All Things Borderlands

[J.T.]

I hate this place / The Caustic Caverns / Green crud eats through my armor.

• Arctic Explorer (15) Discovered all named locations in Three Horns, Tundra Express, and Frostburn Canyon.   Yep, my map of Three Horns Valley was incomplete.  Easy fix.
• All Badass Challenges in The Fridge are done.  I finally smoked Smash Head without killing the little mother fuckers on his shoulders.   Now I can go back there and attempt to farm Sledge's Shotgun from him.
• Laney White dropped the absolute worst version of the Gub.  I sold it.
• Three shots at Rakkman and no Gunaraing.  Fuck him.  Off to The Dust I go.
• Finished Mordecai's treasure finding mission.  Finally had a Fire Damage weapon to deal with the Bandit and a Caustic Damage weapon for the Hyperion guy.  Didn't have to worry about the Badass Challenges in Friendship Gulag since I was unsuccessful in saving Roland on the Bloodshot Ramparts and had to do The Rescue Part 2.
• Clan Wars is even more fun when you are an assassin..  Somehow I managed to destroy all three cars at the same time during the Hodunk Speedway sabotage part and the Zaford Wake hit was particularly entertaining thanks to Decept1on and liberal use of Shock Damage AoE grenades.  In the end, I picked the Zafords.  Dat slot machine.
• I can't complete all of the Badass Challenges in The Dust without co-op help.  Sadness.  I've robbed the Cara-Van, found the Cult of the Vault sigils (one is in a particularly tricky spot), and located all of the ECHOs about the history of the Hodunk / Zaford feud..  I still have to do the Hodunk Speedway thing (provided I'm still able to since I helped the Zafords exterminate the last living Hodunk) and I need another player to crush me in Ellie's car masher (SOUNDS LIKE FUN~!).. 
• So, the Hodunks and Zafords signed a truce after Scooter killed Mick Zaford's son, Lucky.  Hey, wait a second.  THAT SHIT HAPPENED BACK IN BORDERLANDS~!
• So that image on Scooter's had isn't just some misogynist truck stop thing.  It's the Zaford family crest.
• Okay, so it is time to stop procrastinating and do these things for Marcus and Sir. Hammerlock.
• Badass Challenges in Sanctuary Hole are done.  It took less than a couple of minutes.  I found the Sugar Shack, jumped to my doom (Down The Rabbit Hole), and doubled back to find the only Cult of the Vault sigil on the map.
• The Caustic Cavern's really suck.  My theory about a Corrosion immunity shield making me safe from the green crud apparently was conceived in insanity.  I had to go to the vending machines at Fink's and buy a shield with a larger capacity for......
• I Can't Feel A Thing. Badass Challenge complete.  I was down to 213 health before the challenge registered as successful.  Very scary.
• I'm going to have to cheat to find out how to do the "Ever Blow Bubbles?" challenge.  The bubbles I try to jump on do not give me a lot of vertical lift.
• The Caverns is also a huge fucking map, so I am not going to mess around.  I will check the YouTubes for the location of the Cult of the Vault sigils so I don't wander all over hell and breakfast looking under every rock for those things..
• The challenge for killing Blue without his leg crystals growing back will have to wait a bit.  I am going to knock out this long ass trip around the map first to gather these ECHOs about Crystalisk behavior for Hammerlock and there is also a side mission marker further out.  I think that is the Erdiium mine cart dealie where you find get even more backstory about the crew of the Sanctuary and the vile things Dahl did in this area.
• There is also a Badass Challenge that shows up as Undisovered here in the Caverns.  I have no clue what that might be.

[RIPPA]

Need co-op help. If only there was a way for you to fix that problem...

[J.T.]

Actually one of my internet nephews in the Dominican Republic still plays 360 but I don't know if he has this game.

I am also ducking some people that keep messaging me about playing Destiny again.

[RIPPA]

Actually my point was BUY A ONE

I can do it all with you - ALL of your stuff transfers over so you wouldn't have to worry about redoing anything. Your challenges, achievements, etc...

Then you will buy GTA V again and then you won't have to worry about buying the right bar stools because your woman will have thrown you out of the house.

But that is further down the line

[J.T.]

1 hour ago, RIPPA said:

Actually my point was BUY A ONE

I know.  I was being selectively ignorant and stupid.

My strategy is working even though it is taking longer than I expected.  If I had brought a XBone into the house six months ago, there would've been an immediate fight about all of the other things we could've spend $300 on. 

Now my girlfriend sees that I pine over a new console, but I've been good and we've done other things with our savings and I have not complained one bit. 

It also helps when her son stays with us during a weekend and he's like, "You don't have the new joint yet?  Damn, mom.  When are you going to let JT spend some money on himself?"

GENIUS~!  Soon I will have an Xbone and there will be no jibber jabber about it.

[BrianS81177]

Yes J.T., buy a One. Become one of us. One of us. One of us.

[J.T.]

I hate this dumb game /  Badass Challenges / They will be the death of me.

