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Jesus Christ did Dave Schultz ever stiff the fuck out of Sags.

If Sags ever appears on Austin's podcaat I wonder if Austin'll ask about like he does everyone else.

Oh, wait....

Also RE the Tyson Raw: The moment after Austin tells Tyson "SHUT UP!" and there's this palpitable OOOOOOOOOOH from the crowd was amazing. I had forgotten.

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Backlash '09.

 

Christian v. Swagger was two really solid guys putting together a really solid match.  Swagger was pretty raw here, but part of me liked him better here than I like him now.  His press slam over the ringpost to the floor was a pretty sweet spot to put over his strength advantage, and he used a lot of amateur style takedowns as transitions that really fit his character well.  Now he is just a pretty good wrestler who hangs around his racist uncle, he needs to bring back some of those power moves and takedowns that set him apart from all the other power guys on the roster.  The finish was perfect, big dumb Swagger was making a show about taking the turnbuckle pad off, and clever little Christian was playing possum in the opposite corner sneakily taking off his own turnbuckle pad.  Swagger comes charging in to hit Christian with another big splash and Oklahoma Stampede, but Christian moves and Swagger eats the exposed turnbuckle.  One Killswitch later Christian is the new ECW champion. 

 

Chris Jericho v. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat was awesome, not ***** awesome, but this guy hasn't wrestled in 15 years, but had enough gas in his tank to put on a really fun match awesome.  I don't know the story behind this match, as I was on a wrestling sabbatical, but I'd like to shake the hand of whoever made this come about.  Steamboat could still hit a armdrag while skydiving in a warzone and taking fire from an Abrams tank, and Jericho seemed to be there to make sure Steamboat look as good as possible before he picked up the win.  This is everything a "one more match" should be, Dragon hitting all of his signature spots, and getting the crowd behind him until he is overcome by the younger guy and puts him over.  

 

Punk v. Kane was a match...that is really it.  I consider myself a Punk fan, but 2009 chubby Punk holding on the ropes to lightly kick Kane makes me understand why guys like FSW don't take him very seriously.  I know Kane is really tall, and roundhouse kicking him in the head is probably very difficult, but if that is the case he probably should have used different strikes.  If he is supposed to be a really good striker, he should have more in his arsenal right?  I've seen 25 better Punk matches, and while this wasn't bad, it was the weakest match yet.

 

Hardy v. Hardy in an I Quit Match...shouldn't you have a signature submission to have an I Quit match?  This was just a brawl that stopped every minute or two for the referee to interview a guy on the ground who was breathing heavy.  The best I Quit match of all time is the Funk v. Flair match where two of the best wrestlers of all time beat the shit out of each other and built the match to end with a submission.  Flair and Funk made you believe that they hated each other and would rather die than quit.  This was two guys doing contrived spots that didn't make me feel like they hated each other, it kind of made me think that they just really liked jumping off of stuff.  Flair and Funk never stopped beating the hell out of each other, if they used a weapon it was because it happened to be there when they got there, this was let me stop kicking this guy's ass to find something that would be cool looking to jump on.  It really slowed down the match and made it less exciting.

 

HHH/Batista/Shane v. Legacy could have been really good, except that it got kind of silly at the end.  The thing that really bothered me about this match, and the main even for that matter, is that if they wanted the belts on Orton and Edge, why did you have them lose at Wrestlemania?  What kind of sense does that make?  Orton usually bores me to tears, but he was the best part of this match and it kind of makes me want to go back and watch more Orton from this era.

 

Edge v. Cena was a pretty good match with two guys who just know how to work with each other.  They should never have an I Quit match and a Last Man Standing match on the same card.  They are just too similar, and they both have too many pauses in the action.  This is a much better version of a Last Man Standing match than the previous I Quit match because they were some really good spots that put over the hatred that the Hardy match lacked.  Cena chucking the stairs at Edge was such a hate-filled mean thing to do, and that is exactly why it was effective.  The top rope AA and the AA into the crowd were good examples of Cena going the extra mile to hurt a guy he hates, not just win a match.  Edge who had some of the least painful looking offense in the history of the business, decided to disregard a lot of his normal moves to just try to knock Cena flat the fuck out.  The Big Show interference sucked, they should have had Edge spear Cena into that spotlight, and barely make it out before the 10 count.  It would have made him look like a bigger deal, because he was willing to risk his own safety to hurt Cena, but maybe that is just me.  If these guys wrestled 100 times you'd probably get 100 three and a half to four and a half star matches, this was right in the four star range for me. 

 

Best Match:  Cena v. Edge, but I want to say Jericho v. Steamboat.

 

Top 5 so far.

Cena v. Edge

Jericho v. Steamboat

Awesome v. Tanaka

Christian v. Swagger

Storm v. Candido?

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Cesaro vs. Sami Zayne from NXT Arrival. First exposure to either guy, and first full blown wrestling match I've seen in about 10 years (outside of a Vader/Kobashi and Angle/Benjamin I watched on YouTube the other day). Like it a lot, about as swell of a reintroduction as I could have asked for.

