Jump to content
DVDVR Message Board

Recommended Posts

OK, let's see how we can SyFy this sucker up for a pitch meeting.

 

 

So we're going to round out our cast.  We need some combo of mix, we'll need a female, someone from the 80's, a former pop singer, maybe someone who had a few good movies to their credit but have fallen on hard times and is really slummin' it.

 

 

Stone Cold Steve Austin and Ralph Macchio are two Texas Rangers on patrol when they get an emergency call from a dude ranch for orphans run by Amy Grant.  They discover an horde of PED Rat Men rampaging in the area, part of a military super weapon program run by Peter Fonda that got loose and are now trying to cover it up.  We'll have a running gag of Macchio constantly being seen waxing their truck.  Stone Cold impaling a rat man with a crucifix and advising them "It's about time we had a come to Jesus meeting."  We get stunner mania and a crane kick and the internet jizzes its pants.

 

Texas Rangers vs. Texas Rat-men.  coming to SyFy in 2015.

 

 

I copied this and sent it to the Questions at Steve Austin Show email address. I linked back to it and credited you. I think we need Piransi to touch up the script, but it's something.

 

EDIT: Tweeted about it. Austin answered.

 

 

@BuyMeABurrito Yes, they do. I'll direct this epic idea. #ismellmoney

 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought Austin already said that he would get Haku to be his partner against The PED Rats. Perhaps there needs to be a scene where Austin and Macchio are pinned down, about to go down in defeat but are going to go down swinging. Austin gives a speech about going out there to meet the rats face to face ala King Theoden in Two Towers. Then out of the distance, a lone figure stands on a hill and the sun rises behind him. It's Haku. Thrust kicks, Tongan Death Grips, Stunners and Crane Kicks all around. Box office records are shattered.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh, if I'm getting a part...

 

 

I can play the audubon naturalist who's supposed to take the kids on a around the property.  I try to identify the woodpecker that Amy Grant thinks is trying to eat her barn.  I explain to her that it maybe just drumming on her barn, like Morse Code to other woodpeckers in the area that it's their territory (PLOT POINT!).  I get killed by rat. 

 

Later on in the big climax, the kids and Amy and Stone Cold are trapped in the barn, they had set it up as a trap for the rats by blowing it up as handyman Teddy Fowler 361 is ready to blow up the propane tank next to it.  It looks like our heros are in trouble.  Someone says "if only we can signal them."  They get the idea from the woodpecker and morse code.  They tap on the barn S.O.S.  That Ralph Macchio remembers from when he was a boyscout.  They're given enough time to escape, rat-man blowed up real good. 

 

End of movie, Stone Cold says, I've always wanted a daughter... little girl runs up and hugs him.  Looks over his shoulder, sees Jedi ghosts of me and Samuel Morse looking on, we give her the thumbs up, tear of joy runs down her cheek, me and ghost Morse high five.  not a dry eye in the house.  Cut to credits as Las Lonely Boys cover "Baby Baby".

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2013 was the best year of tag wrestling in the US in ten years. I don't get how it's a lost art.

 

I concur but tag team wrestling is still below what it was in the 80s and earlier. But that's probably more due to WWE's booking than anything else. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"WWF was never a tag team territory." is a tricky statement. 

 

Certainly Crockett in the 70s was. AWA was too. Portland was. Mid-South not as much, though the RnRs popped the territory in 84. 

 

With WWF, I feel like they could have a tag team main event a B show, or be the last show of the night of an A show where Hogan went on right before intermission but I don't think WWF ever really valued tag team wrestling like a lot of the other territories.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"WWF was never a tag team territory." is a tricky statement. 

 

Certainly Crockett in the 70s was. AWA was too. Portland was. Mid-South not as much, though the RnRs popped the territory in 84. 

 

With WWF, I feel like they could have a tag team main event a B show, or be the last show of the night of an A show where Hogan went on right before intermission but I don't think WWF ever really valued tag team wrestling like a lot of the other territories.

 

They had a spell in the mid-late 80s where they seemed to care about tag team wrestling. We had The British Bulldogs, Strike Force, The Rockers, Hart Foundation, Demolition and other regular teams during this period. It was also a great way to develop young talent while still getting them over. Bret and Shawn are obvious examples of the success of this method.

 

It's a great way to hide young talent but get them over while accentuating their positive aspects. Rybaxel is a derivative of this idea but it should be utilized more.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you look at the cards, I'm not sure how much they really cared. I think part of that is because they were burned on Windham/Rotunda leaving and then Zenk walking out. Demolition were certainly over and I would think a draw, though. That era is remembered more fondly than the matches would call for, given all the heel and peril stuff, but I wonder how important the tag division REALLY was to the company then, especially compared to other territories. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How could he interview Morton without a discussion of coke, groupies, and Gibson's legendary hog? Nonetheless, great interview. That era of tag teams in Crockett was fantastic and some of my favorite early wrestling memories.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How could he interview Morton without a discussion of coke, groupies, and Gibson's legendary hog? Nonetheless, great interview. That era of tag teams in Crockett was fantastic and some of my favorite early wrestling memories.

 

Talking about dicks is more JR's thing.

 

Austin is too classy.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

They could have got Ricky on a good day.  Then again, having someone who's one of the biggest draws in the history of the sport saying that he loves your work, may put you in a good place especially if he tries to frame questions and corral you into being positive rather than negative.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Austin's shows are shoot interviews with a competent questioner who doesn't seek to feed off the negativity of the interviewee.

Just imagine the Austin interview with the Iron Sheik, going for an hour with the Sheik not sounding anything like his ghostwritten Twitter, talking some tag team wrestling

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you look at the cards, I'm not sure how much they really cared. I think part of that is because they were burned on Windham/Rotunda leaving and then Zenk walking out. Demolition were certainly over and I would think a draw, though. That era is remembered more fondly than the matches would call for, given all the heel and peril stuff, but I wonder how important the tag division REALLY was to the company then, especially compared to other territories. 

That is a myth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...