• Completed the Crystalisks side mission for Hammerlock, blah, blah, blah, man is the true monster.  That mission takes a reaaaaallly long time to complete because you're compelled to double back and also do the minecart mission... Well.... You're compelled if you have OCD like I do.
• Speaking of the minecart side mission........
• So, in order to reveal the whole map, you have to do the fucking push the Eridium minecart side mission.. *sigh*
• During the push the minecart dealie I got attacked by a Chubby Varkid.  I killed it. 
• Cute Loot (15) Kill a chubby. Okay, so that's what that means.  I've been looking for enemies specifically called a Chubby, but "chubby" is an enemy prefix.
• I cheated to find the Cult of the Vault sigils.  The locations of the sigils are not terribly intuitive like they are on some maps.
• Well, shit.  You have to sprint INTO the acid bubble before it launches you in the air!  Badass Challenge complete.  I landed on the upper trails in two tries.
• The two unknown Badass Challenges in Caustic Caverns are 1) for me to survive running through the fucking corrosive ooze to get to an island out in the middle of the acid goop and 2) for me to smoke Blue without its leg crystals growing back. 
• My Level 21 Jakobs sniper rifle should make short work of Blue as I am pretty good at shooting the leg crystals off of Crystalisks for cash money.  It sucks that Blue is a boss critter and that I will have to kill it.  Now I will be avenging that bitchy Dahl supervisor that wanted to exterminate the Crystalisks in the first place and murdered the mutineers of the Sanctuary.that wouldn't harvest the Crystalisks for their gems..
• I do not have a good feeling about this run through the death glop thing, especially since it is supposed to be part of a fucking Dark Souls Easter Egg, so that makes me think this challenge is ridiculously lethal.  I was sorta hopping that an alkaline shield would make me immune to the corrosive sludge, but that didn't work.  I am going to have to find the point of the map that has the shortest distance to the island and just run for it and hope my shield and health hold up.
• The YouTube folks seem to believe that Elemental Resistance will be helpful for the I Bet I Can Make It challenge, but I had an Adaptive shield at one point and I really didn't notice where Elemental Resistance contributed to damage drop off.  If I give up too much money to Hyperion for revives after multiple failures at this Challenge, I may have to just say Fuck It and come back when I am in my high 20's with High 20's gear.  I should have a good enough shield to help me survive the run..
• I tipped Moxxi $10K and she gave me the Bad Touch.... the gun.. y'know... not the other thing...  Lucky Zaford got the other thing and that's why Scooter killed his ass.
• Fuck, If I hadn't checked my Badass Challenges, I'd never have known that there is a Cult of the Vault sigil in the Holy Spirits.  I will go play slots and putz around for the sigil.
• Hey! Smackdown is on!  Gotta cut this short tonight!

[J.T.]

Jack, you smug asshole / You killed Tina's mother, prick. / I'm coming for you.

• RIP Blue.  It wasn't personal.  Fucking Marcus and his stupid softcore pics of Moxxi.  I turned those snapshots in to Moxxi for the Heart Breaker shotgun and put it in the safe at Crimson Raiders HQ.  I beat the Badass Challenge for killing Blue before his leg crystals grew back.  My Blue Jakobs sniper rifle is no joke.
• HOLY FUCK~!  I MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE STUPID ISLAND OUT IN THE GREEN DEATH GOOP~!  I went into Fight For Your Life mode a couple of seconds after making it on shore, but it counted as success and the revive cost me nearly TEN FUCKING GRAND~! so fuck that Badass Challenge and fuck the Caustic Caverns.  Zer0 is OUT~! *drops the mic*
• Remember when I was all, "I'm wondering if I'm fighting on the right side?" Well, fuck that noise.  Between Jack setting up the slag experimentation program that mutated and killed native Pandorans, including Tina's mother (not sure about what happened to her dad), and then mutating and killing Bloodwing as well, I have decided that I am on the right side of this war and I am going to ice that fucking puke with extreme prejudice. .
• Farewell, Old Girl (20) Completed the mission "Wildlife Preservation."  RIP, Blood.  You will be avenged.  Okay, I need a minute...  Who opened that window and let all of this fucking pollen into the room? 
• Claptrap has an optic cloak now?  Now I don't feel as special as I should.
• Well fuck.  After I got Claptrap his software upgrade, he raised his little appendage so I could give him a high five and he's not flitting about like usual.  That's probably the time the devs expected you to unlock the Up High, Down Low! achievement. I already got that achievement, though.
• The Wildlife Exploitation Preserve map is supposedly the best place to run into Jimmy JENKINS but damned If I can get him to spawn out of any lootable box.  I wish I had cheated earlier because I wouldn't have finished Doctor's Orders so fast.  Oh well, I'm not really worried about unlocking the Challenge Accepted achievement since it sounds needlessly labor intensive.
• Badass Challenges are mostly fetchits on this map:
• I wondered if there was going to be either a Gorillas In the Mist reference or a Born Free reference here in the Wildlife Preserve.  I was wrong.  It was a Lion King reference AND a Bad Boys reference (Ride Together, Die Together!).  I had to flip, flop, and fly around Pimon and Tumbaa and use DoT weapons to weaken them so that I could smoke them both at the same time when the opportunity presented itself.  It was super duper nice of them to stand in one spot and get simultaneously electrocuted to death by my Homing Tesla grenade.  Badass Challenge Complete.
• And here I thought that only Bioware cared about lore!  Not only does Gearbox tell the story about the events leading up to Maya killing the leader of the Order of the Impending Storm, fleeing planet Athenos, and ending up on Pandora, the ECHOs also told about how Maya is an anomaly amongst the six Sirens in that she has no connection to the element, Eridium.... which explains why she can be a player character and can't do the cool shit that Lilith can (...bastard developers...)..  I found all of her Siren's Song backstory ECHOs on my own without cheating because the ECHOs were in fairly obvious places along the route to the boss battle with Bloodwing.  Another Badass Challenge completed!
• Mordy's Secret Stashes had the good taste to be somewhat collocated near one another.  I am a pretty anal map explorer anyway, so these weren't too hard to find... On the other hand.
• I have no clue where these assholes hid the Cult of the Vault sigils on this Wildlife Exploitation Preserve map or where these fucking teddy bears stuck in stalker goo are supposed to be.  Charging phone.  Setting alert on data plan. 
• I ran into three Legendary Loot Midgets in a row while on my way to free Bloodwing.  One dropped the Madhaus! Bandit assault rifle.  I didn't get a variant with an Elemental status effect or anything.  Luke's analysis of the weapon in the "Does This Weapon Suck?" series is below, and his feelings about the gun are far kinder than mine.