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Also episodes 5 & 6.

It's interesting seeing all this build to WM 9, having only seen the event up to this point.

Same here. I ordered Mania 9 out of habit but as I was already well on my way out of wrestling by that point. It'd be the last ppv I ordered until Mania 13. I saw the Flair-Perfect match and Janetty-HBK (not sure if that ep is up yet as I'm only up to ep 4) on a comp from my tape trading days but never the whole shows.

Santana-Flair was a nice little match although sucks Tito never busted out his figure four.

Oh and he may be legendarily awful but Rob Bartlett beginning ep2 by ripping up a picture of Heenan and saying "Fight the real enemy" was pretty damn funny. Too bad his other 367 joked were terrible.

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Same with ep1. I wasn't checking obsessively but I don't recall seeing it specifically because I remember going to the page and noting ep2 was up but strangely not the first. Then again, it's bizarre they have 2-4 and then 7-9. Did nothing happen in those eps?

Oh and back to Bartlett, I forgot to mention how awesome it was when Heenan showed up and basically owned him left and right. I always knew Bobby was the man but now I see why so many old timers insist he could've been a super successful stand up comedian. When he was on, he was ON.

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Plus you could always tell when Savage was trying to joust because his voice would go down several notches.

His very dry sense of humor matched with his promo voice was the oddest mess of contradictions.

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Show #3 in WWE's 15 best Pay Per View countdown is Bash at the Beach 1996

 

Rey Mysterio Jr. v. Psychosis was awesome.  I think this is the 756 trillionth time they've wrestled, and you can tell Rey trusts that he could jump out of outer space and Psychosis would catch him.  He does about 46 versions of the hurricarana, an asai corkscrew moonsault, and debuted the space mountain hurricarana counter in WCW for the finish.  Psychosis not to be outdone hits his guillotine leg drop and a senton from the top rope to the floor, which made me think he was looking to get some paid time off.  This is about as good of an opening match as there has ever been, and this is just the tip of the iceberg for Rey matches on WWEN.  Rey Mysterio was 21 years old here, and already the best high flying wrestler in the world, he is my early favorite for worker of this project.

 

Tenta v. Big Bubba in a sock full of silver dollars on a pole match...Yep, this is WCW.  Who thought it was a good idea to get two guys over 350 lbs. to try to climb a pole.  This is just a big ol' waste of time.

 

DDP v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan in a taped fist match.  DDP wins with a Diamond Cutter, and Hacksaw cheapshots him after the match. 

 

There are some strange promos between these matches that I think I need to address.  Macho Man/Sting/Luger talk about the main event, Macho cuts a pretty good promo about not being concerned about the mystery partner because he'll just hurt him like anyone else, then Luger and Sting take over.  Luger starts talking and goes on about how he has a point to make and how he is about to make it, and then just says, "Actions speak louder than words."  Sting takes the unique tactic of basically explaining how he is shaking in his boots and has a chill in his spine and goosebumps all over, which makes him sound like a little bitch.  Kevin Sullivan cuts a pretty uneventful promo with the Giant, the most memorable thing about it is that Sullivan has shaved off his eyebrows and replaced them with lightning bolts.  Arn cuts a really good promo with Chris Benoit that should have started and ended with Arn talking and Benoit sinisterly staring at his fist, but they let Benoit talk and fucked the whole segment up.

 

The Nasty Boys v. Public Enemy in a dog collar match.  Public Enemy's entrance music is horrendous, and offends me as a fan of hip-hop.  We go to a split screen and Dusty gives us this gem, "If you look ta ya raght there ith thome cahnage goings on." Knobs beats Johnny Grunge with an inflatable shark, Rocko Rock does a flipping senton off of a lifeguard stand, and Sags piledrives Rock on the concrete.  The Nasty Boys came around a few years too early, they really would have been the best thing to happen to ECW, they are just so good at wild brawls.  Jerry Sags pulls Rocko Rock onto a table that gives no fucks about the health of Rocko's back.  Sags goes up to elbow drop Rock through the table, and it once again gives no fucks and Rock has to feel like he was just in a horrible car wreck.  Sags goes to whip Rock into the ropes with the chain and it gets wrapped around Rocko's ankle tripping him in a cringeworthy way.  Nasty's win and Public Enemy jump them after the bell finally putting Sags through the table of crippling death.  This was a garbage brawl, but a quality one.

 

Disco Inferno v. Dean Malenko and Malenko looks pissed.  Apparently Disco interfered in a Malenko match on Nitro, and Malenko took it personally.  He comes in and starts to kick the shit out of Disco making Dusty say, "Ya know, when Malenko was young, he musta really hate ta dance."  This is simple storytelling, a goofball interfered with a contract killers business and now there is hell to pay.  This is probably the last time the WCW announce team gives a fuck about the undercard, when Disco finally puts up a fight, they pop like he actually has a chance.  Malenko kicks more ass, and locks in a submission until Disco comically gets his foot to the ropes.  Disco makes a comeback, but Malenko counters his backslide into a tiger driver and Texas Cloverleaf.  This was Malenko being bad ass, Disco being a goof, and pretty damn good.

