANDS OF FATE.  As Razie mentioned, this one is absolutely unwatchable without the riff.  There's other MST3K entries which came close to this one's shittiness at times (Monster A-Go-Go, The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who yadda yadda yadda, everything Ed Wood ever) but none of them quiiiiiite measure up to the sheer jaw-dropping horror which is this film.  I mean, christ, at least Ed Wood kept the camera in focus and didn't use just three voice actors to dub the whole damn movie.  And NOTHING HAPPENS and nothing makes sense and everything takes forever and it's got the most hideously unpleasant ending imaginable and oh God, I still can barely believe it even exists.  

 

 

-Next, on to modern no-budget amateur crap: first of all, do I even need to explain why BIRDEMIC: SHOCK AND TERROR belongs here?  I hope not.  An astoundingly incompetent film.  It makes The Room look so much better in comparison that I'mma not even gonna list The Room.  

 

But believe it or not, there's even worse out there!  Dig yourself up a little gem called ZOMBIES GONE WILD, a movie which contains few zombies and nothing wild.  The entire thing is a bunch of improvised scenes of non-actors with a prosumer video camera and no boom mic, who make a bunch of HILARIOUS jokes about farting, shitting, and fucking.  I couldn't even make it through half of this goddamn thing, it literally looks like a student film that got a failing grade, but it was sitting right there on the shelf in Blockbuster!  

 

I imagine that pretty much every Alex Jones "documentary" are all alike.  The one I had the misfortune to see was ENDGAME: BLUEPRINT FOR GLOBAL ENSLAVEMENT.  It's the worst allegedly nonfiction film I've ever seen in my life; and I've seen What the (bleep) Do We Know?  Alex Jones is the sort of raving lunatic you'd expect to run around with a tinfoil helmet to hide his thoughts from the mothership, a bewildering stew of paranoia and outrage against shit that doesn't exist.  If I actually had any good money, I would pay good money for some guys to give him an NWO beatdown while wearing NWO t-shirts and screaming about how he should have never fucked with the New World Order, and then just wait for the next Coast-to-Coast AM radio show where he blames the whole attack on Obama.  

 

Back in the 80s, there were a couple of flicks called DEATH NURSE and DEATH NURSE 2.  They were actually one movie split in two, and they look like someone making the most insulting tribute ever to early John Waters films, except completely forgetting to do anything non-PG.  These are the kind of movies which are padded out by watching the same dream sequence (stock footage from an earlier film from the same people) three times in a row.  Me and some buddies did a Riffed version of the first one and put it on Youtube... and THE UNBELIEVABLE COCKSUCKER who made these things actually hit us with a copyright infringement and made us take it down!  I maintain we actually raised its overall financial value and artistic merit, but oh well.  

 

But if you ever want to really, really stare directly into Satan's asshole: it's called FUNGICIDE.  I flatly refuse to describe it.  You must discover the horror for yourselves.  

 

 

-As for big budget stuff, you've always got your easy gimmes: Battlefield Earth, Transformers 2, most Highlander sequels, every single installment of Twilight, so forth and so on.  But easy gimmes are too easy for me, and I've got SO many others to choose from... I dunno, I'll go think about it and come back tomorrow.  

[Death From Above]

The Room is way too funny to come up on this list. Even if it is terrible.

[Elsalvajeloco]

X-Men: Last Stand wasn't my initial choice because they managed to dress Dania Ramirez like an evil, slutty hybrid dominatrix stripper.  And I approve of that. Now, Joel Schumacher era Batman movies have to be on every worst movie list. It's mandatory.

[Ace]

 

 

 

Xanadu was the first movie I ever saw where I said to myself, "Self, this isn't a very good movie." I was 7.

I like Xanadu for the kitsch value. Same w the Sgt Pepper movie.And ELO.

Have you seen The Apple?

Not that i can recall.

 

 

It might be in your wheelhouse.