 

 

• Unlike Luke, I really really really hated the Madhaus! but to be fair, I think I may have gotten the worst version of it.  Zer0 is only 26th Level now and I am running with a balanced skill package, so I don't have enough points dumped into Sniper to be specced for B0re,.  I may not be seeing the true effect of the gun as it synergizes with the appropriate supplementary skills and it is obviously a lot more lethal when it has an Elemental status effect.
• After the mission at the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve, I went to score on some more Action Skill kills to pad my stats.  Captain Flynt dropped the Thunderball Fists pistol!  SUPER INFRAMAN REFERENCE~!  This cheered me up a little...  The little venting excursion also showed just how time consuming it would be to try to get to Level 5 of the "To Pay The Bills.." Badass Challenge without having Many Must Fall to help me chain my stealth splats and stay cloaked..  Gotta keep grinding until Zer0 is 31st level, respec him, and THEN I can farm kills until I get to Level 5 and collect my 100 Badass Rank and (more importantly) the coveted N1h1l1sm head.  It will probably take hours, but I have OCD and am very stubborn and dumb.  I will make it happen.
• I went back to Sanctuary and got Mordy's booze running mission in The Dust.  Mechanically, I knew I should give the Rakk Ale casks to Moxxi because the Rubi will help me with Zero's lack of passive health regeneration.  But, Moxxi fucked up and said that she passed Mordecai over for Handsome Jack, so fuck her and I'll take that sniper rifle, thank you.  HOLY FUCK, IT IS ANOTHER BLUE JAKBOS BUT THIS ONE HAS 8.0 ZOOM~!  AND A BAYONET~! AND IT IS BETTER THAN THE ONE I USED TO KILL POOR BLUE~!  FUCK YEAH~!
• I felt bad later on for dissing Moxxi, so I tipped Moxxi another $10K large and she gave me the Good Touch.... the weapon... not the other thing...  I don't want to save the planet only to end up buried in the same spot where Scooter buried Lucky Zaford.
• Oh, while I was in The Dust, I made the Hodunk Speedway run in 22 seconds flat!  Badass Challenge complete.  It took three tries to figure out where the shortcuts were.  Getting this done wasn't nearly the exponential pain in the ass that unlocking the Speedy McSpeederton achievement was in Borderlands.  I still have nightmares about not being able to make the lap time on the Ludicrous Speedway because there was a Badass Fire Spiderant in the road blasting the shit out of my runner..
• With the scales balanced, I took Mordecai's mission leading back to the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve.  Felt really good to see the critters on my side for once.  I didn't find all of Mordecai's secret stashes in the story mission, but I found the last one in this side mission.  Badass Challenge complete.
• Now my journey will lead me to Thousand Cuts.  But first I will find the Cult sigils and the teddy bears located somewhere in the Wildlife Preserve.  CHEAT 2 WIN~!
• Gah, And I also have to check the Wildlife Preserve Map for the entrance to the annex.  There is supposed to be another Circle of Slaughter arena around here somewhere.

[J.T.]

