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Royal Rumble Predictions


goodhelmet

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Rumble match is gonna be a disaster for WWE if they go through with Batista winning. Dude got a lukewarm enough reaction in front of a pretty casual RAW crowd on Monday. Royal Rumble crowds are always smarky and I doubt this one will be any different. They're gonna shit on the ending so bad if Bryan (or Punk, I guess) don't win.

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Hey, both Usos made it this year.  Usually it's just an Uso.

 

Did the rumble really need Xavier fucking Woods in it...

He probably stole Brodus Clay's spot.

 

On wwe.com, they have 20 guys listed as confirmed. There aren't going to be 10 big surprises, so I think there is more than enough room for one giant dude. 

The Yeti!

 

Guys, this is the year.  Picture it with the eye in your mind, if you will.  The Rhodes Boys are struggling with The Yeti.  Reigns just tossed an Uso.  Batista is sitting in a corner sucking wind.  Ambrose and Rollins are beating down Punk in another corner.  The countdown for #30 hits and it's...

BUNKHOUSE BUCK!

 

He hits the ring and kicks Goldust in the dick and over the top.  He punches Cody in the dick and he goes over the top.  He kicks The Yeti in the dick and while he's teetering over the top, Meng pulls him over and Tongan Death Grips him on the floor.  Rollins grabs Buck from behind and Ambrose goes to hit him but Buck moves and Ambrose knocks Rollins over the top.  Buck kicks Ambrose in the dick and he goes flying over the top.  Batista gets up and starts shaking them ropes.  Buck starts shaking them fists and then punches Batista in the dick and throws him over the top.  Reigns goes for the Superman punch but Buck moves and Meng pulls down the top rope and Reigns goes flying over the top.  Punk charges after Buck with a knee but Buck straight punches him in the dick and then kicks him in the head and Punk goes over the top.  The Colonel proudly points to the WrestleMania sign.  Bunkhouse Buck's going to WrestleMania!

 

SUMMER WINTER OF BUNK 2014!

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Hey, both Usos made it this year.  Usually it's just an Uso.

 

Did the rumble really need Xavier fucking Woods in it...

He probably stole Brodus Clay's spot.

 

On wwe.com, they have 20 guys listed as confirmed. There aren't going to be 10 big surprises, so I think there is more than enough room for one giant dude. 

The Yeti!

 

Guys, this is the year.  Picture it with the eye in your mind, if you will.  The Rhodes Boys are struggling with The Yeti.  Reigns just tossed an Uso.  Batista is sitting in a corner sucking wind.  Ambrose and Rollins are beating down Punk in another corner.  The countdown for #30 hits and it's...

BUNKHOUSE BUCK!

 

He hits the ring and kicks Goldust in the dick and over the top.  He punches Cody in the dick and he goes over the top.  He kicks The Yeti in the dick and while he's teetering over the top, Meng pulls him over and Tongan Death Grips him on the floor.  Rollins grabs Buck from behind and Ambrose goes to hit him but Buck moves and Ambrose knocks Rollins over the top.  Buck kicks Ambrose in the dick and he goes flying over the top.  Batista gets up and starts shaking them ropes.  Buck starts shaking them fists and then punches Batista in the dick and throws him over the top.  Reigns goes for the Superman punch but Buck moves and Meng pulls down the top rope and Reigns goes flying over the top.  Punk charges after Buck with a knee but Buck straight punches him in the dick and then kicks him in the head and Punk goes over the top.  The Colonel proudly points to the WrestleMania sign.  Bunkhouse Buck's going to WrestleMania!

 

SUMMER WINTER OF BUNK 2014!

Like this, but needs a Vince's Hobo Army tie-in.

I would like to see The Wyatt Family take out a minor RR entrant, just to get DBryan in for an arcane purpose of Bray's twisted mind.

OR Bray (with assistance) destroys DB in their match, but Bryan gets into the Rumble at #5 and takes out Rowan & Harper, leaving Batista, Reigns, Cesaro, Del Rio, Big E and DB. 

I miss the days of the super complex weaving of angles in and around the Rumble that the mighty Pat Patterson used to book.

go banana,

RAF

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Who's actually medically cleared to come back? Sheamus & Christian? If Jericho is in Pittsburgh you can almost guarantee him showing up. I don't think we'll ever see Bourne again, hasn't he been waiting to come back for ages? I don't even know what happened to RVD since his recent comeback, did he get fired again or just a part timer now? So Sheamus, Christian and Jericho = 28, but could take out a few nobodies for any other surprises.