And here's the Rifftrax sample. They have it on VOD.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xr771tBAwLw

[Ellsworth Toohey]

So I'm the only person here who actually saw The Garbage Pail Kids Movie in theaters?

[Super Ape]

BROKEN FUCKING FLOWERS.  I love Bill Murray, but Jim Jarmusch is just such a pretentious twat that I wanted to break everything in a ten-mile radius after that ending.

[HumanChessgame]

I'm not counting direct to nowhere negative budget type films, just things that got a moderately wide release at least.

 

I normally go to the movies by myself but some of the few times I went with other people I've ended up seeing something that was utter crap and unable to walk out of.  Godzilla (the 1998 version with Jean Reno) and Mission Impossible 2 immediately come to mind.

[Johnny Sorrow]

Me and a group of friends went to see "Toys", and they all wanted to walk out. I refuse to ever do that. I kept saying, "Naw, maybe it'll get good" and then "Well, let's just stay cause we can't get a refund." I'll never walk out of a movie I paid to see without a refund, and getting a refund is more of a pain in the ass than just sitting through it.

 

But, oy vey...did that stink.

[Elsalvajeloco]

Toys was very unsettling to watch as a kid twenty years. I can't imagine how creepy it would be now.

[Death From Above]

I forgot about the Super Mario Brothers movie.

 

... what the fuck was that?

[sydneybrown]

The Apple is hilarious.  It's horrible, but it's so much funnier and entertaining than actual decent movies.  That, The Room, and Can't Stop the Music (the history of the Village People starring the Village People) are among the most horribly awesome movies ever made.

 

I can't believe someone mentioned FART The Movie, because it really is one of the most awful things ever.  I was in a bad movie club and we intentionally watched bad movies for five years.  THAT was the one movie I couldn't finish.  People watch TV and every show involves farting.  And it's shot on a VHS camera.  And there's no plot.  My first sentence WAS the plot.  I got through 45 minutes and we had to FFWd to the end.

 

Ghost Chase was the only other one we couldn't get through (directed by Roland Emmerich of ID4, Godzilla, 2012, and White House Down fame.)

 

It's not a film but The Star Wars Holiday Special has been a yearly ordeal to see how long people who don't know better last.  Most of them don't get past thirty minutes.

[Execproducer]

I love a lot of "bad" movies, So when I think of what qualifies for worst movies I've seen, it's either a film I've developed an irrational hatred for, or one of the rare films that compel me to walk out. First type would be something like Mosquito Coast. Harrison Ford is such a convincing D-bag, I found it impossible to believe he was that good an actor. My loathing for that character makes me hate a film that is probably merely mediocre.

 

As for movies I've walked out of, L: Change the World, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy , and Daredevil.

[Gonzo]

Every time this topic comes up, I feel compelled to mention Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

 

One of those movies where saying that everything funny was in the trailer is actually true. And the trailer wasn't even that funny.

[Happ Hazzard]

Beverly Hills Cop III is the worst movie I have ever watch to the end, and that was only because it was in the cinema. If I'd been watching on VHS, I'd have given up.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

Anchorman? Jesus.

[Web Conn]

Meet the Spartans was pretty bad, me and some buddys had some weed before hand and thought we were gonna have ourselves a good old fashioned giggle fest that was not the case I fell asleep about a qaurter through the film I was so bored watching it.

[Execproducer]

Anchorman? Jesus.

I know, right? I was like "Jesus! When does this get funny?"

[MADCAP]

Every time this topic comes up, I feel compelled to mention Kung Pow: Enter the Fist

 

One of those movies where saying that everything funny was in the trailer is actually true. And the trailer wasn't even that funny.

 

You beat me to it.  Not one fucking funny scene.  At all.

 

 

My secondary vote is for Can't Stop The Music(1980).  My mom took me to see this when I was a kid.  Steve Guttenberg + Bruce Jenner + THE VILLAGE PEOPLE = DISASTER.  This was in the Disco Era, but for fucks sake, I promised myself I would never watch it again.

 

Albino Alligator is a pretty bad film also.