The Slab King is / a man of mystery and... / It's only you, Brick,

• Those teddy bears are in spots in the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve that you wouldn't think to look for them.  AND THEY ARE TINY~!
• I must've ran on top of that stupid Cult sigil on the ramp in the Preserve a dozen times.  I was literally standing right on it when I cheated with YouTube to find its location.
• All Badass Challenges in the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve are complete.  I will go back later to see if I can get Jimmy JENKINS to show up at least once in this playthrough.  Off to Thousand Cuts now!
• Something told me that the Slab King was Brick. 
• Got The Band Back Together (20) Completed the mission "The Once and Future Slab."  It's like Christmas!  Seeing the original team in one spot made me mark out a bit.
• That boss battle wasn't much of a boss battle.  Strat is as it always is when confronting Goliaths as Zer0 the galaxy's premier assassin:  snipe helmet off of da big guy, hide, kill the winner of the free for all.
• Zer0 is 27th Level now and the enemies I'm fighting nowadays are also in their mid 20's.  I miss being overleveled.
• I love how Brick's dialogue reinforces game mechanics.  Well, my Slabs may still try to kill ya 'cause they're stupid.  / translation / The devs could not be arsed to make this a free wander zone so good luck with hunting down those Badass Challenges while enemies are shooting at you.
• Well That Was Easy (10) Completed the mission "Shoot This Guy in the Face". I actually backed up a bit to take advantage of my single point in the Optics skill and put one in the dome ofFace McShooty with my trusty Jakobs sniper rifle just to make sure it was a clean headshot.
• Salvadore's backstory ECHOs were fucking awesome!  Badass Challenge complete.  The devs can eat a bag of dicks for hiding some of those things in the places they hide them in.
• That fucking electric treasure cage in Slab City can also eat a bag of dicks.  So, I'm tracing the cable like a fucking electrician to see where the shut off fuse box is and all of a sudden I hear TORA TORA TORA~! as fucking Buzzards start shooting at me.  Too bad for them my anti-aircraft gun at the time was a Purple Tedoire Corrosive Damage shotgun!
• Furthermore, the Slab UHF Badass Challenge can also eat a bag of dicks.  It took me at least forty minutes of trying to platform jump to the top of that stupid antenna.
• Smashing Nine Gravestones?  Finally a simple Badass Challenge   The devs didn't even bother to put them in a crazy place or anything.  Even, better, I got credit for smashing four of them thanks to a Raging Goliath causing a bit of collateral property damage while pounding the shit out of a couple of Marauders after I sniped his helmet off.
• The two Cult of the Vault symbols were also pretty easy to find.  Not nearly as hard as on other maps.
• All Badass Challenges in Thousand Cuts are complete.  I suck at platform jumping.
• Poor Scooter.  I didn't think his poem was that bad.  RIP Daisy.
• This is why we don't work with loons.  I did the side mission for Brick where you have to help defend Slab City against a Hyperion attack.  I was doing just fine on the turret when all of a sudden the Goliath I'm supposed to be assisting got his helmet shot off and the fucker turned heel in mid struggle.   When he raged into Ultra mode, he was fucking 29th level.  Three levels higher than me at the time.  He could take out my Level 24 shield with 2K plus capacity in one hit.  Fuck me sideways.... I was in a constant state of OH COME ON COOLDOWN RATE~!  HURRY THE HELL UP BEFORE HE CATCHES ME~!  and HERE WE GO~!  CLOAKING~! in the attempt to kite that big bastard to other enemies so that they would take each other out.   Sadly, the Hyperion Loaders got to him before he could transition to God-Liath stage so he only had Level 26 Blue loot on him when he died.  I was happy for the new grenade mod, but I would've preferred a Purple or Orange piece of loot..  When the fight was finally over I was all, "That's it?  I don't even get to take a peek inside the Hyperion supply container we've been protecting?"
• Picked up the side mission for The Bane.  The trail of previous owners of the weapon leads to Lynchwood, so I'll tackle that later.
• Also got Hell Hath No Fury from Moxxi and Home Movies from Lilith, so I guess I'll be spending a little time in Opportunity.. 
• I love my current load-out but it's all Level 20 - 21 gear.    Enemies are getting a little tougher to kill so it's time to farm some new shit.
• Speaking of which. Hey, there's a new side mission in Overlook.  What?  The reward is a Blue sniper rifle?  All I have to do is kill 100 bandits and preferably get 25 kills with Fire, Shock, Corrosive, and Explosive damage? Easy.  Oh, this sniper rifle's got good specs and it a Level 26!  HOLY SHIT THIS DAMNED RIFLE NAGS ME LIKE MY GIRLFRIEND ON HOUSE CLEANING DAY WHEN I SWAP OUT TO OTHER WEAPONS~!!  I HATE THIS THING~!  FUCKING HYPERION I SWEAR~!  FUCK YOU, JACK~!  YOU WILL BE BLIND BY THE TIME TO GET TO HELL 'CAUSE I'LL BE WEARING YOUR EYEBALLS LIKE EARRINGS~!  *sold sniper rifle for $2,016 to vending machine*  Whew, I'm glad that's over.  Fuck that gun, I'll just farm something out of the Gun Vending Machine in Opportunity or at Fink's place.

[J.T.]

It's Columbus Day / I am not enjoying it / I am here at work.

• Thanks to crazy shit in Afghanistan and Hurricane Matthew, I have to work Midnight - 0800 in support of a training exercise for a unit that is about to deploy.  That's all the info you get over a public channel.
• I didn't get a chance to play that much over the weekend.  I had a wedding to attend (the weather sucked) and the girlfriend and I had guests to entertain.  Steelers won and I had to take a quick nap so that I could drive 2 1/2 hours to get to the office.  At least I will get holiday pay.
• The Guns vending machine in Opportunity had a Level 24 Maliwan Shock Damage sniper rifle for sale which I bought to get rid of that fucking Level 26 Hyperion booby prize I got from the Side Mission I got from that side mission in Overlook.
• Moxxi is out for revenge in the side mission, Hell Hath No Fury, and Zer0 is eager to oblige.  I beat the Shame the Foreman Badass Challenge and was quite surprised.  I don't have any new corrosive weapons in my arsenal yet, so I resorted to Slag and a shotgun as my alternate means to do damage to armored enemies and it paid big dividends against poor Foreman Jasper.  Constructors are nuking the shit out of me, though. Moxxi's Kiss of Death grenade mod fucking rules.
• Lilith's side missions, Home Movies, is also done.  I slagged and shotgunned my way through most of the mission and boomerbanged my way through the rest.
• I have two !'s left to investigate in Opportunity and I still need to knock out the story mission.
• I also need to knock out the Badass Challenges except for the one I completed during Hell Hath No Fury.  I'll come back and take care of those after I deal with the story content and side missions. 

