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Third anxiety attack in a week last Friday while chilling with friends in a jacuzzi. Spent the rest of the weekend being extremely agoraphobic. Have an appointment with a doc for a week from today.

As someone who sufers from GAD, keep up with it.  It sucks, but you have to keep plugging at it.  Need a word, just drop me a line.  Shit's tough to live with.

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A big fuck you to me for yelling at the boss. I was at work and another driver came in and I said hi to him. The boss was in his office and looked up and asked if I was talking to him and out of nowhere I blurted out "I'm not talking to you bitch!" jokingly. A few minutes later I was in the office apologizing my ass off. I don't know where the fuck that came from.

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A big fuck you to me for yelling at the boss. I was at work and another driver came in and I said hi to him. The boss was in his office and looked up and asked if I was talking to him and out of nowhere I blurted out "I'm not talking to you bitch!" jokingly. A few minutes later I was in the office apologizing my ass off. I don't know where the fuck that came from.

 

If you worked for Vince you'd be getting a push right now. 

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Day 5 for my father-in-law in the hospital. Guy has been doped up and on a ventilator, and not only is he not improving, but he's not even trying... like he knows he's not dead and he's mad. If he wasn't sedated I'm sure he'd be forcing himself off the ventilator just so he can die.

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I told my old boss her attitude sucked so bad, she made me want to vomit.

During the exit interview from my last job, I told my manager that he sucked and then gave several examples of exactly why.  3 years later, he'd changed jobs (he has this awesome skill for looking really smart, moving fast, and making people think he's working hard without actually being any good at his job) and he ended up offering me a job.  I didn't take it but got a nice pay raise to stay at my then-current position.  Was nice that he didn't hold a grudge for me ripping him.

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Fuck you to cancer - just realised it was the anniversary of my Aunt and her Mother's passing today. I just broke down in the middle of the office once i realised what day it was.

 

So fuck you cancer - you fucking cunt.fuck you for taking away two of the biggest influences in my life.

 

Miss you lynn - miss you nana. you would have loved C.

 

Today and tomorrow are going to be fucking rough.

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Fuck you to cancer - just realised it was the anniversary of my Aunt and her Mother's passing today. I just broke down in the middle of the office once i realised what day it was.

 

So fuck you cancer - you fucking cunt.fuck you for taking away two of the biggest influences in my life.

 

Miss you lynn - miss you nana. you would have loved C.

 

Today and tomorrow are going to be fucking rough.

 

Best wishes, mate. Cancer fucking sucks.

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Fuck me for driving a car that is apparently invisible at a stop light.  Or, more realistically, fuck the person who couldn't see my car going through a not busy intersection, and decided she was good to turn left. 

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So, yeah, this isn't necessarily a f' you type post, but more of a f' my life type post. I haven't said anything about it before, but this has been going on since 9/11/2013 (how ironic, the same date that shook my entire foundation 12 years ago). I'm still deeply in love with my wife and yet, I'm probably losing her.

 

I uh, I just really hate life right now. I don't want to get divorced, I want to be able to rekindle the desire and passion we have for each other, and I'm doing everything I can, but she's such a stubborn soul that it's going to be up to her to make that decision and no matter what I do, I feel like I'm just going to be failing.

 

Maybe I'll post more at another time, but I needed to get this off my chest in some sort of forum. Seems like (mostly) faceless and nameless people I like chatting it up with are the best people to vent to because I can't even bring it up to my friends or family without breaking down.

 

I'm never going to meet anyone like her ever again. We've shared so much together and brought a child into this world. Without her I feel lost. It just sucks.

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You know, I came in here to give an FU about my drive to work, but after reading the last page and a half, I feel like my problems today are rather paltry. Best wishes to those of you who have lost and are in the process of losing meaningful things in life.

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So, yeah, this isn't necessarily a f' you type post, but more of a f' my life type post. I haven't said anything about it before, but this has been going on since 9/11/2013 (how ironic, the same date that shook my entire foundation 12 years ago). I'm still deeply in love with my wife and yet, I'm probably losing her.

 

I uh, I just really hate life right now. I don't want to get divorced, I want to be able to rekindle the desire and passion we have for each other, and I'm doing everything I can, but she's such a stubborn soul that it's going to be up to her to make that decision and no matter what I do, I feel like I'm just going to be failing.

 

Maybe I'll post more at another time, but I needed to get this off my chest in some sort of forum. Seems like (mostly) faceless and nameless people I like chatting it up with are the best people to vent to because I can't even bring it up to my friends or family without breaking down.

 

I'm never going to meet anyone like her ever again. We've shared so much together and brought a child into this world. Without her I feel lost. It just sucks.

Keep fighting if that's what you want.  Don't just accept it.  You just never know.

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