Raw 5-12-14

[odessasteps]

For Zeb, New York Jew probably counts as a foreigner.

[cwoy2j]

 

 

I would really like to hear a storyline explanation why Rusev isn't on Zeb Colter's deportation list.

The guy has taken up residence in Russia, openly endorses Vladimir Putin and doesn't seem to speak any English. What else does he have to do?

 

Maybe he immigrated here the right way ala Cesaro.

 

 

But Paul Heyman is on the list and he has always been an American.

It's almost like Zeb Colter is some kind of... hypocrite.

 

 

Heyman used to give out fake work visas to foreign workers in ECW so he was always helping people sneak across the border. He deserves to be on Zeb's list.

[MORELOCK]

There was almost an interesting moment with JBL talking about Bryan's style that started to sound a little shooty, kind of raising a pretty important issue and Lawler immediately shut it down to get back on track with storyline, like 'Kane did this!".  Shit almost got real.  Vince must have been screeching.

 

 

Lawler is finally good for something.

 

Man, it killed Big E completely dead when he ran in to save Duggan and immediately got the shit beat out of him by Rusev. Doesn't really do anything for Rusev, either.

 

I thought they passed up a nice opportunity to have RVD party with the bus people to do something with RVD and try to salvage the abysmal Adam Rose stuff.

[Ramsey]

This was the first Monday I've been without access to Raw (I ditched Dish Network) so I'm glad to see that it sucked.

 

I hope Raw sucks forever now that I don't have instant access to it.

 

Forever.

 

As an aside, anyone who has decided that they are tired of the Shield and want Evolution to kick the shit out of them is being ironic for the sake of being ironic. Your PBR, fixie bike, and Pitchfork discussion group are waiting for you at the gastro-pub.

[Zheroen]

Yeah, dude, hipsters totally suck, and anyone who doesn't like the things you like in professional wrestling must be a stereotypical one.  Way to take such a bold stance on a divisive topic.

[Ramsey]

Yeah, dude, hipsters totally suck, and anyone who doesn't like the things you like in professional wrestling must be a stereotypical one.  Way to take such a bold stance on a divisive topic.

Yes, clearly I have paved new ground by disagreeing with someone on the internet and pointing it out using metaphor.

[Nice Guy Eddie]

Rusev really seems to attract black dudes.

Lana would too if she put on 200 pounds and was trying to get back at her father.

[JonnyLaw]

Also, there are three of them?

 

Can I totally derail whatever credibility I have left by wish fulfillment booking Evolution 2,0 of Sheamus, Regal, Reigns, and Bo Dallas? Complete with a "You have MY spot," speech from Batista to Reigns after he turns and a Bo Dallas Belly-To-Belly hug on Orton as they expel him. This also leads to the Shield calling up Sami with a "We're an army, and armies can call in reinforcements" speech and a really awkward Shield/Orton vs Evolution 2.0 War Games. 

 

Also Sting. And guest host Martin Freeman, in full Fargo character.

 

As awesome as that would be, I really am getting "Reigns joins Evolution" vibes lately.  I think it was him telling Evolution to believe in him.  Pair him with someone like Regal in a Flair/Batista like tag team and let him improve until he's ready for the solo push.

[odessasteps]

If they are so keen to push the UK guys, can we just have a Barrett/Neville/Regal/Paige group?

[Bourdain]

gene kelly crossed with ken shamrock!

[Ramsey]

If they are so keen to push the UK guys, can we just have a Barrett/Neville/Regal/Paige group?

I've been waiting for this too. Barret as the in-ring leader, Neville as his #2 guy and tag partner, Paige as eye-candy/mouthpiece and Regal as the mentor/manager.

[HumanChessgame]

 

There was almost an interesting moment with JBL talking about Bryan's style that started to sound a little shooty, kind of raising a pretty important issue and Lawler immediately shut it down to get back on track with storyline, like 'Kane did this!".  Shit almost got real.  Vince must have been screeching.

 

 

Lawler is finally good for something.

 

Man, it killed Big E completely dead when he ran in to save Duggan and immediately got the shit beat out of him by Rusev. Doesn't really do anything for Rusev, either.

 

I thought they passed up a nice opportunity to have RVD party with the bus people to do something with RVD and try to salvage the abysmal Adam Rose stuff.

 

 

Yeah that isn't doing either guy any favors.  The thing with booking someone as a monster heel who just does squashes (at least in my eye) is that they lose most of their aura once they have to work a longer match and actually sell for someone.  That or their limitations really get exposed when it's revealed they can't do anything more than clobber some guy with just a few moves (Ryback being a good example of this).  Rusev can actually do more than just a few power moves and has a unique offensive style for a guy his size.  To really get him over as a dangerous wrestler they should be showcasing the different stuff he can do and various ways he can hurt another guy.  Let him get really decisive wins, but let the job guy get in a little hope offense so he has more time to show that he's more than just a few impressive power moves and could actually hold his own in a longer match with a more skilled opponent.