 

[J.T.]

Angel? A Siren? / Why is this room so dusty? / Stupid Borderlands..

• I beat all of the Badass Challenges for Overlook except for Top O' The World.  I couldn't find a very good cheat tutorial and I got frustrated while trying to find the right towers to platform on.  I'll do it later.
• RIP Fake Jack.  Poor bastard didn't even get a chance to call in reinforcements.  One shot from my Blue Maliwan Shock Damage sniper rifle and his shields and about half of his health went poof.  Then I hopped off of my sniper perch, used Decept1on, and finished him off up close and personal. Very satisfying.
• Yeah, I need to move on with the next mission so that I stop speaking with Jack's voice.
• So now it is time to tackle the Death Wall in Thousand Cuts leading to The BUNKER~!  I nearly followed Claptrap into the Death Wall before he reminded himself that I am not a Hyperion robot and he needed to shut off the defensive screen so that I could follow.  I got past all of the Hyperion rabble thanks to Brick's air support, but I wish he'd stop calling me, "Slab."
• Every time I take out one of the auto-cannons shooting at my Buzzard air support, I trigger laser countermeasures... Great.  And EXP Loaders are only two levels under me, so if one suicides close to me, my shields are gone and I am down to like 400 health....
• So the "bunker" is a flying war machine named BNK-3R.  This day gets better.
• Badass Challenges for the Bunker are complete!  I found the Cult sigil by accident while running for cover and I totally cheated to see what the Undiscovered challenge was.  All the time Brick is screaming "TAKE OUT THE AUTO CANNONS ON THE ROBOT, SLAB~! OR MY BUZZARDS ARE TOAST~!" over my ECHO and the challenge is to take BNK-3R out WITHOUT destroying any of its auto-cannons. 
• It took two tries to get that Challenge.  Stupid Launchers and their splash damage.   I had to farm ammo from Loaders to keep myself in enough Sniper Rifle ammo to score crits on BN3-KR's sensor array.  And then the damn thing waffles in mid air which throws off my aim and causes a stray bullet to severely damage an auto-cannon.  To my relief, the Buzzards of the Slab City Air Force are allowed to take out the cannons; it's just me who can't destroy one without fucking up the challenge.  If I cripple one and let the Buzzards finish off the cannon, I'm solid.
• BNK-3R goes boom.  I AM A BNK-3R BUSTER~!  I clear the area of loot and sell off just about everything.  Cash rules everything around me.
• Time to head down to the computer core.  Voiceprint Biometric Defense bypassed. Secret Elevator unlocked  I'm inside!
• And totally unprepared for what happens next...
• Angel is not an Artificial Intelligence.  Angel is a Siren.  More importantly, Angel is Jack's daughter and she wants us to kill her..
• So, this fight goes south in a hurry.  Angel is being force fed Eridium so that she can charge the Vault Key.  Jack puts shielding over the Eridium injectors and sends every robot he has at me.  Here we go...
• ROLAND~!  FUCK YEAH~!
• When I destroy the first injector, Angel lets out a scream that breaks my heart.  I actually stopped shooting at stuff for a second. 
• Roland and I are starting to get overwhelmed.  This might be it.
• LILITH~!  FUCK YEAH~!  Wait.. aren't you supposed to be back in Sanctuary?
• Despite the screams of agony coming from Angel, Lilith, Roland, and I get the job done.  In her dying breath, she calls her father an asshole.  But I do not get any time to be heartbroken because,
• FUCKING JACK SHOWS UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND SHOOTS ROLAND~!
• AND THEN HE KIDNAPS LILITH~!
• RAGE~! PURE FUCKING RAGE~!
• And suddenly then the Assassinate the Assassin's side mission makes sense.   Jack is killing or capturing the other Sirens so that he has the only means to charge Vault Key (his own daughter) and awaken the Eridian Warrior..  . 
• It also dawns on me that the reason that Angel didn't want Lilith to come to the Bunker is because she wanted the OTHER means of reanimating the Warrior to be safely tucked away in Sanctuary in the hands of the Crimson Raiders.
• Instead, Angel is dead and we hand deliver him the key to the Destruction of Sanctuary Plan B right to his front door and her name is Lilith.  And the leader of the Crimson Raiders is dead.... Fuck.. I hate this game.
• I'm totally going to kill that grinning son of a bitch..  It was personal when Jack killed Bloodwing, and doubly so now.

[Death From Above]

Sum Up Borderlands 2 In A Single Image:

 

http://images.akamai.steamusercontent.com/ugc/260472595005254249/FCF58D589A472466C128AD0233A57A1B13800B32/

 

[J.T.]

No updates today and probably none tomorrow. 

The television where I normally crash at the 'rents is being co-opted by relatives visiting from Cali and I am headed back to MD for the night to oversee the re-fixing of some settlement cracks at my house. 

Not looking forward to the drive back MD this evening or the return trip to VA @ 4AM tomorrow morning.

[Gonzo]

On ‎10‎/‎12‎/‎2016 at 2:54 PM, J.T. said:

No updates today and probably none tomorrow. 

The television where I normally crash at the 'rents is being co-opted by relatives visiting from Cali and I am headed back to MD for the night to oversee the re-fixing of some settlement cracks at my house. 

