Reed Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Tarantino in Django Unchained is pretty awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincey Greene Posted January 31, 2014 Author Share Posted January 31, 2014 Tarantino in Django Unchained is pretty awful. And in Pulp Fiction, and I assume in Sukiyaki Western Django.... Although my brother and I constantly say "you don't have to tell me how good my fucking coffee tastes" to each other. So there's that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elsalvajeloco Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I saw that we have the inverse of this topic, and it immediately made me think of... Bill Paxton, Aliens. Holy fuck. Is it even acting? Goddamn. Such a great movie, such a dreadful performance. Almost ruins it. Almost. Whatcha'll got? Repeat this entire post but replace the word Aliens with Tombstone, and it would still be 100% true. I love me some Tombstone, but 80% of that movie is terrible acting. The whole rain scene in Tombstone makes my skin crawl. That alone puts Wyatt Earp over Tombstone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reed Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I didn't think Tarantino was bad in Pulp Fiction, actually. But his attempt an Australian accent in Django was awful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niners Fan in CT Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Tombstone had Val Kilmer. Tombstone wins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elsalvajeloco Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 Tombstone had Val Kilmer. Tombstone wins. The Huckleberry line is cool and all, but he said it 29 times. I didn't think Tarantino was bad in Pulp Fiction, actually. But his attempt an Australian accent in Django was awful. I was going to bring that up since I did it in the other Movie Comment thread when the film came out, but I figured people would say he was being bad on purpose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazlo Woodbine Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Tombstone had Val Kilmer. Tombstone wins. Quaid was 10 times the Doc Holliday that Kilmer was. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MADCAP Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 You didn't like Paxton in Aliens??? Fuck you guys. Hudson made that movie. You get stranded on an alien planet, surrounded by Xenomorphs and see how brave you are. He was the perfect chicken shit. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hooks Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Tombstone had Val Kilmer. Tombstone wins. Quaid was 10 times the Doc Holliday that Kilmer was. You're writing in a foreign language and I can't understand a word you're saying. As for the rest of the movie, I will step out in the street and fight to the death with anyone who besmirches the name of Kurt Russell in any way. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niners Fan in CT Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Tombstone had Val Kilmer. Tombstone wins. Quaid was 10 times the Doc Holliday that Kilmer was. You're writing in a foreign language and I can't understand a word you're saying. As for the rest of the movie, I will step out in the street and fight to the death with anyone who besmirches the name of Kurt Russell in any way. Don't mind him! He's just drunk, that's all. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MADCAP Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Comedian Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Quaid and Kilmer were both great Doc Hollidays... but only one was in a movie that cared enough to cast Powers Booth, Michael Biehn, and Stephen Lang as the bad guys... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Quaid and Kilmer were both great Doc Hollidays... but only one was in a movie that cared enough to cast Powers Booth, Michael Biehn, and Stephen Lang as the bad guys... Not to mention Thomas Haden Church and Billy Bob Thornton! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fat Spanish Waiter Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Brad Pitt just ruined 12 Years a Slave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebbie Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Fuck you, I love the concept of the 13 Ghost move that came out in 2001. But Christ Almighty and everything else, I never wanted to see so many living people in a horror movie die. All of the living people needed to be killed ASAP. Especially the maid. Fuck her with the Jackal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elsalvajeloco Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 As much as love Platoon, Anthony Quinn's son (who played Rhah in the movie) is just so bad and over-the-top. He also said Barnes in a weird way everytime (BURNZ AIN'T MEANT TO DIE! THE ONLY THANG CAN KILL BURNESAH IZ BURNES!). For some reason, it works because of how crazy and evil the Sgt. Barnes character is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antacular Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Nothing is bad about Platoon. Nothing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elsalvajeloco Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 Nothing is bad about Platoon. Nothing. EAZY BARNS! EASY MAN DON'T DEW IT! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antacular Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 When you and Charlie are eyeball to eyeball, you're bound to be unhinged. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reed Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Andie McDowell in Four Wedding and a Funeral. The significant problem in that movie is that focuses on the least interesting, and worst-acted, character by far. I kept begging for Hugh Grant to end up with anyone but her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincey Greene Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 Andie McDowell in Four Wedding and a Funeral. The significant problem in that movie is that focuses on the least interesting, and worst-acted, character by far. I kept begging for Hugh Grant to end up with anyone but her. She was no great shakes in Groundhog Day, either, but not bad enough to derail the film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingus Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I saw that we have the inverse of this topic, and it immediately made me think of... Bill Paxton, Aliens. Holy fuck. Is it even acting? Goddamn. Such a great movie, such a dreadful performance. Almost ruins it. Almost. Whatcha'll got? Repeat this entire post but replace the word Aliens with Tombstone, and it would still be 100% true. Why Tombstone? He stood out the LEAST in that cast, putting in by far the most subdued performance. Russell, Elliott, Kilmer, Biehn, and Boothe all blew him off the screen. As for Aliens, well: I've known guys exactly like that. EXACTLY like that. That's not a bad performance, that's an incredibly true one. If you hate that character, blame the script, not the actor. Katie Holmes in Batman Begins may very well have been the least convincing assistant DA in movie history. Yet still somehow better than Maggie Gyllenhaal. They were both fine, except for being way too cute for the part (and was Rachel Dawes even IN the comics, ever?). I've never understood the people who claim Gyllenhaal is ugly or untalented; if you really believe that, then your standards for beauty and talent are WAY too unrealistically high. Denise Richards in Starship Troopers. EVERYONE in Starship Troopers except for Michael Ironsides and Clancy Brown were fucking terrible. Even normal stalwarts like Neil Patrick Harris seemed to be phoning it in. Which, as mentioned, did actually help to get the movie's point across and make it better overall. Mark Hamill in Star Wars. C'mon, you know it's true. Hell yes. I remember going to the special edition re-release with a bunch of my actor friends, right after we got done with a play. And we were LAUGHING OUR ASSES OFF at how bad much of the acting in A New Hope is. Luke, his foster parents, most of the random Imperials, all more wooden than the sets. To everyone who screamed about how awful Anakin was in the prequels, I say that Luke was damn near as bad, a wooden block of clumsily-recited cliches. Michael Madsen in Sin City. Huh? Why? He was pretty much just doing the standard Michael Madsen Routine, and he was only in the movie for like two minutes. Keanu Reeves in Much Ado About Nothing. Dear Lord, was he awful in that. It's like eating a nice apple, then finding a dead fruit fly in the core. Yeah, but at least (unlike Michael Keaton) he didn't do his lines in some weird pirate voice. Reeves just has no idea how to speak verse. Some people simply cannot do it, and he seems to be one of them. Iambic pentameter is hard. But if you watch his body language in that part (especially his little dance of celebration when he's escaping after the failed wedding) then you understand why he was cast. Well, maybe not understand why he was cast as a black guy's biological brother, but nevermind. In fact, I'd argue he plays the part more forcefully and as a more threatening villain than Sean Maher does in Joss Whedon's otherwise-vastly-superior masterpiece adaptation of the same play. Nobody would argue that Reeves talks better than Maher, but sometimes (even in Shakespeare) it ain't all about the talking. As for Michael Keaton: well, he seems to do a similar gravelly voice every time he's got a "weird" character, whether it's Beetlejuice or Batman or Dogberry or whoever. His portrayal was WAY over the top in MAaN, but I think that was on purpose; go to Rotten Tomatoes and just read the sheer number of critics who fawned over him in that movie. Sometimes scene-stealing actually works. Keaton took one look at the cast, realized he had no shot of doing this part in a standard Elizabethan manner when he's on the same screen with Richard Briers, and just decided to make the character into some kinda sewer mutant in order to be different. Kate Capshaw in Temple of Doom. I know its super obvious, it needs to be in this thread. I thought this was "Great Movies". Temple of Doom is the worst entry in the franchise. Hell yes, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (a perfectly tolerable, not-terrible movie) is much better than Temple of Doom. Better cast, better effects, better villain, much less pointlessly gross/dark shit, Macguffins that actually DO something instead of just sitting there mysteriously, infinitely better love interest, and infinitely less racism. Still, it's not quiiiite great enough to nominate Shia's part (admittedly a dark cloud on Crystal Skull which I will never make any attempt to defend). Continued in a moment... hey, come to think of it, does this new board have the same quote-box quota limits that the old one did? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elsalvajeloco Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 They were both fine, except for being way too cute for the part (and was Rachel Dawes even IN the comics, ever?). I've never understood the people who claim Gyllenhaal is ugly or untalented; if you really believe that, then your standards for beauty and talent are WAY too unrealistically high. Really? Really? Is this a girl empowerment board? GTFO You can have Maggie "Jack-o-Lantern Face" Gyllenhaal. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingus Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Fuck you, I love the concept of the 13 Ghost move that came out in 2001. But Christ Almighty and everything else, I never wanted to see so many living people in a horror movie die. All of the living people needed to be killed ASAP. Especially the maid. Fuck her with the Jackal 13 Ghosts indeed had some interesting concepts, and then botched every single one of them in an unbelievable train-wreck of good ideas turned bad and bad ideas turned worse. And yes, the acting was godawful. I wasn't exactly expecting anything great out of Matthew Lilliard or Shannon Elizabeth or Rah Digga, but who stole Tony Shalhoub and Embeth Davidtz and F. Murray Abraham's collective mojos for the duration of the shoot? And now, for my own choices: -Kate Winslet may be my favorite actress ever. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind might be my favorite movie ever. And 98% of the time, oh my GOD is she amazing in that movie. But that other two percent! When she drones out the line "I'VE. NEVER. SEEN. YOU. HAPPIER. BABY. JOEL." in the sink, it's one of the worst readings I've ever heard her do. And I managed to finish The Life of David Gale. -This next one might be blasphemy, and it's not remotely fair to call it "terrible", but: Toshiro Mifune in Seven Samurai. What the hell is that guy DOING half the time?! It's like he decided he's playing a drunk monkey rather than a human being. It stands out even more in contrast to his much more subtle costars and Mifune's typically subdued work in other movies. I feel like this about the same way the first post felt about Private Hudson, I dunno if it should even be called "acting", it's more like performance art. -Aliens does indeed have some bad acting, but it's not Bill Paxton or even Newt: it's the adults in that awful, awful deleted scene at the colony on LV426 before the aliens invade. That entire scene is SO much worse than the rest of the film that this one is like shooting facehuggers in an egg, but the bad acting there is truly mesmerizing. -Speaking of which: every single French loser in the deleted plantation sceeeeeeeeeeene (it goes on forever) that got stuck back into Apocalypse Now Redux. Protip: make sure your actors can actually SPEAK the language that their dialogue is written in. Cuz these dudes couldn't. Sometimes even the subtitles just quietly go dark and have no guess as to what the hell these Gallic mumblers are babbling. -All the comic relief in every Universal horror classic from the 1930s. Bride of Frankenstein and Dracula were half ruined by that shit. They weren't funny, they weren't believable, they were just unpainted clowns who might as well have been wearing signs that say "PLEASE laugh at us!". -Half the cast in Clerks. Which probably shouldn't be mentioned, considering it was a microbudget indy flick which couldn't afford to cast real actors. But especially Kevin Smith's sister when she fumbles the line about masturbating animals at the zoo. -Half the cast in Avatar. Sam Worthington is a terrible action hero (although he oddly improves once he's no longer a human and is playing a cat-smurf instead), all the indigenous male Navi were damn boring, and Michelle Rodriguez and Giovanni Ribisi barely even looked awake. Admittedly, I'd be peeved too if James Cameron wasn't letting me change his clunky dialogue and forcing me to speak it the way he wrote it. Sigourney Weaver, Joel David Moore, the female cat-smurfs, and of course Stephen Lang were the only ones who figured out what they were doing. -William Sanderson in Blade Runner. And it's tragic, cuz I usually love that guy. No, wait, I did like ONE of his lines: when he's calling out chess moves to Tyrell, and adds an uncertain "Checkmate... I think" at the end. But otherwise, he never once convinced me that his character was a real guy. -The psychiatrist who explains Norman at the end of Psycho. Admittedly, that's partly due to horrible lines. But still, it sucks. (And how come NOBODY noticed that this was one of the few parts that the remake actually trimmed? Critic after critic whined about Robert Forster sucking in that part just like the original, but the speech had literally been cut down by more than half!) -Mary Elizabeth Winstead in Scott Pilgrim vs the World. She's supposed to be mysterious and sexy and distant and alluring, but to me she comes off as shitty and icy and self-centered and uncommunicative and bored and boring. The movie never once convinced me that she was worth having, even for a loser like Scott. Especially since they've got the INFINITELY more lovable Knives Chau sitting right there, this is one of the few movies where the alternate ending was far superior to the real one. -Halle Berry in every single X-Men movie, regardless of its individual quality. She wasn't even trying; hell, I'm not completely certain that she wasn't even breathing. And then they reward the bitch by making her Team Leader, which is just yer another reason why X-Men III: The Last Stand is by FAR the worst entry in the franchise. -Edward Furlong in Terminator 2. Nuff said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingus Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Really? Yep. Is this a girl empowerment board? It sure as hell is when I'm around. GTFO Nope. You can have Maggie "Jack-o-Lantern Face" Gyllenhaal. GLADLY. Have you not seen Secretary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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