[Overly Critical Man]

This was the first Monday I've been without access to Raw (I ditched Dish Network) so I'm glad to see that it sucked.

I hope Raw sucks forever now that I don't have instant access to it.

Forever.

As an aside, anyone who has decided that they are tired of the Shield and want Evolution to kick the shit out of them is being ironic for the sake of being ironic. Your PBR, fixie bike, and Pitchfork discussion group are waiting for you at the gastro-pub.

You type that, knowing full well that Dean Ambrose is approved by four out of five fedora wearers.

[Ramsey]

 

This was the first Monday I've been without access to Raw (I ditched Dish Network) so I'm glad to see that it sucked.

I hope Raw sucks forever now that I don't have instant access to it.

Forever.

As an aside, anyone who has decided that they are tired of the Shield and want Evolution to kick the shit out of them is being ironic for the sake of being ironic. Your PBR, fixie bike, and Pitchfork discussion group are waiting for you at the gastro-pub.

You type that, knowing full well that Dean Ambrose is approved by four out of five fedora wearers.

 

I know....the damnable misery...

 

However, being the Tittie Master grants him a certain immunity...a cool....tittie cool...

[Pete]

I'll never understand why Vince is so weird about where they tape TV. Did the announcers even mention where they were last night? Even Bray couldn't be assed to name-check it for his entrance.

[MADCAP]

 

Rusev really seems to attract black dudes.

Lana would too if she put on 200 pounds and was trying to get back at her father.

 

 

DA FUQ???

[Bourdain]

 

So, why is it okay for the Shield to fend off against all the heels on the roster sans the foreigners but Cena outsmarts/out-powers 3 hicks and the whole WWE is evil and don't know what is successful anymore?

 

Probably b/c they beat the shit out of a bunch of midcarders with chairs whereas Cena overpowered three supposedly monster heels and basically only jobbed to a 5 year old singing.

 

SOrry son but those "monsters" are midcarders at best themselves

[Playa Shunna Ver 3.0]

Was Cesaro on the show?  Did I miss him when I was fast forwarding through the show.  I think they should do a UFC style interim champion until Bryan gets back.  Have him beat that person and carry around three belts.  OMG....NEW Triple Crown.  Also Sting and a War Games match at the next PPV>  

[cool arrow]

I'll never understand why Vince is so weird about where they tape TV. Did the announcers even mention where they were last night? Even Bray couldn't be assed to name-check it for his entrance.

 

Well, they were in "rasslin'" territory last night.

[Pete]

 

I'll never understand why Vince is so weird about where they tape TV. Did the announcers even mention where they were last night? Even Bray couldn't be assed to name-check it for his entrance.

 

Well, they were in "rasslin'" territory last night.

 

 

But it's not just the south- ISTR they taped in Sioux City last year and the same thing happened.

 

If you've got such a fucking complex about the cities you run, maybe you shouldn't run those cities.

[cool arrow]

Seems to be it's been SOP for some time now to not mention the city unless it's a place like Chicago or somewhere with similar cachet.

 

Anyway, when do we get Rusev vs.Big E in the battle of the miniature hosses?

[RIPPA]

On twitter, zeb addee Renee to the list.

 

Well that was Renee's own fault since she called attention to not being on the list on Twitter

[Sublime]

Brie's acting is really great, you're all just missing the story that's being told. See the Bellas were made by the WWE machine but now Brie and Bryan, the one who stands up to the machine, have fallen in love and now she is learning complex human emotions. But that is not an overnight process so slowly she is learning to feel things like anger and fear.

 

Also where are they gonna go with Rusev? Cena will destroy the character in one promo if they try that program. With all the Putin stuff it really seems like the only option would be Darren Young to take him down. Or are there any Ukrainian wrestlers in developmental right now?

[Dolfan in NYC]

A quick note, I think keeping the Rhodes Boys together and turning them both heel would probably be the ideal scenario for them. I hope that's where they were going with that Cody win yesterday. 

 

Also, Evolution booting Batista and replacing him with Sheamus is truly making lemonade out of lemons.  

[Playa Shunna Ver 3.0]

Seems to be it's been SOP for some time now to not mention the city unless it's a place like Chicago or somewhere with similar cachet.

 

Anyway, when do we get Rusev vs.Big E in the battle of the miniature hosses?

Big E's new gimmick should be that he was once a midget wrestler who got hit with a revers shrink ray.  He was regular old E, not he is Big E. They can even have him adopted by the Little Couple over on TLC.  Super summer cross over.  Also a War Games match.