Not looking forward to the drive back MD this evening or the return trip to VA @ 4AM tomorrow morning.

A settlement needs your help.

I'm sorry.

[J.T.]

Jack has not won, yet. / My path may be wrought with peril, / but my cause is just.

• So after suffering my first major defeat in the game, I... er... Zer0, finds himself in... MARCUS'S STOREROOM? 
• After robbing the fat fuck blind, I go to talk to Mordecai, but he already knows the bad news.
• The side mission where I have to tell Scooter, Moxxi, Marcus, and Zed about Roland's murder is particularly heartbreaking.  Now all of a sudden, Marcus regrets selling weapons to the bandits.  Thanks for nothing, asshole.  Put more Purple items in your vending machines for me, please.
• The devs at Gearbox are making fun of me and my overanalysis now..  I spend about an hour examining the statements of the BFFs and checking for factual paradoxes trying to figure out which one of these jokers is lying about stealing the group's loot.  Then it dawns on me to walk around a bit and one of the assholes has a backpack with a big fucking dollar sign on it... *sigh* *blam* *dollars drop on the ground* *mission complete*  Yep, he's the guilty party.  I am stupid.
• So now the plan is to break into the Hyperion Information Annex and obtain the location of the second Vault.  For that, we need explosives so Brick comes up with the bright idea of mounting a raid on a rival clan of Bandits, the Sawtooths.  I find it hilarious that Brick's plan conveniently involves attacking his enemies, but I am killing people and getting paid to do it and that is what assassins do.
• Thanks to a side mission I picked up from Brick before coming here, not only do I have to raid the Sawtooths, I have to humiliate them by raising Slab clan banners in their territory.
• The raid is successful and I thwack the Sawtooth's leader, Mortar, in the process.  He drops no Orange gear for me.  Damn.
• It broke my heart to blow up Mortar's customized Buzzard.  I was sorta hoping that I could fly it outta here.  Maybe in Borderlands 3 there will be air vehicles?
• Jack gave me the business while I wandered though the Cauldron.  It was not lost on me that of the original Vault Hunters on my side, I have to count on an alcoholic ranger and a deranged pugilistic psychopath to see me to victory while the honorable and wise military mind is dead and the Siren with mystical powers is now the living battery charging up the Vault Key for our nemesis. 
• The fact that Jack is now a grieving father makes him even more dangerous than anyone can ever imagine.
• I'm way behind on completing Badass Challenges for Sawtooth Cauldron and the Eridium Blight.  I destroyed the five auto-cannon batteries in the Blight and I also found all of Zer0's backstory ECHOs in the Sawtooth Cauldron..  So, Zer0 really is like Kung Fu roaming the galaxy testing his skills.  I also thought it was pretty funny that not even Angel had a clue who or what Zer0 actually is.  Weird.... alien.... android,.... ninja thingie..
• I really shoulda started this dumb Lost Treasure side mission while doing the main story mission.  It took FOREVER to kill enough bandits to recover the map pieces.  My heart sank when Brick said that the map leads to the fucking Caustic Caverns.... Oh well, I will thump a few Crystalisks while I am there and whittle down a few Varkid pods for my Badass Challenges.
• This is where I will pick up on Sunday after football.  The update post will be on Monday.
• Once I am done with the Last Treasure mission, I will go and get the other available side mission at the Sawtooth Cauldron.  By then, I should be Level 31 and can finally make an attempt at unlocking the Unseen Predator achievement.

[RIPPA]

10 minutes ago, J.T. said:

 

• The devs at Gearbox are making fun of me and my overanalysis now..  I spend about an hour examining the statements of the BFFs and checking for factual paradoxes trying to figure out which one of these jokers is lying about stealing the group's loot.  Then it dawns on me to walk around a bit and one of the assholes has a backpack with a big fucking dollar sign on it... *sigh* *blam* *dollars drop on the ground* *mission complete*  Yep, he's the guilty party.  I am stupid.

Aka a summary of why it takes JT 8 months to finish a game

[J.T.]

We will have this discussion again when Andromeda comes out and you are searching every corner of the galaxy for one last Codex entry.

[J.T.]

I strike from nowhere! / Or is it from everywhere? / I am omnipresent.

