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APRIL WRESTLING DISCUSSION THREAD


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Yeah, what was I thinking?

 

In other news, apparently Bill Behrens is now taking indy bookings for Daniels and Kazarian,

 

They have to end up in Global Force right? I mean there's no chance of them ending up in WWE and they'd be a very positive signing for GFW.

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All wrestlers are fucking obsessed with Waffle House, Hooters and Buffalo Wild Wings like there are no other fucking places on Earth to eat after a show.
 

The ones I saw always went to Dennys, but then California has very few 24-hour places outside of the big cities.

 

My favorite thing about that SB Nation story is that when asked to name what US State they would buy - multiple wrestlers answered with a city.

Better than Rey-Rey answering "Definitely a ribeye".

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ROH announces they're going to be on actual PPV for $25 and the internet responds "I dunno man, that's like 2 1/2 months of the Network"

 

WWE officials must be over the moon happy with that.

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I've been looking at the relationship between wrestler ages and match quality which has led me to assemble lots of lists of wrestler birthdays.

Beyond the obvious (The Harris Boys! Gymini! The Bella Twins! The Usos!), here were some that I noticed:

3/30/1945: SD Jones & Ronnie Garvin

10/20/1958: Fit Finlay & Scott Hall

7/4/1960: Barry Windham & Sid Vicious

11/11/1963 Billy Gunn & Sam Houston

9/29/1970: Stacy Carter (The Kat) & Tajiri

2/10/1971: Louie Spicolli & Victoria

3/24/1982: Epico & Jack Swagger

I would support all of these tag teams.

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I've been looking at the relationship between wrestler ages and match quality which has led me to assemble lots of lists of wrestler birthdays.

Beyond the obvious (The Harris Boys! Gymini! The Bella Twins! The Usos!), here were some that I noticed:

3/30/1945: SD Jones & Ronnie Garvin

 

 

Mind blown.  Those were my two favorite wrestlers when I was a kid.

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JR was just dreadful the last few years of Austin. Whatever went on, he kept talking about Austin, and he sounded like Bobby Heenan circa Ric Flair WWF champ but in the least entertaining way possible, always complaining about it not being fair: "That's not RIGHT!" His commentary actually made me dislike Steve Austin because I was so sick of hearing JR drone on and on about him.  I don't think there's ever been a more biased announcer, honestly.

 

 

 NWO era Schiavone/Dusty, WWF Heenan and Ventura, WWECW era Tazz and Styles, heel Michael Cole, heel Jerry Lawler, TNA Tenay, and A&8 Tazz were all noticeably more biased just off the top of my head.

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You know, the Cole/JBL/JR booth from when Lawler was out recovering was really good.

 

JBL is wildly uneven these days.  You can tell whether or not he gives a damn about a match by his commentary though.  Because when he truly cares, he's incredible.  And when he doesn't...  Oh boy.

 

Rewatch Brock/Taker.  JBL is absolutely perfect calling it.  Heelish in that he knows Brock is going to win, but he doesn't want the streak to end.  Purely respectful to the match, and makes every bit of it seem like a big deal. 

 

(He also had easily the best line of the night with the line about the end of the attitude era after The Shield ran through the NAO.)

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JBL making the comment that Undertaker had been wrestling off his back for the previous 5 minutes or so made the match so much better, and was probably the most insightful storytelling from any announcer the whole night. But yeah... he does a lot more dopey shit these days than he used to.

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As a related note, for a match I didn't think much of when it happened, rewatching Brock/Taker and it's a lot better than I realized.  It was just so different than I expected it to be, that I think I judged it unfairly at the time.  Plus, you know, the "time froze" moment at the end when nothing in the world made sense anymore.

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Roman Reigns: Chipotle. Love Chipotle. Could eat Chipotle like three times a day, for sure. I do the burrito bowl, black beans. Sometimes some rice, depending on if I just worked out. Triple chicken. That sets everybody off. They're like, "Whaaat? Triplechicken?" Cheese, the corn salsa and a big ol' scoop of the guac.

Give this man the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

 

RIGHT NOW. 

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As a related note, for a match I didn't think much of when it happened, rewatching Brock/Taker and it's a lot better than I realized.  It was just so different than I expected it to be, that I think I judged it unfairly at the time.  Plus, you know, the "time froze" moment at the end when nothing in the world made sense anymore.

 

Looking back, it would've gotten a better reception if the build was consistent with the match. If they went with Brock laughing at Taker's "superpowers" and mind games the whole time, a match that was basically putting Taker out to pasture would've made a lot of sense. It still would've gotten the same WTF reaction because we've seen that story before too where Taker still wins.

 

Actually, the build to Lesnar/Taker was really weird looking back on it. It started with an open contract, which is like right out of "beginning storylines for dummies" and should be well beneath two guys of this caliber. Then Taker shows up, stabs Brock with a pen and puts him through a table, but this is never mentioned again. Maybe the stabbing was a bit un-PG. Then they both go off tv for a while and the build is basically one Heyman promo at a time. Next time they meet, Taker does the old druid/casket routine, which Brock stooges around for like it's the early 90s. This is also never mentioned again. The last week before the show, they do a spot where Lesnar gets the best of Taker and all of a sudden he's the biggest threat ever to the streak. The WM video package consists of that segment and clips of Heyman talking, most of which was entirely new material, not stuff taken from the promos during the build.

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I thought he was just covering for Taker being pretty wrecked for the whole second half of the match, trying to create some type of tension in a match that pretty much everyone thought was a foregone conclusion. It was made even better by him acting like he hated being right.

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JBL is wildly uneven these days.  You can tell whether or not he gives a damn about a match by his commentary though.  Because when he truly cares, he's incredible.  And when he doesn't...  Oh boy.

Can you come up with any examples of good matches that he diminished by obviously not caring about or bad matches that he made more watchable because he cared enough to give some incredible commentary?

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