 

Joe Gomez v. Mongo McMichael...I'll be going to get a snack.  You know chips and salsa are a lot like a good wrestling match, they can be really bland, like this match, or really good like these chips and salsa.  This is a PPV match, Joe Gomez and Steve "Mongo" McMichael...life is too short for this shit.

 

Ric Flair interview, with Elizabeth and Woman.  Woman is making Mean Gene very uncomfortable, thinking about Elizabeth and Woman make me uncomfortable.

 

Konan v. Ric Flair and Konan comes to the ring looking like Cap'n Crunch raped the Ultimate Warrior.  Woman's dress is very low-cut and I'm finding it very hard not to go sight seeing in the city of Cleveland.  Tony gives Flair a compliment that would probably make Flair slap him if he heard it, "They say Ric Flair can get on the Stairmaster, and go AAAAALLLLLLLLL Day."  Konan teases a dive until he falls off of the top rope after Woman shakes the bottom rope.  Flair does not give a fuck, he is really just going from spot to spot and clowning around.  In the least subtle called spot of all time, Flair tells Konan to put him in the figure four he might as well as shouted it at him.  Flair climbs the top rope slowly, just not slowly enough for Konan to get up so he has to wait until Konan gets with the program and bodyslams him off the top.  Konan refuses to get into position for Woman's interference so Flair just walks away and talks to the referee.  Woman hits him with the shoe, and finishes with his feet on the ropes.  Konan sucks, Flair didn't care, and this was pretty bad.

 

Arn/Benoit v. Sullivan/Giant, and Kevin Sullivan is getting his ass kicked until Sullivan does the worst slingshot and backdrop I've ever seen to tag in the Giant.  Sullivan and Benoit brawl down the aisle onto the announce platform, and Giant chokeslams Arn.  Benoit kicks Sullivan's ass while Giant casually walks by on his way back to the locker room. 

 

Macho Man/Lex Luger/Sting v. The Outsiders without their mystery partner.  Luger somehow gets knocked out cold within the first 10 seconds despite taking the tamest bump of the night.  Nash almost cripples Macho Man with a botched elbow drop.  The announcers are really putting over how much this match matters.  Sting is face and peril, until he tags Macho Man and he cleans house.  Nash hits him low, and Hulk Hogan makes his way down the aisle and the crowd goes wild...until the Legdrop hear around the world.  The fans are filling the ring with trash, this is one of the biggest moments in the history of wrestling and it was totally unexpected at the time.

 

Best match:  Mysterio v. Psycosis

 

Top five so far

  1. Mysterio v. Psycosis
  2. Cena v. Edge
  3. Jericho v. Steamboat
  4. Awesome v. Tanaka
  5. Malenko v. Disco

Next up:  Extreme Rules 2012

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Cesaro vs. Sami Zayne from NXT Arrival. First exposure to either guy, and first full blown wrestling match I've seen in about 10 years (outside of a Vader/Kobashi and Angle/Benjamin I watched on YouTube the other day). Like it a lot, about as swell of a reintroduction as I could have asked for.

 

Now go back and watch the entirety of the feud on hulu. 

 

Also, neither here nor there but Angle vs Benjamin is probably endlessly streaming in my own personal hell.

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Cesaro vs. Sami Zayne from NXT Arrival. First exposure to either guy, and first full blown wrestling match I've seen in about 10 years (outside of a Vader/Kobashi and Angle/Benjamin I watched on YouTube the other day). Like it a lot, about as swell of a reintroduction as I could have asked for.

 

Now go back and watch the entirety of the feud on hulu. 

 

Also, neither here nor there but Angle vs Benjamin is probably endlessly streaming in my own personal hell.

 

 

Ha, I loved Angle/Benjamin, but from another post of yours I take it that Angle, and probably Benjamin as well, doesn't do much for you.

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Same with ep1. I wasn't checking obsessively but I don't recall seeing it specifically because I remember going to the page and noting ep2 was up but strangely not the first. Then again, it's bizarre they have 2-4 and then 7-9. Did nothing happen in those eps?

Oh and back to Bartlett, I forgot to mention how awesome it was when Heenan showed up and basically owned him left and right. I always knew Bobby was the man but now I see why so many old timers insist he could've been a super successful stand up comedian. When he was on, he was ON.

Episode 1 was definitely up because I watched it. The main event was Undertaker vs Damian Demanto, and Bobby Heenan spent the show outside unable to talk his way into the solid out Manhattan Centre. Odd and a little disappointing that they have taken it down.

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The Jimmy Valiant/Paul Jones tuxedo match from Starrcade 84 is so simple and so brilliant. I won't ruin it for anybody, but you should definitely check it out.

 

As a matter of fact, the Starrcade 83 and 84 undercards are chock full of randomness including Mike Davis (of GWF fame) and Brian Adidas, before he let himself go.

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