• So I had a few hours to kill before going to pick up my kid last Friday afternoon and Zero was Level 31 so..
• Unseen Predator (20) Remained in Zero's Deception mode for ten seconds straight.
• Got that done in Frostbite Canyon. but before we begin the litany of stuff, I forgot to list off the other two achievements I unlocked during the raid on The Bunker which naturally were:
• An Angel's Wish (25)  Completed the mission "Where Angels Fear To Tread"
• and,
• Highlands Explorer (15) Explorer Discovered all named locations in The Highlands, Thousand Cuts, and Wildlife Exploitation Preserve.
• I respecced myself to complete the Bloodshed tree and staying in Optic Camo for 10 seconds was a breeze.  100% Blooshed is a pretty impressive skill set, but all you are really good for is pure melee.  Your mid to long range killing ability drops dramatically against enemies more comparable in level to you and there is still the issue of a complete lack of passive healing skills in this tree.
• I was pissed at first because I thought I had to remain cloaked for 30 seconds and I could only manage fifteen, but I am old and dumb and forgot that time frame criteria was for Salvadore's Action Skill achievement.
• I got to the 'rents at a decent time, so I decided to finish the two side missions in Sawtooth Cauldron before Krampus came on at 8:20PM on HBO.  Fuck the Gearbox devs for sending me back to the Caustic Caverns to wander around for an hour doing this Lost Treasure bullshit, but at least I got some more cash and Crystalisk murder credit.  I swapped out my old Survivor class mod for the Level 28 Purple Shadow Ninja mod I got from the treasure chest so now I have to depend on my Transfusion grenades for healing until I have enough skill points to get Innervate.
• The Great Escape side mission was weird.  I had already cleared out the Cauldron of Sawtooths, so running back and forth to capture the Lunar Beacon for Ulysses was easy.  I almost fell into the lava while platform jumping to the last ledge.  RIP Ulysses.  How did he not know that the Lunar Supply Shot would kill him?
• Last night it dawned on me that I really should bite the bullet and farm the last 400 kills to unlock the N1h1l1sm custom head.   It took a looooooooooonnnnnggg time, but at least when I went to clear out Southpaw Steam & Power, one of the assassins finally dropped the Dark Night skin (it does indeed have a logo on the uniform), so I am now dressed in black like a proper ninja and my new mask looks fabulous.  This will give you an idea of what the head / skin combo looks like:
• 
• SEXY~!
• And a little creepy since the look kinda reminds me of:
• 
• I messed around a lot, so tonight I respect myself back to general combat and go knock out some of the Badass Challenges I have left to do in Oppprtunity, Eridium Blight, and Sawtooth Cauldron.

 

[J.T.]

Okay, so it looks like the Top O' The World Badass Challenge in Opportunity is another co-op challenge so I'll skip that and knock out the ones in Sawtooth Cauldron this afternoon. 

After that, I'll move on to the Eridium Blight challenges and tackle the next part of the story mission.

[J.T.]

Just messing around. / Trying to find Donkey Mong / Nowhere to be found.

• All of the Badass Challenges in the Sawtooth Cauldron are complete.
• The Cult sigil in the elevator shaft can kiss my ass.  Who thinks up level layouts like that?  It's brilliant, but counterintuitive.  The only way I'd have known that sigil was there is to cheat so that shit is a ploy to sell hint books.
• Dammit, Brick.  I'd have found Avie's Campsite a lot sooner if you hadn't been all, "If you jump off on the North Side of the Nest, you'll be closer to the exit!" during the Sawtooth Raid.  I could've gotten that challenge don much sooner if I had just jumped to the Campsite right after the Slabs took off with the explosives...
• The Race To The Top challenge is EASY when you can cloak like me.   It also helps to remember that you don't take any damage from falling and there is a major shortcut you can take by jumping off of the ledge behind the vending machines near the entrance to Sawtooth Cauldron.
• I finished up Mal The Malfunctioning Loader's side mission tree in Eridium Blight.  I'm glad the game didn't force me to kill him.  He's like a retard Johnny Five trying to figure out life, poor dude.
• CHEAT TO WIN~! I've completed all of the Badass Challenges for Eridium Blight except for three.
• I was dumb and killed Donkey Mong for:
• Definitely An Italian Plumber Achievement (15) Killed Donkey Mong 
• but I got hit by one of his bricks and couldn't finish the Tie Clip Badass Challenge on the first try.  Now that I am ready to go at him again, he's nowhere to be found.
• Neither is King Mong, but I don't have a really good slag weapon for the T'was Slag That Killed The Beast dealie.  I'll game the vending machines for a decent Slag Damage weapon and get that done as soon as possible because I am old and forgetful.
• I can't do the Save The Turrets thing until the last mission of the story, so that will have to wait awhile.
• I also unlocked:
• Decked Out (25) Had Purple-rated gear or better equipped in every slot.
• I've been saving up some shit Level 20 Purple weapons in the Crimson Raider's safehouse to cover item slots in case I lucked out and got a Purple Eridian artifact.  I lucked out and got a Level 28 Purple Elemental Resistance dealie AND a Level 29 Purple Adaptive Shield (YES~!) when I was farming Goliaths while working on Mal's side missions.  I put those items in my respective slots, Fast Traveled back to Sanctuary, grabbed shit weapons, equipped, *plink*, *achievement unlocked*, sold shit weapons.
• I am going to hunt around for Donkey Mong a bit tonight and if the little bastard doesn't spawn in a hurry, I'm going to work on the side missions I have on the Eridium Blight bounty board and then I am going to push on with the story mission.
• *sigh* The Customer Service side mission on the Eridiim Blight bounty board is timed.  Fuck.  CHEAT TO WIN TIME AGAIN~!

[J.T.]

The end is near. / I haven't been to Lynchwood yet / Too many choices.

