Dexter: The Final Season

[EVA]

She carried this season of the show like fruit bats carry the ebola virus.

[piranesi]

I hate you all.

[stiffshots]

Dexter is now at the same point Nip/Tuck was after they wrote out the Eden Lord character: I'll watch it to the bitter end out of a sense of...duty?...but holy shit, put this puppy to sleep already.

[Newb82]

Judging from this thread, the only thing that's gone further off the rails than this show are the DEXTER novels.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

This show is ending like Lost.

[piranesi]

This show is ending like Lost.

 

It does seem like it's going to end at an airport.

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

It's going to end with people praising it because they're going to do something DIFFERENT AND STRANGE.

 

No Doakes it seems, which is embarrassing for all.

[ultimoDANK]

They have wasted so much time with people I really, really don't care about.

It's terribleness is compounded by watching this after watching the newest Breaking Bad.

[Petey]

It's going to end with people praising it because they're going to do something DIFFERENT AND STRANGE.

 

No Doakes it seems, which is embarrassing for all.

No it's not. This show is long past the point of people praising it. I was watching it last night and said multiple times, "this show is so dumb." Hannah McKay waltzing into a hospital after having her face plastered all over Miami as one of the city's most wanted is almost as ridiculous as Abu Nazir, biggest terrorist in the land, going shopping at your friendly local neighborhood convenient store.

[Territorial]

Judging from this thread, the only thing that's gone further off the rails than this show are the DEXTER novels.

 

Lol, after I read this, I looked up the plot summaries of some of the Dexter novels on Wikipedia.  God, I hope those plots are made up,  If not, the book series has taken some awful directions.

 

Did the third book really establish that the Dark Passenger is, in fact, a demon possessing Dexter?  That's really absurd.

[nofuture]

Pretty much gave up watching this season, but if this scene is any indication, I made the right choice:

 

[EVA]

That was the worst part! Not only did they have Hannah stupidly expose herself at the hospital, but the shitass writers couldn't even come up with a good reason for it, so they just went with Deus Ex Treadmill.

Couldn't believe what I was seeing.

[piranesi]

GUYS, MASUKA'S DAUGHTER IS SMOKING TOO MUCH WEED!!!!!!!

[piranesi]

Guys, I was kidding before bout Masuka's daughter.  I mean it's a problem and all but I think they can figure that out.  She's just kind of a free spirit.  Man, they need a season 9 for this though.

 

But I'm serious now, though:

 

Guys...Quinn and Deb are going to try and make this work.  Is anyone else working on a Tumblr montage about this?  Sometimes doing that helps you to remember things about them together.

[piranesi]

I'm also worried about Angel's sister.  I mean, she has a good job offer in Atlanta.  But that's a big adjustment for someone who's never really lived on her own.  I know there's still two episodes left to work through it but still.

[Petey]

Piranesi has won the internet for the day.

[piranesi]

So many moments in this episode should have meant so much more...but they're happening amidst a plot that is so absurd that I can't feel the emotional impact.

 

- How are they trapped in Miami?  There are two guys looking for Hannah, and they have a fucking boat.  They could take that boat to almost any other city along the coast and then drive or fly wherever they want.

 

- How can a US Marshall whose only job is to find a woman...a woman staying in a house where he knows she is staying...manage to just not be around any of the multiple times she's coming and going, lounging on the porch, or cooking in clear view of the beach?

 

- Why would Saxon, seeing that he's now wanted, immediately go to Dexter's apartment (which as far as he would know is empty anyway) rather than just leave and regroup?  It goes against everythign they've actually created in that character...and the idea that Dexter knew he would do that because there's some sort of killer's logic that they both have to follow.  To the point where he would go there IMMEDIATELY like a robot.

 

- How is the US Marshall unaware of a massive manhunt for a serial killer happening in the very department where he's hanging out half the day?

 

 

But the worst of it all, is that the biggest actual "problem" that the show needed to solve in order to end Dexter's story, the most unique thing about imagining the ending, was that he was a psychopath.  No matter what happened, he was always going to be a psychopath.  It wasn't just "will he get away or not" but "how can we leave his story behind when his story can not end until he is dead or in prison?"

 

Their solution?  "Hey...I'm all better now!  I don't even, like, want to kill.  Man...what was I thinking?  It's weird right?  Boy, was I high or what?"

 

Fuck that.  They punted on the most interesting part of the show.  There are dozens of "will he get caught/killed or not" shows.  The whole thing that made this one special was that "getting caught/killed" was only part of the problem of ending a show about a compulsion that was total and unending.  They also had to contend with how to "end" a story that can't "end."  From a writing standpoint, that is a huge challenge...and early on I was looking forward to how they would make that work.

 

But I guess he was fixed by love.  So...fuck.

 

Imagine, if you had just watched the awesome first season of this show, and you asked aloud "Man, I wonder how they are going to end this whole thing some day?"  And I appeared in the guise of the Great Gazoo and said:

 

 

He's going to be cured by love!!!!!!!!

 

Imagine that...how implausible that would be.  How much you would then never trust anything the Great Gazoo told you because he was obviously incompetent or misinformed.

 

But he was right, wasn't he?  The fucking Great Gazoo was right about this.  That means he's right about everything. 

 

Think about that.

[EVA]

I feel so sad knowing that your'e trapped in this vicious cycle of watching DEXTER while BREAKING BAD is devouring TV's soul at the exact same time. Literally, this time two weeks from now, TV will just stop, and you'll be like, "Why is there no more TV?" And then someone will have to tell you, "Um, because Breaking Bad, obviously." And you'll have to admit, "Oh, I was watching Dexter during that."

You will then be sent to Belize.

[piranesi]

Ugh.  Don't remind me.  My wife and I are still back in season 2 of BREAKING BAD.

 

The good is that I will now get to enjoy it while everyone else is bummed that it's over.  The bad is that it will take forever because my wife keeps begging off because it's too fucking depressing.  But I'm stuck. 

 

This is a conjugal obligation not to watch ahead.

[EVA]

Pfft. I refer you to King Joffrey on the soft hearts of women.

[Casey]

I feel so sad knowing that your'e trapped in this vicious cycle of watching DEXTER while BREAKING BAD is devouring TV's soul at the exact same time. Literally, this time two weeks from now, TV will just stop, and you'll be like, "Why is there no more TV?" And then someone will have to tell you, "Um, because Breaking Bad, obviously." And you'll have to admit, "Oh, I was watching Dexter during that."You will then be sent to Belize.

The joke is on you! Dexter ends next week, Breaking Bad ends in two!

[AlfredoE]

Lem always dies!!! As soon as I see him on a TV show, I just figure he's a goner!

[Fat Spanish Waiter]

Hahahahaha such a dogshit awful show. Doakes would have ended this in the third season if not for that worthless fool Lyla.

[Petey]

Season One should have been the final season. I don't mean that it should have been the only season, but it should have been the last rather than the first. Dexter finally meets his psychological equal, turns out he had a brother the whole time, blah blah blah. And really, this show probably should only have been 4-5 seasons anyway.

[Petey]

BTW, that episode wasn't very good.