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Raw 5-12-14


MGFanJay

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So, why is it okay for the Shield to fend off against all the heels on the roster sans the foreigners but Cena outsmarts/out-powers 3 hicks and the whole WWE is evil and don't know what is successful anymore?

I think it's literally because Dean Ambrose is a titty master and Roman Reigns is handsome.

 

 

From the FAQ:

 

Q: Wait.  He's only one of many? 

 

A: Yes.  It turns out the whole mythos of titties starts to expand after Volume two when we learn that Dean comes from a whole planet of titty masters who are at war with a planet of thigh masters.  Dean returns home and plays a pivotal role in the end of the war....but not in the way you might think.

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I know the "But it was awesome on NXT!" talking point is bordering on cliche but it's like they're actively trying to sabotage Adam Rose. Literally everything they did right on NXT, they're doing wrong here.

 

If you were a WWE writer, would you want untweaked NXT gimmicks to succeed?  Do you want Vince to start wondering if the NXT creative has better ideas than the WWE guys?

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He should probably drop that missile dropkick too. Didn't Austin tell him that spot was going to cripple him?

 

Yeah, it was what gave him the concussion during the Raw match that blew off the "Daniel Wyatt" angle.

 

He needs a safer top-rope move.  Nobody's using Steamboat's crossbody block, right?

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From the FAQ:

 

Q: Wait.  He's only one of many? 

 

A: Yes.  It turns out the whole mythos of titties starts to expand after Volume two when we learn that Dean comes from a whole planet of titty masters who are at war with a planet of thigh masters.  Dean returns home and plays a pivotal role in the end of the war....but not in the way you might think.

 

 

I already knew Ambrose was an anime character by the facial expressions he does. But to learn he's a hentai character? Something else!

 

And obviously he brings the the titty masters and thigh masters together in peace. That's just one-oh-one. What isn't so obvious is why they all turn against him and how he reacts to it.

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So, why is it okay for the Shield to fend off against all the heels on the roster sans the foreigners but Cena outsmarts/out-powers 3 hicks and the whole WWE is evil and don't know what is successful anymore?

I think it's literally because Dean Ambrose is a titty master and Roman Reigns is handsome.

 

 

From the FAQ:

 

Q: Wait.  He's only one of many? 

 

A: Yes.  It turns out the whole mythos of titties starts to expand after Volume two when we learn that Dean comes from a whole planet of titty masters who are at war with a planet of thigh masters.  Dean returns home and plays a pivotal role in the end of the war....but not in the way you might think.

 

 

Don't turn this into Highlander 2 (They're aliens!) or Star Wars Ep 1 (It's all about biology/bacteria!)

 

Being a Titty Master is like being a Jedi or a Highlander. It's not something that can be explained. It's just something that is...

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I'm actually a little annoyed that they couldn't bother to make TWO versions of Zeb's deportation list and half-assedly covered up Adam Rose's name on the sign last week.

 

That's some bush league bullshit you'd expect from TNA.

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I'd do an angle where Evolution take out The Shield early in the night, maybe even Cena taken out by the Wyatts also. Bryan is forced to forfeit the title to Kane. Kane, in his guise of director of authority issues an open challenge, knowing that no-one is in the building. Roman Reigns returns, pins Kane in seconds, new champ.

 

Authority pissed at Kane for letting the Shield have the title after all the hard work getting rid of Bryan. Evolution/Shield elimination chamber for the title. Reigns retains after Kane interferes against Evolution. Irrelevant Kane/Orton feud. Batista is written out with the roles reversed of the earlier turn on Orton, and replaced by Sheamus.

 

Sheamus/Ambrose over the US title continues, Reigns/HHH main events. Orton/Kane pointless something for them to do. Build to Bryan's return against Reigns at Summerslam with HHH as guest referee. Do the Summerslam 92 dynamic that one of them has secured HHH's help.

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I would really like to hear a storyline explanation why Rusev isn't on Zeb Colter's deportation list.

The guy has taken up residence in Russia, openly endorses Vladimir Putin and doesn't seem to speak any English. What else does he have to do?

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So, why is it okay for the Shield to fend off against all the heels on the roster sans the foreigners but Cena outsmarts/out-powers 3 hicks and the whole WWE is evil and don't know what is successful anymore?

 

Probably b/c they beat the shit out of a bunch of midcarders with chairs whereas Cena overpowered three supposedly monster heels and basically only jobbed to a 5 year old singing.

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Also, there are three of them?

 

Can I totally derail whatever credibility I have left by wish fulfillment booking Evolution 2,0 of Sheamus, Regal, Reigns, and Bo Dallas? Complete with a "You have MY spot," speech from Batista to Reigns after he turns and a Bo Dallas Belly-To-Belly hug on Orton as they expel him. This also leads to the Shield calling up Sami with a "We're an army, and armies can call in reinforcements" speech and a really awkward Shield/Orton vs Evolution 2.0 War Games. 

 

Also Sting. And guest host Martin Freeman, in full Fargo character.

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I would really like to hear a storyline explanation why Rusev isn't on Zeb Colter's deportation list.

The guy has taken up residence in Russia, openly endorses Vladimir Putin and doesn't seem to speak any English. What else does he have to do?

 

Maybe he immigrated here the right way ala Cesaro.

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