• So, first the new achievements!
• Bombs Away (20) Completed the mission "Toil And Trouble"
• Knowing Is Half The Battle Achievement (20) Completed the mission "Data Mining"
• Blight Explorer trophy (15) Discovered all named locations in Eridium Blight, Arid Nexus, and Sawtooth Cauldron.
• The only area I had not been to in the Eridium Blight was the Blighted Grotto.  I knew where it was but I kinda lost interest in figuring out how to get to it when I was pushing along with the billion Badass Challenges on that map.
• I got all worked up over Customer Service because of that stupid Arms Dealer mission.  I cleared out the camps in the Blight and had plenty of time to make the runs and complete the side mission for Marcus..  At least he paid well.
• Jack sent me off to kill the bandits he sent to kill his grandmother so that he wouldn't have to pay the bandits.  Fuck Handsome Jack
• When I got the Kill Yourself side mission, I was going to make the jump off of Lover's Leap at first to get my hands on more Eridium, but then I remembered Jack saying something about me being his bitch after I killed myself and you get more EXP for choosing life so fuck Jack.  Suicide is not a solution.
• All Badass Challenges for Eridium Blight are done.  I bought a Blue Sticky Slag Damage grenade to use on King Mong and I reloaded enough times to get Donkey Mong to spawn and complete the Tie Clip challenge.
• I realized the game was patched when I noticed that the spawn sites are completely different from the ones in the YouTube vids, but the caveat being that if King Mong spawns at his usual spot (near the gate leading to the Arid Badlands) and is roaming, Donkey Mong WILL also spawn at his usual spot 95% of the time out of one of the Bullymong caves near the bridge leading to Mount Hellsfont and Grandma's House.
• Killing Donkey Mong again for the Tie Clip BAC also got me Level 5 of the Bully the Bullies BAC for killing 750 total Bullymongs. 100 Badass Rank!  Bonus!
• All Badass Challenges both of the Arid Nexus maps are complete.  I also finished the two side missions that were posted on the Arid Nexus - Badlands bounty board.
• The Under Pressure Badass Challenge can kiss my ass.  How many fucking Loaders does Hyperion have?  Fortunately I had enough points in some key Sniper skills to murder the crap out of the Badass Constructor from a decent distance.  Then I went in to do a bit of cloaked shotgunning with my beloved Blue Tediore Corrosive Damage triple-barreled shotty.
• FUCKING JACK BUILT AN ERIDIUM PIPELINE STRAIGHT THROUGH FYRESTONE~????
• The Get To Know Your Enemy ECHOs were kinda hard to listen to.  Poor Angel.  And Jack blackmailing his way to the Hyperion CEO position wasn't surprising.
• I am not sure why the Gearbox devs even bothered to put in an alternate turn in option where I give the plans for TK Baha's secret weapon to Hyperion.  Fuck Handsome Jack.
• While I am happy that I got to assassinate Hunter Hellquist (Turned off his radio backpack before nailing him with a Sticky Homing MIRVs and leaping from the top of the Hyperion Truth Broadcasting tower before the blast.  BOOOOMMMMM~!!!!  WILHELM SCREAM~!!  BADASS CHALLENGE COMPLETE~!!!) I am saddened that I will no longer get to hear the tales of my exploits on This Just In.  My real reward is that the kid selling the TJI ECHOs in Sanctuary has shut the fuck up.
• That fucking Saturn mech can eat a bag of dicks.  I must've played hide & seek around the old Fyrestone gas station for twenty minutes bringing that big bastard crashing to earth.  And he didn't drop me any Orange loot....
• After grabbing the data for Hero's Pass from the computer at the Hyperion Information Stockade, two more Constructors came to play..  I cowardly.... um..... strategically cloaked, jumped, and ran like hell for the Fast Travel station.
• Well, it looks like I finally get the chance to kill Jack, but I haven't pressed on with The Bane side mission I got a while back nor have I done any other mission related stuff in Lynchwood.  I am guessing that I'll be able to do that shit epilogue style after I help Handsome Jack achieve room temperature.
• Kill Jack.  A poem by Tiny Tina.  YES~!
• I haven't been this stoked about putting hate bullets into a video game character since Saren or Kefka.
• Hey, not only do I get easy alternate mission criteria for this end mission, everyone I visit gives me something!  I only kept the bomb Eridian artifact that Tannis gave me (Level 30 Purple jammie that extends my Second Wind timer) and I sold the Level 30 blue crap that everyone else gave me since I have mostly Level 28-ish gear Purple gear.  Most of it was Level 30 anyway.  Marcus gave me a shit Level 25 Blue Assault Rifle..  Cheap bastard.
• Looks like I'll be sticking a fork into Handsome Jack pretty soon.  Then I will check out the epilogue stuff and work my way through the DLC.
• I had to use Google to discern the mystery of Johnny Waffles and why he hasn't said one word to me so far.  It's been so long since I played this game that I completely forgot about the NPC contest that Gearbox / 2K held.

[BrianS81177]

Ugh I hate farming. God damn Doc Mercy won't drop a fucking Caustic Infinity Pistol no matter how many times I kill him, but he'll drop a regular one all the live long day. 

[J.T.]

I watched the food fight of a Presidential Debate last night.  I fear for our country no matter who is elected.  I had to binge watch the last two episodes of Killjoys Season 2 on Syfy OnDemand to cheer myself up.

Tonight our intrepid heroic ninja thingie will venture to the lonely town of Lynchwood for some unfinished business and will finally get his showdown with Handsome Jack maybe over the weekend, but probably on Monday or Tuesday night before pro wrasslin'.

Yeah, I changed my mind about going to Lynchwood after dealing with the warrior.

[BrianS81177]

You can actually farm for legendaries pretty well in Lynchwood. Have you done the Clan War quest for Ellie yet?

[J.T.]

5 minutes ago, BrianS81177 said:

You can actually farm for legendaries pretty well in Lynchwood. Have you done the Clan War quest for Ellie yet?

Yep.  I betrayed the Hodunks so I could farm a Slagga.