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Rumble match is gonna be a disaster for WWE if they go through with Batista winning. Dude got a lukewarm enough reaction in front of a pretty casual RAW crowd on Monday. 

 

It didn't help that his BIG RETURN was on the tail end of a promo about stocks and money with Blandy Orton with a talking point that ended in DEAL WITH IT. 

 

GUYS BLANDY ORTON RIGHT? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

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Full announced list of the 25 Rumble participants:

Batista

C.M. Punk

Alberto Del Rio

Big E Langston

The Miz

R-Truth

Xavier Woods

Kofi Kingston

Goldust

Cody Rhodes

Fandango

Rey Mysterio

Seth Rollins

Roman Reigns

Dean Ambrose

Damien Sandow

Luke Harper

Erick Rowan

Jimmy Uso

Jey Uso

Titus O'Neil

Darren Young

Jack Swagger

Antonio Cesaro

Ryback

 

Sheamus, RVD, Jericho, Christian, Jake Roberts are all contenders for the last 5 "surprise" entrants. Looks like no room for Bryan.

 

Just because I was bored - I looked at the folks still on the WWE roster page - ignoring the folks that we know are doing something (Ortona, Cena, etc...) and ignoring the NXT fodder the people out in the cold are

 

Bad News Barrett
The Matadores
Brodus Clay
Great Khali
Curtis Axel
David Otunga
All of 3MB
Dolph Ziggler
New Age Outlaws (since they now are on the website and the Rhodes are doing double duty...)
Santino
Sin Cara
Tensai
Zack Ryder
 
And that is ignoring injured guys who could return (like Sheamus) - and some of these guys might be injured. I don't remember (Like is Ziggler still concussed?)

This really should have been the year they did the 40 guys.

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Full announced list of the 25 Rumble participants:

Batista

C.M. Punk

Alberto Del Rio

Big E Langston

The Miz

R-Truth

Xavier Woods

Kofi Kingston

Goldust

Cody Rhodes

Fandango

Rey Mysterio

Seth Rollins

Roman Reigns

Dean Ambrose

Damien Sandow

Luke Harper

Erick Rowan

Jimmy Uso

Jey Uso

Titus O'Neil

Darren Young

Jack Swagger

Antonio Cesaro

Ryback

Sheamus, RVD, Jericho, Christian, Jake Roberts are all contenders for the last 5 "surprise" entrants. Looks like no room for Bryan.

Has there ever been a Rumble roster this weak? There are literally only two guys (Punk and Batista) I can realistically see winning.

I guess one could argue Reigns is a threat. I can see him in the final four, but he ain't winning.

Forget what you think of whether or not he should go on to headline Wrestlemania, but shit, they need Bryan in the match to add a little intrigue if nothing else.

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Yeah unless they are planning on strapping a rocket to Reigns, Langston or maybe Ambrose. Punk and Batista are the only possible winners. I'm gonna pick Bryan as the winner, he pulls one over the Authority (who will screw Punk near the end almost for certain) any other outcome just doesn't make sense.

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Reigns vs Brock seems like a train wreck, if Brock does indeed win the title and take it to WM. However, we have yet  to have The Shield be a threat to the world title. That could be interesting. 

 

Big E. is certainly a possibility as well, maybe he makes it to the final 4.

 

And never doubt the WWE's ability to do something completely dumb, like having Ryback win it a year late.

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Put my name in the Bryan is gonna win it hat. Yeah it wasnt made clear on Monday hopefully Kane announces it on Smackdown or shit maybe they do something at the Rumble where Bray-Bryan are the first match Bryan wins the match but Bray badly injures Bryans ribs and in a backstage segment Kane tells D-Bry that he will be the first entrant in the Rumble and wins the Rumble "hurt" ribs and all. 

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I think the distinct lack of suspense in the Rumble winner could be due in part to the unification of the belts. It seemed like in past years each belt had their own unique set of challengers who were big deals, viable contenders, etc and now they don't have that. If the belts were still split guys like Rey, Del Rio, Langston, Reigns, etc could be considered as threats to win the Rumble because they could challenge for the lesser WHC and still let WWE do whatever they want with the WWE Championship while still honoring the stipulation of the Rumble.

 

I'd love it if they redid the 1994 Bret Hart story with Bryan, have him get seriously injured during his match with Wyatt, have a no show on 2 in the Rumble to build suspense and then have him drag himself down to a huge pop in the middle of the match and win (hopefully by himself).

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